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Marriageinprogress

Soccer on Sundays?

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My 10 year old is a stand out soccer player and was asked to play on the spring select/all star team. We accepted under the condition that she wouldn't be able to participate in games on Sundays.

This decision has been so hard for me (Mom) and my daughter. I never allow my daughter to see my struggle with this commitment but stay strong and encourage her that she is doing the right thing. I feel horrible that she has to feel the weight of the disappointment from the team, parents, and her coaches that she doesn't play on Sundays.

I feel frustrated keeping this commitment when our Bishop watches the Superbowl on Sundays, families vacation, watch sporting events, travel, etc. and yet my daughter can't play in a couple Sunday games throughout the year. Also, championship games are always played on Sundays and our team was undefeated going into out championship game on Sunday and we didn't attend and the team lost. At the following practice a teammate told my daughter you are the best player on the team, we would have won if you were there.

Sorry, I'm venting and struggling with this. My husband is fully committed to keeping the Sabath and is fine missing the games. My daughter gets sad when she misses a game but understands why we don't take her.

Edited by Marriageinprogress

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I think keeping the Sabbath Holy means different things to different people.

Long before I converted, the LDS family across the street had a daughter I competed with. On Sundays, if there was a meet or an event, her WHOLE family came to it (not small) & cheered her on. Their attitude was "We spend Sundays as a family."

Sometimes, if we were competing out of town, her dad & brothers would hold a sacrement up in their hotel room.

Other times, we'd head straight from practice to (what Ive later come to learn) FHE. I loooooved Mondays at her house. We made it right in time for Sundaes & boardgames. Sometimes we'd be eating dinner with one hand, dessert with the other, and moving our game piece with our elbows.

I don't know if their family paradigm is what's "normal" in the church, or if yours is... But Im personally using theirs with my own family: Bring God along, not be missing out because of God.

I could be wrong in what Im doing.

But I wouldn't trade having dawn prayers over the snowfields with my son in the mountains this winter, for anything. Not the boyscout camping trips. Nor so many other things that happen on Sundays. Be ause for ME, what makes Sundays holy isn't being inside 4 walls. Its being with my family, and sacrement or not (I envy my friends who have the priesthood in their families, who can perform ordinances wherever they may be), deliberately bringing God along with us.

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Don't let your bishop's actions or that of anyone in any church office including President Monson ever determine your commitment to coming unto Christ. In my humble opinion, you and your daughter made a decision, which I know pleases Heavenly Father. Yes the Sabbath means different things to different people, but what matters is what it means to the Lord.

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I'm a convert also and I guess I need to gain a testimony of what the Sabbath Day means to me. I was raised and competeing in mutiple sports and received a scholarship for college, I want to argue that it wouldn't hurt to play 2/3 three soccer games a year to help her team win a championship.

I'm pretty stubborn and I feel that if my daughter can't play on Sundays 2/3 times a year than we should probably turn down the position on the allstar team. The team works together and develops to prepare themselves for the playoffs and then we no show on the most important games. She was asked to play on club teams but we declined because they play on Sundays all the time.

I know it's just soccer and such a small part in her life but sports was such a huge part of my life and created great experiences and memories that I will never forget.

Sorry. Again I'm just venting. (Better on here than to my husband, he feels disappointed that I struggle with this)

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We went through this same thing with my daughter. We chose together for her to not play on Sundays. As in, we didn't force the decision on her but we talked about it together and did what felt right for us and our family. Then she told her coaches ( 3 soccer teams over the years) that she'd only play the Friday and Sat. games. They were always respectful of her choice- even when we lived in MN where Sunday games are standard. Yes it was tough, especially when her team would go on to win the championships in the Sunday games. She was sad to never be in the pictures or be able to celebrate with the team. But we felt such a sense of peace about it and now at 18 my daughter has a very strong testimony, plans to go on a mission and is a wonderful example to her friends and younger sisters. She might have gotten a soccer scholarship somewhere had she played on Sundays. But the last two years she opted not to play on the competetive- traveling teams at all because it just wasn't worth the money to go to these far away games only to play one or two games per tournament. She was the top scoring player for her high school team but to get those scholarships you have to be super aggressive, go to camps and spend oodles of money going to tourneys, play in the competetive league and in the final games on Sundays to get noticed by recruiters. Ultimately, none of that matters to her now. In fact it seems unimportant because she got into BYU and her grades and her standing with Heavenly Father mean more to her than playing soccer. (Can you tell I'm proud of her? )

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(I envy my friends who have the priesthood in their families, who can perform ordinances wherever they may be),.

That's really not true, while they have the ability to preform ordinances, they probably don't have the authority to do so.

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I know two relatives who used to play sports on Sundays. They were inactive in their church activities for many years. The games would conflict with church meetings many times. One of them has decided to begin attending church again but the other still has not. Did playing softball on Sundays affect them in a negative way? From my perspective I think it did.

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I would meet with the coach and make it very clear that your family does not participate in sports on Sundays. I would tell him/her you would appreciate his/her help and support in this AND in getting the team to understand. I would also let him/her know if this was a problem and the support for this decision from the coach/team was not there, that you would take your child and play for a different team. If she is as good as you say, they will either take steps to accommodate you in this request, or another team that will make this accommodation will be happy to have your child on the team.

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I would meet with the coach and make it very clear that your family does not participate in sports on Sundays. I would tell him/her you would appreciate his/her help and support in this AND in getting the team to understand. I would also let him/her know if this was a problem and the support for this decision from the coach/team was not there, that you would take your child and play for a different team. If she is as good as you say, they will either take steps to accommodate you in this request, or another team that will make this accommodation will be happy to have your child on the team.

We did make it clear and they agreed to accommodate her so she could play on the team but when it comes game time on Sunday they start putting a lot of pressure on us for her to play. We have never given in but we feel the disappointment from the coaches, players, and parents.

I think what it comes down to is, it's my problem. I secretly struggle with not allowing her to play and when I have more trust and faith this won't be such a problem.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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Dear Sister MiP,

As I read your story I remembered a general conference talk by President Monson regarding someone who was in a similar situation.

If you'll read it I'm confident it will help you.

I also hope you'll prayerfully seek a witness from the Lord regarding the matter as his approval and confirmation would offset the feelings of disappointment you're feeling from the coaches, players, and parents. After all, who would you rather please?

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Dear Sister MiP,

As I read your story I remembered a general conference talk by President Monson regarding someone who was in a similar situation.

If you'll read it I'm confident it will help you.

I also hope you'll prayerfully seek a witness from the Lord regarding the matter as his approval and confirmation would offset the feelings of disappointment you're feeling from the coaches, players, and parents. After all, who would you rather please?

I just listened to the talk with my whole family and it was great. We all needed to here thesw words from our Prophet for different reasons.

Thank you!!!

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Personally I would tell the coach that you are unhappy with their behavior and that you will be moving to a new team...and then move to a new team. I would not tolerate that.

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One other thought, and this has kind of been touched on here already: the sabbath isn't just about what we can't do; it's about what we're doing in place of the things we would be doing for the rest of the week. I don't know what your family routines are; but in general I can see how it would be especially hard to miss a Sunday competition if I know that I'm just going to be sitting around home doing nothing (or at least, nothing I particularly enjoy).

In Gospel Doctrine yesterday, we talked about trying to make the Sabbath something to look forward to. I think that, as a parent, if I can get that attitude instilled in my kids; then missing out on some of those Sunday competitions will hopefully be a little easier.

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Personally I'm not sure what the churches position is on sport and the sabbath day. I know what is being taught in conference extra. But the church's media department is certainly not up to date with what's being taught.

We have a very talented football player in my part of the world who gave up a 2 million dollar contract to serve a mission. He has been on the churches website and was one of the main faces in a I'm a Mormon campaign run by the church down here. The church has promoted him pretty heavy and he is often the guess speaker at many youth events.

Does he play on Sundays? Yes he does? Apparently it's ok if your a professional. But what's not addressed is the countless of Sunday games through youth for reps and trials that you need to play in order to make it to the professional league. As a former young men's president we would be extremely concerned if one of our young men was out playing sport on Sunday. How are we to know if he or she will make a professional career out of that sport.

On the flip side their is a fairly recent conference talk and video on Sid Gowing. All Black rugby union representative who nerver played on Sunday. He was known for keeping the sabbath and was a great example and player. Both of theses men have been portrayed as Mormon ambassadors yet both had opposite beliefs on what the sabbath day represents regarding sport.

It seems as though if the media department for the church can use them. Then it dosen't matter if you play on Sunday or not. Atleast that's the message that's being sent out.

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Isaiah didn't need a media department.

13 ┬ÂIf thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the Lord, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

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