lagarthaaz Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I have just received yet another 'invitation' to view some products at a church member's house, along with a separate 'invitation' to view some videos plugging herbal products. I swear not a month goes buy when another church member isn't 'inviting' me to buy something. Last month I was invited to a 'girls night' and was happy because I was actually being included in a friendship group at church. Then once I accepted, I was told, "oh, by the way I will have a friend there who is selling environmentally friendly cleaning products, but of course you're under no obligation to buy, it really is just a reason to get us all together." The month prior I was invited to 'help a single mother' who was trying to get her start selling products... when I said I wasn't interested then the guilt-trip was used - "oh, you wouldn't come over even to help a single mother?". Um - NO. Anyway, I'm really tired of being pestered by church members trying to sell me stuff. Makeup, cleaning products, scented candles, educational toys, kitchen products, lingerie, time-share apartments, the list keeps growing. Does anyone else have this problem or am I just overreacting? I'm seriously tired of it! Personally, I don't think we should be using our church contacts to sell anything as I find it unethical. It also makes me feel a bit demeaned because most of these invitations come from people who barely even say hello at church - but when they want to sell something, well, suddenly they want me in their house for a couple of hours. I have a husband with a home-based business who has not been getting much work for a long time, but I would no more think of plugging his services to church members than fly to the moon...to me that seems exploitative and church is just not the place to be networking for the purpose of making money. Again, maybe I'm weird? Any suggestions for how to deal with this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 For some reason the church seems to be a haven for MLM schemes. For many of the members involved in MLM's their only major friendships exist inside the church. Hence, the situation you are describing. They are not to use ward lists for business purposes, but they know most of the people in their ward. For the record I hate MLM's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anddenex Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Doesn't bother me...I either go...or politely decline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 It doesn't bother me either. I've been that single mom attempting to find some way to supplement income to support kids. I go to some just for the socialization. If I'm really not interested, I'll just decline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notquiteperfect Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Yep - it's all in how you view it. If you see it as a sales push, it is. I choose to look at it as a chance for social interaction. If the invite is from people that don't know me well, I figure it's just a chance for that to change. You can go and have a nice time without buying anything. I do agree that the guilt trip was out of line. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mnn727 Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Its happened a couple times, once about a decade ago we moved into a new ward and were having the 'moving blues'. After a few weeks we got invited to a couple who was around our age home for dinner. We thought Great, we're getting to know people in our new ward - only to be hit with a sales pitch for a diet program - yes we're both a few pounds overweight, but my gosh; You invite us over to dinner and tell us we're too fat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I'm with lagarthaaz on the "feeling used" thing. If you don't even bother to get to know me and then you invite me to one of those sales things I would feel you're just using me. Now, if we're friends, even if it's just a chat session in-between Sunday classes, then sure invite me. If I like the product or the company I'll go, if I don't then I won't.I'm an Arbonne "consultant". I don't use the ward roster to sell Arbonne. I don't even hold parties. I just go by word of mouth. Somebody wants to know what I'm using on my face, I tell them and I tell them that I sell them too. And so it just became known at church that if you want Arbonne stuff you come to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Here in Utah you don't even need to use the ward directory. Everyone in the ward is within about a 2-4 block radius and you all know each other. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Anyway, I'm really tired of being pestered by church members trying to sell me stuff. Makeup, cleaning products, scented candles, educational toys, kitchen products, lingerie, time-share apartments, the list keeps growing. Does anyone else have this problem or am I just overreacting? I'm seriously tired of it! I don't think being tired or annoyed over it is a an overreaction. MLMs, at the initial stage for most people, are mostly about turning relationships into money, usually to the detriment of the relationship if the marketer isn't careful*. Whether it is a problem or not depends on if Church resources are being used in the efforts. If they are, then that's a big no-no.*There are people who don't do this, these people are successful marketers who still have friends and unstrained family relationships. If your business plan is, "Spam everyone I know, even remotely, with invites." you most likely won't do well.Personally, I don't think we should be using our church contacts to sell anything as I find it unethical. It also makes me feel a bit demeaned because most of these invitations come from people who barely even say hello at church - but when they want to sell something, well, suddenly they want me in their house for a couple of hours. If they aren't using Church resources it isn't unethical as annoying as it may be. Well, I suppose some of the deceptive tactics can be an ethical issue but the idea of selling to people you know who happen to go to Church with you isn't. You'd have to get inside the head of the person doing the selling to know if they're mining the ward directory or remembering your name from the ward Christmas party and looking you up in the phone book. Any suggestions for how to deal with this?If it is a straight up invitation to a marketing party: Just say no.If it is a stealth invite to a marketing party: Say no as soon as you know about it.If it's a stealth invite marketing party and you're actually there: Leave.If you suspect that Church resources are being used in these marketing efforts: Talk to the Bishop.Saying no may mean putting up with guilt trips and puppy dog eyes, but if someone is going to let you not being interested in their product damage your relationship... well, I'm of the opinion you're probably better off without that relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Here in Utah you don't even need to use the ward directory. Everyone in the ward is within about a 2-4 block radius and you all know each other. :)I should move there and be the only one no one knows:lol:to answer the OPs question, whenever someone tries to sell me something, I then try and sell them somethingreally throws them off and usually makes them go away lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I personally prefer doing business with someone I know. When I need electrical help - I will call a former ward member I know - it is the same for cabinet work or finishing carpentry, dry wall, cement, legal advice and insurance for my personal residence or investment properties. I use a young man in our ward to mow my lawn and keep my yard. Interestingly a former girlfriend of one of my sons is our cleaning lady.As for home businesses or direct sales - I will tell you all one thing. A person that works for themselves and run a business from their home (or even elsewhere) - They will work 10 times as hard at their customer service than an employee at any establishment. Sometimes it is worth paying a little extra for outstanding service and convenience. But if the service or products are not of quality or value - the problem is not with the slick person selling such products and services - it is with the consumer that is unable to look such a person in the eye and pleasantly kindly and definitively say with a smile, "No Thank You."The Traveler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleWyvern Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 (edited) Well, Handbook 2 does say this:Leaders should not distribute directories outside the stake or ward boundaries or permit their use for commercial or political purposes.Which seems to rule out any use of the ward directory for commercial purposes.EDIT: I'd talk to your bishop if you're concerned that your personal information is being used in this way. Edited February 5, 2014 by LittleWyvern Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Even in my new ward in Houston TX. No one has even hinted at me buying anything of theirs. I can see how you may feel the insincerity. I would too, if I was invited to come over only to have a pitch made. We had some friends that we invited over once and after dinner, in a very serious tone we said to them "now the reason we invited you over is that we recently have gotten into selling water filters, not only do we sell these great water filters, but we sell the license to sell the water filters and we wanted to know what you think...." and we simply watched them for a moment. Now my friend knew my humor and he can smell a prank, but his wife was just getting to know us and started stuttering and talking, trying to figure out a way to tell us no. It was priceless. They ended up being our best friends ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 For some reason the church seems to be a haven for MLM schemes. For many of the members involved in MLM's their only major friendships exist inside the church. Hence, the situation you are describing. They are not to use ward lists for business purposes, but they know most of the people in their ward. For the record I hate MLM's.^^^ this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Fortunately, we don't get hassled by such endeavours because we don't mingle with members. We go to church and come straight home. And if someone did abuse my church membership as a way to sell their programme or products, I'd be very disappointed and I would flat out say: Please don't ever contact me if you're selling something. I'm not interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I think it depends on the person. Some people are pushy and rude about it and others aren't. The rude ones are usually the ones that think they are going to get rich selling stuff and building their pyramid. The "nice" ones are just the people who sell the sruff for fun or to get discounts on the products they like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharky Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 (edited) Most of these such invitations don't bother me ... they get ignored much like the other "junk" mail & "junk" e-mail solicitations we receive.If I get the invitation from a member I am facebook friends with, then I tend to consider it a little more seriously. If it comes via snail-mail, the senders name/return address determines the priority I give to when I open it.No home phone, so my address does not show up in the phone book either!The invites that REALY irritate me? The invites that come via e-mail to my e-mail address that I created specifically for "church stuff".I have an email address that was created specifically for church stuff ... if I wasn't in a leadership position my phone # & e-mail would NOT show up on the ward or stake stuff on LDS.org or anywhere in the MLS; however, since I am they do (they didn't use to!).Our address is still marked as private/leadership only and I created an e-mail specifically for Church that does show up to ward & stake membersData (names, addresses, phone #, e-mails) on the church website & "published" thru ward/stake directories (& available thru the MLS system) is supposed to be used ONLY for church purposes ... So when I get an e-mail at that e-mail address inviting me to some such type of thing, I know where they got the contact info from & that irritates me greatly! Edited February 5, 2014 by Sharky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I have heard if you want to be left alone on a airplane the best thing to do is to carry a bunch of Amway catalogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 My social circle is primarily with neighbors, most of whom are LDS, so by default I get invited to those kinds of things. If I don't want to go, I don't. More often I go to eat and socialize and most of the time don't order anything. Contrary to how Traveler feels, I try to avoid doing business with people I know. Hard when I'm one of the only piano teachers in the tri-ward area (heh), but when it comes to hiring people out, we generally avoid friends, family, and ward members. If things don't go well, I don't want that weirdness between us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 I have some strong feelings here where I realize that, technically, the MLM was not to blame and the scenario is much bigger.My uncle made his millions in an MLM. He is still doing quite well, but is always pestering people to join. He's very active in the church, but also uses the church to get people to sign up for the business. To him, if a person is in his company, they are a great person. My aunt (his sister) has a lot of issues and lost custody of her two daughters. My uncle used his MLM connections to find them an adopted home... that wound up being horribly abusive. So much of the ward was in this MLM that talking to the bishop did nothing. One sister is still active in the Church, the other wants nothing to do with it as no one in the ward would take the abuse stories seriously. Yes, a complex situation, but it has given me a dim view of the MLM culture.Sales parties are okay with me if I know you beyond being a sales pitch, but if that's the case, it is no good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 My social circle is primarily with neighbors, most of whom are LDS, so by default I get invited to those kinds of things. If I don't want to go, I don't. More often I go to eat and socialize and most of the time don't order anything. Contrary to how Traveler feels, I try to avoid doing business with people I know. Hard when I'm one of the only piano teachers in the tri-ward area (heh), but when it comes to hiring people out, we generally avoid friends, family, and ward members. If things don't go well, I don't want that weirdness between us.Agreed. We also choose not to lend money to family or dear friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Agreed. We also choose not to lend money to family or dear friends.Do you consider me a dear friend?If not, can I borrow some money? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarlJibbs Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Agreed. We also choose not to lend money to family or dear friends.What about people whom you only know their online name Bini? Or in other words... complete strangers? It appears that I am on your "okay to lend to" list! Yah! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 Do you consider me a dear friend?If not, can I borrow some money?NO!You already have money - LOTS OF IT.You can't fool me with that iron get-up. You're Tony Stark, after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted February 5, 2014 Report Share Posted February 5, 2014 http://www.askgramps.org/18222/members-stay-away-multilevel-marketing-companies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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