Help with repenting


Daisy113
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I'm a girl, 18 years old. My first time masturbating I was in 8th grade. It has gradually gotten worse. but i had a boyfriend last year and we messed up and did things we shouldn't and broke up because we couldn't not do stuff when we were together. I repented of those things me and my ex did to the bishop. Also to add the bishop is my father. So once we broke up It was hard not to have urges to want to masturbate. I usually go a few weeks then the temptation arises again. I just want to change. I know I have to repent, but it's my dad I'm telling and how do I tell him I have a problem with masturbating? How would I say it? I know I need the guidance I'm just beyond scared to admit I'm a girl with a problem most girls don't have. I feel disgusted with my self that I've let it go so far. I just need help. So my question is how do I tell my bishop I have a problem with masturbating? What context would I use? Am I the only girl struggling with this?

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I wanted to comment on this. First, of course, you're not the only female to have ever experienced or struggled with this. Secondly, I can't directly relate but I had a classmate back in the day that was the daughter of the bishop and I remember she having the same kinds of concerns. I'm not sure I'd have the courage to talk to my dad acting as bishop about such things but I'd prefer talking to a YW leader (another female) period about this sort of stuff. Since the bishop is your dad, maybe you'd feel comfortable talking with your mother about it first? I realise she is not the Priesthood authority but mums are awesome confidantes outside of that, and can usually give some invaluable advice.

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I repented of those things me and my ex did to the bishop.

What did you two do to the Bishop? lol. (Sorry, it was just a funny statement to me.) :D

Also to add the bishop is my father. So once we broke up It was hard not to have urges to want to masturbate. I usually go a few weeks then the temptation arises again. I just want to change. I know I have to repent, but it's my dad I'm telling and how do I tell him I have a problem with masturbating? How would I say it?

You should have a new discussion with your father/bishop. Ask him when and where you should talk to him about things related to a "bishop's conversation" and when they are for your father.

My father never served as a Bishop, nor have I. However, I would think that your father wants to help his family along the path of repentance. And whatever is spoken about in the Bishop's office... stays in the Bishop's office... even and especially if it involves his own children.

I know I need the guidance I'm just beyond scared to admit I'm a girl with a problem most girls don't have.

Why are you assuming that you have a problem that 'most girls don't have'?

I feel disgusted with my self that I've let it go so far. I just need help. So my question is how do I tell my bishop I have a problem with masturbating? What context would I use? Am I the only girl struggling with this?

If after you speak to your father you are still uncomfortable, you may want to set an appointment with the Stake President.

The only context to use is to confess in the Bishop's or Stake President's office. Don't confess to your father while he's at home. That's not the place or the time for it. Confess that you have a problem and that you need help.

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I think this might be a case where the spirit over rides the letter of the law. This would not be an easy thing to speak to your own father about. Personally if I were in your situation, I would covenant between myself and the Lord to obey the law of chastity henceforth. I know most people would say that you need to confess this to a priesthood leader, but I don't always agree- well, not in this case. If you aren't strong enough to make it between you and the Lord, definately consider receiving your father's advice. I just don't think it is totally necessary just yet to do so.

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I hope I'm not speaking out of line, as an outsider to your religion, but I've struggled with this problem myself as a Catholic. And we've also got confession, so I completely sympathize with the awkwardness and fear you must be feeling, Daisy113.

An important thing to remember is not to get discouraged or to become impatient with yourself. Sexual sin usually isn't something you get over with a single act of contrition. In all but a few, rare cases, it's an uphill struggle we've all got to fight for our whole lives, and it isn't easy. The temptation to reduce ourselves and others to objects, and to let sensual pleasure crowd out all the other joys in life, is a mighty strong force to contend with.

I'm sorry to say, but you, and everyone else on this board, will probably fall into this sin you've mentioned at some point. What matters is that we repent, pick ourselves up, and keep going. So keep your chin up, because God loves you. :-)

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I hope I'm not speaking out of line, as an outsider to your religion, but I've struggled with this problem myself as a Catholic. And we've also got confession, so I completely sympathize with the awkwardness and fear you must be feeling, Daisy113.

An important thing to remember is not to get discouraged or to become impatient with yourself. Sexual sin usually isn't something you get over with a single act of contrition. In all but a few, rare cases, it's an uphill struggle we've all got to fight for our whole lives, and it isn't easy. The temptation to reduce ourselves and others to objects, and to let sensual pleasure crowd out all the other joys in life, is a mighty strong force to contend with.

I'm sorry to say, but you, and everyone else on this board, will probably fall into this sin you've mentioned at some point. What matters is that we repent, pick ourselves up, and keep going. So keep your chin up, because God loves you. :-)

Your comments were not out of line at all. In fact they fall completely in line with what we, as LDS, also believe.

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If you want online support with this issue I would recommend the Latter-Day Saint Addiction recovery program. Visit LDSAR.org - LDS Addiction Recovery through writing, blogging, and sharing

There are many people who struggle with controlling their bodies. One truth to never forget is do not ever give up. If you slip just get up and keep trying.

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Know that your future spouse can never live up to your imagined lover ( who or what you think about when you masturbate) even if you are imagining your future spouse when you do so. When you masturbate you get immediate feedback at to what feels good and what doesn't that your future spouse can only guess at

This desensitizes you and often leads to disappointment when you do finally marry.

Having said that, almost everyone has done it, whether once or many times. One reason you are on this planet is to learn to control your natural self, if you can not control this aspect of yourself then its time to ask for assistance from your Priesthood authority.

If you decide to talk to the Bishop (your father) I would call the Ward Exec Secretary and make an appointment to speak to him in his office and make it clear you are talking to him as your Bishop and not your father. Know that it will still probably be very weird for both of you.

Alternately you could speak with the Stake President explaining to him that since your Father is the Bishop you would prefer not to talk to him about a Chastity issue.

Edited by mnn727
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I think this might be a case where the spirit over rides the letter of the law. This would not be an easy thing to speak to your own father about. Personally if I were in your situation, I would covenant between myself and the Lord to obey the law of chastity henceforth. I know most people would say that you need to confess this to a priesthood leader, but I don't always agree- well, not in this case. If you aren't strong enough to make it between you and the Lord, definately consider receiving your father's advice. I just don't think it is totally necessary just yet to do so.

I am inclined to agree with missmollymormon, I think that masturbation can be a serious sin. However it is not something that needs to go to the bishop every time it happens. That said since you feel that you have a legitimate problem I think that a call to the bishop would be warranted.

Personally since your father is the bishop I would call the stake president to address this issue .

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