Anyone here who has received their temple endowments?


Sourgirl
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I just wanted to ask your feelings on your experience on going to the temple, without going into any detail.

How did the whole experience make you feel?

Did you understand anythig?

What helped to guide you in the days after your endowments?

Recently we had our first... as much as I would like to say that I loved it..

I did not, while i believe it is the house of the lord... I am left puzzled. I love the church,

I really really do. I've never been happier, but this experience has left me feeling

numb, confused and honestly a bit embarrased. A lot of people have said it was the

best day of their lives, was I not prepared well enough? I was excited... now I am

just confused.

While I understand that my view and feelings might be of the "world" hence the

weirded out part. I wanna feel happy again, I am numb, I am sad, I felt humiliated, silly.

While I get the message... I can't stop feeling like this. Any suggestions?

I feel like I need some type of intervention, but In my heart I love the church, I believe in our prophets and everything is so perfect until this.

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Go back again as soon as possible. Read the Book of Moses before you go. Doubt your doubts because doubt regarding the things of God often comes from Satan. He would love nothing more than for you to feel uncomfortable and then let those feelings keep you from going back and learning more about the endowment.

I was 19 when I was endowed. It was a special day and I felt special. I had questions and there were things I didn't understand but I didn't expect to remember and understand everything. Often people feel overwhelmed but I didn't. I knew I would have to learn as I went. There is a lot of information in the endowment. Understanding the temple endowment can take a lifetime. I learn something new every time I go.

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How did the whole experience make you feel?

It was kinda overwhelming, there is a lot to take in the first time through. Most of my memories of my first time were a blur and if I'd never gone back I'm sure it would have just slipped from my memory soon enough. Of course my wedding day was overwhelming and a blur, so things being overwhelming doesn't mean they are bad. It just means there was a lot experienced in a short amount of time.

Did you understand anythig?

Anything? Most certainly. A fair amount of it eluded me the first time though. It took returning to the temple to start to get a grasp on what is contained and being taught in the endowment. This ties back into the first time through being a bit overwhelming. Each time you go back you have more to draw from that you've learned previously, and once you've gone enough you stop worrying about the practical aspect of participation which can make it hard to focus on the spiritual if you tend towards the nervous side of things like I do.

What helped to guide you in the days after your endowments?

I didn't feel I needed guidance afterwards. I was a little dazed and it took a little while for what I remembered to sink in but you seem to be experiencing some sort of crisis and I didn't have that. My advice would be twofold:

1) Find someone you can talk to candidly about your turmoil in addition to praying about it.

2) Inasmuch as the concern is that everything was a blur I suggest doing some proxy work so that you go back. With repeated exposure and time you learn those things that you missed because it was like trying to drink information from a fire hose.

Edited by Dravin
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I just wanted to ask your feelings on your experience on going to the temple, without going into any detail.

How did the whole experience make you feel?

Did you understand anythig?

What helped to guide you in the days after your endowments?

Recently we had our first... as much as I would like to say that I loved it..

I did not, while i believe it is the house of the lord... I am left puzzled. I love the church,

I really really do. I've never been happier, but this experience has left me feeling

numb, confused and honestly a bit embarrased. A lot of people have said it was the

best day of their lives, was I not prepared well enough? I was excited... now I am

just confused.

While I understand that my view and feelings might be of the "world" hence the

weirded out part. I wanna feel happy again, I am numb, I am sad, I felt humiliated, silly.

While I get the message... I can't stop feeling like this. Any suggestions?

I feel like I need some type of intervention, but In my heart I love the church, I believe in our prophets and everything is so perfect until this.

You are not alone. My thought the first few years during it was "I can see why others call us a cult especially due to the temple, like ex-mormons who have been through it"... I can see it. Its bizarre at first. Some love it the ones who don't you just don't hear about because they keep their mouth shut (or go here :) ) so they don't get shunned by the others.

First its way weird but than you study it and study it and go and go and go you realize wow this is the most amazing normal thing (ok not quite normal) there is in the church. There is so much to learn and it teaches powerful truths.

My advice is to read a temple book about it. Also now that you have been through go through a bunch of more times until you start to memorize it. After that the greatest understanding will be opened.

I have a few references I can post later. I understood nothing. I have studied it hours and hours everyday for the past few years and understand a lot now but still don't understand that much ;).

Its all symbolic. Sure there are literal parts just like the scriptures have literal parts but the true meaning comes out when you learn the symbolism behind everything. than you will start to say, "ok this might be a weird way to do it, but it makes sense now".

Its ok to ask questions about it feel free to do so. Just don't reveal anything in a public setting like this too sacred and don't reveal the sign, tokens and name, etc.... Keep it generic.

Edited by ElectofGod
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It's weird. Let's just be honest. It's really different and outside the norm of what we're used to in the church. After we've been going for a year or more, we tend to forget that. About a year ago, I got to go to the temple with my brother and sister as they each received their own endowments. My sister had a really hard time with it. There's so much to take in on that first visit, and it really is just so foreign. She was -- for a day or two -- questioning whether to stay in the Church or not. About three days after she first received her endowment, she was able to go again. After that, she had no more problems. She told me later that she really feels that Satan didn't want her to go again, and if she had waited even a day longer, that she wouldn't have come back at all.

So yes, as others have said, go back as soon as you can! Do it again! Try to focus on the Spirit, instead of on the words and the process. Feel the spirit instead of focusing on the details and the minutiae. Once you feel comfortable in that regard, then pay attention to the specifics. Personally, I don't do endowments very often. I have a hard time staying awake, and I rarely feel especially uplifted by the end. I prefer to do washings and anointings. I personally feel that the most specific and personal blessings we receive in the temple are during those ordinances, and that's what I like to be reminded of. I also do sealings sometimes as well.

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I guess I would suggest that you return to the temple often, become familiar with the endowment presentation, and begin pondering on its meanings. Don't really have much else to offer in the way of insight or encouragement, certainly nothing that can be put on a public discussion list.

For what it's worth, my wife and I recently attended an endowment session the day after our 25th anniversary. It was the most emotional endowment session I had ever experienced. Truly beautiful. There's a lot to the endowment if you take the time and trouble to learn and listen. Take that testimony for whatever it's worth to you.

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Personally I don't see it as any more weird than the ritual of baptism, or the ritual of the sacrament, or the ritual we follow for blessing of the sick. It's just more complex, and every bit as symbolic.

As others have said the first time is overwhelming, there's a lot to take in. Ponder the experience, pray about it, study the scriptures, and go back as often as you can. Each time you learn something new.

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I see two things in the temple ceremony that might be bothering you....

The Temple is highly symbolic. And the Temple is highly ritualistic.

Neither of which is really all that common experience for a Latter-day Saint.

We do experience such in the Sacrament and in Baptisms. Because they are also highly symbolic and highly ritualistic.

The differences between those two and the temple is length (the temple is much longer), and how we learn the symbolism.

I'd bet that right now you could explain the symbolism of the Sacrament and the symbolism of Baptism. Because we have been taught it and we talk about it in church.

We don't learn the Temple symbolism (directly) at church. We learn the Temple symbolism by going to the Temple repeatedly.

This means that for the first time a person can be really out of their depth and have it be an experience that they were not expecting. If a person is expecting some kind of Sacrament Meeting and then they get a bunch of symbolism carried out in a ritual it will leave them out of sorts.

My advice generally is to at first put the overwhelming stuff aside and focus on feeling the spirit. Then as you return start pulling in what you can a bit at a time.

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I received my endowment in October. Absolutely one of the best days of my life.

I agree with the others who say that if you aren't used to ritual, it might be overwhelming and confusing. I didn't find it that way, but I can understand that some would.

And I echo the advice to keep going. The more you go, the more you will understand. And I especially endorse Applepansy's advice of doubting your doubts. Excellent advice. The adversary will do all he can to keep you from the temple.

Do initiatories, too. I think there are ways that could also help your concerns.

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I almost left the Church after my endowment - why didn't I? because I knew everything else I had been taught was correct, so there must have been something I missed.

Read all you can on gospel symbolism and go back, just experience it.

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To be perfectly blunt, a lot of the stuff we do in the temple is odd to modern people. It's really odd. Pieces of it were so odd and foreign that significant portions of it were removed a few decades ago because it people were struggling with it so much.

One thing you need to remember is that the endowment ceremony was developed in a very different cultural climate than what we live in now. It probably made a lot more sense to people in the 1850's. It's hard, but sometimes we need to remember that parts of the temple ceremonies are best understood in the context of when they were developed and not in the culture of the 21st century.

It's okay if you think it's odd. It's okay to feel a little uncomfortable with it. I was first endowed in 2000, I was a temple worker for a little over three years, and I'm still uncomfortable with various parts of the ceremonies. But I do believe that there are many important lessons and principles we can take from the ceremonies. There's no shame in needing to take a few trips to get acclimated to the temple.

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I think it's common to be a little confused after the temple endowment. You generally don't know what's going to happen, despite the Temple Prep class. I went to a friend's endowment two months ago, and he expressed similar feelings to me.

Coming from an "anti" background, I was more familiar with the endowment than others, so I knew what to expect. However, it was definitely a big difference experiencing it than just reading it.

I think it's helpful to read various resources that talk about the temple in an ancient context, and you'll see how much of it finds ancient precedent. Reading such things is definitely helpful. And you do have to go repeatedly so that you can at least be more familiar with the presentation of the Endowment.

The most important thing to think about as you attend the temple is to think about the endowment as symbolizing your own personal progression to the presence of God. That's really what the temple is all about: returning to God's presence. Reading about Adam and Eve, the Fall, the atonement, Revelation, etc are helpful.

Check out this website:

Mormon Monastery - Mormon Temple Information, Preparation and the Book of Mormon

This might be especially helpful:

Mormon Monastery » Mormon Temple Reading

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My first time was in the Cardston Alberta Temple back in 1979. There was no classes to attend, no endowed parents in the home or anyone to prepare me. I was active in Seminary the previous 4 years and had read the PoGP. How can you be prepared fully before hand? For me, it was the Bees Knees :D (for Eowyn).

Since then I have learned that attending church prepares us for the Temple and attending the Temple prepares us for the Eternities.

I have also noted that what we do in the Temple points us to Christ symbolicaly (with real heart/might/mind and strength applications) in what we see, do and say. It is a form of 'oblation' or a solemn offering. When we go we dedicate our time to focus our minds and hearts on the Savior in a physical, yet spiritual way that can be more benificial than staying home and reading the scriptures for the same amount of time. This is the difference between 'fasting and prayer' over just praying.

The most needed thing is 'attitude'. Even if a person doesn't view the ceremony as 'weird', if they go through the whole thing begrudgingly, it would have been better to stay home.

Perhaps prayer, or fasting and prayer before you return and a prayer in your heart as you worship in the Temple will, at some point, bring the blessings of understanding you seek.

:angel:

(sorry, I know smiley faces don't have real wings)

Edited by Magen_Avot
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I had a terrible first experience at the temple. My dad was not worthy to enter, I was shocked by the initiatory, and I, a member my entire life, left almost questioning the veracity of the church! But, I have been back and back and back again. It has become a for me a place of revelation, peace and joy, as I never thought it would.

David O. McKay also did not have a good first experience. He once said,

“Do you remember when you first went through the House of the Lord? I do. And I went out disappointed. Just a young man, out of college, anticipating great things when I went to the Temple. I was disappointed and grieved, and I have met hundreds of young men and young women since who had that experience. (Gregory Prince and Wm. Robert Wright. David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism (Salt Lake City: University of Utah Press, 2005): 277)

Yet the temple changed him and I decided one day it could change me. In some ways President McKay has been a guide for me. I have for many years gone to the temple trusting these profound words which he said at a Stake Presidents meeting centered around the building of the Los Angeles temple.

There are few, even Temple workers, who comprehend the full meaning and power of the Temple endowment. Seen for what it is, it is the step-by-step ascent into the Eternal Presence. If our young people could but glimpse it, it would be the most powerful spiritual motivation of their lives!”

Hang on to those words. It is the "step-by-step ascent into the Eternal Presence". I can imagine nothing more valuable. Now go, find out the way. Work on separating the symbol from the symbolized. Find out where you are at on the path. And realize that your worthiness unlocks the power of the endowment.
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Read this from Boyd Packer. It may help you understand more.

Preparing to Enter the Holy Temple

https://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1703cb7a29c20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=1bb45f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

------------------------------------------------------------

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Thanks to all, reading your responses has really helped me calm

Down a lot. I am no longer burdened by the thoughts, thank you all

It's weird. Let's just be honest. It's really different and outside the norm of what we're used to in the church. After we've been going for a year or more, we tend to forget that. About a year ago, I got to go to the temple with my brother and sister as they each received their own endowments. My sister had a really hard time with it. There's so much to take in on that first visit, and it really is just so foreign. She was -- for a day or two -- questioning whether to stay in the Church or not. About three days after she first received her endowment, she was able to go again. After that, she had no more problems. She told me later that she really feels that Satan didn't want her to go again, and if she had waited even a day longer, that she wouldn't have come back at all.

So yes, as others have said, go back as soon as you can! Do it again! Try to focus on the Spirit, instead of on the words and the process. Feel the spirit instead of focusing on the details and the minutiae. Once you feel comfortable in that regard, then pay attention to the specifics. Personally, I don't do endowments very often. I have a hard time staying awake, and I rarely feel especially uplifted by the end. I prefer to do washings and anointings. I personally feel that the most specific and personal blessings we receive in the temple are during those ordinances, and that's what I like to be reminded of. I also do sealings sometimes as well.

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Wow!!!thanks so much!!

I had a terrible first experience at the temple. My dad was not worthy to enter, I was shocked by the initiatory, and I, a member my entire life, left almost questioning the veracity of the church! But, I have been back and back and back again. It has become a for me a place of revelation, peace and joy, as I never thought it would.

David O. McKay also did not have a good first experience. He once said, Yet the temple changed him and I decided one day it could change me. In some ways President McKay has been a guide for me. I have for many years gone to the temple trusting these profound words which he said at a Stake Presidents meeting centered around the building of the Los Angeles temple. Hang on to those words. It is the "step-by-step ascent into the Eternal Presence". I can imagine nothing more valuable. Now go, find out the way. Work on separating the symbol from the symbolized. Find out where you are at on the path. And realize that your worthiness unlocks the power of the endowment.

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I was not disappointed in my endowment experience. Overwhelmed, yes, but not disappointed. There is a great deal presented, and in order to (using the vernacular) "unpack" it, you need to become familiar with the flow of the presentation and the symbols used. In my experience, that comes only from experiencing the endowment presentation many times. Eventually, as you understand the ordering of things and can predict the words, promises, and elements, your brain and your spirit can start playing with the symbols and you begin to make connections.

My older brother was a bit freaked out by the endowment. President McKay's testimony indicates that many (though not all) are mystified or disappointed by their endowment presentation. Don't let that be a hindrance, though. You just need to learn the language. Go back often and learn the language. You will be gald you did.

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I just wanted to ask your feelings on your experience on going to the temple, without going into any detail.

How did the whole experience make you feel?

Did you understand anythig?

What helped to guide you in the days after your endowments?

Recently we had our first... as much as I would like to say that I loved it..

I did not, while i believe it is the house of the lord... I am left puzzled. I love the church,

I really really do. I've never been happier, but this experience has left me feeling

numb, confused and honestly a bit embarrased. A lot of people have said it was the

best day of their lives, was I not prepared well enough? I was excited... now I am

just confused.

While I understand that my view and feelings might be of the "world" hence the

weirded out part. I wanna feel happy again, I am numb, I am sad, I felt humiliated, silly.

While I get the message... I can't stop feeling like this. Any suggestions?

I feel like I need some type of intervention, but In my heart I love the church, I believe in our prophets and everything is so perfect until this.

It is not uncommon for new visitors to the temple to have your experience; especially if they are newly converted members of the church of just a year or so. There is no need to feel bad and at the same time there are suggestions that will help you in your future visits.

First: I would suggest that you review and refresh yourselves with the material offered in the Temple Preparation class - this would be doubly important if you did not receive complete instruction before you initial visit. If there is no one teaching the temple prep class in your ward or branch you can access the manual online at the church official website (lds.org). From the home page go to the resources - then manuals - then Optional Courses for the Temple Preparation manual titled "Endowed from on High".

Second: Find someone in your ward or stake that is experienced with temple ordinances (preferably someone that officiates or works at the temple. Review with them your concerns and ask that they attend with you the next endowment session you will attend. Following your endowment session, when you arrive at the Celestial room reverently and quietly ask those questions that cannot be addressed outside the temple.

Third: If you are still uncomfortable call the temple that you visit and ask to schedule some time with a member of the temple presidency - explain that you are a new member and would like help in understanding temple worship. During the time scheduled, voice your concerns and your efforts to understand - then listen carefully to their response and instructions.

The Traveler

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Sourgirl...how are you feeling now? A lot of good comments....my 2 cents....

I took mine out at 20. I was scared to death. My RS Pres was my Escort. She was wonder! Her advice was perfect.

She said....don't worry about any of it. Feel the Spirit. Look to Christ. Just take in the beauty and relax....told me I had a lifetime to learn it all. Then she made me promise we would go back the next day...just to go through.

Never knew why until after day 2. The Spirit was strong. I knew it was right.

All was well.

Enjoy it!

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I feel much better, reading a lot about the church. I am still a bit terrified but after reading and seeing that it takes many times to geT familiar with it, I feel much more open to learn about it, I'm not sure I'm going to feel comfortable anytime soon but I think I'm open to giving it another try. I've been a lifetime member but it feels like I'm a convert because of all the new information.

Thanks for asking. Our sealing is in a few days.... I'm still scared though.. I may need to go again before the day.

Sourgirl...how are you feeling now? A lot of good comments....my 2 cents....

I took mine out at 20. I was scared to death. My RS Pres was my Escort. She was wonder! Her advice was perfect.

She said....don't worry about any of it. Feel the Spirit. Look to Christ. Just take in the beauty and relax....told me I had a lifetime to learn it all. Then she made me promise we would go back the next day...just to go through.

Never knew why until after day 2. The Spirit was strong. I knew it was right.

All was well.

Enjoy it!

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I feel much better, reading a lot about the church. I am still a bit terrified but after reading and seeing that it takes many times to geT familiar with it, I feel much more open to learn about it, I'm not sure I'm going to feel comfortable anytime soon but I think I'm open to giving it another try. I've been a lifetime member but it feels like I'm a convert because of all the new information.

Thanks for asking. Our sealing is in a few days.... I'm still scared though.. I may need to go again before the day.

You have not been sealed yet? That is what everything else leads up to. That is where it all comes together - That is by far the best and most important part.

The Traveler

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I was totally unprepared for the Temple when I went through for my own endowment. The Initiatory was particularly difficult for me. But, I had a testimony of the Gospel. I knew the Church was true. I was able to return on a regular basis, and I grew to love the Temple and the Spirit that I feel there. The Temple has strengthened my testimony.

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I only skimmed over most of the posts. Being older and gone to the temple many times, I have thought of my Sister in Law (three years now) that went to the temple when she was only 19. I don't think they go to the temple much. I'm pretty realistic in looking at things from the outside. So yes there are some things in the temple that do seem strange. But as I have gone back I find little things here and there, that might not really help me with my life or problems, but they do help me understand the Plan of Salvation and how Heavenly Father loves his Children.

For me understanding the temple has come from the following:

Wasn't it Pres Howard W. Hunter (maybe Pres. Benson) that said even in his old age that he was still learning things from the temple. The temple is made to be a place for continuous learning.

Probably not long after going to the temple I remember hearing this quote by Brigham Young.

As he dedicated the cornerstone of the Salt Lake Temple on April 6, 1853, President Brigham Young made this observation about the endowment:

“Your endowment is, to receive all those ordinances in the House of the Lord, which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, … and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell.” (in Journal of Discourses, 2:31.) Doing a google search for the quote lead me to this Conference talk https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/come-to-the-house-of-the-lord?lang=eng

On my mission I was on splits with another missionary. I remember us talking and he said he was taught before his Mission that Lehi's Dream was like the Endowment ceremony. I was like what ever! They are no where near the same thing. Pretty much every time I go to the temple I ponder what Lehi and Nephi saw...

Really we are talking about a Journey. In Lehi's dream we are talking about a Journey from Darkness to the tree of life (which is the love of God). The Endowment ceremony is also a Journey of leaving the fallen world behind. (mabye the two aren't as far apart as I first thought)

Every temple I have been to they have a beautiful Chandelier in the Celestial Room. I often wonder if what Nehi and Lehi saw was actually some type of Chandelier as the Tree of life (most Chandeliers have those hanging crystals that often look like hanging fruit). From now on with I see a Chandelier in the temple I think of the Tree of life!

If you go to the Link of Elder Haights talk, I had the video/audio playing in the background as I typed this all up.

He just said:

If you may have been somewhat confused, unclear, or concerned about your temple experience, I hope you will return again and again. When you return, come with an open, seeking, contrite heart, and allow the Spirit to teach you by revelation what the symbols can mean to you and the eternal realities which they represent.

Edited by tubaloth
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I just wanted to ask your feelings on your experience on going to the temple, without going into any detail.

How did the whole experience make you feel?

Did you understand anythig?

What helped to guide you in the days after your endowments?

Recently we had our first... as much as I would like to say that I loved it..

I did not, while i believe it is the house of the lord... I am left puzzled. I love the church,

I really really do. I've never been happier, but this experience has left me feeling

numb, confused and honestly a bit embarrased. A lot of people have said it was the

best day of their lives, was I not prepared well enough? I was excited... now I am

just confused.

While I understand that my view and feelings might be of the "world" hence the

weirded out part. I wanna feel happy again, I am numb, I am sad, I felt humiliated, silly.

While I get the message... I can't stop feeling like this. Any suggestions?

I feel like I need some type of intervention, but In my heart I love the church, I believe in our prophets and everything is so perfect until this.

Why do Catholics believe the Catholic Church is the one true Church, founded 2,000 years ago by Jesus Christ Himself?

The Catholic Church is the only church today that can claim to be the one church founded by Jesus Christ 2,000 years ago. Other denominations can trace their origins back to various human founders at a later date in history. (How old is your church?)

In Matthew 16:18, Jesus said to Peter, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the powers of death shall not prevail against it.” Jesus handed the authority to guide the Church in His name to Peter and the apostles, to be passed down through the centuries.

The Church is the body of Christ (Ephesians 5:23). Christ established only one Church—one body—so that there would not be multiple “bodies” with conflicting doctrines. After all, God cannot contradict Himself. Christ also wanted His Church to be visible, so all may see that the Church is indeed one, just as Christ and the Father are one (John 17:22 ).

This one, visible church, with divine authority and consistent doctrine that Christ established 2,000 years ago is the Catholic Church, the pillar and foundation of truth (1 Timothy 3:15). As Paul asks in 1 Corinthians, “Is Christ divided?” (1 Corinthians 1:13). No. That is not what the Christ intended. So, He established one Church.

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