Hair Help!

[NyssaLynn]

I'm a teen(female), and I am in some real need of help! For my birthday, my dad and stepmom are getting my hair professionally cut and dyed. I've really wanted to dye all my hair bright red for a long time, just for my own appeal. I don't care what others think about it really, but recently one of my friends has told me I shouldn't dye my hair because of a few reasons:

-why should I change my hair when my body is a temple of God?

-people are going to judge me for red hair and make assumptions

-I'll need to change to go on a mission, but shouldn't I just strive for normalcy all the time?

-Guys find girls who not only live but raise the standards more attractive.

Some of those frustrated me. I already know all the Mormon guys don't like me, and I don't want to try to please them, I want to please me and Heavenly Father. Also, I have a real issue with people judging me. I already know I won't be able to get a job with bright red hair but his reasoning was basically saying "don't dye your hair because people won't like it". it's like listening to the crowd.

Please someone help, I'm feeling really conflicted. I'm not good at decision making and I always second guess myself, like with this. So... is dyeing all my hair bright red okay? Like, it's not a commandment or something along those lines not to dye my hair. I know it's not exactly encouraged, but it's not sinning, right?

[Dravin]

Also, I have a real issue with people judging me. I already know I won't be able to get a job with bright red hair but his reasoning was basically saying "don't dye your hair because people won't like it". it's like listening to the crowd.

As portrayed here that isn't his argument, his argument is that how we present ourselves communicates something and that what you would end up communicating is not something you would want.

So... is dyeing all my hair bright red okay? Like, it's not a commandment or something along those lines not to dye my hair. I know it's not exactly encouraged, but it's not sinning, right?

It should be noted that something can not be a sin while still not being a good idea. To actually address the aspect of sin though I suggest you read the following: https://www.lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth/dress-and-appearance?lang=eng

I particularly recommend paying attention to:

If you are not sure what is appropriate to wear, study the words of the prophets, pray for guidance, and ask your parents or leaders for help. Your dress and appearance now will help you prepare for the time when you will go to the temple to make sacred covenants with God. Ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”

Edited October 5, 2013 by Dravin

[NyssaLynn]

I have read that part of the For the Strength of Youth a few times already in the past two days. This is why I have made this, to ask others help as well.

[TalkativeIntrovert]

A big/unnatural change to your appearance is making a statement to the world.

Think about what statement you are making and if is it the right one.

I have had many hair colour changes ranging from black to very blonde, all were done by a professional, and no colour was "unnatural", ie strangers would not have known that it was not normal for me - if that makes sense - so no purples, greens, pinks, etc. My family made comment about what suited me better and that was it.

I WAS definitely treated differently with each colour change by strangers. As a blonde, shop assistants offered me shorter dresses to try and more party like clothes. I had a lot more male attention. As a brunette I faded into the background and with black hair I was a little more obvious than brunette, but not much.

It was an interesting social experiment. :)

One thing about changing hair colour, is that to do it right costs a lot of money up front and a lot of maintenance costs. You need good shampoo and conditioner to keep the colour strong and you will need 4 weekly salon visits to keep that racing stripe away.

If you do it yourself, there is a big danger of damage to the hair, it will become porous and break off. There is also the risk of unwanted results e.g. bright orange instead of blonde or red.

Another thing is that if you don't like it, going back is not that easy. For me to go from black to blonde involved a full head bleach and it wasn't nice for a while. I was ok as I also had no issue with going from long to short in the blink of an eye.

That's the practicalities.

To your questions, coming from a convert in a non-Mormon area:

-why should I change my hair when my body is a temple of God?

Men shave. women dye their hair, remove excess hair, put on makeup, etc. I don't see this as any different.

-people are going to judge me for red hair and make assumptions

Yes they will. Everyone judges. Are you prepared for that?

-I'll need to change to go on a mission, but shouldn't I just strive for normalcy all the time?

Not sure what this means

-Guys find girls who not only live but raise the standards more attractive.

As far as I am concerned, guys should worry about their own appearance. If you think that colouring your hair is not meeting or raising a standard, then you need to make your decision based on that premise. I never dyed my hair to impress anyone but me. If guys were so superficial as to judge by the colour of my hair I wasn't interested in them.

Even now, at almost 50, I still change colours, mostly to cover grey :) Recently I went from a mousy brown speckled with grey to blonde again and I feel great (other than the maintenance cost!).

Good luck with your choices.

[NyssaLynn]

I see what you're saying. But you're also saying how you would dye your hair just for you, because you wanted to, and that's why I want to dye my hair red. It's just because I like the colour and want to see how it would look on me. I'm not trying to make a statement on the world, but I will anyway, and I know that. But I would rather have bright red hair and be my own person than dye a 'natural' colour and follow the crowd. That's how I see it at least.

[Vort]

I'm 50, which in your book makes me an old fogey. So read my comments with that in mind.

I think hair dyed bright red (or green, or pink, or purple) is ridiculous-looking. If my daughter wanted to do such a thing, I would counsel her against it. But if she wanted to do it, I wouldn't stop her. Dyeing your hair some silly color is not sinful.

But as Dravin points out, the fact that something is not sinful doesn't mean it's a good idea.

There ya go, sweetheart. The opinion of an old guy.

[beefche]

Ok, here's a woman who isn't really going to comment on if you should or shouldn't do it. Let me tell you about hair dyeing in general.

Red color fades quickly. It fades faster than other colors. It also bleeds (at first) on anything when wet. If you get it professionally done, then you'll need to make sure to ask your stylist what to use to keep it up. And you'll need to dye it about every 6 wks or so. Plus, if you decide to go to a different color, you can't just switch. I believe you have to strip your hair of color (which means you dye it blonde) and then add your color.

So, if you plan on having a professional dye your hair, but don't plan on a professional to keep it up, remember these things and ask your stylist for help on keeping it up or changing it.

[NyssaLynn]

Thanks for the advice, but don't worry, I've done my fair share of research on bright red hair :) I'm planning on bright red hair(with possible blonde chunky streaks) done by a professional, then Manic Panic red once it fades or roots start showing, and then after that I'll let roots come out a bit then dye back to dark brown

[Guest]

So, there's this guy from Pittsburgh. Like most people of Pittsburgh, he is a die-hard Steelers fan. He was preparing to go to watch the Steelers play with the Dallas Cowboys at the stadium. He thought of what to wear and decided to wear blue shirt and blue hat because he just loves blue and he looks great in it. He went to the stadium and cheered his lungs out for the Steelers and he got so upset at all his fellow Steelers because they threw popcorn at him...

Moral of the story. Individualism can only get you so far...

[TalkativeIntrovert]

Thanks for the advice, but don't worry, I've done my fair share of research on bright red hair :) I'm planning on bright red hair(with possible blonde chunky streaks) done by a professional, then Manic Panic red once it fades or roots start showing, and then after that I'll let roots come out a bit then dye back to dark brown

Sounds like you have already made your decision, you said in your initial post that you don't care what people think, you also say you have done your research on red hair, so I am now not sure what the point of your post was?

Your roots will start to show after 2 - 4 weeks, so you will only have the red for 2 months maximum (bright for 1 month, less bright for 1 month then back to "normal") under your plan. Is it worth the mental space, angst and money?

I am sure you have done your research, but just in case, did your know that it is incredibly hard, if not impossible, to dye your hair back to natural after colouring? Even if you get close you will still have regrowth showing. When I went back natural it was a process over 18 months of getting foils to try and make the real colour not so obvious against the dyed hair. It was costly. I was working as an IT manager - I could afford it. The alternative is to let it grow out and put up with the re-growth.

I am not trying to advise you either way as I have no vested interest in what you do, just giving information based on my experiences.

[Guest]

Even a "natural" looking red is more maintenance than I was willing to do, even though I think that's the color that looks best on me.

I really wanted pink hair when I wasn't too old for that kind of thing. What made the decision for me was asking myself whether I'd be comfortable in the temple with bright pink hair. Only you can answer that.

[dahlia]

Just my 2 cents - if you go red, try Kenra color maintenance products. They will help you keep the color longer. Also, try not to wash it too often. You should be able to get by with wetting it and using product, especially if you have any kind of curl to your hair.

The stylist uses a red and brown mix for me. I'm olive complected and wouldn't look too good in very red hair, but I love red hair and try to get it as red as I can and still have a professional job. : ) You will probably need a job if you are going to go as far as Manic Panic so that you can keep that stuff up. Maybe you could do something not so 'fake' red, but the color of a natural redhead.

[Irishcolleen]

My hair hasn't seen it's natural color in 20 years as I was quite gray very early. Once you start dyeing your hair it's hard to stop because there are those pesky roots. Skunk stripes are not attractive. My advice is to go to the best colorist you can find. Make sure she/he helps you choose a hair color that enhances your natural beauty. Not all hair colors look good on all people. The wrong color can make one look ghastly.