Antoniette Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Hello girls, I'm a single woman, 30 years old and gave up the idea of a married life simply because I know no one!!!!I mean, people are getting marry at the age og 22, 25 tops. So guys for me... I don't like to party so I never attend church activities involving those activities. I work full time and love to be at home... love to study etcBut I want a family...Sad isn't it?Any inspirational replies in here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 While church culture is marrying young... Here's what I'm seeing outside of church culture (USA)20's = college & career (& not serious dating)30's = career & serious dating 40's = marriage & familyIt's honestly a little wacky for me, moving in between my church & secular friends, as the cohort group patterns are sooooo different. With my secular friends, it's only IN one's thirties that one tends to start dating seriously. Even then, few are actually having children under 40. I got married & started my family in my 20's, then got divorced in my 30's. I don't personally want to get married again, but do get asked out a bunch ONLY when I'm actually out and about meeting & talking to people. If you're not getting out and meeting people, then how are you supposed to meet some one?But, hope?Yah, sure. I'm going to 3 or 4 weddings a year ringht now. 37-42 crowd. At least most have the sense to let us buy a LBD as our bridesmaid dress! Which is just pure irony. 20s and too broke to live = expensive taffeta tangerine monstrosity to only wear once30s/40s and actually set up, and it's the LBD that can be worn a thousand times and still look classy. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antoniette Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I just feel, sometimes hopeless. But I'm very content having the life that I have today. With a college degree, a lovely home... But from time to time I feel awful thinking "Hey girl, your are not making any progress"!!!! But guys want a house keeper, not a real life woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Hello girls, I'm a single woman, 30 years old and gave up the idea of a married life simply because I know no one!!!!I mean, people are getting marry at the age og 22, 25 tops. So guys for me... I don't like to party so I never attend church activities involving those activities. I work full time and love to be at home... love to study etcBut I want a family...Sad isn't it?Any inspirational replies in here...Their is Hope 4 You!!!!!!No it's not sad!!! You are happy the way you are?? or....are you???? I been in the church almost 35 yrs. I was shy when I joined, people who know me 2 day wouldnt think I was shy. The church is my life were I socialize most of the time, but I have friends out of the church as well. I truly dont think getting married young is good. MY belief is no younger then 24. Though it has worked for many who were younger. What ever age a person gets married 20's, 3o's. 40', 50's plus doesn't matter, What matter is getting the kind of person you want to build your life with, or eternity with. Nothing wrong with being a home body. But you need to go out and mingle with 2 make girlfriends + boys as friends as well as to get dates. What type of man are you looking for? Dating helps you to figure this out ,What type of man you want to build your life with, and or eternal life? Dating is a way to find that person ,we all have stuff, issues, dating is away of figuring out what kind of stuff you will put up with and what kind you wont.Pray to the Lord to help you find someone good for you. Then trust him!!! Remember also that it is in the Lord's time not ours. Hey I'm in my mid 50's havn't been married yet, is it hard it is, it can get me down, I do get lonely @ times but I rather be single then have to go thru a div. In the mean time work on being the best you, work on things youd like to learn. be happy enjoy life....I hoped I help you some.Don't give up on getting married, work for it go to the single activites @ church. Mingle, mingle get out of your shell.... Edited February 4, 2014 by Roseslipper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antoniette Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Thank you. I'm shy plus my friends (the kind o friends that are like family) are not members, I HATE single activities because I get bored really quick.I would like a man who supports me, love me for who I'm a not with some idealistic image of what i am. I have MANY flaws, and hard working man, caring but not sofocating, with a profession - and with a respect for what I do as a professional- just a normal guy to get old with and spend eternity.Is that too much? Am I beign picky? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I just feel, sometimes hopeless. But I'm very content having the life that I have today. With a college degree, a lovely home... But from time to time I feel awful thinking "Hey girl, your are not making any progress"!!!! But guys want a house keeper, not a real life womanLOL...Trust me... Men are as varied in their likes and dislikes, wants and needs, passions and personality as women are. Even when there is an overriding culture, there is still a ton of variation. As a case in point, my family was "feminist" a couple hundred years before feminism was en vogue. This is due, almost entirely, to the men in my family. Because back when they had e right to restrict their wives to the home & feminine pursuits, they didn't. The women in my family tend to be strong obnoxious sorts, who choose strong / cocky men who like a challenge. As such my great grandfather not only paid for my great grandmother's college education, he also bullied her way into medical school in the 1890's. Then there was the 2nd Trail of Tears that DIDNT happen, even earlier, because the tribes that were being ousted had married heavily into a few Scottish clans. When the US Govt. evicted the tribes, not just the husbands, but the entire extended clans collectively gave the US Govt the finger, packed up their wagons, and migrated west. (It's part of why the PacNW is so Scots heavy. Even when there was just one member married into the tribes, hundreds of Scots packed up their families, and turned an attempted genocide into an exodus of thousands. On the west coast, one sometimes finds bagpipe players at PowWows. If you've ever wondered why, that's it.). So in the long tradition of my family, where girls tend to play with the boys, and vice versa, I signed up to be a soldier out of highschool. And any "all boys" or "all men" thoughts in my head were pretty radically wiped away. The USMC is only 4% women. Which meant I spent my days around hundreds of men & boys. All of whom, even in a very homogenizing military group, were very different from each other. Sure. There are trends and groups. Like there are groups who want XYZ out of women, and groups who want ABC out of them, and groups who want A-L, or M-Z. But not only are there different groups wanting different things, but then even within those groups individuals want different things. If you find that all the men you're dating want XYZ, then I suggest you start looking for men who don't. Rather than thinking that ALL men are like the ones you've broken up with. Because, trust me, men are as different from each other as women are. Q Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) Hello girls, I'm a single woman, 30 years old and gave up the idea of a married life simply because I know no one!!!!I mean, people are getting marry at the age og 22, 25 tops. So guys for me... I don't like to party so I never attend church activities involving those activities. I work full time and love to be at home... love to study etcBut I want a family...Sad isn't it?Any inspirational replies in here...I'm a salesman... but I can't sell anything because I don't know anyone, call anyone, and don't go anywhere where there are people who might want what I've got.But I want to sell...Sad, isn't it?If you don't put yourself out there, then wanting what you want is like winking at a girl in the dark. Only you know what you're doing. :) Edited February 4, 2014 by skippy740 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Thank you. I'm shy plus my friends (the kind o friends that are like family) are not members, I HATE single activities because I get bored really quick.I would like a man who supports me, love me for who I'm a not with some idealistic image of what i am. I have MANY flaws, and hard working man, caring but not sofocating, with a profession - and with a respect for what I do as a professional- just a normal guy to get old with and spend eternity.Is that too much? Am I beign picky?It's easier to be picky... when you meet a lot of people. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I just feel, sometimes hopeless. But I'm very content having the life that I have today. With a college degree, a lovely home... But from time to time I feel awful thinking "Hey girl, your are not making any progress"!!!! But guys want a house keeper, not a real life womanBased on how many guys you have talked to?Please don't put words in guys mouths or heads without actually TALKING to them first.BTW, a real life woman IS a stay-at-home mom. Never demean the Chief Executive Household Officer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I just feel, sometimes hopeless. But I'm very content having the life that I have today. With a college degree, a lovely home... But from time to time I feel awful thinking "Hey girl, your are not making any progress"!!!! But guys want a house keeper, not a real life womanThank you. I'm shy plus my friends (the kind o friends that are like family) are not members, I HATE single activities because I get bored really quick.I would like a man who supports me, love me for who I'm a not with some idealistic image of what i am. I have MANY flaws, and hard working man, caring but not sofocating, with a profession - and with a respect for what I do as a professional- just a normal guy to get old with and spend eternity.Is that too much? Am I beign picky?You're not too picky. But you might have a case of "I have a low opinion of men".I have a dad and 2 brothers and my husband has a dad and 2 brothers. None of them "want a house keeper not a real life woman". And, besides, real life women are house keepers.One of my favorite Phil Robertson quote - A girl who can cook and carries her bible... now there's a fine woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I'm the house keeper, no one knows where I want things to go!No one knows just how I want my food, or just how I like my clothes washed and folded.My female friends can't cook at all, but I, as a man, am quite good at it.Some guys do the cooking, the times are a changing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Two of my good friends married women who were "older". For one friend it was also his first marriage. For the second, he was divorced and she had never been married. First gal was 30-31, second was 38 I think. Don't give up hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antoniette Posted February 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I'm sorry if I offended some of you. Don't get me wrong, house work has great value, it's just that I can't see myself doing it. I love to work, my job is amazing.I need some advice on how to meet people with my "shy" shortcoming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 (edited) I'm sorry if I offended some of you. Don't get me wrong, house work has great value, it's just that I can't see myself doing it. I love to work, my job is amazing.I need some advice on how to meet people with my "shy" shortcomingBeefche and Dravin are living in marital bliss to each other. They met on lds.net.With that said, it would be a challenge to find somebody to marry you and become your house keeper. Yet, somebody has to keep the house... Edited February 4, 2014 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crash Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 One of my favorite Phil Robertson quote - A girl who can cook and carries her bible... now there's a fine woman.Anatess, my opinion of you just jumped tenfold! Antoniette, although I am a man I can totally relate to you. I have never been the type of person to go out and meet a lot of people, though I do meet new people because of my work. I am very much a home-building type of person, like you. I got married when I was 36 but it didn't last long. However, we did have a son and nothing is more important to me than being a father and raising him. I have sacrificed a lot in order to be a stay-at-home dad every other week (I share custody of him). I rarely think about going out because my focus is on my family. It would be great to have a woman like what Anatess wrote about but I wouldn't necessarily be considered the type of man many women in the U.S. are looking for. I have baggage, and many women in the U.S. want a man all to themselves. I guess it might also have something to do with the fact that I have a long beard, too. Anyway, be proactive. Perhaps you could try to meet a member of the church online? I know that cultures are different in other countries, and it sounds like men in Spain are different from men in other places. I'd almost argue that women rule the household in the U.S. At the end of the day, marriage should be a partnership. That's how I look at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I guess it might also have something to do with the fact that I have a long beard, too. WHOA!!! A real life Robertson redneck! Okay, okay... this has got to be said...I have tons of cousins... and they need visas. Won't work for Antoinette as she's not in America. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ditd Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Hi AntoinetteThere is always hope for everybody! And you're not being too picky!My wife and I met when we were 27 and married at 28. Many of my friends met their partners in their mid-late 30's.Up until the age of 26 I really struggled with even getting a date with anybody, member or non-member. One thing that I found helped was causal dating; just spending time doing a mutual activity.I really enjoyed going to mid-singles events which helped me progress socially so I was less shy and more comfortable dating. All of this time in the church social groups really helped prepare me for when I met my wifeThere is somebody out there that heavenly father has for you (maybe even several people) for you to be happy with :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garryw Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have some anecdotal evidence:I know an LDS woman who married at the age of 35 to the most amazing man on the planet and lived happily ever after. She happens to be my wife.So it's possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 There are LDS singles websites, you're not stuck to your local Singles Ward these days. They've been around almost since the internet started and have a good track record. DW and I met on one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 My cousin and his wife are both amazing people. They met in their late 30's and have 3 beautiful children and a great life together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I have some anecdotal evidence:I know an LDS woman who married at the age of 35 to the most amazing man on the planet and lived happily ever after. She happens to be my wife.So it's possible.All this time I thought you were divorced based on numerous posts you have made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 I just feel, sometimes hopeless. But I'm very content having the life that I have today. With a college degree, a lovely home... But from time to time I feel awful thinking "Hey girl, your are not making any progress"!!!! But guys want a house keeper, not a real life womanHey, sometimes I feel the inverse. I married at 26, have a baby, and am doing nothing with my college degree and we are living with a relative. In some ways I envy you.I guess we can't have it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Hey, sometimes I feel the inverse. I married at 26, have a baby, and am doing nothing with my college degree and we are living with a relative. In some ways I envy you.I guess we can't have it all.But I envy you.I married at 26 too, have 2 kids, and doing nothing with my college degrees (okay, that's a positive thing because I chose my work so I can be with the kids). I would love to live with a relative so I can sell this upside-down house left-over from the housing market crash. You've got the good life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 But I envy you.I married at 26 too, have 2 kids, and doing nothing with my college degrees (okay, that's a positive thing because I chose my work so I can be with the kids). I would love to live with a relative so I can sell this upside-down house left-over from the housing market crash. You've got the good life!Granted, she does live in a nice condo area with a pool that will open up in the coming months... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 4, 2014 Report Share Posted February 4, 2014 Granted, she does live in a nice condo area with a pool that will open up in the coming months...Now there's an entry to Eowyn's Awesome! thread. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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