Am I breaking church rules

[Vort]

Maybe that's what gopecon meant. But abstaining from beer or wine is NOT a "specific implementation" of "eternal law", in and of itself. Other than perhaps respecting and obeying a priesthood leader's implementation of a 'good or inspired idea' as policy, for a potential myriad of reasons. But not eternal law.

Of course it's a specific implementation of an eternal law. The eternal law is something on the order of, "Take care of your physical body, stay healthy, and don't do it harm." A specific implementation we have been given today is, "Don't drink alcoholic beverages."

Why, Vort, do I always feel like I'm getting drawn into an argument when I comment on a post of yours? sheesh.

For the answer to that question, you will have to look into your own heart.

[Sharky]

We live 15 miles out of town and yes he would get in his car and drive to town. When our town was out of chew (all but one gas station) he threatened to drive 55 miles to the next town to get a can. He would pop open a beer and drink on the way home.

Then by all means, buy it for him while you are in town!

Keep that harmony in your home & keep him safe & others driving the roads along side him safe.

IMHO, there are times in our lives when we have to make a decision of which commandment we will keep .... do we make a Sunday meetings or do we stop & help the elderly lady change a flat-tire on the side of the road?

Which is the "higher law"?

Do we watch a man drowned because the sign says "No Swimming" or do we dive in & swim out to him & help him back to shore?

I Do Not believe you are breaking any rules, in fact IMHO, just the opposite.

To deliberately say "no" when you are already in town & knowingly create a situation that would place at risk the lives of others ....... versus buying it for him. No contest on which I'd choose to do!

[Faith_Grace]

I truly agree with Sharky.

I think those who are not the member of the church wouldn't understand why making a big deal of buying beer.

Here is the most important issue. Your husband has been supportive of you attending the church, and he is interested himself. Making a big deal about beer at the moment really isn't wise. He would feel judged or forced by your standard which he doesn't share at the moment.

This issue will definitely disappear on its own when your husband truly gets his own testimony and be converted. :)

All the best to you and your family! Hold on. I understand it's hard.

Love is the only key to bring someone to Christ. :) Don't let him feel judged.

[EarlJibbs]

Although I am not married, I have 7 less active brothers and sisters. I love them all, with all my heart. Most of them smoke, all of them drink...they would never ask me to pick up cigarettes or a case of beer for them. It's about respect for my beliefs. Even when we go through a Timmys drive through and I'm driving, they would never have me order their coffees, they shout it from where they are sitting. It's quite funny sometimes. But they love me that much.

Therein lies a problem to the comment. There is a HUGE difference in a bond and promises made between husband/wife and then siblings.

I also have family that drinks and smokes. Would they ever ask me to pick them up a smoke? No, because they too know what I beleive. If I am with them at the store and they buy a pack of beer, I am not going to be offended. Heck, if they ask me to get a cofee at a drive through, I would get it, sure.

But we are talking about a relationship that has been going on for over 20 years and this is a new experience for the husband. The respect for what is beleived will come with time, as it does with family. You dont just come home one day and say "get your own beer" and expect to carry a loving relationship.

[marshac]

We buy coffee, Starbucks K-Cups, wine, beer, etc to have on hand for when guests like my folks are in town- do I look around before putting said items into my shopping cart and cross my fingers that I don't run into anyone as I checkout? You betcha. :)

[Elphaba]

I do not see any Wow issues here. He's not a member, and the circumstances under which he wants you to purchase the beer are reasonable, unless he's an alcoholic, in which case, yes, you would be enabling him by purchasing it, and should not do so.

On the other hand, I would have a huge problem with purchasing the smokeless tobacco for him. Again, because he's a non-member, I do not see it as a WoW issue; rather, it's because smokeless tobacco contains over 25 carcinogens, making it highly carcinogenic. In fact, one out of three chewers get cancer, be it lip, mouth, throat, esophageal or pancreatic, and they often get it younger than smokers do. That would scare the spit out of me! (Pun very intended. :) )

I know that if I were in your shoes, it wouldn't be a matter of should I buy it for him, but COULD I, given all of the above. I know I could not because I would never be able to live with myself if he did, in fact, get cancer.

If you did decide you don't want to purchase these items for him, I would not say it had anything to do with you keeping the Word of Wisdom, because I don't think that's an issue, plus it could make him resentful towards the Church while the two of you are still feeling your way through your return to Church. I would approach it from a life or death perspective, saying you will not enable him to access something that has a one in three chance of killing him.

Elphaba

[Sharky]

We buy coffee, Starbucks K-Cups, wine, beer, etc to have on hand for when guests like my folks are in town- do I look around before putting said items into my shopping cart and cross my fingers that I don't run into anyone as I checkout? You betcha. :)

When we buy that stuff ....

The interesting thing is, the members of the ward that are the most accepting & least judgemental are the very members I look around for. I DO NOT want them to see us buy that stuff!

The judgemental members & gossips, I live to give them fodder!

I know that makes little sense to most, that it seems backwards to worry more about those that will not judge us then we do the gossips & judgers.

We buy & keep on hand many similar items for visitors & a few other purposes.

Tabacco Juice is a great wonderful natural pesticide for aphids, grasshoppers, etc as the plant leaves absorb the toxins & the bugs injest them as they eat (works well for cockroaches too!).

I'll admit that there have been times, such as when we were younger & the wife would be having them severe cramps each month that she would make up a cup of hot chocolate & add a couple of spoons of a certain beverage & a few other medicinal-type uses that we were taught growing up.

I had no problem having a rarely used coffee maker sitting on the counter & a couple bottles of wine etc, tucked in the cupboard when we housed the missionaries -- some were very accepting of it, others I know were counseled by the Bishop about passing judgement & to love & teach through love & acceptance rather then finding fault.

I don't care if the gossips or those that are/would be offended by it see me or my wife buying the stuff.

But I cringe when someone who couldn't-care-less see's us buying those things -- maybe because I kind of look up to & respect their abilities to see thru all the crap & still be so loving & non-judgemental.

[mirkwood]

I have a container of coffee in my food storage. It sits there for a year unused and every summer for about a week my dad makes his coffee from it as he visits. When it becomes stale he throws it away and buys a new container. My dad is not a member (never has been).

So am I breaking any rules?

Yes that is rhetorical.

Breaking the Word of Wisdom comes when a person who is a member of the church consumes proscribed items.

Some of you are straining at gnats.