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hndmd

relationship issues

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I guess I've never really had a healthy, righteous relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Ever since I moved away for college things have gone even further downhill. (I don't mean to encourage anyone to be like me because I have not been good/happy.. so I hope bringing up this subject isn't against the rules. if it is, srry!)

Sinning over the last year has been a slippery slope. I'm worried because I've developed an indifferent attitude. I've met with my bishop in the YSA ward. I do love the church and believe in it. I just don't know if I have or can get the will to change.

I'll be completely honest- I like getting attention. My issues are in not keeping the word of wisdom or the law of chastity. The thing is, I know I can't go on like this forever. I don't know how to end friendships that aren't the best to keep. Also I got depressed when I had the morning after pill in a way.. Like I know it is not a good idea to have a child in my situation, but I still felt sad for some reason.

How do I get the will to change?

How do I break off friendships?

Any suggestions?

Thanks!!!

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The will to change results from a personal desire within your heart. If you do not desire "change," change will not be forced upon you; however, at times it is better to humble ourselves and desire to change, or we may at times be compelled.

Breaking off friendships, especially relationships that have extended beyond the bounds the Lord has set will never be easy. There is no easy way. You simply make the choice, stick by your choice, and do not allow the other individual to persuade you otherwise. If the other individual gets upset -- do not let it sway you.

The best way however is to be open and honest. This does not mean the other party will like it and will not be angry. We do what is right and let the consequence follow.

The indifferent attitude you describe is what scripture defines as being "past feeling." Again, until you desire change, and recognize the decisions you have made as bad (denying your eternal progression and possibility), you won't feel a thing.

Your excuse, "I like attention," inhibits your ability to recognize the consequences of your decisions.

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You want to change enough to bring it up on this forum, regardless of what people will think. Anonymity grants you some leverage, but you already know what you need to do and the suggestions that are offered here will only confirm what you already know.

My ex loves attention too, enough that she kept myself and another guy at the same time in mind for four years, while she flirted with guys she met. She is a sun beam of attraction, but leaves charred and salted fields in her wake. The irony is that people view me, as being the problem, as I am honest about my life, where she avoids anything that creates anxiety within her, aka the truth.

My point is, that if you really want to change, you need to think about how your actions affect other people. Family, friends and yourself. You also need to forgive yourself, by recognizing all of your feelings, because as bad as you make it sound, I know you can be that person that you want to be.

Always be honest in your relations, always. Do not presume to appeal to what you think they want to hear, but tell them how it is.

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Focus on developing your relationship with God first. Don't worry about any other relationship right now. As long as you are not right, no relationship will turn out well. Just work on developing a healthy relationship with God. Once that is in place, then healthy relationships with others will come naturally.

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I guess I've never really had a healthy, righteous relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Ever since I moved away for college things have gone even further downhill. (I don't mean to encourage anyone to be like me because I have not been good/happy.. so I hope bringing up this subject isn't against the rules. if it is, srry!)

Sinning over the last year has been a slippery slope. I'm worried because I've developed an indifferent attitude. I've met with my bishop in the YSA ward. I do love the church and believe in it. I just don't know if I have or can get the will to change.

I'll be completely honest- I like getting attention. My issues are in not keeping the word of wisdom or the law of chastity. The thing is, I know I can't go on like this forever. I don't know how to end friendships that aren't the best to keep. Also I got depressed when I had the morning after pill in a way.. Like I know it is not a good idea to have a child in my situation, but I still felt sad for some reason.

How do I get the will to change?

How do I break off friendships?

Any suggestions?

Thanks!!!

I'm guessing you're a woman because of the "morning after pill" comment. I am too and I can relate to a lot of what you've shared.

My advice is to cut things off with these young men cold turkey. Since you cannot change them (obviously they're not honourable young men) and can only change yourself (you said that you want to change) -- you need to re-associate with better standards and better company. Start with ditching those influences in your life that pull you away from the Lord. If you have these young men on your cell phone, delete their contact information so you're not tempted to call them up, and if they call you up -- ignore their call. Have a mental list in your head of things to avoid when planning to interact with the opposite gender, such as, participate in activities in public venues. Tell yourself that you're worth more and won't settle for cheap thrills. Tell yourself that you're a daughter of Heavenly Father and deserve to be treated as He would treat you. Lastly, you're not alone -- no one is ever alone -- the Lord is your life line, use it wherever and whenever.

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