Sign in to follow this  
Backroads

Is this trend just in my area?

Recommended Posts

I've noticed this behavior increasing probably since high school and have had discussions with others noticing it.

Young men, who as far as I can tell and they express are perfectly straight, are becoming a lot more touchy feelly... with each other. Now I don't condemn appropriate physical affection between men, but what I worriedly observe is teenage boys pretty much rubbing up on each other.

When asked about it, they laugh and put it under the label of physical affection of the modern man.

Myself and others can't help but think it's a way to get some "excitement" while still staying within the technical bounds of the law of chastity. A loophole.

Thoughts? Anyone else seen anything like this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Taking into account physical difference would the same physical touch make you think that teenaged girls are doing it to get 'excitement'? It's hard to picture just what contact it is you are trying to describe, rubbing up on each other is rather vague. Assuming, since it isn't mentioned, evidence of excitement is absent, why are you assuming excitement?

Edited by Dravin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a house full of my teens and stragglers (their friends) and I have not seen this kind of thing. They at times mimic homosexual speech to each other joking around but I don't see them do anything physical.

But my kids are more into music, surfing, skating and gaming. I think you find allot more physical joking around among boys who are into sports. I have seen some inappropriate physical joking amongst jock types.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Taking into account physical difference would the same physical touch make you think that teenaged girls are doing it to get 'excitement'? It's hard to picture just what contact it is you are trying to describe, rubbing up on each other is rather vague. Assuming, since it isn't mentioned, evidence of excitement is absent, why are you assuming excitement?

In a few cases I've observed... pretty much intimacy with clothes on. Tight embracing, snuggling, pressing and rubbing of the genitals to each other.

I've never seen girls doing this extremity of behavior, but yes, I would apply the same worry to girls.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Taking into account physical difference would the same physical touch make you think that teenaged girls are doing it to get 'excitement'? It's hard to picture just what contact it is you are trying to describe, rubbing up on each other is rather vague. Assuming, since it isn't mentioned, evidence of excitement is absent, why are you assuming excitement?

She's said YM. :) I think I know what you're talking about. Playfully/jokingly rubbing up on each other or even mimicking sex acts. I've seen it, though I don't know if I have among LDS guys so much. I'm not sure what to think about it. Teenagers are weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She's said YM. :) I think I know what you're talking about. Playfully/jokingly rubbing up on each other or even mimicking sex acts. I've seen it, though I don't know if I have among LDS guys so much. I'm not sure what to think about it. Teenagers are weird.

Yeah, they are weird. In further response to Dravin, I don't observe much in the way of sexual excitement, admittedly. But I can't help but wonder why such extreme behavior?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

These 2 things are possible:

- Lack of boundaries set by adults.

- They know the boundaries but they're trying to push it as teen-age rebellion is wont to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She's said YM.

Yep, which is why I asked what her thoughts would be if she observed it in young women. Basically trying to get a feel for if the contact was the issue or if it was contact + young men that was the issue.

In a few cases I've observed... pretty much intimacy with clothes on. Tight embracing, snuggling, pressing and rubbing of the genitals to each other.

I don't see any issue per se with tight embraces or snuggling (conceptually, some guy trying to snuggle with me would make me uncomfortable). The others I can see issue with, though if they are doing it for excitement is still kinda up in the air. I knew young men who were in the habit of grabbing each other's crotch and squeezing until the other cried uncle. They weren't doing it to get excited it was just a really inappropriate take on more standard "cause you pain until you capitulate as a weird test of machismo" games you see.

But I can't help but wonder why such extreme behavior?

I'm with Anatess on this one.

Edited by Dravin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember for our manly tests of strength (I was around ten) we'd tear chunks out of pop cans with our teeth.

I never had any "boundaries" talk (well obviously don't touch someone if they don't want you to)

and though there wasn't any law of chastity in my house I don't grab other people's neither regions and stuff... sure I was far from perfect but... people around me did a lot more

I am choosy who I hug (mostly girls)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In a few cases I've observed... pretty much intimacy with clothes on. Tight embracing, snuggling, pressing and rubbing of the genitals to each other.

I've never seen girls doing this extremity of behavior, but yes, I would apply the same worry to girls.

Where in the heck do you hang out? I want to make sure I don't go there. :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Young men, who as far as I can tell and they express are perfectly straight, are becoming a lot more touchy feelly... with each other. Now I don't condemn appropriate physical affection between men, but what I worriedly observe is teenage boys pretty much rubbing up on each other.

When asked about it, they laugh and put it under the label of physical affection of the modern man.

This is the obvious and expected result of watching R-rated movies. :cool:

... I do have the right string don't I?:whistling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a 19 year old teenage son. I've never seen behavior like you mentioned between him and his friends. Nor, have I ever seen it anywhere I've gone. I'm with Pam on this one. I don't want to hang out anywhere near this.

When you mentioned this type of behavior my mind went to music videos and how the men seem to be grabbing themselves. Bugs the heck out of me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

This is the obvious and expected result of watching R-rated movies. :cool:

... I do have the right string don't I?:whistling:

That's exactly what my husband said. And some other stuff I won't burden this conversation with. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Context is important. I spooned with other men in the army when really cold, not proud of it, but it was practical.

That being said, I have seen some rather different physical interactions based on the family environment or micro culture.

There seems to be a crazy double standard when men are expected to be as emotionally understanding as a woman, but still maintain the idea of what a man is supposed to be...whatever that is these days.

Edited by Praetorian_Brow

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

I've noticed this primarily among drama students, swimmers, and Boy Scout camp counselors.

Drama students... that's your problem. LOL!

My kid is in a school of the arts middle school. Never saw any of this happening there. You know where I saw it? In the school my kid went to in the Philippines. The kids were pretending to be gay. That's the problem with an Asian culture that likes to mimic Western culture. They think it's cool because being gay is celebrated in the West and that's what they think gays do. And it's a Catholic school and the teachers are having a grand time trying to figure out how to approach it in the new-fangled politically correct manner.

Edited by anatess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

While not nearly as extreme as rubbing genitals (??? in public???), one thing I have always thought strange is the missionary habit of putting arms around each others shoulders. I raised a boy and we had boys around the house. I teach on a big campus and there are tons of teenage guys and I've never seen guys hang on to each other like that.

I always associate it with lack of physical human contact while in the mission field, and though it's harmless, it just looks strange to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

While not nearly as extreme as rubbing genitals (??? in public???), one thing I have always thought strange is the missionary habit of putting arms around each others shoulders. I raised a boy and we had boys around the house. I teach on a big campus and there are tons of teenage guys and I've never seen guys hang on to each other like that.

I always associate it with lack of physical human contact while in the mission field, and though it's harmless, it just looks strange to me.

It's an Asian thing.

You must be Filipino if... you walk around town with your arm draped around another person's shoulders of the same gender... and you're not a homosexual.

Or...

You must be Filipino if... you're a guy and you go to the bathroom as a group with other guys.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been going down "Memory Lane" recently and have been looking at pictures of the teens in the 50's & 60's - the guys have their arms around the shoulders of their pals next to them in nearly every picture.

This triggered memories of my brother standing next to his buddies - yep, they had their arms around the shoulders of each other as they posed for the pictures. His explanation of why the football players whacked each other on the tush was: Because you can't get through all the shoulder padding - hit it (the shoulder padding) hard enough and you can knock a guy out!

They also wore their pants up around their waists with their shirt-tails tucked in, and they would have been thoroughly embarrassed at the sight of Michael Jackson grabbing and 'pumping' his crotch as he was singing (where this originated in my opinion). For the most part they were embarrassed with the hip/knee/leg jerking of Elvis.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's an Asian thing.

You must be Filipino if... you walk around town with your arm draped around another person's shoulders of the same gender... and you're not a homosexual.

Or...

You must be Filipino if... you're a guy and you go to the bathroom as a group with other guys.

Yeah Thai people do the same thing. I used to rarely show physical affection with anyone but after being in Thailand, I realized that it relieves a little stress, even if its from random people. I remember particularly near the end of my mission I was really stressed about the work, my companion, the branch; and there was the Elders Quorum President who came up behind me where I was sitting and he had a very soothing voice and he just rested his hand on my trapezium. When he rested his hand there and was talking to some people, I felt like I was getting the best massage I've ever had, I felt stress relieving, I felt much more at ease about what needed to get done, it was amazing! And all he did was rest his hand on my trap. He didn't squeeze, no pressure nothing, just pure contact and that was all. It taught me the great importance of being affectionate, showing to people in more ways than one that you care, and it can do wonders for those who are struggling and feel alone. The more more familiar you are with a person the more it relieves or if its been awhile. In this case I had been in the area a bit and knew I could trust this man. He was very spiritual and strong and helped so many people and that simple touch did wonders for me and taught me great lessons.

As far as me expressing myself physically like that, to me its a healthy normal thing to do and nothing pervertish about it. But I still have a line. Obviously, the dude has to understand what Im doing. If he thinks im hitting on him or he's uncomfortable then I stay away. Likewise in return.

To me it's a way to show I care, or to support someone and help them feel more at ease. I also do not show any physical affection like this to women. That's a line, so the above is strictly for men. I don't even embrace women closely except my wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this