Women who are addicted to pornography


SoCal_Counselor
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I have been working on a presentation that I have been preparing for RS and YW leaders in a Stake here in California. The topic is on the growing problem of women who struggle with pornography. I thought I would share some of my resources here:

This is a blog of one woman's experience of healing from a pornography addiction. By the Light of Grace

A number of women blog at this website talking about their experiences of healing and struggle with pornography.

LDS Addiction Recovery Blogs

Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Pamphlet http://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/family/family-well-being/combatting-pornography/pdf/LetVirtueGarnishThyThoughts.pdf

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I have been working on a presentation that I have been preparing for RS and YW leaders in a Stake here in California. The topic is on the growing problem of women who struggle with pornography. I thought I would share some of my resources here:

This is a blog of one woman's experience of healing from a pornography addiction. By the Light of Grace

A number of women blog at this website talking about their experiences of healing and struggle with pornography.

LDS Addiction Recovery Blogs

Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Pamphlet http://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/family/family-well-being/combatting-pornography/pdf/LetVirtueGarnishThyThoughts.pdf

This is excellent......while serving as a Bishop I did not run into I women struggling with pornography. The second time time I was called I did notice this problem. Had a few sisters come to and we sat down and talked.

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I don't know if this is too much of a threadjack, but I've been wondering for a while, and this thread seems to be an opportunity to ask. You are apparently someone in favor of designating porn and/or sex as addictive. What is your take on the APA's decision to leave porn/sex addiction out of the most recent diagnostic standards (DSM-V)? Is the science of porn/sex addiction weak enough to justify leaving it out? Did the committee make a mistake to leave it out?

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You are apparently someone in favor of designating porn and/or sex as addictive.

Unfortunately I do not have enough knowledge on your specific question.

I did want to however just make sure for the benefit of healthy discussion regarding sex that sex is not addictive of itself. Pornography is harmful and can be extremely addictive.

The act of sex, between a married consenting couple is wonderful and ordained of god. It can however like most things in life (sport/driving/serving in the church) when thoughtless or pushed to the extreme cause problems.

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sex is not addictive of itself. Pornography is harmful and can be extremely addictive.
From what I understand, as the APA debated this issue for the DSM-V, they ended up not making a distinction between "sex addiction" and "porn addiction." Which suggests to me, contrary to your assertion that porn is extremely addictive, that the APA was not convinced that porn was addictive. On the contrary, they were convinced that porn was not truly addictive. Do you think they were mistaken, then?
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As I said I can't comment on the APA or DSM-V as I am not American and do not have an understanding of their work or role in US society.

I was just picking up on your assumption in your previous statement where you said:

and just to correct you that the OP has not mentioned sex being addictive.

The church stance is quite clear the pornography is unacceptable anytime but the act of sex is perfectly acceptable between a married and consenting couple is a wonderful gift and encouraged by church leaders and by the scriptures.

Sex is only be harmful when not bridled by a loving caring marriage

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To be clear, the APA concluded that there was insufficient evidence to include sexual addiction as a psychiatric disorder. This doesn't rule out the possibility of its inclusion in future editions. It means that the body of work on the subject is inconclusive.

The DSM still recognizes that distress can be caused by what we term a sexual or pornography addiction. The APA as presently poised seems prepared to consider the source of that distress to be multi-factorial.

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Funny, my wife is not addicted to porn by any means but some women where she works were talking about how great a book they had read was - '50 Shades of Gray', so when my wife went to the library this weekend she came home with it.

Having heard about it (here I think or maybe on another board) I asked her if she was going to make an appointment with the Bishop or should I make one for her.

Not knowing what I meant she gave me a funny look and asked what I meant, so I picked up the book, opened to a random page and handed it to her. She looked at it for about 10 seconds and took the book right back to the library.

Satan is very good at moving people one baby step at a time towards where they should not be; TV Shows, commercials, billboards, radio shows, and 'popular' books and music can all move us away from the Spirit, its up to us to be vigilant.

Edited by mnn727
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I'm glad to hear more people addressing this subject lately. Women can become addicted to pornography just like men - and not just the kind in literature, which is what we usually hear about when "women" and "pornography" are in the same sentence. Several years ago when I was being co-dependent and checking up on my husband's internet history, I got addicted to it myself, and it took me a while to get disentangled from it. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to tell a bishop. He was kind, but it was so embarrassing, partly because I felt like I must be an especially flawed and bad person since I was the only woman I had ever heard of with that problem.

The New Era recently published an article about this topic that I thought was very well done. https://www.lds.org/youth/article/my-journey-to-overcome-pornography?lang=eng

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To be clear, the APA concluded that there was insufficient evidence to include sexual addiction as a psychiatric disorder. This doesn't rule out the possibility of its inclusion in future editions. It means that the body of work on the subject is inconclusive.
You are correct, MOE. It is technically not a rejection of sex/porn as an addiction, but merely a lack of evidence. I understand that previous editions of the DSM included sexual addictions or hypersexuality or something like that, so, in this regard, they are maybe saying that including this in previous versions was premature.

I think in some ways, I am intrigued by the difference between the APA's conclusion and some of what I read in the church and other Christian writers/bloggers/etc. For example, I recently read an article written by a bishop in and LDS-oriented magazine where he stated that "Medical science has established that pornography is an addiction more powerful than heroin or cocaine." as if it were fact. I think it boils down to -- I find it interesting that the same research that so easily convinces us that porn is very addictive failed to convince the APA committee.

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  • 1 month later...

Being a religious internet community, I thought you might be interested in this article: Strong Religious Beliefs May Drive Self-Perception of Being Addicted to Online Pornography : News : Parent Herald

Main article abstract: Transgression as Addiction: Religiosity and Moral Disapproval as Predictors of Perceived Addiction to Pornography - Online First - Springer

I found it interesting that the authors claim a correlation between "religiosity" and perceived porn addiction. Not sure that I know what it means, but it was interesting.

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Being a religious internet community, I thought you might be interested in this article: Strong Religious Beliefs May Drive Self-Perception of Being Addicted to Online Pornography : News : Parent Herald

Main article abstract: Transgression as Addiction: Religiosity and Moral Disapproval as Predictors of Perceived Addiction to Pornography - Online First - Springer

I found it interesting that the authors claim a correlation between "religiosity" and perceived porn addiction. Not sure that I know what it means, but it was interesting.

Without reading the links or anything, I can see clearly why this is.

Outside of religiosity, there is not much moral impediment to pornography. So, there is not much desire to abstain from it. Inside religiosity, there is a moral restriction to pornography and this is where you will find those that try to avoid it and can't.

One doesn't really realize they are addicted to something - and this includes texting on your cellphone - until you try to do without it and you realize you can't.

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You may be right, that it is simply a case where addiction would not be noticed until there was a motivation to abstain -- especially with something like pornography where religiosity calls for complete abstinence without room for "in moderation".

In the same way, I may be addicted to donuts, ice cream, and other forms of junk food, but I will never know it because I have not motivation to abstain 100%. I don't view these foods as sinful, I don't consume them to excess, I feel that I am in good health and not overweight.

Is it ok to call something an "addiction" that is causing no harm other than the perception of "sinfulness"?

How does the idea that "you won't see it as an addiction until you decide to try and stop" inform or change the way we deal with porn users?

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You may be right, that it is simply a case where addiction would not be noticed until there was a motivation to abstain -- especially with something like pornography where religiosity calls for complete abstinence without room for "in moderation".

In the same way, I may be addicted to donuts, ice cream, and other forms of junk food, but I will never know it because I have not motivation to abstain 100%. I don't view these foods as sinful, I don't consume them to excess, I feel that I am in good health and not overweight.

Is it ok to call something an "addiction" that is causing no harm other than the perception of "sinfulness"?

How does the idea that "you won't see it as an addiction until you decide to try and stop" inform or change the way we deal with porn users?

There's a catchphrase in 12-step addiction programs:

"When is a problem a problem? When it's a problem."

That simple.

_______________

A problem I personally have, no pun intended, is that addiction/physical dependence is an actual physical reaction of the brain: Neurons literally growing more receptors for the substance at hand. This is something most people's brains do to a certain extent. It's how we build up tolerances. It IS tolerance. And it is exceptionally rare for a person's brain to be unable to do this.

Bell curve time.

Rare = unable to build a tolerance

Most = able to build a tolerance

Rare = unfettered tolerance

That LAST one is "classic addiction". The "One is too many; One thousand never enough".

The CENTER one is where one finds both heavy users (who literally can quit whenever they want to) AND another subset of addiction. People who have finite tolerance, but become dependent at high levels (cancer patients are a great example). This second group of addicts ARE physically addicted, will go through lethal withdrawal, and need to be backed off of their meds and slowly weaned down. The difference between them and OTHER "addicts"? They can continue using any substance after being weaned off, and not get addicted again. Even using the same substance. As the neurons shut down the extra receptors.

By calling something an addiction... A person is actually describing a physical process/state of being.

To call something an addiction that ISNT ticks me off.

Because it's wrong.

It's like calling a car a motorcycle, or a house a potted plant, or a spider a banana.

There is MONUMENTAL difference between addiction and undesirable.

Q

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The problem within our religious culture is that to confess about a sin of this nature implies the person is out of control and immediately considered and addict and therefore treated as suspect, which then feeds into the cycle of a person is afraid to come clean, simply because they know they will be shunned.

The shunning does far more harm than good, even if there is some kind of poetic justice involved. Outside of our religiously enforced abstinence, pornography use is not considered a major problem immediately when mentioned, simply because there is not a culture of public shaming, self loathing or a feeling of failure. It of course depends on the severity of the problem and its nature, but in the end, making the connection between crack use and someone being afraid to confess to pornography is too much of a stretch as white washing confessions as addictions with the adage that they and the people are all similar is silly.

Our social context for perfection, while a notable goal, seems to do a lot of harm for those people seeking to be accepted for who they are and gain social support for their unease. Tough on crime approach seems to make far more criminals than deterring them.

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