Postpartum recovery and garments and all that...

[Tough Grits]

Peroxide doesn't take everything out. It seemed more respectful to not wear them for a few days to protect them. . . nevermind that I can't afford to replace a few pair a day. I wear mine to do almost everything, including work out. I don't judge my friends who take theirs off to work out. I feel just fine not wearing them in the hospital. If you found a way that works for you, great. Don't judge us because we seem young and irresponsible. I certainly don't look for reasons to not wear them.

Certainly it isn't just the "young" either. I don't think age is the factor for anybody choosing to wear their garments other than instructed. Young or not, members choose for themselves how they will obey and honor any principle or doctrine of the gospel.

To be very candid, yes I wear mine out of obedience, but I also wear them because I truly hate how my bra feels without my silk-top garments. UGH!! Also, I am so glad that I don't have to wear underwear any more...who wants to go back to picking underwear out of places it shouldn't be? LOL I also love that I don't have a panty-line.

[Guest]

I know the original post was erased, but the undertone was still there. Talking down to us and calling us "girls" and seeing yourself as better because you wore your garments while you hemorrhaged for 40 days and 40 nights walking uphill in the snow both ways doesn't teach anyone anything. Good grief, how women tear each other apart. THAT is what I'm tired of. I don't know how much you bled after childbirth. It's none of my business. Just like it's none of yours that I was dropping clots for days after and bled heavily for weeks (in my garments, if you must know, but in the hospital when the bleeding was hard to manage, I unapologetically had them carefully folded in my bag). Maybe you were one of those women who had the equivalent of a heavy period after your births. Good for you. I could tell you why I had the issues I did, especially the one where I almost bled to death, but I don't want to. Women need to support and teach, not judge and tear down. The postpartum phase is hard enough, for crying out loud.

Yes, I'm a little riled up. It must be my immense immaturity.

[Vort]

Don't judge us because we seem young and irresponsible.

Don't be silly! We don't judge you because you seem young and irresponsible. We judge you because you don't agree with us.

(Alternate: We don't judge you because you seem young and irresponsible. We judge you because you are young and irresponsible.)

[Guest]

I'll take it for the "young" part. :) It's my oldest daughter's birthday and I'm a little distressed at how we're both growing older so quickly.

[Tough Grits]

I know the original post was erased, but the undertone was still there. Talking down to us and calling us "girls" and seeing yourself as better because you wore your garments while you hemorrhaged for 40 days and 40 nights walking uphill in the snow both ways doesn't teach anyone anything. Good grief, how women tear each other apart. THAT is what I'm tired of. I don't know how much you bled after childbirth. It's none of my business. Just like it's none of yours that I was dropping clots for days after and bled heavily for weeks (in my garments, if you must know, but in the hospital when the bleeding was hard to manage, I unapologetically had them carefully folded in my bag). Maybe you were one of those women who had the equivalent of a heavy period after your births. Good for you. I could tell you why I had the issues I did, especially the one where I almost bled to death, but I don't want to. Women need to support and teach, not judge and tear down. The postpartum phase is hard enough, for crying out loud.

Yes, I'm a little riled up. It must be my immense immaturity.

Sorry, I didn't see the original post. At least it was edited, right? And at least she stated that, "we all get to choose for ourselves how we will be obedient."

Surely that is allowing each of us to do as we feel prompted to do, right?

I certainly hope nobody took offense at my posts. I have nothing vested other than to share my perspective. I offer no condemnation to anybody for their perspective.

We all have our trials. I did not go through what you did. I am sure you handled it the best you could. I went through two post-partum depressions. I also went through it the best I could. We are all different. I, personally, am glad for the differences! This way we can all share and help each other when going through trials and issues.

Much Love, TG

[Vort]

{...regretting my flippant comment and backing away carefully from the thread...}

[applepansy]

Peroxide doesn't take everything out. It seemed more respectful to not wear them for a few days to protect them. . . nevermind that I can't afford to replace a few pair a day. I wear mine to do almost everything, including work out. I don't judge my friends who take theirs off to work out. I feel just fine not wearing them in the hospital. If you found a way that works for you, great. Don't judge us because we seem young and irresponsible. I certainly don't look for reasons to not wear them.

I didn't say "in the hospital".

Not peroxide alone .... peroxide and soap and a bit of scrubbing. My garments aren't stained. If rinsed quickly cold water alone will take out blood. The things I learned from my RN mother and relearned when I worked in health care.

Eowyn, I have a lot of respect for you. Please don't take my generalities to heart if they don't fit.

Edit: This is a situation where feelings cannot be shared through the typed word. I didn't mean nor use the word "girls" in a derogatory way. To me "Girls" is an inclusive word when talking about sisterhood. We are all girls after all. I'm sorry you took offense.

Second edit: I came to post something funny about pregnancy and childbirth to lighten this discussion. I don't think I'll post it.

Edited March 8, 2013 by applepansy

[Guest]

Sorry I got so upset. I'm not sure why.

[Wingnut]

Sorry I got so upset. I'm not sure why.

You were probably hormonal.

[applepansy]

You were probably hormonal.

Aren't we all?

[Tough Grits]

Sorry I got so upset. I'm not sure why.

Well, at least it scared Vort out of this very feminine thread!

[Guest]

You were probably hormonal.

Yesterday on facebook I learned what a rabbit punch is. . .

[Bini]

The mesh panties are a godsend postpartum! So unattractive but comfy and helpful with afterbirth bleeding (vaginal or cesarean - you'll bleed for about a week at least). I actually got a go home bag with extras and wore them until they were all worn and worn out! They can survive a gentle wash cycle a couple times.

[classylady]

Backroads, at least you know a little as to what to expect. I took childbirth classes, read up on everything I could, but still didn't know anything about postpartum bleeding until after I had my first baby. It was a total shock! I don't know how I could have missed that piece of information. Maybe it just went over my head during classes or in my reading. lol

The mesh panties worked great, but I felt like I was wearing big grandma panties. Definitely not sexy undies. But, at that point feeling sexy was the last thing on my mind.

[pam]

Aren't we all?

Not me. I gave hormones up for lent about 11 years ago and never went back.

[Backroads]

I figure I will see how I feel about my garments when it all comes to that. I have been imagining myself in the hospital having my garments off only as to not inconvenience the baby as she comes out. I really had no idea how it all worked in that regard. I don't want to make excuses for not wearing garments or anything, but I just wasn't sure what the "rule" was. Thanks to all.

And I sort of wish I could get rid of my hormones. Every song on the radio makes me bawl.

[Wingnut]

Not me. I gave hormones up for lent about 11 years ago and never went back.

Hilarious!!

Another thing about the bleeding -- at my hospital, they not only gave us the mesh panties, but also a whole package of the giant maxi pads to take home, which was nice. I had c-sections with both of mine, so I had less vaginal bleeding than a traditional delivery might produce, but it was still good to have them.

So, something that I discovered when I had my first daughter, that no one told me about in advance, is that it's not uncommon to go completely whackadoodle about 3 days after the baby is born. I knew about postpartum depression, and I knew about crazy pregnancy hormones, but I didn't know about what can happen in between those two things. After the baby is born, your body is still producing pregnancy hormones for a little while, only there's no baby to push them into. So they just kind-of get lost in your system for a day until your body realizes that it needs to switch gears. So don't freak out if you freak out while your body goes through that emotional/hormonal change.

[Bini]

So, something that I discovered when I had my first daughter, that no one told me about in advance, is that it's not uncommon to go completely whackadoodle about 3 days after the baby is born. I knew about postpartum depression, and I knew about crazy pregnancy hormones, but I didn't know about what can happen in between those two things. After the baby is born, your body is still producing pregnancy hormones for a little while, only there's no baby to push them into. So they just kind-of get lost in your system for a day until your body realizes that it needs to switch gears. So don't freak out if you freak out while your body goes through that emotional/hormonal change.

Before my PPD kicked in (and I dealt with it for months), I experienced this, the limbo feeling. When my daughter was delivered, I didn't even shed a tear, I sort of felt like.. Wha? Huh? That's it? Umm, okay.. Now what. Felt like that for several days, like I was just going through the motions of things, yet DH was really in tune and emotional :)

[Guest]

I figure I will see how I feel about my garments when it all comes to that. I have been imagining myself in the hospital having my garments off only as to not inconvenience the baby as she comes out. I really had no idea how it all worked in that regard. I don't want to make excuses for not wearing garments or anything, but I just wasn't sure what the "rule" was. Thanks to all.

And I sort of wish I could get rid of my hormones. Every song on the radio makes me bawl.

At the beginning of my one surprise pregnancy, before I knew I was pregnant, I was involved in a regional choir. There was one song that, every time we rehearsed it, made me cry. Not just cry, ugly cry. Big, ugly sobs every single time we sang this song, especially one line of it. I thought the author of the words was the most genius poet ever. Turns out I was just pregnant. (It's still a nice song, but my goodness, hormones can make us goofy.)

[Gwen]

So kinda jumping back to older posts .........

This is the first time I've ever heard anything about not wearing just one part of the garments. I kinda find that odd. I mean I understand they are a "set" and all that but.... I don't know, I see it as do what you can when you can. I can't wear the bottoms for whatever reason, that's fine but I can wear the top, so I do. It's the spirit of things. Like fasting, sometimes you can't do a full fast but you do what you can. Anyway, that just threw me. I'll always go back to the counsel that wearing the garment is between the person and the lord and I feel good about the decisions I've made concerning my garments so all is well.

As for the postpartum bleeding somehow I didn't know anything about it with my first either. Maybe it's not talked about enough or I tuned it out as well. I think when it's talked about it's usually understated. It is a lot of blood. It's not "period like" in my opinion. But then I also think periods are often understated for young women. I remember being told "at first it will just be a little spotting" and having had a period many years now I would say it that way as well. But for a young girl whose only experience with blood is a small cut or something it doesn't seem like "spotting". My first heavy period I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death. lol

[dahlia]

Since we're talking post-partum issues here - did any one else break their coccyx in childbirth? My little pumpkin was just under 10 pounds. The docs didn't tell me about the broken coccyx. So I go home, can't sit too long, can't stand too long, and don't know what the issue is, but since I'd just had a baby, I figured it went with the territory.

When I went for the 6 week check up, I told the doctor about my issue and that's when he said, "Oh yeah, it was a big baby. Your coccyx was broken. It happens sometimes." Gee whiz.

I was a young thing when I had my son. I didn't question doctors or hospital staff. Since having my son, I've become a lot more assertive about my health. My step-father had a number of medical malpractice cases and I've picked up enough not to trust these people as far as I can throw them. I'm the patient who comes to appointments with a computer and PDFs, lists of possible drugs to be prescribed and their interactions, etc. I'm sure they like to see me coming. : )

[annewandering]

There is at least one nice app out there for dr appointments, meds lists, medical conditions etc that is nice to take with you to the doc.

I have had 10 babies and never once have I ever heard of these mesh panties. Of course four were at home but still. Sounds like a very nice invention

[Wordnerd]

So, something that I discovered when I had my first daughter, that no one told me about in advance, is that it's not uncommon to go completely whackadoodle about 3 days after the baby is born. I knew about postpartum depression, and I knew about crazy pregnancy hormones, but I didn't know about what can happen in between those two things. After the baby is born, your body is still producing pregnancy hormones for a little while, only there's no baby to push them into. So they just kind-of get lost in your system for a day until your body realizes that it needs to switch gears. So don't freak out if you freak out while your body goes through that emotional/hormonal change.

This happened to me too. Also right at three days after both kids. With number one I was still in the hospital, because paediatrician and obstetrician weren't communicating and neither would sign release forms until the other did. So I wound up bawling because I wanted to go home so badly, luckily a nurse walked in and after I explained the problem she went and sorted them out, and I got out that day! With number two I was at home, but my husband had to go to his best friends wedding (baby was early) so he rented me "the Notebook" and went out. Well when he called to check on me I was sobbing incoherently. He came home early. So my advice is, don't watch sappy movies, and have support around you around day 3! Also nurses can fix most doctor issues!

[Tough Grits]

I have given birth 3 times. The first time (when I was 19), I worked right up until I had to go to hospital with contractions. No PPD with my first son's birth.

Second time, from the time I found out I was pregnant, I was SO tired all the time. For somebody who is full-throttle 24/7, that sluggish, exhausted feeling was weird. Then after my daughter was born the PPD began. For me it was not an over-load of emotions. It was a lack of emotions. I am normally out-going and hyper. During my PPD I was "empty". I felt like I was under a larger mass of black clouds that just wouldn't go away. I was still able to do all the things I had always done, I was just doing them as if I was empty. I wish I could explain it better.

The third time, I was tired again from the moment I got pregnant, but this time I started getting the dark clouds BEFORE my son was born. In fact, during my 3rd trimester the darkness and emptiness was so bad that I finally mentioned something to my OB/GYN at one of my visits. She basically told me to suck it up (she was ex-military, and I LOVED her) and that there was nothing she could give me in the 3rd trimester. Well, I did exactly as she told me to do, I sucked it up. Little did I know that what I was experiencing was serious. I should have been more vocal, more specific in what I was feeling and struggling with. It only got worse after my son was born. Instead of the clouds lasting for a few months (as with my daughter), I think the clouds last until he was 10 or 11 months old.

Hmm...He was born May 2003. I then suffered a complete break-down in December 2004. Maybe I never really got over it then...? I never thought of that. I was under tremendous pressure and anxiety with other issues occurring in my husband's family, that I always attributed my break-down to that. Maybe it was, but maybe I wasn't fully recovered from my PPD. I don't know.

I will say this...please take your mental/emotional health seriously. Please be very candid with your doctor about what you are thinking and feeling. They can't help you if they don't know what is going on! If you don't feel your doctor is taking you seriously or has your best interest, then get another one! Get second opinions! There is so much that I would do different if I had known then what I know now. ~TG

Edited March 9, 2013 by Tough Grits
TYPO

[Backroads]

I do have a worry about having PPD. I'm trying not to worry too much about it (in case that just makes it worse) but I'm getting help lined up and am adamant about trying to rest when the baby sleeps.