Should I go talk to the bishop!? I'm struggling


Beaubracken
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I'm doing this cause I absolutely have no one else to talk to!! I just got home from a mission about 6 months ago! I was so excited and happy for the wonderful mission I had served and to be back and start a wonderful life! Instantly I started to have serious problems with anxiety and depression!! So bad I was almost hospitalized!! It crippled me!! During this time I got a girlfriend who is amazing! She is a member of the church! She had some struggles in the passed and was married but got a divorce and has a child!! So she had already been sexually active. As we started dating everything was fine but my anxiety got worse and worse!! And with that the only thing that brought me joy was being with my girlfriend so we got very close and in an effort to feel some happiness cause I was having such a horrible time I messed up with the law of chastity!! So we started to do everything but intercourse! And now as time has gone on my anxiety and depression has died down but I still mess up once in a wile pretty bad with this girl and I feel horrible! I beat myself up every day and I don't take the sacrament on Sundays and I feel like the worst person in the world!! My dad asked me to give my little sister a blessing and I couldn't cause I knew I wasn't worthy to do it!! I hate myself for it! But it was the only thing that brought me spite joy when I was in hell! My anxiety was so bad I couldn't even pray!! Now I am scared to talk to a bishop and I'm wondering if I just stop and repent and help my girlfriend too that we can be happy and just forget about it!! Please help if you have any suggestions! thanks

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I am already taking care of the anxiety issues!! But I am so scared of seeing the bishop it's not even funny!! Like I don't feel good when I think about it I feel horrible!! My bishop and me don't really connect well and I feel like he is going to have a really bad punishment for me and it's not fair cause I have already suffered so much with everything else having more punishment will just put me farther down and farther away! :( I'm scared! Please try to understand! :) thanks for the advice!

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Being 'scared' or in other words, feeling much anxiety of the unknown, is often part of owning up to your mistakes and starting anew. What you're feeling is pretty normal after falling to temptation, as it's a combination of emotions, like embarrassment and shame. Gear yourself up for speaking with your bishop by praying earnestly for courage and confidence to do it. Best of luck.

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