Husband does Illegal graffiti

[bcguy]

if there are gangs in the area and he paints over there art work, he could be shot on the spot.

time to see a shrink and find a alternative to his emotional high. Can you afford to send him to sky diving school?

[BadWolf]

As an anthropogist.... I loooooooove graffiti.

There are many different types of current graffiti.

- gang tags

- boundary markers (may or may not be gang related)

- intentional defacement / destruction of property &/or harassment of individuals or groups

- political

- message

- underground art

- etc.

Its illegal in most places in the US (not all, some urban areas -even a few rural- encourage specific types of tagging), but hardly illegal everywhere. Some entire countries, and many whole cities have laws that either protect graffiti, or encourage certain forms of it while outlawing others.

The subculture still exists, of course, in places where its either not illegal or outright encouraged. With rules (like not being seen, respecting others work, difficulty of placement, skill/style/form, message, etc.). So the challenge/ thrill/difficulty is still vety much a part of it... without the risk of jail. Some places, like Buenos Aires & Rome, the best artwork is a point of pride for the city... With tours/advertising/etc.

Would moving for his art be something that, as a family, you would be willing to consider?

BW

[BadWolf]

ETA...

To me, that tagging is illegal where you are, is like it being illegal for women to hold jobs in other areas.

Just because a thing is illegal doesn't make it morally wrong.

Some, of course, will want to stay in place in order to further the cause of what they feel to be an unjust law. Others will move to a city/ region/ country that has different laws.

He wants to pursue his art

You want him to not be breaking the law

1+2= TOTALLY doable.

It just needs some research to find a place where you can both have what you want.

Edited March 16, 2013 by BadWolf

[searching_questioner]

Hi Alison, I haven't read the whole thread, so what I am about to say may have been said already. It seems as if your efforts to get him to stop have not been successful, so you might need to switch strategies and start thinking about how to prepare for what might happen if he doesn't stop. My advice centres around the idea that if you are worried about what might happen, start preparing for that possibility now. Doing something about it might actually help to lessen your worry. Perhaps start with some legal research so you will have some idea on how realistic your fears are. How illegal is it to tag in your area? What are the possible range of penalties, and which penalty do you think might apply to your husband's particular type of tagging? Where I live, it would almost be absurd for a judge to impose a custodial sentence for doing graffiti. What kind of actions or services can you and your husband do now that might influence the sentence that a future judge might pass? I'm thinking here about the idea of making some deposits into your "brownie points" bank for that day when you might have to make a substantial withdrawal from it in an attempt to convince a judge that your husband is a good, valuable, contributing member of the community who only deserves a non-custodial sentence. How prepared are you, and what more preparation do you need to do, in order to finance and manage your family if he is imprisoned. Of greater value than talking to your bishop would be to talk to a lawyer and/or financial planner about what could happen and how to prepare for it. Reduce your debt and current expenses, and start saving as much as you can so that you will be better prepared to respond to the financial implications of an arrest and imprisonment. Spend some time sitting in on hearings in your local court house to get an idea of how the justice system works in your area. If you know someone already in prison, perhaps even go to visit that person so you know what its like to do a prison visit in the even that you ever have to visit your husband in prison. Think of how you can gently and subtly start to prepare your children for the possibility that one day daddy might be taken away and imprisoned, but that doesn't necessarily mean he is a bad man who should be avoided or rejected. And if you know where he does his graffiti, I think it would go a long way towards a judge's sentencing decisions if you could say that you, with some help from your friends and family, cleaned off the graffiti that your husband did. An unusual, and possibly unfair suggestion, I know, but I think it could help.

[MorningStar]

But the tagging would lose its allure if it were legal. He gets a rush from it being forbidden. The answer is not moving. Wouldn't be anymore effective than a drug addict moving somewhere where drugs are legal.

[BadWolf]

But the tagging would lose its allure if it were legal. He gets a rush from it being forbidden. The answer is not moving. Wouldn't be anymore effective than a drug addict moving somewhere where drugs are legal.

Art-Style tagging is actually something of a competitive sport.

In places where its either legal or not prosecuted, one actually finds the BEST competition. If he's in it for the art & recognition... The thrill will still be there, because the competition will still be there.

While, yes, in legal places sometimes people work in broad daylight in busy streets full of people watching... That doesn't garner as many "points" as your piece just magically appearing. So people still rig harnesses, work at night, and work really hard not to get caught.

I can see relating art-tagging to mountain climbing, surfing, skiing... Or any other adrenaline junkie kind of sport... But not a useless addiction that only causes pain & suffering. Just because someone skis backcountry (or competition, or even just learning where the bunny slope requires every ounce) for the thrill/challenge/skill needed... Just because its thrilling... Doesn't follow that its comparable to sitting around with a needle in your arm, or have 20 doctors and pharmacies popping pills.

Tagging really is a valid Artform + Competitive sport all in one.

Check this out

graffitimundo | Buenos Aires street art & graffiti

Now... Alison's husband may care nothing for the art... But most tagged care for 3 things

- Art

- Difficulty

- Recognition

((Edited to remove accidental icon. If its still there, ignore the thumb!))

[GeorgiaMike]

You came here with a legitimate question. I don’t think you got very many good answers and some of the responses were frankly horrible. Without getting into a mudfest with everyone else, might I make a simple suggestion: Seek professional help. Find a good counselor and gently cajole your husband in for the first visit. You might have to make it “your” problem if he isn’t ready to accept responsibility and bring him along for “support.” If you as his wife do anything that makes him feel bad or guilty it probably won’t fix this problem. I predict that even if he were to really screw up, get arrested, go to jail, lose his job , etc. he might still continue this hobby. He needs a significant adjustment in his thinking in this one area, this is not a minor issue.

If you had a problem this potentially serious with your car, you could ask friends online or maybe your Bishop. You might accidently figure out how to fix it. But when I experience car trouble I have this really great friend named Papi Xxxx and he fixes my car. He does this for lots of people, all day long, every day, out of a garage that he owns. And, well, he generally charges me hundreds of dollars for his services which I gladly pay because they are worth it. I have 3 cars between 13 and 25 years old with 150 to 250 thousand miles all working great thanks to him. So far it has been far cheaper to keep them going than to buy new ones. Papi is a professional.

By the same logic if you have a problem with water leaks in your house and want them fixed you call a plumber, not the Bishop or get random ideas from strangers on line who happen to share your religion.

Your husband has a problem that a good counselor can help him overcome. It will be cost effective to address this problem before he gets caught.

In my experience, about 1/3 of counselors are crappy, 1/3 probably capable but don’t fit my style and about 1/3 are excellent for me. Better odds than car mechanics. So try one and don’t hesitate to switch. The best counselors will not necessarily make you feel real good at first. They might even make you and your husband work or change. But you will see results more quickly than you think.

Of note, professional counselors will keep it confidential unless your husband is seriously threatening violence to other people, only then are they obligated to get the police involved and rightfully so.

[BenRaines]

Doesn't look like a harmless activity to me.

Tagger falls to death from freeway overpass in Sacramento - latimes.com

Ben Raines

[Full_Monte]

What if you invited some taggers to deface your house one night? Maybe he would be able to see the other side of his "art".