Somebody please explain seat saving in church?


Bananikka
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I grew up in the mission field, where "seat saving", whether it be for community parades or church, are unheard of. (And I'm very grateful). I spent many years living in Utah and being LDS myself I did enjoy being close to the church and its members. But one thing I will nber get used to (and my family members there agree) is the need that people feel there to "save seats".

Am I the only one who feels its only fair that whoever uses his or her elbow grease to get up, get showered, ready their children and make their way there has the right to sit where he or she would like to sit? Why do we see hundreds of blankets, lawnchairs jackets and towels trying to keep the people who've made an effort to arrive in time from finding a place? This practice is not friendly to say the least. My entire family has refused to go to any local parade for years because of this. This is cause to grumble, sigh, and feel that people are taking unfair advantage of their neighbors. (Truth be told there is nothing stopping anybody to pick up the tarps and blankets put them to the side and make themselves comfy there)

But it gets worse. I just asked my family who are still living in Utah whether or not hey we're going to attend Church today. No, I was told, we never go to stake conference any more because the people has started to go 4 hours early to save seats. ?!?!??

My older father who suffers chronic pain and given up attending stake conferences now because of this thoughtless competitive tradition. Could somebody please explain to me how this is seen as fair and acceptable in a land that I believe holds true and kind Christian people?

This behavior is unheard of elsewhere. And makes people feel excluded and unwelcome. We shouldn't be competing so desperately for seats anywhere let alone in our houses of worship that we arrive hours early to take an unfair advantage by spreading out jackets nd blankets, tking thoughtless advantage of the forgiveness and resignation of others who they're confident will put up with it, become discouraged and leave.

Please Utah, rethink this competitive practice. It is so hurtful to people around you. Do you not care how others feel when they make an effort to make it on time and even early, only to find a blanket spread across a pew while the pew saving family is relaxed T home taking their time with the peace of mind that they will have a pew regardless of how fair it will be to their brothers nd sisters?

Please somebody restore my faith in my fellow members of this church. I am so disappointed. I was aT a loss today as to how to encourage my family In Utah.

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It is not a Utah thing. It is a satanic idea in my opinion and can be very hurtful. We sat down once and were told that we were not allowed to sit in those seats. We had hoped to sit in softer seats because of our severe pain. Well that was not going to be. Now we sit in our soft recliners/bed and watch byutv in more comfort.

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this is done id asume all over the world. i think its wrong as well. once after not going to church for along time i came early enough to sit were i wnted back row last row in the pews no one was sitting there but the seats where taken. well they gave me the right excuse to just leave.so i did. it is wrong. i was told people do that if the come early for meetings to save seats for there families. @our stake conferance seats can only be saved 5min to the hr if seats r saved and still being saved u can take them. but again i dont think seats should be saved a all no one is more important then me nor am i more important then anyone alse.

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I grew up in the mission field, where "seat saving", whether it be for community parades or church, are unheard of. (And I'm very grateful). I spent many years living in Utah and being LDS myself I did enjoy being close to the church and its members. But one thing I will nber get used to (and my family members there agree) is the need that people feel there to "save seats".

Am I the only one who feels its only fair that whoever uses his or her elbow grease to get up, get showered, ready their children and make their way there has the right to sit where he or she would like to sit? Why do we see hundreds of blankets, lawnchairs jackets and towels trying to keep the people who've made an effort to arrive in time from finding a place? This practice is not friendly to say the least. My entire family has refused to go to any local parade for years because of this. This is cause to grumble, sigh, and feel that people are taking unfair advantage of their neighbors. (Truth be told there is nothing stopping anybody to pick up the tarps and blankets put them to the side and make themselves comfy there)

But it gets worse. I just asked my family who are still living in Utah whether or not hey we're going to attend Church today. No, I was told, we never go to stake conference any more because the people has started to go 4 hours early to save seats. ?!?!??

My older father who suffers chronic pain and given up attending stake conferences now because of this thoughtless competitive tradition. Could somebody please explain to me how this is seen as fair and acceptable in a land that I believe holds true and kind Christian people?

This behavior is unheard of elsewhere. And makes people feel excluded and unwelcome. We shouldn't be competing so desperately for seats anywhere let alone in our houses of worship that we arrive hours early to take an unfair advantage by spreading out jackets nd blankets, tking thoughtless advantage of the forgiveness and resignation of others who they're confident will put up with it, become discouraged and leave.

Please Utah, rethink this competitive practice. It is so hurtful to people around you. Do you not care how others feel when they make an effort to make it on time and even early, only to find a blanket spread across a pew while the pew saving family is relaxed T home taking their time with the peace of mind that they will have a pew regardless of how fair it will be to their brothers nd sisters?

Please somebody restore my faith in my fellow members of this church. I am so disappointed. I was aT a loss today as to how to encourage my family In Utah.

remember no one is perfect

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The problem I have isn't necessarily with seat saving as ppl ALWAYS sitting in the same seat to the point that they think it's theirs. Then when wards have combined activities it's hard to be the visitor because you "took someone's seat".

However, I have considered making seat jackets (is that what they are called, slip over the back of the chair?) reserving seats for my family. Not something to put out a week early but once we get there. My family has 7/8 (depending on if my step son is there) and an investigator friend almost every week. The longest row in our small branch only has 10 seats so if ppl sit just right it's impossible for my family to sit together. That frustrates me. I don't mind moving around but I'd like to be together. lol The whole family isn't already sitting when ppl come in usually due to callings and my kids like to be at the door greeting ppl.

I think if someone is saving seats for their immediate family they should have at least one person there all the time. I don't like to walk into an empty room full of stuff and not feel like there is a place to sit.

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I understand nobody is perfect and I certainly am not. I guess I'm confused as the why nobody sees how this comes across to other people. I don't think it's the message we want to send to people who are hoping to come and hear our Words. And to the person who said they left when hey saw nowhere to sit, I've done that myself. I felt awful. I felt unwanted and like an outsider. I went home and it took a lot to fight the urge to become bitter about it. :(. I do realize I could have spoken up about it and tried to be positive, but instead I let it get me down. I'm human too!

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Oh, and I forgot to mention, yes the tarps and lawn chairs are set up for the parades several days early. How do we even stand a chance to ever attend? It's a joke. And it makes the community look thoughtless and selfish. Sorry to be harsh! But it feels that way to me. :(

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Like a public parade is an exclusive affair. (Sigh) I understand in society things will happen that we don't like. I never said a word about this o anyone but my family until I heard it was going in in church as well. Anyway, thanks for the responses guys, I'm new here and am sorry my first post is a complaint!!

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The problem I have isn't necessarily with seat saving as ppl ALWAYS sitting in the same seat to the point that they think it's theirs.

We have that problem in my branch. One Sunday the missionaries and their investigators sat in the back row - it was so sunny to watch the family who normally sit there. They really didn't know how to cope.

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We had Elder D Todd Christofferson speaking at our Stake Conf a few weeks back.

Due to age and physical problems DW and I arrived 1.5 hours ahead of time to get a padded seat rather than the folding chairs in the overflow (and good thing we did as the chapel was nearly full already). People were saving seats not by sending someone there to sit and save, but they had come the night before and placed their scriptures and jackets on the pews.

We picked the (empty) pew we wanted and moved all the jackets and scriptures down to one end, and then sat in the middle of the pew so people wouldn't have to climb over us. About 5 minutes before the scheduled start time, after all the speakers were already on the stand, a couple of large families came in walked to the pew and found it full of people, they grabbed their stuff and walked off in a huff. Not sure if they sat on the folding chairs or left.

Arriving early we (and the others that had arrived early)had some time to fellowship others, and listen to the choir practicing and then the prelude music inviting the Spirit, preparing ourselves to hear an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ speak to us.

Just an aside, I know the people who tried saving the seats that way, they are in our Stake in a different Ward, there were no older or infirm people in their group, apparently they just didn't want to get up early or to sit in the chapel that long.

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My parents are guilty of the possessiveness over seats at church. That said, they show up 30 minutes early to claim them. While this might be an annoyance to some, they are more than happy to scoot over or even exchange benches for a family, couple or individual with certain disabilities -- they need only ask :)

We sit in the FAR FAR FAR back. Used to be the quickest escape route but now, we're just in the mix with all the other parents with unruly toddlers, hehe.

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Guest Doctrine

A few years ago elder Scott came to our stake confrence, I got up early to set up chairs for the meeting and then after I went to find a seat in the chapel, which I did since it was two hours until the meeting, so I sat there reading my scriptures, then about fifteen minutes later the stake clerk came out and started tapping off the pews for the family's of the stake leadership family's, and then he came to where I was sitting and asked if I could move back a few seat so he could tape off where I was sitting. I nicely said no thanks and went back to reading, he said how rude I was. I turned and said why am I being rude I am just sitting here reading and your telling me I have to move, look there is other seat you can tape off. He said if I don't move he will get the stake president, I said I am not trying to make trouble but I don't see why it is right for anyone to save seat for there family reguardless of you they are or what postion they hold in the church, iam just one person sitting here they are more then welcome to sit with me if they get to the meeting on time.

Then he left, and about 15 minutes later the stake president came over to me and once he saw that it was me he said hello and walked back to his office.

And then after that I never saw the seat get taped off again unless it was for investagators which I would have been more then happy to move for.

Now this story makes me look like a jerk but I was young then a very stubborn now today I would just move since iam to tired these days, lol

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Never heard of it in any stake I have lived in. But every Sunday families generally have staked out areas where they sit for Sacrament Meeting. We used to sit on about the 9th row on the right hand side. Then my mom got a calling, and we switched to the back row of the over flow area so she could slip out quickly and get ready for her class.

At Disneyland the employees (cast members) will remove unattended blankets for parades and shows. Locally in my town, people lay blankets and chairs out in the wee hours of the morning saving a space for the July 4th parade while they go to the pancake breakfast at the high school.

So it must be a western US thing, and not just a church thing.

But still, never heard of saving seats for Stake Conference.

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This all reminds me of when I was a student at BYU before the Marriott Center was build. The students would meet in the "field house" at the basketball arena for the forums and devotionals. Because of the lack of space students were forbidden to save seats - even though large blocks of seats were saved by the school for various reasons.

One semester I did not have a class before the time for forums and devotionals. I would go an hour early, spend the time studying and save two more seats for a couple of close buddies that were stuck in class. I thought it humorous that so often (because of the rules for not saving seats) that one person would walk up and often demand that I give up both seats to them so that they could have a place to sit with a friend that was not there yet - in essence so they could save the seats for their friend rather than me saving the seats for mine.

One very indignant young lady approached me and snidely quipped, "Are those seats saved?" "Of course," I said without looking up. "This is a religious institution - how could it be otherwise?"

Unfortunately the young lady did not have any sense of humor and huffed off, the more discussed with the snickering of everyone else that did have some sense of humor.

The Traveler

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I grew up in the mission field, where "seat saving", whether it be for community parades or church, are unheard of. (And I'm very grateful). I spent many years living in Utah and being LDS myself I did enjoy being close to the church and its members. But one thing I will nber get used to (and my family members there agree) is the need that people feel there to "save seats".

Am I the only one who feels its only fair that whoever uses his or her elbow grease to get up, get showered, ready their children and make their way there has the right to sit where he or she would like to sit? Why do we see hundreds of blankets, lawnchairs jackets and towels trying to keep the people who've made an effort to arrive in time from finding a place? This practice is not friendly to say the least. My entire family has refused to go to any local parade for years because of this. This is cause to grumble, sigh, and feel that people are taking unfair advantage of their neighbors. (Truth be told there is nothing stopping anybody to pick up the tarps and blankets put them to the side and make themselves comfy there)

But it gets worse. I just asked my family who are still living in Utah whether or not hey we're going to attend Church today. No, I was told, we never go to stake conference any more because the people has started to go 4 hours early to save seats. ?!?!??

My older father who suffers chronic pain and given up attending stake conferences now because of this thoughtless competitive tradition. Could somebody please explain to me how this is seen as fair and acceptable in a land that I believe holds true and kind Christian people?

This behavior is unheard of elsewhere. And makes people feel excluded and unwelcome. We shouldn't be competing so desperately for seats anywhere let alone in our houses of worship that we arrive hours early to take an unfair advantage by spreading out jackets nd blankets, tking thoughtless advantage of the forgiveness and resignation of others who they're confident will put up with it, become discouraged and leave.

Please Utah, rethink this competitive practice. It is so hurtful to people around you. Do you not care how others feel when they make an effort to make it on time and even early, only to find a blanket spread across a pew while the pew saving family is relaxed T home taking their time with the peace of mind that they will have a pew regardless of how fair it will be to their brothers nd sisters?

Please somebody restore my faith in my fellow members of this church. I am so disappointed. I was aT a loss today as to how to encourage my family In Utah.

I hope this helps - I have highlighted in read part of your post to which I would respond directly. Check with a member of your stake presidency or high counsel - Most stakes, especially in Utah are able to broadcast stake conference on the internet and can be obtained or received by special login or they tape stake conference and can provide a CD; both of which can be set up for use in you home or others that have physical difficulties in attending at the stake center.

The Traveler

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I've never heard of saving seats at Stake Conferences, Sacrament Meetings, nor Parades... I've lived in 4 different States.

In our ward, all of us seem to just go to the same spot we sat in last week. I'm the song leader, so I always sit in the very front row near the steps with my family because I don't want to leave my husband with the kids while I sit behind the pulpit. When I'm up there leading the song, I glance around the chapel and it's usually the same faces on the same spots every week.

There's more than enough room in our Stake Center for everybody. Yes, there are only a few padded seats compared to the number of attendees but I've never seen anybody reserving sections of seats with jackets/scriptures/what-have-you to get "choice spots". Usually, people arrive, put their stuff on the seat they chose and walk off talking to people. And that gets the seat reserved. First come, first choice.

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If you are willing to get there early and stay then have whatever seat you want. If having a seat is worth your time then it's yours.

As for city events the only time I've seen places "saved" more than an hr or so before by personally being there is when someone lives on the parade route. Sometimes ppl will tape off their property so ppl don't trample it or they will have friends invited to watch the parade from their home. But if you own the land I see it as your right. lol They are not allowed to block the public sidewalk in front of their home.

edit: Just remembered something kinda funny about saved seats in church. When I got to our branch 12 yrs ago it was an older branch with no children so there was no designated "mother's area". With my first pregnancy I requested a proper chair to nurse in. They didn't get us one until I weaned my 4th. When I had my 5th we had a sister with an illness and the only way she could come was to have that chair so I didn't get "my chair". By the time she was better I had weaned my little one and we had a family here for a short time that had a baby so that mom got the chair. Now that I'm expecting again we have an 80something yr old member of the branch presidency that can't stay the whole 3 hrs unless he sits in a proper chair. So now the "mother's chair" is in the chapel for him....... so I still don't get "my chair". lol

Edited by Gwen
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Well I guess it is a good thing no one on this forum (with the exception of me) ever attend the Christmas fireside - the President's birthday party or other such special events held at the Conference Center. Or decided the last minute to attend a general session of conference.

While I am at this - I will put a plug in for the weekly concerts that are held at Temple Square. I have yet to see all the seat taken; though often there are few seats available. And almost always the Church offers free parking for those attending.

The Traveler

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We had Elder D Todd Christofferson speaking at our Stake Conf a few weeks back.

Due to age and physical problems DW and I arrived 1.5 hours ahead of time to get a padded seat rather than the folding chairs in the overflow (and good thing we did as the chapel was nearly full already). People were saving seats not by sending someone there to sit and save, but they had come the night before and placed their scriptures and jackets on the pews.

We picked the (empty) pew we wanted and moved all the jackets and scriptures down to one end, and then sat in the middle of the pew so people wouldn't have to climb over us. About 5 minutes before the scheduled start time, after all the speakers were already on the stand, a couple of large families came in walked to the pew and found it full of people, they grabbed their stuff and walked off in a huff. Not sure if they sat on the folding chairs or left.

Arriving early we (and the others that had arrived early)had some time to fellowship others, and listen to the choir practicing and then the prelude music inviting the Spirit, preparing ourselves to hear an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ speak to us.

Just an aside, I know the people who tried saving the seats that way, they are in our Stake in a different Ward, there were no older or infirm people in their group, apparently they just didn't want to get up early or to sit in the chapel that long.

Thanks for sharing that ;)

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Well I guess it is a good thing no one on this forum (with the exception of me) ever attend the Christmas fireside - the President's birthday party or other such special events held at the Conference Center. Or decided the last minute to attend a general session of conference.

While I am at this - I will put a plug in for the weekly concerts that are held at Temple Square. I have yet to see all the seat taken; though often there are few seats available. And almost always the Church offers free parking for those attending.

The Traveler

What makes you think you are the only one on this forum that attends those things?

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