Question For Converts


M_T_E
 Share

Recommended Posts

I know that in all faiths, we all face challenges at some point in time. I have read somewhere that those who are raised in the church do not face as many challenges as those who converted and changed their lifestyle to abide by the WoW.

For those of you who are converts, what was your biggest challenge in converting?

And I guess I should ask for those who were raised in the church, what was the biggest challenge for you as well?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was raised in the church. Those that have been don't automatically have a testimony of the truthfullness. We still have to seek it and pray about it and gain one. Somewhat like converts do. Maybe not the same process but it is a process nonetheless.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My biggest challenges:

- giving up coffee

- understanding all the weird naming conventions (brother /sister / elder /etc)

- fitting into a sociable place when I am not sociable

- getting to know the customs, I didn't know that singlet tops and pants weren't acceptable attire. No one told me, or if they did it hadn't sunk in. I need fairly direct instruction on things and there were a few too many "pray about it" responses.

- as a new member there was huge focus on the gospel and not enough on how to live it.

- Feeling like an outsider - for a long time

If someone had given me a Young Women's manual alongside the Book of Mormon my transition would have been much less painful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why is the law of chastity a red flag?

And what does he mean by red flag? The context kinda suggest it's his personal struggle to either live or accept (given the thread and that it is in scare quotes) but it's usually applied, in my experience, to things you feel are indicative of something negative.

Edited by Dravin
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have thought about this. I am starting to think the trials for being born IN the church is greater. I mean its all relative. Where does one grow up? What type of family? The challenges won't be greater for anyone because they were in or out of the church. They just may be different sometimes.

I found those born in the church, take it for granted, can't separate traditions of men with the gospel of Christ, those who are converts have a greater appreciation for other faiths who some members (not all) like to shun, able to see things as they really are.

But there really isn't one story fit all. These things relate to all faiths, in all places. You grow up the only mormon and get shunned by the community or you grow up a nonmember and have a difficulty of truly finding Christ if not born in a Christian home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If someone had given me a Young Women's manual alongside the Book of Mormon my transition would have been much less painful.

I remember teaching a family on my mission, and things were going well, but they were confused on a lot of the doctrinal things. Giving them a copy of Gospel Principals led them to say, "Wow, this totally makes it easy to understand." I think we forget there are a lot of great resources that new members don't know about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

listening to talk after talk about how wonderful families are, and isn't it wonderful to be sealed eternally etc. etc. ... and not being sealed to a single person, feeling very alone, and disconnected. ... now I'm sealed in the temple to my hubbie and kids, and do temple work for the rest, but for awhile, listening to any talk that had anything to do with a family was very painful.

I will be glad that is one problem I shant face, being very used to solitude, (that's a pro though certainly not for everyone)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I came from a Baptist/C&MA background, with a year and a half spent at one of the most conservative colleges in the US.

One of the hardest things for me studying in the church was having friends(some that i considered good friends) tell me that if I joined the church, they would have nothing to do with me. And....they were true to their word. There are girls(and guys) I know that I haven't spoken to in four years--who've deleted me on Facebook, and when they talk to others about me tell them that they pray I will come to my senses.

The other issue i think was the terminology. A lot of words are used the same, but they have different meanings. I'm actually getting a lot sorted out in my head now working with my friends who are taking the discussions. When I was, I have a really hard time asking questions, so I didn't learn as much as i could have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My biggest challenges:

I need fairly direct instruction on things and there were a few too many "pray about it" responses.

- as a new member there was huge focus on the gospel and not enough on how to live it.

- Feeling like an outsider - for a long time

If someone had given me a Young Women's manual alongside the Book of Mormon my transition would have been much less painful.

I’ve been a member all my life, and there are several different things said in the past, and in the present, that makes me confused, and frustrated, when hearing someone give a talk about what we should, or shouldn’t do, for an example, drinking, soda (or anything else) with caffeine, I keep being told that it is not a sin to drink it, yet, missionaries are required to abstain from caffeinated drinks, and I know that tobacco was a suggestion, before it became a commandment, so making me wonder, is this similar? Is this something that is a suggestion, before it becomes a commandment, so we can wean ourselves off it, so we won’t break a commandment, when it does become a commandment? Or is it something that even though it will never become a commandment, it is still something that I should come to the conclusion, on my own, that it is something that I don’t want to do?

I also have questions about the Word of Wisdom, as to what should we abstain from, in the Doctrine of Covenants 89 it lists what we should, and shouldn’t eat, and drink, but these verses have always stumped me:

10 And again, verily I say unto you, all wholesome aherbs God hath ordained for the constitution, nature, and use of man—

11 Every herb in the season thereof, and every fruit in the season thereof; all these to be used with aprudence and bthanksgiving.

12 Yea, aflesh also of bbeasts and of the fowls of the air, I, the Lord, have ordained for the use of man with thanksgiving; nevertheless they are to be used csparingly;

13 And it is pleasing unto me that they should not be aused, only in times of winter, or of cold, or bfamine.

14 All agrain is ordained for the use of man and of beasts, to be the staff of life, not only for man but for the beasts of the field, and the fowls of heaven, and all wild animals that run or creep on the earth;

15 And athese hath God made for the use of man only in times of famine and excess of hunger.

16 All grain is good for the afood of man; as also the bfruit of the vine; that which yieldeth fruit, whether in the ground or above the ground—

17 Nevertheless, wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse, and rye for the fowls and for swine, and for all beasts of the field, and barley for all useful animals, and for mild drinks, as also other grain.

When has there ever been a talk at General Conference, talking about the Word of Wisdom, talk about wheat, or anything outside of not to use tobacco, drink tea, or beer? If there is a talk, is a lone talk, or are there several talks, because as they say, ‘In the mouth of two or three witnesses…’

How much of Doctrine and Covenants 89 is based on the time, and technology of 1833, and how much of it is timeless, and is doctrine?

These are a few of my questions about the Church, doctrine, and how I should live, questions that, unless there is a direct commandment to do, or not, something, there are a lot of “pray for the answer,” responses, which I need to ask back, “How do I pray about something that I didn’t know I was supposed to know I needed to pray in the first place?”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Otherwise known as an A-shirt in the States: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeveless_shirt#A-shirt

I have never heard of an 'A shirt.' 'Wife beater,' yes. Or tank top.

Giving up black tea was hard and I still have to refrain myself from picking up an ice tea that's not herbal. The other stuff like drinking and coffee weren't issues. And since I can still wear makeup and listen to rock, it's all good. I live near a large community of Amish and Mennonites- I could be looking a lot different.

Well one problem - we had a heat wave and my AC went out...the garments were kinda hot...:lol:

Unlike a lot of born Mormons, I don't get crazy when I hear something that shows the leaders weren't perfect. Since none of us are perfect, I can live with the faults of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. I can live with the 'hiccups' of the Church in its early years.

I have been very happy to be LDS. I am trying to live so that the people around me are happy that I am LDS as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't realize that there would be so many replies to my question!

From what I gather I have been fortunate to have gained a strong testimony relatively quickly, or well... I have been told my testimony is very strong. I was also very lucky to have had such great missionaries over the past seven or eight months to help me learn more, as well as having found this forum which has been a wealth of information for me.

My biggest challenge would be chastity if i did decide that I wanted to be baptized, I have been dating my girlfriend for officially over a year, unofficially three... We were on and off for awhile before we became actually stable and marriage is not something I wish to pursue at this time because well... the manner in which I was raised basically taught me to never marry until you can support yourself and your family completely. Having a daughter with an ex girlfriend and basically adopting my girlfriends daughter as my own puts a challenge on me and my two jobs do not suffice currently.

Beyond that, I already live a lifestyle that is somewhat similar to the WoW, no smoking or drugs obviously. I rarely touch alcohol, only have had two drinks this year at this time. I think tea and coffee are two of the most disgusting things in the world that I have tasted haha.

From what I gather in this thread, being raised in the church and being a convert both pose unique challenges on their own. Although obviously nobody is the same, so it all varies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the great events of my life happened as a high school youth. I had traveled to southern California with a group of friends to scuba dive off the California Cost near Long Beach. This trip was indeed the crucible from which more than one event would burn into my soul and change forever my outlooks on life – both political and religiously.

One event occurred when we returned from being some distance out and diving to a depth of about 80 feet. We were all very tired and reached the shore exhausted. Shortly after we reached the shore and resting we witnessed an event that would be broadcasted around the word beginning with the national news. We saw in real time the whole episode unfold and were first hand witnesses of all of the events from the very start to the conclusion. That evening we watched as the incident was made public on the national news. But there was a problem. The reports were completely wrong and misleading pointing to a conclusion of the events that was false. We called the news service that had no interest in what we had witnessed firsthand.

When we returned home we told everyone we could find how the news services got the story wrong. But hardly anyone – even among our trusted friends; believe us – because the “official” news reported it differently. This changed forever my personal trust in so-called official reliable sources. I learned that just because a lot of intelligent and informed people believe something does not make it right and true. I learned that if we are not willing to carefully investigate for ourselves – we are easy prey for those that intend to twist “facts” to create their own desired truth. I learned that even your closest friends will fall to popular notions when it suits them and conforms to their expectations. I learned that at times the truth follows along very lonely paths.

My life long journey has taken places I never would have otherwise considered except that the path to truth took me there. I have learned that just because a prophet of G-d has spoken and warned of a principle that I must find my own understanding and reconcile what I have discovered of it before G-d. This I believe to be as important in understanding the ancient prophets as they have written their witness in scripture or from modern prophets as they have testified from the pulpits of our meeting places.

The Traveler

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As someone who grew up in the Church, the most difficult thing for me was being able to uphold my standards without being a social reject. Being "in the world, but not of the world". I was already awkward enough as a kid, so adding that I was LDS on top of that seemed to make me a target. However, those challenges were most prevalent as I was a teenager.

I served a mission and watched converts struggle to give up things that had always been part of their lives that by the worlds standards are totally good. Coffee, sweet tea, shopping on Sunday. All those things are harmless by those outside of the Church. So once a convert joins the Church, they have to rewire their entire mentality to those things in addition to dealing with the pressure and lack of understanding from their family and friends. Before they became a convert, those things were a regular part of their day and interactions, and then all of the sudden they join a Church and "act differently". Sometimes family gets defensive because they feel like they're being judged for something that never used to be wrong. I totally understand how difficult that is to have to stand up for something that at one point, wasn't even an issue.

So I guess it's all relative. Were my struggles as a youth as difficult as an established adult who converted later? I can't say. Each person has tailor made trials given to them, so maybe each individual's trials weren't really meant to be compared.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My biggest challenge? Learning the language. We LDS have a language of our own and if you've not been exposed to it, it can leave you wondering.

Coffee and Tea? no problem, never could stand either, but even now 20+ years later I do still miss a glass of wine with a meal at times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know that in all faiths, we all face challenges at some point in time. I have read somewhere that those who are raised in the church do not face as many challenges as those who converted and changed their lifestyle to abide by the WoW.

For those of you who are converts, what was your biggest challenge in converting?

And I guess I should ask for those who were raised in the church, what was the biggest challenge for you as well?

In no particular order

Camisoles & sex/masturbation & people & ward meeting times.

If I'm Catholic... I can go to any mass I so choose. But if I have to be at work during my ward's meeting time ... I have to miss a whole YEAR of sacraments until the time changes again! It's highly frustrating. Especially as a single female. Perhaps more so as a single mom... Because my child misses a whole year of sacraments as well. Which is a reeeally long time in the life of a child. It's actually beyond frustrating, it's infuriating. But there's nothing to be done.

The people aspect ties into the above... When it was just me... It was just me. But with groups follow times/lives/etc. Having others who believe as I believe, act as I act, etc is a huge blessing, but it's also logistically difficult and a MAJOR culture shock.

I'm wondering if missionaries ever get anything BUT a "Beg pardon?!?" regarding the law of chastity's finer details. LOL. Oy. Poor guys. I remember at one point giving them the option that either cigarettes or MB were on the table, but not both. Going from daily sex with my husband for over a decade to nothing, zip, nada post divorce? Um. Cha. No bueno.

Tank tops probably don't seem like a big deal... But they are. I live in them. All my dresses are sleeveless. To this day. I'm Scandinavian, and finding a dress at fits to begin with starts in the $100 range and slopes upwards dramatically. There are probably only 5-6 dresses per YEAR on the market that fit me. So not only is there a sensory component, but an availability and price issue. When I was first divorced I lived without water for 5 months, and no power for 2 months. There was no way I could choose to buy a dress with sleeves instead of paying my utility bills (my ex left us thousands in the hole, and I had been a SAHM). So I wore coats in 100 degree weather. Not fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My biggest challenge, even after 25 years in the church, is dealing with people. I'm naturally a bit reserved and socially awkward and rarely know the right thing to say. I love the people but I just find it hard to interact with other adults without getting nervous and flustered.

Oh, and giving up tea with milk and sugar - it was the way my grandmother and I used to bond and chat - always over a 'nice cuppa' and some 'bickies' (biscuits - cookies).

Edited by lagarthaaz
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share