kenzers7 Posted October 13, 2013 Report Share Posted October 13, 2013 My friend looks at porn and now that I know this, it makes me uncomfortable to be around him. Being a girl I just feel really disgusted and I'm having the hardest time learning to love him. What can I do to be more Christlike and learn to love my friend and not feel so weird around him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 Just think about Christ and how much he loves *you* with all your sins, with all your weaknesses, and shortcomings. Learn to separate the sin from the sinner. I am sure there are things you have done that you regret you have done...think about those moments, weren't in those moments that you felt the need to be loved the most? How sad and lonely someone may feel if they know others withdraw their love for them when they need it the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 What are the things about him that makes him your friend? What are the positive things about him? Perhaps remembering those things would help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 Learn to help be part of the solution: A Better Mormon | Become Part of the Solution of Pornography AddictionI recommend this set of free recordings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 How would you learn to love him if you didn't know he looks at porn? Odds are, you don't know a tenth of the sins of anyone you've ever met. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 How would you learn to love him if you didn't know he looks at porn?Odds are, you don't know a tenth of the sins of anyone you've ever met.I would add to this that this friend is almost certainly not the only person you know who looks at porn, and there are probably a number of females you associate who look at porn. This shouldn't be any different than loving someone who like to drink, or smoke, or swear, or enjoy a cup of coffee. If you love people who do those things, then this really shouldn't be much different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skalenfehl Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 My friend looks at porn and now that I know this, it makes me uncomfortable to be around him. Being a girl I just feel really disgusted and I'm having the hardest time learning to love him. What can I do to be more Christlike and learn to love my friend and not feel so weird around him?Don't judge him because he sins differently than you.If you do not accuse each other, God will not accuse you. If you have no accuser you will enter heaven, and if you will follow the revelations and instructions which God gives you through me, I will take you into heaven as my back load. If you will not accuse me, I will not accuse you. If you will throw a cloak of charity over my sins, I will over yours—for charity covereth a multitude of sins.History of the Church, 4:445.I have many friends who commit all kinds of sins. I don't usually hang around with them because of the environments in which they gather and have fun. But this doesn't stop me from being their friend, reaching out whenever I can, and getting to know them better. We all have demons. Some of us give in to them much easier than others. Love your friend as Christ loves him. During His mortality, Christ mingled with all kinds of sinners, probably very immoral sinners. The healthy need not a physician, but they that are sick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 · Hidden Hidden This shouldn't be any different than loving someone who like to drink, or smoke, or swear, or enjoy a cup of coffee.Don't worry, PrisonChaplain, we aren't mentioning any names. Link to comment
Lakumi Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 Don't judge him because he sins differently than you.I have many friends who commit all kinds of sins. I don't usually hang around with them because of the environments in which they gather and have fun. But this doesn't stop me from being their friend, reaching out whenever I can, and getting to know them better. We all have demons. Some of us give in to them much easier than others. Love your friend as Christ loves him. During His mortality, Christ mingled with all kinds of sinners, probably very immoral sinners. The healthy need not a physician, but they that are sick.wasn't Mary Magdalene a prostitute? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 wasn't Mary Magdalene a prostitute?Nowhere in the Bible says she is. So, more than likely she wasn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 Nowhere in the Bible says she is. So, more than likely she wasn't.that's a theory I guess, growing up I watched a lot of bible history shows, sometimes I get confused... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 that's a theory I guess, growing up I watched a lot of bible history shows, sometimes I get confused...According to my classics professor...There was a crime spree in Rome about 1000 years ago (+ or - a lot, Im bad with dates, it could be 300Ad or 1500 ad) involving the rape, beating, and murder of prostitutes that became accepted practice. It became such a problem (became???? Hullo. 1 is a problem. Much less accepted practice) that the Pope at the time started preaching for Roma to consider every prostitute as Mary Magdalen. He did it as a kindness, trying to stop people from treating prostitutes as garbage. But most biblical scholars agree it was a parable. Not a statement of fact. All of a sudden it was no longer acceptable to rape, beat, and kill prostitutes. The whole Mary Magdalen = Prostitute thing seems to be particularly prevalent in North America, still. So I would suspect the puritans & other reformers brought the idea over with them. The eastern (Balkans, etc.) Christians I know are as disgusted at the pop culture portrayals from Hollywood as any Catholic would be at the idea of the Virgin Mary turning tricks.Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 According to my classics professor...There was a crime spree in Rome about 1000 years ago (+ or - a lot, Im bad with dates, it could be 300Ad or 1500 ad) involving the rape, beating, and murder of prostitutes that became accepted practice. It became such a problem (became???? Hullo. 1 is a problem. Much less accepted practice) that the Pope at the time started preaching for Roma to consider every prostitute as Mary Magdalen. He did it as a kindness, trying to stop people from treating prostitutes as garbage. But most biblical scholars agree it was a parable. Not a statement of fact. All of a sudden it was no longer acceptable to rape, beat, and kill prostitutes. The whole Mary Magdalen = Prostitute thing seems to be particularly prevalent in North America, still. So I would suspect the puritans & other reformers brought the idea over with them. The eastern (Balkans, etc.) Christians I know are as disgusted at the pop culture portrayals from Hollywood as any Catholic would be at the idea of the Virgin Mary turning tricks.Qblame the pope, got it:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 I think your in a hard place And I know you will figure it out I'm sure this is a learning experience for you. LIke was said upabove we all sin and we dont know all their sins. This person for some reason wanted you to know was it to help him? or did he or she want to scare you away?? As I have loved you, love one another this new commandment etc etc... by this shall men know that yeah are my disciple if yea have love one to another. You might be the one to help your friend. It's not our job to judge!! It's our job to love, rescue and build.!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 My friend looks at porn and now that I know this, it makes me uncomfortable to be around him. Being a girl I just feel really disgusted and I'm having the hardest time learning to love him. What can I do to be more Christlike and learn to love my friend and not feel so weird around him?At some point you have to upgrade your "friends".Please move on. Would you want to be "friends" with a child molester, a thief, a murderer???People like this are emotional vampires. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 is this person a friend or someone your dating? thinking of a future with? then that is hard !!! Id say talk to your Bishop....they can be cured, theirs help 4 them.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 is this person a friend or someone your dating? thinking of a future with? then that is hard !!! Id say talk to your Bishop....they can be cured, theirs help 4 them....only if they feel its an issue, I have friends who don't think its a bad thing.you'd never convince them it was and comparing people who watch porn to child molesters is insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swiper Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 At some point you have to upgrade your "friends".Please move on. Would you want to be "friends" with a child molester, a thief, a murderer???People like this are emotional vampires.Wow, just wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 only if they feel its an issue, I have friends who don't think its a bad thing.you'd never convince them it was and comparing people who watch porn to child molesters is insane.Maybe,But I don't know anyone who is a porn addict (that I'm aware). And wouldn't really want to know anyone who is.I'll tone it down. Would you be "friends" with a drug dealer? Probably not. And I'm a libertarian. I think drugs should be legalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 My friend looks at porn and now that I know this, it makes me uncomfortable to be around him. Being a girl I just feel really disgusted and I'm having the hardest time learning to love him. What can I do to be more Christlike and learn to love my friend and not feel so weird around him?Well Kenzers,I just looked at your profile. You are 16. Please stay away from this person. My advice now goes double. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted October 14, 2013 Report Share Posted October 14, 2013 Maybe,But I don't know anyone who is a porn addict (that I'm aware). And wouldn't really want to know anyone who is.I'll tone it down. Would you be "friends" with a drug dealer? Probably not. And I'm a libertarian. I think drugs should be legalized.I can very nearly guarantee you that you are friends with someone who struggles with pornography addiction, they just haven't revealed it to you. I'll even wager you are friends with some one who struggles with a prescription drug problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derblitzenator Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Maybe,But I don't know anyone who is a porn addict (that I'm aware). And wouldn't really want to know anyone who is.I'll tone it down. Would you be "friends" with a drug dealer? Probably not. And I'm a libertarian. I think drugs should be legalized.Are you really lumping porn addicts with drug dealers, child molesters, and murderers? First of all, looking at porn is considered a very minor sin and not subject to disciplinary councils. The others you listed will get you excommunicated rather quickly. Something like 70% of men look at porn regularly, so chances are you are friends with someone with the struggle that you have no clue about. When I lived in Florida, there were a lot of guys that were open about their addiction to porn. Many of them were upstanding individuals worthy of friendship. Based on your comments, I'd rather be friends with any number of porn addicts than someone as judgmental as you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Maybe,But I don't know anyone who is a porn addict (that I'm aware). And wouldn't really want to know anyone who is.I'll tone it down. Would you be "friends" with a drug dealer? Probably not. And I'm a libertarian. I think drugs should be legalized.don't speak for me.on topic I know plenty who watch it, and have no issue with it. I've known them for years and they are good people. I won't drop them like a stone because I took up a religion, my views haven't changed on the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetorian_Brow Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Learn to help be part of the solution: A Better Mormon | Become Part of the Solution of Pornography AddictionI recommend this set of free recordings.Thank you for that link, as this hits the nail on the head. Tony Lister is astute and everyone should listen to what you linked to.mrmarklin, you don't understand pornography at all and are contributing to the problem by being unfair. Putting your head into the sand and ignoring that its happening is contributing to the problem, by making those around you conform to your idea of life, rather than accepting and helping. Many are like you within the church culture, they judge when they shouldn't.Pornography is everywhere and no one is immune in today's culture of over saturation with media. Chances are, you yourself have been exposed to it in some form , even if you rightly view it as disgusting. Cosmo, 17, Victoria's Secret, commercials, billboards, movies, books, posters all can be be considering pornographic and contribute to the pornography epidemic by enticing for more. These enticements, which are everywhere are candy to a man who loves visual stimulation and for a teenage boy, where the problem usually begins, viewing underwear is exciting and merely a matter of looking the newspaper, but soon thereafter, this boy and even girls can find all the stimulation they need by simply logging onto the internet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted October 15, 2013 Report Share Posted October 15, 2013 Pornography is everywhere. I don't think Kenzer is necessarily dealing with a porn addict. But Kenzer is 16 years old. Why should she want to deal with any of this at this stage of her life??Like I said, sometimes you need to upgrade your friends. Dealing with quality people is a pleasure. I try to do it in my personal as well as business life. Why would I want to deal with anything else? Life is complicated enough.I have seen hard core pornography, but I don't really associate with those who want to view it regularly. I know people who take drugs, but don't really consider them my friends. They're acquaintances.Friends are people I would go out to dinner with, take cruises with, attend their wedding, have joy when life events happen to them such as children, etc. I don't do these things with acquaintances.Sure, compared to some of the crimes and addictions I've mentioned porn is pretty small potatoes. But that doesn't mean a 16 year old should let it into her life.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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