Wavering activity in the church with active wife


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My wife and I have been married for close to a year, we dated for 3 years prior to being married and sealed in the temple. She recently has been asking me about if I 'want to be an active member of the church.' I served a full time honorable mission but recently have been struggling to see the purpose of going to church when I feel judged by those around me.

I know this sounds like a bunch of excuses but its hard for me to be motivated to go to church, read scriptures, and pray on a regular basis. I don't want this to be a point of conflict for our marriage but its hard for me gain this motivation. What should I do?

Thanks for any help in advance.

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You need to find your own testimony. You are focused too much on the people, rather than on your own spiritual journey. Think back about why you went on a mission. Was it to meet people? Or was it because you had a love for the Savior and a testimony of His great commission? I personally do not get a lot out of the meetings at Church. However, I attend not because I'm learning something or meeting neat people, but because I am honoring Christ by showing Him that he is important enough to me that I will attend and partake of the Sacrament with Him in mind.

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get back to doing the basic's Who says we have to read the scriptures an hr a day. Just start with a verse a day if that's all you can handle or a phargaph. Are you praying? If not start too. Deep down u know how important this is!! and if you have to force yourself to do these things,is that a bad thing? and get to church at least go for scrament. then build urself up.Dont let Satan win!!! He wants you to fail!!! Your wife loves you and wants the best for you & your family. a Forever Family!! Dont worry about other's judging you, you know we are not suppose to judge, just to love and support. I hope you work this out sooner then later...

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was reading 3 nephi chapter 18 a verse hit me and i knew i had to put the pc on and share it with you. but it took me @ least 2 hrs or so to find you. i think it was verse 15 verily, verily I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always,lest ye be tempted by the devil, and ye be led away captive by him....do u want misery or happiness?

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You shouldn't give other people oustide of your wife and children the power to decide your spiritual fate. Unless you're only using them as a convenient excuse for your lack of desire to honor God.

So... tell us (or just tell yourself)... what is REALLY the problem?

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I feel judged by those around me.

stop doing that.

Frankly I don't care what other people think of me. I've never understood why people even care what others think of them.

Church is not a social event for starters. It's a worship event.

I got divorced 4 years ago, and frankly I never cared what others were thinking about it. My ex's lawyer was essentially funded by tithing money because her dad paid for him and her dad works for the church. He also did not hesitate to tell a pack of lies about me while under oath.

But hey, who cares what other's do and say? Nobody will ever come between me and my worship service. And I don't even care who the church employs. Not my problem.

Likewise if someone judges you, it's not your problem, it's actually theirs.

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but recently have been struggling to see the purpose of going to church

I think you know the purpose of Church. Actually as I started to type that up, I realize you have the the idea that a lot of people have. The difference between the Church and the Gospel.

So first I assume you want to be Active in the Gospel?

I assume you believe that there is a God, Heavenly Father?

I assume you believe that Jesus Christ is his Son, and Atoned for your sins?

That is the gospel. The church is there to help us live the Gospel.

I'll just let this talk do the rest.

Converted to His Gospel through His Church - general-conference

when I feel judged by those around me.

This can be good and bad. It is wrong for others to judge you. But the guilt you feel because of them judging you, has shown you your weaknesses. This is actually a good thing! You realize more the things you need to work on. You realize you aren't like the others at church. Let me be clear, we shouldn't judge others. But we have to look at what they are doing. They want you to come back to the church. Honestly they might feel uncomfortable around you.

But you have use that to evaluate yourself. If what ever they are judging you on is unfounded then don't worry about it. If it has some truth, then use it to change for the better. I assume you want to be better?

What should I do?

Motivation comes from within. You have to find the reason you want to get to Heaven (with your spouse). I assume you want to get to Heaven? Celestial Kingdom?

Jesus Christ is there to help us get there. As you taught so many people on your mission we made a covenant with God. We do our part, He does his. We renew that covenant every week with Sacrament. We want to be better. Is this easy to do? Nope! Is it hard! Sure is!

I assume you also belive in Satan. Satan does not want you to be happy. Satan wants you to give into the Natural Man, the Lazy side of all of us! Its actually Natural for us to be lazy. Thats why you have to find the reason to keep going to church.

For me this comes from feeling the spirit. Its not some big thing every week. Some weeks I probably don't even pay attention if I felt the spirit or not. But I know with Scripture reading, Prayer, and going Church, they work together to bring a spirit into my life. I know it can be brought into your life too.... if you want it... which I assume you do.

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stop doing that.

Frankly I don't care what other people think of me. I've never understood why people even care what others think of them.

Church is not a social event for starters. It's a worship event.

I got divorced 4 years ago, and frankly I never cared what others were thinking about it. My ex's lawyer was essentially funded by tithing money because her dad paid for him and her dad works for the church. He also did not hesitate to tell a pack of lies about me while under oath.

But hey, who cares what other's do and say? Nobody will ever come between me and my worship service. And I don't even care who the church employs. Not my problem.

Likewise if someone judges you, it's not your problem, it's actually theirs.

Don't even go there about the divorce being basically funded by the church through tithing. Working for the church has absolutely nothing to do with it. Whatever you may think.

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My ex's lawyer was essentially funded by tithing money because her dad paid for him and her dad works for the church.

A laborer is worthy of his hire.

Just because someone works for the church with gainful employment, does NOT mean that "tithing fund paid for your divorce".

Tithing paid for his time and expertise on the job. What he chose to do with his money is HIS business.

Otherwise, with that same argument, tithing is paying for his house, car(s), retirement, etc., etc., etc.

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