What makes you stay?

[Vort]

Why do you stay in the LDS Church? I'm not necessarily interested in why you joined the Church, but why you stay. Have you ever considered leaving? What brought you back?

I am treated as a brother. And not in the sense that they steal my stuff or sit on my chest and tickle me until I cry.

I like to think my experiences and efforts have helped me build a strong foundation for my testimony that would weather even bad times. I hope this is true. But going to Church is much like going home, but in some ways even better. I have my small part that I can do to help out, and I get to associate with men and women who are my betters but who don't rub my face in that fact, and whom I can use as models for my own efforts.

I have never seriously considered leaving, so I can't answer the other parts.

[Jennarator]

Why do I stay? I can't deny the confirmation that I received that the church is true. I know I am held responsible for what I know. I better do what the gospel says or else. Plus it makes me happy to know that whatever happens, God is in charge and there is still hope and that eternity will be worth it.

[Just_A_Guy]

Why do you stay in the LDS Church? I'm not necessarily interested in why you joined the Church, but why you stay. Have you ever considered leaving? What brought you back?

The more criminals and dysfunctional families I deal with, the more I realize: It's a freaking circus out there. Not in the Zion bubble/Happy Valley sense; but in the idea that there are a heck of a lot of pitfalls out there, a lot of uncertainty, a lot of bad choices; and organized religion is about the only institutions/ideology I see that keeps people grounded and consistently helps them avoid the minefield that is life. Yeah, yeah, I hear all about the "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual" line. Whatever. I've defended a heck of a lot of self-professed practicing wiccans, pagans, and spiritualists. Evangelical Christians or practicing Mormons? Not so much.

Having decided to stay into the fold of organized religion, it becomes an issue of "which one?"; and the realization that the more I study other religions' (even Christian religions') perception of God, the more I realize I often don't think that kind of god would be a particularly admirable being. The Mormon notion of god, I think, satisfies the justice/mercy conundrum better than any other I've run across. The mainline Christian perception of God - with apologies to my orthodox friends - comes off as downright capricious by comparison.

As to the question of why I stay active: I can't claim that Sacrament meetings are spiritual feasts for me or my family. I flirted with inactivity about seven or eight years ago; but Just_A_Girl (bless her!) wouldn't let me go very far down that road. And you know what? I find things just go better in my life when I'm actively attending meetings. I feel closer to God, though I can't explain any tangible reason for it. But it is a blessing for me and for my family, and I'd like to see that chain continue.

On my mission, we had a saying: "First generation "mole" (Brazilian Portuguese slang for "soft" or "undedicated" or "lazy"), second generation inactive, third generation non-member". I don't want that for my kids.

Edited February 25, 2013 by Just_A_Guy

[Bini]

Why do you stay in the LDS Church? I'm not necessarily interested in why you joined the Church, but why you stay. Have you ever considered leaving? What brought you back?

I stay because my life has more peace than it does without the gospel. I'll be the first to admit that I'm no guru on LDS doctrine, nor have I read the Book of Mormon countless times (I have yet to read it through once) but despite this, the Lord never fails to comfort and guide me when I am lost.

[Vort]

Yeah, yeah, I hear all about the "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual" line. Whatever.

"I'm spiritual but I don't care to participate in any organized religion" == "I'm a linguist but I don't care to speak any organized languages"

[Wingnut]

"I'm spiritual but I don't care to participate in any organized religion" == "I'm a linguist but I don't care to speak any organized languages"

"I'm spiritual but I don't care to participate in any organized religion" = what Joseph Smith felt.

[Guest]

Joseph Smith did some pretty serious spiritual wrestling and asking God what he should do. He didn't just throw his hands in the air and decide to golf on Sundays because he didn't like any of the local churches.

[Wingnut]

Joseph Smith did some pretty serious spiritual wrestling and asking God what he should do. He didn't just throw his hands in the air and decide to golf on Sundays because he didn't like any of the local churches.

I agree. But I don't agree with the notion that someone who feels a spiritual connection to God but isn't comfortable in any organized religion (that they've tried) is automatically lazy/ignorant/whateverVortwasindicating.

[prisonchaplain]

Jesus comforts, but his calling was not about comfort. He told his disciples things would be tough. The Apostle Paul's litany of his own suffering is incredible. Christ called himself the Truth, the Way, the Life--never the Relaxed, the Comfortable, or the Best Personality Fit.

We go to our organized houses of worship to meet God, and to minister to one another. Jesus said that if we cannot love each other we do not love God. The writer of Hebrews said that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves, as some are in the habit of doing.

I've heard here that the inactive rate among LDS is about 60%. Other churches may vary, but none are likely to be that much higher.

The one who says, "I'm not comfortable with organized religion," may or may not be selfish (individualist, if that sounds nicer), but they certainly are not apprehending and embracing God's best for them.

[Vort]

"I'm spiritual but I don't care to participate in any organized religion" = what Joseph Smith felt.

Not so. Joseph Smith searched deeply and sincerely among the churches he had access to.

I agree. But I don't agree with the notion that someone who feels a spiritual connection to God but isn't comfortable in any organized religion (that they've tried) is automatically lazy/ignorant/whateverVortwasindicating.

Wingnut, if you don't know what I was saying, why are you trying to respond to it? Wouldn't it be better to ask?

Religion is the expression of spiritual feeling. Saying you like spirituality but not any of its religious expressions is exactly analogous to saying that you like the idea of verbal communications but don't care for any actual spoken language.

When I am offensive, it's my fault. But when someone takes offense at what I say when I don't mean offense, and when in fact my words are not even intrinsically offensive, that is not my fault.

[Wingnut]

Religion is the expression of spiritual feeling. Saying you like spirituality but not any of its religious expressions is exactly analogous to saying that you like the idea of verbal communications but don't care for any actual spoken language.

I understand this interpretation, but I don't agree with it.

When I am offensive, it's my fault. But when someone takes offense at what I say when I don't mean offense, and when in fact my words are not even intrinsically offensive, that is not my fault.

I wasn't offended. I just disagreed.

[Vort]

I wasn't offended. I just disagreed.

What you wrote certainly sounded to me like you were offended.

I agree. But I don't agree with the notion that someone who feels a spiritual connection to God but isn't comfortable in any organized religion (that they've tried) is automatically lazy/ignorant/whateverVortwasindicating.

[Praetorian_Brow]

I have been hither and thither on church attendance, some of it because of my own unease at the cliches, passive-aggressive culture, strange use of divine right, feel a lot of guilt for frivolous or real issues but mostly I keep a healthy perspective because I am afraid of becoming what I once was, naive. I refuse to give the party lines, "I know the church is true", or even better, "I know President so and so is called of God", while the President is conveniently located next to them.

The church surrounds itself with glossy pictures, professional image, business mentality, but if you scratch the surface, you have a seething sea of humanity with all of its poor and good decisions.

There is the bishops kids who believe they are the chosen ones, there is person who is constantly repenting about something they did yesterday and will probably do it again, there are those who are desperately over compensating for something they did 20 years ago, there is the person who is abusing prescription pills or recreation drugs, there is the quiet unassuming person, there is the person who bends the rules and does what they want, there is the warm and caring person, there is the humble and faithful person. I could go on and on.

My point is that despite us, the members and some of the leadership, possessing an inferiority complex, the LDS church is still a wise place to spend your time. The goals that are discussed are beneficial and the principles are divine. No doubt, some who read this will assume I am being crass and vindictive, but they would have a flawed conclusion as I still believe the gospel is a beautiful thing. That being said, I do believe happiness and truth is not a Mormon monopoly and is available to all.

Vort is incapable of offense it seems.

[brycematheson]

Ive thought about leaving the Church before, but not because of anything that has happened or by offense or anything. It was only through my teenage years, and I was struggling with other things. It was mostly due to my own laziness.

I could never leave the Church now, though. Ive seen too many witnesses of its truthfulness. And the most important is that of how it blesses families. The Gospel of Jesus Christ really does bless families. If for some reason I were ever to leave the Church, I would forever cling onto the principles that are taught. There is a very obvious difference that the Gospel makes in people's lives, if only they're willing to accept it.

[Vort]

Vort is incapable of offense it seems.

Everyone, please take note of this. Praetorian_Brow gets it!

[brian111]

I go because God is all I have. Without God I am alone and my life is lacking and hollow. It has reached a point with me where it is more painful not to go than to go.

People are people and our struggles with people will always be there. We project what we believe about others so we can learn. The question is, do we?

I think truly being a saint is one of the hardest things someone can do. Many are called but few are chosen to be a saint is my take.

I believe the trick is getting to the point where it is not about the routine, but driven from within so that attendance and doing our callings and loving others is authentic and in no way a chore but is exciting and a desired challenge. We want to love ourselves and others anyway. We don't want to have to be told to. It is who we are anyway.

The joy of moving beyond "I have to" and "I am supposed to" is one of the most wonderful things I can think of. As this started to happen for me I truly truly started to enjoy church.

I was inactive for about 10 years friends. When I came back I went into the temple for the 1st time. I was about 28 then. I realized that everything about the gospel and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints was what I wanted anyway! That was so amazing to me. In my heart of hearts, what I really wanted, was in the church and in Christs gospel. :)

I have a strong testimony of my Savior. It is not something I can really explain. I can just say that I know he loves me. I don't know how to tell you I know. He is the opposite of the darkness and confusion of this world and that is most amazing and profound to me. That is why he is the greatest of all. He is the Light. He is truly the only place I want to turn to. As mortals we have to see him as a man sometimes so that we can relate however I don't think it really starts to set in until we start to see that he is a God more powerful than the sun full of sacredness and power and glory. The holiness in the temple reminds me of this :)

I continue to go because the church is outwardly what I am inwardly. It is in similitude of what my spirit is really about. So it feels more like "home" there. I hope this makes sense :)

Edited February 26, 2013 by brian111

[Bini]

I have been hither and thither on church attendance, some of it because of my own unease at the cliches, passive-aggressive culture, strange use of divine right, feel a lot of guilt for frivolous or real issues but mostly I keep a healthy perspective because I am afraid of becoming what I once was, naive. I refuse to give the party lines, "I know the church is true", or even better, "I know President so and so is called of God", while the President is conveniently located next to them.

The church surrounds itself with glossy pictures, professional image, business mentality, but if you scratch the surface, you have a seething sea of humanity with all of its poor and good decisions.

There is the bishops kids who believe they are the chosen ones, there is person who is constantly repenting about something they did yesterday and will probably do it again, there are those who are desperately over compensating for something they did 20 years ago, there is the person who is abusing prescription pills or recreation drugs, there is the quiet unassuming person, there is the person who bends the rules and does what they want, there is the warm and caring person, there is the humble and faithful person. I could go on and on.

My point is that despite us, the members and some of the leadership, possessing an inferiority complex, the LDS church is still a wise place to spend your time. The goals that are discussed are beneficial and the principles are divine. No doubt, some who read this will assume I am being crass and vindictive, but they would have a flawed conclusion as I still believe the gospel is a beautiful thing. That being said, I do believe happiness and truth is not a Mormon monopoly and is available to all.

Vort is incapable of offense it seems.

There are many truths which have been said, of course, imperfection dwells in all of us and within all communities. I also agree that Mormonism does not have monopoly of happiness. I think anyone that believes this is grossly naive. Certainly there are non-Mormons and even non-Christians that find genuine happiness in their own beliefs. Just as there are good and righteous people out in the world that will never know the gospel in this life but will have the opportunity to do so in the next.

Thinking on what you've shared, my life has a peace that only gospel values can give, and no other substitute can suffice. That said, peace and happiness are not necessarily the same thing. I know that there are many that feel comfort and peace from The Lord but perhaps experience much sorrow because (for example) they are the only LDS member of their family and have been disowned due to it. At any rate, all children of God will travel different journeys and to think that any one of us trump the next guy is far from Christlike. We do what we know to be true. Some of us have received personal confirmation that the gospel is true, others of us have a more shaky testimony, and yet there are others that know nothing of it. The Lord will not deny the opportunity to know His truth, no one will miss out on that, however we have agency to defy it.

[Wingnut]

What you wrote certainly sounded to me like you were offended.

I think you're just accustomed to my being offended at you.

That said, peace and happiness are not necessarily the same thing.

Thank you for this reminder.

[Wingnut]

Thank you to everyone who has participated in this thread so far. It's been very uplifting, and I appreciate it.

[Suzie]

Why do you stay in the LDS Church? I'm not necessarily interested in why you joined the Church, but why you stay. Have you ever considered leaving? What brought you back?

My children. Despite any doctrinal or cultural issues I might have I still believe the Church is a nice place to help you raise a family.

[Pintail73]

My family. My wife is a believing member. Although I personally don't put much credence behind the one and only truth claims of the church, I do find many good and practical teachings in the organization and find value in being among like-minded individuals. Because of my wife's beliefs, and my beliefs in centering our family's character around Christ's teaching of love, empathy and service, it brings a harmony to our family. That's what matters to me.

Edited March 3, 2013 by Pintail73

[MormonMama]

Because I have received a testimony of it's truths through the power of the Holy Ghost. That ultimately is what it boils down to.

This is the answer for me as well. I have been inactive due to sheer laziness, but I have never considered leaving the Church.

[Guest DeborahC]

Who says I'm staying?

[pam]

Who says I'm staying?

Does that mean you are leaving?

[SF_Giants66]

Of the people I know that left the church, it seems to be a lot about doctrinal issues. We can say all these things that we want about how they just got offended, wanted to drink alcohol, have unwed sex, etc. However, I think we know better than to dismiss people's reasons for leaving by making judgments and throwing labels. Whether we like it or not a lot of people are leaving the LDS church and many of them were devoted active members at one time.

What seems to make people stay is the community and security along with the satisfaction of their worldview.

People who feel unworthy to tend to have an easier means of departure of the church, but given the high standard, in some way everyone can feel at least partially unworthy.

Lots of variables here obviously.