Parents and personal revelation

[Le_chocolat]

I'm 24, female, and single. Not dating anyone, not in a relationship. When my parents and I went to the temple my mom said she received revelation about who I'm going to marry (or more like who I'm NOT going to marry) and when I'm going to get married. I'm not ready to get married, have no desire to do so in the near future, and I've prayed multiple times to know if she's right and the Lord doesn't want to tell me right now.

I complained to my dad about it and he said that she doesn't have to right to receive revelation for my future. So is that true? Or is it possible that my mom is right?

[Le_chocolat]

Can someone move this thread to YSA? kthnx

[mnn727]

I believe much of Revelation about marriage is more wishful thinking than actual revelation.

Your father is right, you have a right to that revelation, your parents do not.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Your father is correct.

Your Mothers "revelation" is misguided, even with good intentions of finding her daughter a spouse. Only you can get figure out who your spouse should be.

I have noticed that a lot of people distort or blur the lines between revelation and wishful thinking. I have even encountered a few who label revelation in an attempt to manipulate.

[Gwen]

I agree that you are the one entitled to that revelation. You are an adult now.

However, they can receive revelation pertaining to their kids. But it's not usually specifics but for them or to assist you.

2 examples.

My dad out of the blue one day says something along the lines of, "You know I think for you to find the right guy for you he's going to have had some life experience. Maybe not the kind you would like. Maybe a adult convert that has made some mistakes or something. It's just something that keeps coming to me." It was just a couple days later the guy I was seriously dating tells me that he's been married before. However, it wasn't really an issue for me. Do I think my dad received revelation about me? yes. But I don't think it was for me. I think it was for him to get used to the idea. lol

However, my husband on the other hand, before he married his ex had his parents and a priesthood leader say something along the lines to him that something didn't feel right about his choice in companion. That he needed to really pray about it and make sure his feelings weren't blocking his ability to listen to the spirit. He went forward with his decision in spite of their warnings and it didn't go so well. Did they receive revelation about him? I think so, though it wasn't detailed and it was more of a "trying to get your attention so you'll really listen".

In the end the only one responsible for revelation about us is us. But sometimes those closest to us can be inspired to help us along the path. The key is when someone is claiming something get the confirmation for yourself. If that confirmation doesn't come then I wouldn't assume it's revelation. I just don't think the lord will tell someone else before he's ready to tell you (if he did he'd probably also tell them to keep it to themselves lol).

Trust yourself. If you aren't ready then don't get married. If you want to get married but don't feel ready then focus your goals and prayers on what you can do to become ready. Go from there.

[applepansy]

There is a fine line. Your mother can receive revelation regarding you. As your mother she has a stewardship, regardless of your age. The decision who to marry or not is entirely up to you.

My mother did receive revelation regarding a man who was pursuing my younger sister. She didn't use the information to force my sister to decide one way or another. My mother's revelation turned out to be correct. Looking back I believe my mother was shown things to prepare her to help.

Remember that agency is never taken away. Just because your mother says she's received revelation about who you shouldn't marry doesn't mean anything more than she might have information to help her with whatever decisions you make.

[NeuroTypical]

my mom said she received revelation about who I'm going to marry (or more like who I'm NOT going to marry) and when I'm going to get married.

From where I'm standing, it doesn't really matter one way or the other whether your mother recieved an actual revelation or not. Should you make choices not in harmony with your mother's believed revelation, one simple phrase is all that's needed:

"I changed my mind."

You've got your agency on the matter, and get to make your own decisions about whom to marry and when. If God wishes something else for you, one would think He would take it up with you personally.

[Anddenex]

Your father is actually incorrect.

Parents have what is called "stewardship" over their children. They are given rights and privileges to receive revelation regarding your future, or choices you may make in the future, and then seek to help guide you.

A perfect example is the tree of life. The Lord is able to reveal anything to stewards regarding those who they have responsibility over.

However, despite your mother's revelation you are still responsible for your own choice. Your mother may have been revealed a truth should you keep on a path of righteousness and what type of person you will marry.

I agree with Gwen in all aspects, except the idea that the Lord will tell you first. If you are not ready to receive the answer, but your mother or father are, then he can reveal such to them also before it is revealed to you.

Our stewardships are powerful avenues for revelation. Even your bishop could receive a similar revelation due to his stewardship.

[Praetorian_Brow]

Many people confuse common sense or logical conclusions as divine revelation.

My father has more experience than I do, in some aspects of life, but not all, but if he talked about who I should marry, I would laugh in his face. Now, if my mother talked about who I should marry, I would listen momentarily and appreciate her intentions, but I would ultimately realize that using my maturity to determine my own path is what maturity is about.

Listen to your heart.

[Anddenex]

Joseph in Egypt is one of my favorite people in the Bible. His life, the choices he made despite the lot given to him, and how much he loved God.

As a young boy Joseph was revealed an aspect about his father and his brothers by which his brother's assumed he was wrong, a misguided revelation which wasn't divine revelation, and they hated him for it. He shares with his father and brother:

"And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more.

6 And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed:

7 For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf."

We are told later in these verses his brothers reactions to his dreams, "And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words." These dreams they mistook for common sense, and logical conclusions, Joseph was the second youngest, and the birthright was not his. What a complete moron they thought.

This later was revealed to be true. Why didn't the Lord reveal the truth to his brother's? How have you responded to your mother? You "complained" to your father. Would the Lord be able to reveal truth to you while your heart is in confusion; while you are "complaining?

You would be wise to listen and counsel with your mother, pay very close attention to her shared vision. She is a matriarch, as a matriarch she has rights and privileges regarding her children. Once you have counseled with her, and cease murmuring about what the Lord can reveal, you will place yourself in a position to receive further light and truth.

Remember, Laman & Lemuel mocked their father for his "foolish dreams." What is most interesting about Joseph dreams, if that Jacob (Israel), by which the covenant continues to flow from, a righteous man, even was misguided and did not believe his sons dreams, and rebuked him for them.

How do you think Jacob felt when he stood before a man, his son, second unto Pharoah -- knowing the dream was fulfilled?

Honor your mother, counsel with her and your father, and then mature choices through proper guidance.

[tumbledquartz]

My mother told me that she had received revelation that I wasn't supposed to marry my fiance. I was 18, he was 24. He had been through drug rehab. We couldn't get married in the temple. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to use common sense to see that that wasn't a good match for me, so I can't say for /sure/ that what she received was revelation, as opposed to common sense. But it turned out, either way, she was right. I prayed about it to get the answer for myself, and was warned that it wasn't the right thing, but I did it anyway. He had given up drugs and everything and come back to the church, and I was naive and believed so much that people could change that I staked my life on it, against the whispering of the spirit.

I can't say that I absolutely regret my decision in every way. I mean, I do have some beautiful kids out of the deal. But the marriage has turned out to be extremely hard. My husband has gone back to using drugs and alcohol, has left the church, and has cheated on me. It's been a tough row to hoe, and who's to say I wouldn't have been given my same children if I had married someone else? I don't know; looking back doesn't do anybody any good.

But for you, looking forward, I would advise you to take your mom's counsel seriously. Whether she is receiving revelation through her stewardship over you or just feeling some motherly concern and common sense, listen to her advice and weigh it carefully, and then pray to know for yourself what you should do.