Just seems weird (I got a Q too)


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A girl friend of mine apparently added my ex-husband to her Facebook. I ran across a post of hers, dated early July, that he liked. Not sure how long they've been in contact but he had sent me a friend request some time ago and I blocked him. If I can see his interactions on her wall, can he also see mine? I'm not going to ask her to unfriend him or anything but they weren't even friends when I was married to him. I think they were introduced once.. Just seems weird but I guess these days people add anyone, even if they've only met once, or never met before.

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When you reply to a post on a friend's wall, your reply inherits the security settings that were set on the post when it was made. So, if a wall post is world-viewable (the "Public" setting), your reply becomes world-viewable. Same thing goes with "Friends only," only it's the friends of the poster, not the replier. You can view a post's security settings by clicking the icon that appears to the right of "Posted X hours ago near Y" near the top of a post. As far as I know, there are no options to set per-reply security settings.

EDIT: as jerome mentioned, blocks are an exception to this rule, although (as far as I'm aware) people you block can still see what you post on Public spaces or posts.

Edited by LittleWyvern
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I am "friends" with my stepson's grandmother (mother's side). I really don't like her but for various reasons it was the only way to have any idea what was going on with my stepson for nearly 2 yrs. It was a very very hard decision. There are still days I wonder if it's been worth it. lol

I assume anything she comments, likes, etc of mine everyone on her friend list can see, including the ex. I know the ex has us blocked and I can see things she likes (though her name is black instead of blue with a link to her page) but I don't know if it's blocking comments or not (I've not noticed any but I don't go looking for them).

Anything you post on fb assume it can/will be seen some way, some how. Having mutual "friends" with ppl you have tried to keep a distance from is hard but it's something with fb you just have to get used to. I am friends with my ex sil. I also have several friends that I was just friends with the wife until the divorce and then the husband sent me a separate request (we were friends just kept in touch with family life through the wife).

The only real secrets left today are the ones you never let out of your mouth or past your fingertips. lol

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Rather than try to figure out who can see what when and how, I just assume that every time I click on a keyboard, facebook or not, three groups of people have access to what I just typed:

- Everybody I know, or used to know, or will ever know.

- My worst enemy

- The security department at my work (and any future place of employment)

It's so much easier to figure out what to say and not say, when you just assume this to be true.

You want a private conversation with someone? Don't do it electronically.

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I've never posted anything on Facebook that might come back and bite me in the butt. It's more of just wanting to be completely invisible to him. I don't believe he's looking for me, nor have I searched him, I just want to remain non-existent. But very true, potentially, anything electronically posted can be viewed by anyone.

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I'm not exactly a fan of social media, and don't use it, but in general you should assume that anything you post anywhere online can be read by anyone. In this case, given the security settings described for facebook, all it would take is for someone to quote your reply in a reply of their own, and suddenly it's readable to people you didn't intend.

If you must reply to her, do so via personal email or other private communication method.

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