Could use some advice

[Jamundsen]

Hey there. I have been struggling for some time with a form of depression. It started while I was on my mission, I began to really belittle myself and find that all problems or issues that arose while in the work of the Lord I would attribute to myself. I blamed myself for everything. I just didn't feel normal. Eventually it went away about 2 months before returning home. After I returned home I worked as an EFY counselor and met a lovely girl with whom I discussed marriage. After 4 months she flatly told me she never really loved me, that we were more just like friends the whole time, and again I plunged into depression. This time I was medicated and visiting someone for it. I found myself extremely lazy and just sat around. My self asteem took a plunge. While I have been off and on medication, taking it and the deciding myself I shouldnt have to be dependent on it, things have gotten better. I recently got engaged to a wonderful girl, but now I'm worried Im dumping all of this baggage on her. She knows about it and is willing to go through it with me, but it just doesnt seem fair to her. I can't even understand my feelings. I don't feel overwhelming butterflies and excitement as I did for the previous girl, but I also don't feel like this is a terrible choice. I just don't know what to do about this depression. I guess my question is am I wrong to continue an engagement like this? Am I wrong to get married even though I don't feel overwhelming romantic feelings for this girl? I Do love her, and hate being away from her, but a lot of the chemestry just isnt there. What should I do? Thanks.

[Sali]

Have you prayed about it? Ask Heavenly Father to help clear your mind so you can listen to what He has to say on the matter. I hope you feel better soon. Depression is horrible and can really numb your feelings and spiritual promptings. I would just advise you to be very careful about making a big decision like this when you are in the middle of a depression. Listen to your Heavenly Father. :)

[Wordnerd]

Also talk to your doctor about the medication, you shouldn't go on and off of it without medical supervision, it can worsen your depression if you don't stop it properly. There are any different medications and dosages that can be tried so that you don't have debilitating side effects. I wouldn't make any major life choices while you are battling depression, get yourself well first.

[Martain]

Does God love those in previous dispensations more than those of the current one? Do we need revelation any less than they did? Where as the Lord blessed mankind with guidance via revelation then, has he stopped now?

We know God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. We know that the heavens are not silent and that God still speaks to mankind.

Does God love those in the current dispensations more than those of a previous one? Did they need medicine any less than we do?

If western medicine alone is the answer to today's illnesses, why would it then make sense to think that God would provide the means for us to receive healing but not them? Were all but us condemned to sickness death and despair upon becoming ill?

Alma 46:40 And there were some who died with fevers, which at some seasons of the year were very frequent in the land—but not so much so with fevers, because of the excellent qualities of the many plants and roots which God had prepared to remove the cause of diseases, to which men were subject by the nature of the climate—

Like you I have faced the foe called depression. Like you I saw significant improvement when I took myself off medication. Now while I hope you never have to experience the painful soul rending violations I've endured, lets be realistic here. Life isn't always pleasant and thing do occur which validly depress our spirits and our happiness.

While the events that so pained me were validly depressing, I recently was taught that there was additional physical components to my suffering as well. Although you'd never know it, my mother has dealt with SAD or seasonal depression for years and has kept depression away without medication via full spectrum lighting and vitamin D supplementation.

When I learned that I too face such I prayerfully pondered and researched full spectrum lighting and was lead to do the same.

When my mother shared a link regarding the anti-depressant qualities of tumeric I likewise read the link and prayerfully pondered what I found there.

In 2011 I was hospitalized for jaundice caused by gall stones. Though I opposed the professional counsel and refused to have my gall bladder removed I still underwent surgery to remove the stone that had left the gall bladder and had become stuck in the bile duct. Having successfully broken the remaining stones in my gall bladder through natural means (which the LDS doctor told me was impossible heh) I nevertheless sincerely do NOT want to endure such pain again. Lets just say I walked away with a much greater appreciation for the pain women endure during childbirth.

So perhaps you can see why when I learned that tumeric not only has anti-depressant properties but is also wonderful aid in sustaining gall bladder health I started seeing tumeric as a good fit for me for multiple reasons.

I put the matter to prayer and sought counsel whether the particular extract I was looking into was worth pursuing and received confirmation that yes purchasing and using the product would be a wise investment and an effective counter to additional bouts of gall stones and depression.

My prayers were answered and I now have a product that allows me better results than anti-depressants ever did without the side effects and without the price tag. While these things were the Lord's answer to my prayers, that does not mean they are the answer to yours. It also doesn't mean that they are not.

Outside of you being engaged and I sadly... not, we have much in common. The difference? Who we're seeing as our doctor =).

[Gwen]

Hey there. I have been struggling for some time with a form of depression. It started while I was on my mission, I began to really belittle myself and find that all problems or issues that arose while in the work of the Lord I would attribute to myself. I blamed myself for everything.

This is lesson I had to learn early on and unfortunately have to be reminded of a lot because I'm like you and tend to carry a lot of weight on my shoulders. Know which part is yours, learn to let go of the responsibility that isn't yours to carry.

The first experiance I had with this lesson was as YSA rep for the stake. I was planning my first conference (and first event in the calling) and everything was falling apart. I had done all I could do but still felt the blame and weight of all the things I couldn't control that was falling apart. Things went wrong with the meeting room, the speakers, the attendance, all of it was what I thought a huge failure. I would spend every moment of free time fixing a problem or hiding crying my eyes out so I would be able to keep it together in public. It was very traumatizing. lol (I can laugh about it now.) Finally got to the end of the conference testimony mtg and I was having a really hard time keeping it together, all the failures of the conf were running through my mind. Then a thought, almost a voice, came into my mind and it said "It's my conference, it's my money and I'll do what I want with it. I don't define success the same as you." That's when I started listening to the testimonies instead of being distraught in my own thoughts. It was a success in spiritual terms. The speakers that needed to speak spoke, even if I didn't plan them. The small group worked out in a way I could have never planned. Even the issues with the conference room worked out for good. I was too busy being depressed to see it, everyone else had a great time and was spiritually lifted. I lost sight of what my part was. Things never work when we try to control the Lord's part.

I love Michael McLean's song Which Part Is Mine, it's a good reminder of this.