The Sin Next To Murder

[okcthunderx]

I have been dealing with pornography addiction for quite awhile. I am tempted hourly. Through all of my efforts to stay clean and pure, the relapse always occurs. My mind cannot recollect the amount of times I have been to the bishop's office, or even my therapist's office about this and many other problems.

How in the world do I truly, truly, truly forsake my sins?? I feel godly sorrow. I know what it is. I could write a book over the emotions. I am "beneath the dust of the earth", wanting to know how I can promise God that I will forsake them if I have learned from past relapses that I will not follow through with my covenants? I am endowed, by the way.

I want to wage war against this plague. There is nothing more that I desire than to shed this grotesque depiction of women from my life. It has taken its toll. This disease has exhausted me to the lowest I have ever been. I emphasize from my above point that I exert so much of my energy to combat this evil.

Also, Why does LDS literature make sexual temptation seem so black and white? The implications I grasp are that you are either a sinner or an angelic mortal - there is no other association. It feels like nothing else is taken into consideration.

In my situation, I have been bullied throughout my life because of my appearance. Almost ten years later, I have threatened to kill myself, absolutely no friends (we moved to Utah after my mission), and I have spent nearly seven months in my basement to isolate myself. I cannot even go to Church because of my mentality. If my family even suggests that I walk the dog, I have a panic attack.

Does Heavenly Father and Christ take this into account? Is the law black and white; "letter of the law"?

This last question that is the main reason to why I am here: If I am truly penitent and can forsake my sins, including sexual transgression, can I inherit the highest degree of glory and become like my Father in Heaven one day?

[Dravin]

If you served a mission you should be able to answer that last question yourself. What would you have told an investigator who asked that question?

[okcthunderx]

I was in the mission field for three weeks. During two of those weeks, my Mission President asked me to stay at home and recuperate my strength. Due to medical conditions I could not continue, despite my efforts to stay.

[skippy740]

Stop trying to save yourself. You cannot do it alone. I know you're counseling with your Bishop and a therapist... but you're still trying to do it by yourself, without the Atonement.

Remember that the Bishop provides ecclesiastical clearance... versus forgiveness. Forgiveness only comes from the Lord. You have to FEEL that in your heart. Your Bishop and therapist cannot give you that.

Get the Kindle edition of this book. It's only $6 and start reading. It will help you gain a better perspective on the Atonement and what it really means.

Believing Christ the Parable of the Bicycle and Other Good News: Stephen E Robinson: 9780875796345: Amazon.com: Books

Edited January 31, 2014 by skippy740

[Quin]

Would it make a difference if it was the least important sin on the planet? Instead of where you've placed it next to murder?

Sometimes a thing has power over us, so we turn it into Goliath.

Give it even more power over us.

Make it scarier, worse, & more awful.

Impossible.

Because of all of the power we give it, because of all of the obsessing & fear we pour into it, it does indeed become the biggest baddest thing around.

In substance abuse programs, the inverse often happens: Glorifying. Which creates the justification to return. Just as the anti-glorifying biggest baddest scariest, which is usually a kind of self fulfilling prophecy, gives reason to never leave in the first place. After all...who could?

Just something to think about.

It doesn't have to be the end of the world to still be a problem needing sorting.

Q

[Crash]

First, a pornography addiction is not second to murder, unless you are grouping all other types of sins as being second to murder. That spot is reserved for adultery, in the literal sense.

Next, you are not the only man or woman in the church with this addiction or temptation. Third, Satan's greatest tool is not temptation but rather discouragement, to make you feel completely worthless.

You need some positive influence. Get out of your basement. I went through a very rough patch in my twenties after having three serious breakups with girlfriends. I retreated into my parent's basement, too. I went inactive for several years. A few years later I began doing a lot of service. Nothing gets your mind off of your problems like helping others. I got involved with helping youth, both in the church and coaching track and field. It totally helped me get out of my rut. Find something you can do to help others, something that you enjoy.

Lastly, never give up. Read Mosiah, particularly 26:30, I think, which reads, "Yea, as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me." It's a great scripture to remember.

Edited January 31, 2014 by Crash
Correct spelling errors

[Dravin]

I was in the mission field for three weeks. During two of those weeks, my Mission President asked me to stay at home and recuperate my strength. Due to medical conditions I could not continue, despite my efforts to stay.

Okay, then read the section of Preach My Gospel on the Plan of Salvation, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Pay attention to the associated scriptures. If you don't know where your hard copy is, it is available online: Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Missionary Service 

[missmollymormon]

You need to get out and stop focusing so much on your addiction. The more you focus on it, the more it will breed. Panic attacks are horrible, I have been through them myself. The good news is they dont last forever. I havent had one in five years. The best way to deal with panic attacks are to focus on the NOW and not the source of your anxieties. In my case, my anxieties were due to a rape, obviously yours are to do with your addiction. Once you begin to focus on the NOW, you will soon notice that not only are your panic attacks subsiding, but so is the reason for the initial anxiety. Living in the present is what helped me heal.

There is a difference between repentance and downright bashing yourself. You seem to be doing the former. Ask the lord for forgiveness, and try your best from there. You are hunan and are prone to mistakes, repent but dont dwell. Rid yourself of any means of viewing pornography. If its on the internet, make sure your computer is in a public area of your home or limit the amount of time you are on the net. Net surf for a specific purpose and not just from boredom.

There is a beautiful big world out there. The lord wants you to enjoy it!

All the best

[MarginOfError]

For the most part, I disagree with the interpretation that sexual sin is "the sin next to murder." You can read more about that on my blog.

As far as advice for your current situation, I don't really have a lot. Read up on addictions like alcohol and drug addictions. This is a life long struggle and you need to stop viewing success and failure in terms of whether or not you looked at pornography today. Success is measured in the length of time you are able to hold healthy, positive habits in place of the pornography habit.

One of the facts you have to face as an addict is that you are more likely to resort to pornography when you are stressed. Beating yourself up will cause more stress. Don't do it. You can accept responsibility for your sins and acknowledge your guilt without throwing yourself into a pit of despair.

I do not believe the Lord will summarily condemn you because you succumbed to temptation today. He will only condemn you if you give up. Keep your chin up, look to the horizon where you want to be, and keep going that direction.

[Magen_Avot]

okcthunderx,

You've gone to a lot of others,... now, just go to Christ!

No matter who it is, we can't go to Him without all the baggage we carry. It's inconsistant with our sense of logic, I know, but what else can we do to find peace and freedom?

If you go to him with true remorse He will forgive you every time. It's what He does!

Labor to get it out in front of Him and take your time to talk it over,... and just ask Him to forgive you. This can be so difficult, and He knows it. You might want a "large" hand towel if you're like me. I just can't NOT bawl.

When you feel His forgiveness, and you will, don't look back. Look to Christ. And remember, you will be forgiven. Continue looking to Christ and 'flee' temptation because it will come again and keep fighting it in ways that have been discussed already. Get rid of all the 'things' that give you access IMMEDIATELY if not sooner.

As you struggle against it you will get stronger even though it seems impossible, but you can succeed. You really can. Make the path to Christ your daily journey and pray to become like Him. Make it personal because it is. It's your journey and no one else can support you like Him, but it helps when you have others too.

So repent! It's what we do.

Edited February 2, 2014 by Magen_Avot

[Lakumi]

you have to combat the root of the problem, in a situation like this, or it will never go away.

To me it sounds like depression-or built into depression.

And by now the two are linked. Back when I was younger, though I was an athiest I didn't want to rely on pornography in lieu of real people, I also knew the depression held me away from real people and made my self esteem low so building up myself was not in my mindset (depression gives you a strange mindset).

And while my road of depression recovery (done by myself without any aid of medicines or proffessionals) took a long time, and lead me places the church would see as no better then before, it did help the root of my fear of talking to people and the things that come with it.

Combat the depression first if its there (and it sure sounds like it is) and once your mind is clear the pornography thing will be easier to overcome.