Getting DRAMA for not liking/buying a product!

[lagarthaaz]

I posted a couple of months ago about church members in my ward who regularly contact me (and everyone else in the ward) when they are trying to sell a new product.

Someone sent me a link for herbal products being touted by an individual and company that I researched and found to be a bit of a slick snake-oil enterprise. I politely said I wasn't interested, wished her every success and thought that was that. She then sent me even more links once again telling me I really should give them a try.

A bit cranky by that point, I replied and said that based on what I had read I really wasn't impressed with the company or founder. I also said that I felt it was unethical to use church contacts as potential buyers. It was mean, but I mentioned that as she was telling me how great the 'sleep formula' is, she is talking about how hard she finds it to get to sleep - so clearly it's not working well. I also told her that out of respect for her, I wouldn't jeapordise her sales opportunities by telling anyone what I thought about the products. She then replied with even more links, trying to prove how amazing the products are, and told me I should 're-think' my position and 'should have done my research properly'. At this point I'm just thinking PLEASE GO AWAY.

So, rather than give her a serve about taking no for an answer, I decided to take the humble route and messaged briefly to again wish her well and said I hoped that we could just agree to disagree and move on. She clearly took this as a sign of weakness and replied with more links, and told me I hurt her feelings because she felt I doubted her integrity. Ok, I thought, I'll really knock it on the head this time - I emailed and said while my feelings on the company hadn't changed, I was sorry if I had hurt her feelings.

Nope, that wasn't good enough either.

She replied to tell me she went to a lecture by the founder of the company last week, that he had integrity, and he said that his ex-wife was posting negative things about him on the internet, and told his followers to send him any links they could find. Her words were 'X...has said that we need to find these sites so that we can get his legal team to shut them all down'. So now I get why her feelings are hurt that I don't like this company or founder...she is now we and anything I say about the company and it's founder is being taken as an insult to her as well.

I had a friend once who got right into selling AMWAY (whose products I like btw), but it was almost cult-like how devoted she was to the company and all the training meetings she'd attend. This situation seems the same...utter devotion to the company's products and its founder and heaven help anyone who doesn't agree that it's all awesome.

I just checked my email and there is ANOTHER message with a pouty reply about how I haven't done my research properly, this really is an amazing product and that I should refrain from doubting her integrity, she is only selling these products as a way to help people feel better. (Right - I've known her (not terribly well) for over six years in the ward, and she has never approached me with 'help' of any kind until she decided to start selling these herbal products.)

This is way too much drama for me. I need to get this woman off my back. I just want her to stop emailing and badgering me now into apologising for not liking what she's been trying to sell. I think she's not going to stop until I change my mind and see the light, so to speak.

I don't want it to be awkward and weird at church when I see her.

Oh my gosh...that just felt soooo good to post.

Any suggestions?

[The Folk Prophet]

I almost laugh at this because it is so very typical of these types of companies. We have someone in our ward doing Nuskin sales and they won't leave my wife alone (though less dramatic about it (so far)).

Any companies whose sales model is to bug your family and friends will not get my business. Ever. And I will tell them that, as simply and plainly as possible.

[estradling75]

While it is nice to be friendly and polite... She has clearly pushed herself into the Telemarketer category. They simply don't give up if you give them any glimmer of hope. Which means you aren't going to get out of it without some awkwardness.

You need to be a lot more firm in your demands. Be very very clear you are not interested in her product. Don't give a reason, because that is an opening. Be very very clear that you want to be removed from her Contact Lists, and that no further communication from her in this matter is acceptable.

If she continues after that reply once with "This constitutes harassment" then filter all her further emails as spam

Edited March 14, 2014 by estradling75

[skippy740]

If it were me, I'd send this:

http://askgramps.org/18222/members-stay-away-multilevel-marketing-companies

Along with this:

Affinity Fraud

And to please ask her to use your contact information for "Church Use Only" in the future.

Going forward, just classify all emails from her as "junk" or even spam.

I guess by using these ideas, you'll still run the risk of things being "awkward" at church when you see her.

[beefche]

Hi, Sis. XX. I have said that I do not wish to purchase these products. Please stop emailing me about this product. Future emails from you regarding this product will be ignored.

Wishing you the best,

Me

[FunkyTown]

It's email. Don't read it.

It's really that simple. No drama. No anything. She wants to do it, you don't want to pay attention.

You have a choice: You can read her counter-arguments, consider carefully what she's doing, argue vocally and angrily or logically and meticulously.

Or you can go make a sandwich.

Which do you like better? Frustration and drama or a nice sandwich?

[Wingnut]

Hi, Sis. XX. I have said that I do not wish to purchase these products. Please stop emailing me about this product. Future emails from you regarding this product will be ignored.

Wishing you the best,

Me

I would change the last sentence to read:

Future emails from you regarding this product will be marked as spam.

I actually did this once, years ago. A former friend, with whom I'd had a small falling out, suddenly started sending me multiple emails a week about gluten-free living (before it became a big thing) and other similar healthy living subjects, most of which, though, were beyond "alternative" health, and way into the realm of tin-foil hats. Actually, now that I think about it, he had put me on a mailing list (without my permission, which I now know is illegal, come to think of it). After unsubscribing 3 separate times, I finally replied back to him and told him that if he did not immediately remove me from his mailing list, that I would be reporting him to Google, as my email was hosted by them, and so was his. I never heard from him again.

[The Folk Prophet]

It's email. Don't read it.

It's really that simple. No drama. No anything. She wants to do it, you don't want to pay attention.

You have a choice: You can read her counter-arguments, consider carefully what she's doing, argue vocally and angrily or logically and meticulously.

Or you can go make a sandwich.

Which do you like better? Frustration and drama or a nice sandwich?

Mmmm. Sandwich. Arrrgglllhhuuhgglll.

[beefche]

I would change the last sentence to read:

Future emails from you regarding this product will be marked as spam

Even better! I'd reply back with the Spam, Spam, Spam skit from Monty Python.

[Guest]

"You lost me at hello..."

There's no need to reply. Not even to the first email. Not even a No, Thank You. No drama.

If you want the emails to stop, don't say you're going to move emails to spam. No. This is only good for telemarketers you don't have to see on Sunday or end up as a Visiting Teaching companion. Instead, send out a Relief Society Ward Broadcast email copied to the Bishop to request that your email address be removed from non-Church-related emails. If you receive another email, resend the broadcast. If it still continues, talk to the RS President and the bishop about removing your email address from non-Church-related emails. This makes the thing non-personal.

If you don't mind receiving the emails in case you do find something interesting to buy, only reply to those you are interested in getting. No drama.

Edited March 14, 2014 by anatess

[LittleWyvern]

If it were me, I'd send this:

http://askgramps.org/18222/members-stay-away-multilevel-marketing-companies

Along with this:

Affinity Fraud

And to please ask her to use your contact information for "Church Use Only" in the future.

Going forward, just classify all emails from her as "junk" or even spam.

I guess by using these ideas, you'll still run the risk of things being "awkward" at church when you see her.

I think this is the best way to stop the harassment and the drama for good: you need to draw a line in the sand and be firm about it. You've got the First Presidency statement skippy posted and the official Church policy on the use of the ward directory on your side. If you draw a clear line in the sand like this, hopefully the harassment will stop and the person who has been emailing you will respect that line. If she still doesn't, that's when you need to ask the Relief Society President or Bishop to arbitrate. Arbitration may be awkward, but it's a one-time thing and will most likely resolve the conflict.

[Bini]

This is an easy one.

Make the sandwich. I would either ignore or redirect her emails into your SPAM folder - tadaaa! That's the end of that. I do the same thing when I get political "funnies" from my parents when they know that I'm a Democrat.

[Just_A_Guy]

Y'all are so non-creative. Why not have a little fun?

I had an opposing party in a divorce once who gave my name and phone number to a male enhancement marketing company. Created quite a bit of embarrassment and annoyance for me--but I gotta admire the woman's chutzpah.

You have this woman's name, her contact info, and the knowledge that she thinks it's OK to distribute that information to third-party marketers. Go, thou, and do likewise.

(Yeah, I'm probably going straight to Hades for that one . . .)

[NeuroTypical]

Yeah, step one is to stop replying to (or reading) her email. Just don't bother. Same thing with text messages, snail mail, voice mail, phone calls, or any other way she communicates with you without actually physically being present. Just don't pick up the phone, read the mail, respond to the message.

That leaves face to face encounters. I've gotten better at avoiding awkwardness over the years. One trick I use, is to be upbeat, positive, friendly, and utterly clear about my message.

"Oh hi Sister X! It's good to see you! How are [kids]?"

If she brings up the products or the messages, just remain positive and friendly.

"Oh yes. I'm honestly not interested - sorry. I wish you well though, and if I come across anyone who might be able to use them, I'll send them your way! Do you have a business card?"

If she continues pressing, she is being rude, and you can handle her like any other rude person. And I guess that depends on you.

[beefche]

Y'all are so non-creative. Why not have a little fun?

I had an opposing party in a divorce once who gave my name and phone number to a male enhancement marketing company. Created quite a bit of embarrassment and annoyance for me--but I gotta admire the woman's chutzpah.

You have this woman's name, her contact info, and the knowledge that she thinks it's OK to distribute that information to third-party marketers. Go, thou, and do likewise.

(Yeah, I'm probably going straight to Hades for that one . . .)

Ha! I signed up an exboyfriend for free tampons once....

[mirkwood]

I would never use the email address of a person who had annoyed me to make sure they were receiving all kinds of interesting emails. Nope. Never.

Be blunt at church this week. Tell her you are not interested in her products and to stop emailing you. When she continues, ask in a loud voice, "what part of I am not interested do you fail to get?"

You could always add in that you now have her email address and know all kinds of cool marketing companies that might like to talk to her...

[Str8Shooter]

Yes. Be blunt and to the point.

If that doesn't work be the panda:

Never say no to Panda! - YouTube

[Roseslipper]

church directory is not suppose to be used to sell things too!!! I been a sales person all my life would't go down the church directory its not right. Thou I might tell a friend what i'm selling 1x and leave it up 2 them if they want to ask me about it.

[Roseslipper]

I would never use the email address of a person who had annoyed me to make sure they were receiving all kinds of interesting emails. Nope. Never.

Be blunt at church this week. Tell her you are not interested in her products and to stop emailing you. When she continues, ask in a loud voice, "what part of I am not interested do you fail to get?"

You could always add in that you now have her email address and know all kinds of cool marketing companies that might like to talk to her...

all good mirk, but the last sentance was not. Just ignore her mail if it comes again you can even block her mail and thats that.

[Roseslipper]

Ha! I signed up an exboyfriend for free tampons once....

lol.......thats funny. But................

[Suzie]

Y'all are so non-creative. Why not have a little fun?

I had an opposing party in a divorce once who gave my name and phone number to a male enhancement marketing company. Created quite a bit of embarrassment and annoyance for me--but I gotta admire the woman's chutzpah.

You have this woman's name, her contact info, and the knowledge that she thinks it's OK to distribute that information to third-party marketers. Go, thou, and do likewise.

(Yeah, I'm probably going straight to Hades for that one . . .)

tsk tsk tsk...I will have to drop you from the Presidency:

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/58997-mock-election-who-should-president-only-lds-net-posters-may-nominated.html

[Suzie]

Any suggestions?

Yes, tell her straightforward to STOP emailing you and if she does again, tell her you will have to talk to a lawyer about it because it is harassment. Usually, when they hear the word "lawyer" they stop.

[lagarthaaz]

Gack - a facebook reply has just arrived, complete with a meme about not keeping 'negative' people in your life.

[skippy740]

Just post this one:

Positivity Demotivator® - Demotivational posters from Despair.com

[skippy740]

Or this one:

Self-Esteem (pawn) Demotivator® - Demotivational posters from Despair.com