Mormon photocopiers


Zeitgeist
 Share

Recommended Posts

In preparation for my possible reactivation, I am reading a book called A Convert's Guide to Mormon Life by a Mr. and Mrs. Kidd of Northern Virginia (apparently in the same stake I once belonged to in a previous century).

It's a really wonderful book, but it contains one bizarre passage (p.42): "[F]or some reason photocopiers in LDS meetinghouses are unfailingly temperamental. If by chance you find a photocopier that is in working order when you start printing, it will probably break before your printing job is done. Use that photocopier only when there's no other option, and never assume that it's in working order."

I raised an eyebrow at various points in this book, such as the Cheerios on the chapel floor and basketball hoops in every photograph of a wedding reception. But this comment about photocopiers makes me wonder if there's more to the story. Did the Church get hoodwinked into a 100-year contract on lousy copiers or something?

And no, this probably isn't a dealbreaker for my reactivation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In this area at least, the church doesn't really invest highly in local technology. The church is known for its use of technology, but that's primarily at the headquarters and select locations.

The photocopier in our clerk office is an inkjet, probably the cheapest model the bishop from two generations ago could find.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not sure who is in charge of purchasing copiers -- whether it is on the ward/building level stake level or just how high up it goes. I think what happens is that in many cases, whoever was/is responsible for this decision chooses an "undersized" copier. I recall one ward I was in where the bishop or stake president worked out an arrangement with a local copy shop so that people could bill copies to the ward or stake. The reason that was given was that they were having difficulties with the copier(s) because they were undersized. I don't recall the exact numbers, but the library copier in our building was designed for something small (let's say 1000 copies/month), but the copy meter in the copier was saying that it was trying to do more like 10,000 copies/month (or some other many multiple times its designed rating). The copier in our current building seems to work pretty well and keeps up with demand. I expect the Kidd's observation is rooted in a tendency to buy undersized/underdesigned copiers for the real demand that a ward library really sees.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In preparation for my possible reactivation, I am reading a book called A Convert's Guide to Mormon Life by a Mr. and Mrs. Kidd of Northern Virginia (apparently in the same stake I once belonged to in a previous century).

It's a really wonderful book, but it contains one bizarre passage (p.42): "[F]or some reason photocopiers in LDS meetinghouses are unfailingly temperamental. If by chance you find a photocopier that is in working order when you start printing, it will probably break before your printing job is done. Use that photocopier only when there's no other option, and never assume that it's in working order."

I raised an eyebrow at various points in this book, such as the Cheerios on the chapel floor and basketball hoops in every photograph of a wedding reception. But this comment about photocopiers makes me wonder if there's more to the story. Did the Church get hoodwinked into a 100-year contract on lousy copiers or something?

And no, this probably isn't a dealbreaker for my reactivation.

Why would photocopiers, Cheerios or basketball hoops have ANY impact on your testimony?

I don't see anything "bizarre" about the passage you reference. It is simply a lighthearted, Murphy's Law kind of reference to photocopiers. Certainly nothing to fret about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why would photocopiers, Cheerios or basketball hoops have ANY impact on your testimony?

I don't see anything "bizarre" about the passage you reference. It is simply a lighthearted, Murphy's Law kind of reference to photocopiers. Certainly nothing to fret about.

Oh come on, I was joking. ;)

I did find that passage very odd, though. The rest of the book was warmly constructive, cheerful, and (allow me to say) downright LDS in its friendliness and happiness. Then this jarring digression attacking poor photocopies. Whatever.

The only part of the book that troubled me was the section on ordinances for the dead. My own belief is that these ordinances are an act of compassion from living LDS members, who live and preach the Gospel so fully that it spills over into acts of generosity even for those who have died. But the book says that some LDS members go to the temple to do these ordinances and they sometimes feel a spirit of gratitude from the dead and some sort of presence from beyond the grave. Maybe the authors are citing idle folklore as fact, but I'm having a bit of trouble with this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the comments. Obviously photocopiers aren't a big deal in the great scheme of things, but the topic interested me and I'm glad to hear that the problems might simply come from a ward's wish to save money. Good for them.

A friend of mine was in the leadership of a nearby church (not LDS). They rented out the sanctuary to a rather large choir group for weekly rehearsals. The choir had a key to the church office. This group would make midnight runs into the church office and secretly photocopy mountains of sheet music (and I do mean mountains). They broke the monthly cap on copies, which resulted in fantastically expensive overage charges each month. The bookkeeper noticed the high monthly invoices but assumed it was from legitimate church use and simply paid the invoices without alerting anyone. After two years, an audit revealed that the church had been paying almost $9000 a month in overage charges from this criminal choir.

Lesson: keep your keys on a tight chain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the comments. Obviously photocopiers aren't a big deal in the great scheme of things, but the topic interested me and I'm glad to hear that the problems might simply come from a ward's wish to save money. Good for them.

A friend of mine was in the leadership of a nearby church (not LDS). They rented out the sanctuary to a rather large choir group for weekly rehearsals. The choir had a key to the church office. This group would make midnight runs into the church office and secretly photocopy mountains of sheet music (and I do mean mountains). They broke the monthly cap on copies, which resulted in fantastically expensive overage charges each month. The bookkeeper noticed the high monthly invoices but assumed it was from legitimate church use and simply paid the invoices without alerting anyone. After two years, an audit revealed that the church had been paying almost $9000 a month in overage charges from this criminal choir.

Lesson: keep your keys on a tight chain.

O.o

Link to comment
Share on other sites

In preparation for my possible reactivation, I am reading a book called A Convert's Guide to Mormon Life by a Mr. and Mrs. Kidd of Northern Virginia (apparently in the same stake I once belonged to in a previous century).

It's a really wonderful book, but it contains one bizarre passage (p.42): "[F]or some reason photocopiers in LDS meetinghouses are unfailingly temperamental. If by chance you find a photocopier that is in working order when you start printing, it will probably break before your printing job is done. Use that photocopier only when there's no other option, and never assume that it's in working order."

I raised an eyebrow at various points in this book, such as the Cheerios on the chapel floor and basketball hoops in every photograph of a wedding reception. But this comment about photocopiers makes me wonder if there's more to the story. Did the Church get hoodwinked into a 100-year contract on lousy copiers or something?

And no, this probably isn't a dealbreaker for my reactivation.

I suspect some tongue-in-cheek there.

Although, having been a ward librarian, there's some truth to that, and my raised-LDS husband agrees. Heavy use by people who aren't exactly experts might be relevant.

In the ward I was librarian in, the Bishop and one of his counselors were county sheriff's deputies, and the EQ President was a Highway Patrol officer (DH and I were friendly with him and his wife). One day the copier was being a bit more of a pain than usual, and the EQP walked in. I jokingly asked him if he had his gun handy. The Bishop was right behind him, and told me he'd seen the EQP shoot and that the copier was totally safe. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh come on, I was joking. ;)

I did find that passage very odd, though. The rest of the book was warmly constructive, cheerful, and (allow me to say) downright LDS in its friendliness and happiness. Then this jarring digression attacking poor photocopies. Whatever.

The only part of the book that troubled me was the section on ordinances for the dead. My own belief is that these ordinances are an act of compassion from living LDS members, who live and preach the Gospel so fully that it spills over into acts of generosity even for those who have died. But the book says that some LDS members go to the temple to do these ordinances and they sometimes feel a spirit of gratitude from the dead and some sort of presence from beyond the grave. Maybe the authors are citing idle folklore as fact, but I'm having a bit of trouble with this.

I have no problem with this at all, having personally experienced it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The only part of the book that troubled me was the section on ordinances for the dead. My own belief is that these ordinances are an act of compassion from living LDS members, who live and preach the Gospel so fully that it spills over into acts of generosity even for those who have died. But the book says that some LDS members go to the temple to do these ordinances and they sometimes feel a spirit of gratitude from the dead and some sort of presence from beyond the grave. Maybe the authors are citing idle folklore as fact, but I'm having a bit of trouble with this.

We would be more then happy to discuss this if you would like... However it would be a massive derail of this thread... So if you are interested in start a new thread for this topic and we can discuss it.

As for photocopiers I have to agree with the idea of buying an undersized machine for what the real needs of the ward are

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Exaggeration, yes, but based on truth, in my experience. Church photocopiers seem constantly to be on the fritz. I imagine if the librarians called to work there were trained a bit more on maintenance and simple upkeep, the instances of photocopier breakdown would greatly diminish.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now I'm having visions of a 3-D copier that produces things in jello. Weird, and cool, and totally pointless.

But filled with awesomeness. That's what I was thinking when I read that post, too. Except the pointless part, because jello is never pointless ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share