Birth order

[applepansy]

The Achiever, the Peacemaker and the Life of the Party: How Birth Order Affects Personality | Dr. Gail Gross

I'm a first born (which I think is complicated by being the first born grandchild too), married to a second born, living with my last born-married (to a 2nd born)-adult child and raising an only born in a house with FIVE adults. The only child's father is sort of a last born too, he was my last son.

We need a full time live in therapist.

Its a little overwhelming in my house.

[Bini]

Not sure how my family would fit into this - there are ten of us kids - some of us grew up together, some of us grew up for a short time together, some of us did not grow up together. The youngest of us kids is mid twenties and the oldest is somewhere in his fifties. In addition, three of us are adopted - two from the Philippines and one from here in the US - into a blended family. So two of us out of ten are dark-skinned while the others are Caucasian. I'm pretty sure all that changes things, too.

[NeuroTypical]

Heh - I'm an only child, who married the middle kid (and only sister among five brothers). I can relate to some of this.

[Wingnut]

I'm the oldest of three only children. My parents' kids were really spread out.

[pam]

In thinking about the scenarios in the article, I would fit #1 being the oldest. But all of my siblings fit more closely with #1 as well.

[Guest]

My family doesn't fit into this. The oldest of my siblings is not the Achiever... the 2nd and 3rd born are. The baby is not the life of the party. The 3rd born is. The baby is the Peacemaker and the 1st born is the one who is content to let everybody else plan the road trip.

My husband's family doesn't fit into this either - the 2nd born is the achiever.

I have only 2 children and the 1st born is definitely the Achiever. But, I'm very certain it's not because he is first born... it's because both his parents are achievers. The 2nd born is also an achiever but he refuses to compete with this older brother so anything his brother does good at, he tries not to do. Like - the 1st born plays piano really good, my 2nd born won't touch the piano at all. He plays drums instead. That kind of thing.

My cousins used to say - the firstborn is born out of lust, the second born is born out of love, the third born is born out of habit, the fourth born is an accident, anybody else born after the fourth are born out of resignation.

Now, I wonder how the Duggar's fit into this article.

[Dravin]

I'm a middle child, they quite rather missed the mark with their profile.

[Bini]

My cousins used to say - the firstborn is born out of lust, the second born is born out of love, the third born is born out of habit, the fourth born is an accident, anybody else born after the fourth are born out of resignation.

I think this is more true than not.

[Lakumi]

I think this is more true than not.

eh not with my parents

they aren't the sort of people who can just get into a car without a plan

having children, both of us, was very planned. And they seem proud of the fact whenever I bring that up:lol:

[Bini]

eh not with my parents

they aren't the sort of people who can just get into a car without a plan

having children, both of us, was very planned. And they seem proud of the fact whenever I bring that up:lol:

That's good.

But I think generally, the above is more true than false, when it comes to the masses.

[Lakumi]

That's good.

But I think generally, the above is more true than false, when it comes to the masses.

a lot of people are stupid

where I live there is an overabundance of single mothers

methinks its all lust for them, like house cats or something

[Guest]

a lot of people are stupid

where I live there is an overabundance of single mothers

methinks its all lust for them, like house cats or something

I think they just haven't realized yet that having sex produces children. :)

[Lakumi]

I think they just haven't realized yet that having sex produces children. :)

you'd think after the first one they'd figure it out and... I donno use protection?

but no, this town seems to not understand they exist and has a very high rate of single mothers.

And I refuse to chalk that up to lack of knowledge, every one of them has a cell phone with the internet on it

If you're 20 and already have 2 kids (with two different men), perhaps you need to rethink your life

[Guest]

you'd think after the first one they'd figure it out and... I donno use protection?

but no, this town seems to not understand they exist and has a very high rate of single mothers.

And I refuse to chalk that up to lack of knowledge, every one of them has a cell phone with the internet on it

If you're 20 and already have 2 kids (with two different men), perhaps you need to rethink your life

They have. And they are content to let the government pay for everything.

[Lakumi]

They have. And they are content to let the government pay for everything.

yep

I refuse to personally associate with them.

And sad to say they seem to be the only girls my age on the dating scene

[Palerider]

I am the youngest and my wife is the oldest in her family. We have 4 children and our youngest seems like to me with her traits that she is a first born.

[applepansy]

Several years ago I read the book that goes into more detail about the birth order traits. There are a lot of variables, which is why I have to last born. LOL

[Bini]

you'd think after the first one they'd figure it out and... I donno use protection?

but no, this town seems to not understand they exist and has a very high rate of single mothers.

And I refuse to chalk that up to lack of knowledge, every one of them has a cell phone with the internet on it

If you're 20 and already have 2 kids (with two different men), perhaps you need to rethink your life

They have. And they are content to let the government pay for everything.

yep

I refuse to personally associate with them.

And sad to say they seem to be the only girls my age on the dating scene

It's nonsense to throw everyone in the same pot of boiling oil. One mould doesn't fit everyone, even if it fits the masses. And to the latter statement, when I was dating I had no interest in getting involved with men that had children, I didn't want any potential strings attached to an ex. Having one's own criteria is important when figuring out who to date and who not to date. But the tone of "I refuse to personally associate with them" makes these women sound like they're the plague. People make mistakes, and we don't have to get ourselves involved with them or their situation if we choose not to, but to hold a stigma against them - all of them - is really too unfortunate. And just a reminder, it takes two to tango but it typically ends up being the female who takes the brunt of that consequence. I think society would benefit as a whole if we stopped shunning people and try to be a little more compassionate. As an ending comment, just because you're a young single mother doesn't mean that you couldn't keep your legs closed - there's numerous reasons why a young woman might find herself left with a child and on her own.

[Normandy]

We have a book called "the Birth Order Book by Leman" I've never read it! Haha.

I'm the only child of my parents.

But I'm the youngest of three daughters for my father. I've never met the oldest, whose in her late 40s and definitely was born out of lust. The middle one left home at 16 and never came back (she disowned the family), she's coming up on 40 and still acts like a child-ish brat half of the time. She was also pretty much born either out of lust or by accident or both.

I'm young, at mid-20's. I was a complete and utter accidental shock -- my mother was infertile for years before she got pregnant and was told she'd never be able to have children. They never had another accidental pregnancy and 10 years after I was born my father had his tubes tied because my parents decided after 10 years they really just enjoyed having just me. They had tried though in those 10 years to have another.

I feel really lucky and happy with how I grew up. Although I was extremely lonely as a child, I did get all of my parent's attention and affections. I learned a lot about life and how to be self-reliant.

My husband is the youngest born (out of two children). He very typically the second born personality. Never feels good enough in all that he does in comparison to his older sibling.

All four of our children were planned and we've never had an accidental pregnancy.

I have absolutely no idea what this says about myself or my family. haha

Edited January 16, 2014 by Normandy

[Vort]

My cousins used to say - the firstborn is born out of lust, the second born is born out of love, the third born is born out of habit, the fourth born is an accident, anybody else born after the fourth are born out of resignation.

Perhaps that's true as a general rule. I couldn't say. But I know in my family's case, each of my children was deeply wanted. None was an "accident", in any sense. I wish we could have had ten.

My mother has intimated that the last of her six children slipped in unexpectedly. But since she has experienced at least as much joy with that child as with any other, I think she considers that pregnancy a happy accident. And I don't think that's just an "all's well that ends well" emotion. She certainly never voiced even a moment's regret for the (exceptionally difficult and dangerous) pregnancy, the premature birth, or the worry-filled early weeks when the baby was expected to die.

[Roseslipper]

Not sure how my family would fit into this - there are ten of us kids - some of us grew up together, some of us grew up for a short time together, some of us did not grow up together. The youngest of us kids is mid twenties and the oldest is somewhere in his fifties. In addition, three of us are adopted - two from the Philippines and one from here in the US - into a blended family. So two of us out of ten are dark-skinned while the others are Caucasian. I'm pretty sure all that changes things, too.

your family sounds very intersting.

[Roseslipper]

Im the first born my brother is the 2nd.

[Maureen]

...My cousins used to say - the firstborn is born out of lust, the second born is born out of love, the third born is born out of habit, the fourth born is an accident, anybody else born after the fourth are born out of resignation...

I think your cousins have something there.

M.

[Backroads]

I'm a first-born (with a twin) married to a first-born. My husband is text-book first child, and I have enough of a pretty laid-back personality to off-set my own tendendies, but they are there!

[Lakumi]

It's nonsense to throw everyone in the same pot of boiling oil. One mould doesn't fit everyone, even if it fits the masses. And to the latter statement, when I was dating I had no interest in getting involved with men that had children, I didn't want any potential strings attached to an ex. Having one's own criteria is important when figuring out who to date and who not to date. But the tone of "I refuse to personally associate with them" makes these women sound like they're the plague. People make mistakes, and we don't have to get ourselves involved with them or their situation if we choose not to, but to hold a stigma against them - all of them - is really too unfortunate. And just a reminder, it takes two to tango but it typically ends up being the female who takes the brunt of that consequence. I think society would benefit as a whole if we stopped shunning people and try to be a little more compassionate. As an ending comment, just because you're a young single mother doesn't mean that you couldn't keep your legs closed - there's numerous reasons why a young woman might find herself left with a child and on her own.

you don't know me too well do you? lol:lol:

I won't go out of my way to shun them or some such insanity-forum chatter is one thing... Though I don't want to associate with any.

What possible reason would I have to do that? From past experiences they only ever seem to talk about their kids, they have nothing else to say.

And as someone who doesn't want anything to do with children, those one track mind sorts aren't the sorts for me.