How did I get here


horselers
 Share

Recommended Posts

I have gone to so many people for advice about my problems from good friends, to my family, to a counselor, and to the bishop and I am still struggling, so I thought I would post on this. I am a young man with a sexual addiction. It started with porn like so many people but it escalated to an awful degree. I live near Vegas and I went to a strip club, and a massage place and even started seeing escorts. Luckily I had enough control to never sleep with one, but it is still just a scary thought. I feel so ashamed about this whole thing. It is eating me up inside. I truly feel Godly sorrow for this and I am working on repentance. But it is really hard to deal with the social stigma of knowing I have done things worse than virtually everybody I know. I feel so ashamed of it all and I just don't know how to handle it.

Hi, I hope you feel better and find the strength to overcome your temptations!

There are many many people who struggle with sexual sins and temptations and though it might seem what you have done is worse than others. I'll tell you to be careful with that thought. Satan would have you feel alone and helpless Make you feel like you are worse human being than others and you are beyond the point of return. This is false.

You are a precious child of your Heavenly Father. He loves you! He has a way for you to be free! That way is in Jesus Christ.

My biggest recommendation, is to evaluate your time and actions a bit. Any activity, no matter its innocence, if its a distraction then you need to cut it out. Are you dependent on music? Do you need technology time? Do you need a soda every day?

Secondly, replace the wasted time with scripture study. The scriptures are full of promises to be healed and receive the Spirit though scripture study. My favorite Jacob 2:8. The word of God does heal. Do you really want healing? If you do, then you will study.

President Kimball(I think) used to say(paraphrase) something about people who would say "I really wish I could play the piano."(when no effort was given to practicing and learning to play) He would say no you don't want to play, if you did then you would practice, take lessons, develop yourself from basics until you could play complicated pieces, and so on. I paraphrased that last part badly, but the point is the same. If we want something we drive ourselves to get it. If you want healing, the way is in Christ, and He has given us the scriptures to give us His Spirit and His protection and strength.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The reason I said evaluate your time, it's because satan attacks constantly and when he has you in sin, it is much harder to resist. You can never be free from the sin UNTIL you let Christ take over and protect you. Then Satan has no power. In activities that you might view as menial, or not important, or trivial and satan has you, Then your defenses drop and satan can have at you more and steer you away into more dangerous activities. But if you cut down on these activities that put your mind in drone mode, or idle mode, or zombie mode, then he has much less opportunity to attack you and have success.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Get to an LDS Addiction Recovery meeting. There are a few in Vegas. (LDS Addiction Recovery Program Meeting Locator) You'll need to determine which location and date is best for you.

They can be scary to walk into. The fear of what's going to happen and who might recognize you can tempt you to stay away. Don't let it. It's more like a one hour testimony meeting than you's expect. No discussing details. Just a group of Brothers who also struggle with porn, and sexual addiction. Each one filled with Christlike love for each other and offering hope that everyone who walks through that door can find strength in the grace of God to overcome the temptations.

You'll hear phrases like "White Knuckling", meaning clinging to your own strength to not fall off the cliff, and "Dailies" meaning taking time every day to pray, read scriptures, write in a journal, and work on one of the infamous twelve steps.

The meeting itself is pretty simple. Everyone sits in a circle. A service missionary will welcome everyone and have people take turns reading from a 12 step book. (you can pass if you want) You won't start reading step one, unless you

re lucky. Meetings are weekly and they read one step each week. After reading, a fellow addict acting as a facilitator, will share some thoughts. Then everyone takes a turn (again, passing if they don't feel like it that day) and introduces themselves,by first name only, and shares thoughts on the step they read, or the step they're working on. Like I said, similar to a testimony meeting.

It's a little surprising, at first, how much it helps but, it does.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One thing that kind of worried me was when you said:

But it is really hard to deal with the social stigma of knowing I have done things worse than virtually everybody I know.

I've sinned before, but who cares that I may or may not have done something worse than my neighbor or my friend? You shouldn't have to compare yourself to other people, because it only makes you feel worse.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, occupy your time with worthwhile things such as reading the Scriptures. Make sure that you have no down time. There's a quote that says, "An idle mind is the Devil's workshop." And it's true. Keep yourself busy. Also, speak with your Bishop. They're there for a reason. Never feel ashamed to go talk with them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Horselers,

I had to cut my last post short. I was late for my own recovery meeting. I had a couple more thoughts.

One of the guys I meet with was way further down the rabbit hole that you appear to be. He was a snorting cocaine off a hooker's back kind of guy. I don't tell you that as an excuse to imply you are okay. Rather it's to help you see that anybody can recover.

The second thing is to make sure you know that going to meetings does not replace seeing the Bishop. He needs to know where you stand and decide what he might need to do to help you find the path back to full unity with the church. Ultimately, that's the goal. Get back on the strait and narrow. Don't beat yourself up thinking you've to go back to square one and start over. Just find the most direct route back and then stay on it. Your Bishop's job is to help you find the way back. I've ended up with three Bishops in the past five months. I've had to bring each up to speed with what I had done and where I'm at now. All of them were completely loving and supportive. The key is to be completely honest and repentant.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In my stake we have weekly addiction recovery meetings -- two, actually, because we're spread over a large area. Both are held at the meetinghouse in their respective areas because that's all we have for options. Every organization is strictly forbidden from scheduling any activities at the building on the evening of the meeting (if you look at our stake calendar, the entire evening from 5p on is blocked out), and we're reminded periodically that the only reason anyone should be at the church on those nights is for the meeting. One meets in the stake center; I'm friends with one of the service missionaries who was a facilitator for quite a while and he said that the stake presidency doesn't even conduct any business at the building on that night. That's how serious they take confidentiality. We've also talked about how effective these meetings are for many people. The people who come are there of their own volition and it can be a tremendous source of support and guidance as you work your way back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share