Cursing and Cussing at work...


EarlJibbs
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So I recently moved (6 months ago) from Salt Lake City to Houston Texas. It has been very different for my family to be here. But honestly, one of the biggest complaints for me is surprising, at least for me. Here it is.

 

There are a couple of Mormons here at work that I know of, it's a pretty big place, so I don't know who they are and I do not work directly with them. When I eat lunch I prefer to eat with those I work with to build relationships, networking and to just be part of the office. Back in Salt Lake I would eat out with non-members at lunch in group settings all the time and sure, there was some language. But for the most part everyone noticed that we were still "at work" and you would keep it professional. Or at least I thought it was part of being professional. Maybe it's just Utah.

 

Jump to my new job and the casual swearing that I used to hear at work, is directly in the office setting. When we go out to lunch you would think that we were on a personal outing with what I hear. It is so much that it makes me seriously (at times) want to alienate myself from most of the office. I like the people, and I get along with all of them.

 

It was one thing to travel and hear what I do every so often. But it really eats at you when it is all the time don't you think? It's like being in Jr High again.

 

So without further ado....we would like to Welcome EarlJibbs to the rest of the world. It's good to be here folks.  

 

So what is your work or daily atmosphere like?

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Before I moved to Florida I worked for a major mobile company at their head quarters. Even though the CEO was LDS it had to be the most foul language ridden area I've ever worked. Lots of LDS there too, but people just get used to it I guess. The only thing I won't tolerate is too much "G-d" and "Jes-s". My usual response is "Are you praying...or talking to me?"

 

Here in SE Florida language is still pretty bad but you get used to it. My wife works in a Hospital and has been shocked at the foul language coming out of medical professionals. She was actually reported for cussing out a nurse, everyone knows she's LDS and never swears so they dismissed that pretty quick. Her lack of swearing makes her stand out.

 

Welcome to the real world :bananallama:

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I've never worked at a place where swearing is common place. And I've worked in 4 Cities in 4 States, Houston being one of them. Maybe it's the type of work and not necessarily the "rest of the world"?

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I've never worked at a place where swearing is common place. And I've worked in 4 Cities in 4 States, Houston being one of them. Maybe it's the type of work and not necessarily the "rest of the world"?

I wish Anatess. I have been in this industry for over 13 years at 4 companies. There are not many but I work with 6 people here that I worked with in Utah and those are some of the only ones that I have heard that are more reserved, at least at work. And they aren't members. I work in the finance industry.

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In my humble opinion:

 

Cursing, Cussing, Swearing is never appropriate at any place of employment. 

 

Using curse words just shows that you have a very limited vocabulary. 

 

Please don't curse, swear around me. or Swearing and cursing is offensive and I know that you don't wish to be offensive. Is what I used when I was a bartender/cocktail waitress (did that work for 12 years) and when I worked in an office with all women!! Within a week pretty much all of the foul language was gone. 

 

As for that language at lunch/meals. Get up and sit elsewhere. When asked, be honest and say that the foul language is inappropriate and unwanted. 

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Jeez people actually respected that? I'd have told anyone who said that I don't wish to be offensive that I indeed do wish to be offensive, or their offence doesn't matter to me.

I am not as... well completely uncaring as that anymore, but I still have my moments.
That's the hardest part of church, not swearing. And not mumbling to myself.

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People of the world have potty mouths and they dont think anything.of it, its the way they talk..and its at all levels, employees to management to owners.  It is the way of the world. At my new job its a small company.  And they noticed I didnt get upset or cuss at people, they said in time I will and it was ok 4 me 2 do so.  I said nah u can do it 4 me , they said they will rub off on me I said I might rub off on them  :)

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Guest LiterateParakeet

In my current job, swearing is not allowed, so it is rare.  I work in a residential treatment facility for teenagers.

 

In my previous job working with abused children, swearing (from the kids) was common.  The worst was hearing an eight year old call you names starting with the F-word, simply because you woke him up.  Yes, that really happened.  I hate to imagine what kind of a home he came from that made him act like that.  He certainly wasn't the only one that swore though.

 

Oh yeah...and when I worked in prison...phew.  You can't imagine the swearing, inmates and officers alike.  In time the inmates realized I didn't swear and so they would stop (always trying to get favors!), but the officers never did.

 

I grew up in a home with swearing.  So I've been around it my whole life, it really doesn't phase me.

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I learned to NOT swear in the Marine Corps (Doggone, Dagnabit, Durn, Dratted, Crackbaby, Knucklehead, Individual).

3 months of invective above a g-rating = pain and suffering = some SERIOUS Yosamite Samming it.

And then, of course, I learned how the F-word can replace all previously used adjectives, and F+A = most adverbs.

Sailors still have the gold ... But making a sailor blush earned big time brownie points with those above.

So I left the USMC with a rather limited vocabulary.

When I started my family, I reinvoked bootcamp rules with swearing.

With the caveat that swearing in Chinese was okay.

Nothing sounds better than Chinese swear words.

They have a British Ingenuity in their composition (blanch. Wow. That\'s colorful. And anatomically impossible. I hope.)

AND Chinese is a tonal language! Honestly, you can say words like peace, love, & happiness and make them sound like you are about to die. Screaming.

My current employment is a mix of both.

Absolute lack of profanity + Absolute lack of being able to use multisyllabic adjectives.

Q

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My son worked for a car dealership for awhile, eventually quiting over the foul language (towards both men and women) and generally nasty atmosphere. We're hardly naifs here at chez dahlia, but he was just appalled people would talk that way at work.

 

I guess there are professors who like to shock students by cursing, but I don't do it, though t've had to bite my tongue a few times not to say something inappropriate. I do show videos with 'adult' language, and I warn students that it's coming in case anyone would be uncomfortable and want to leave (that never happens).

 

I haven't heard any cursing at faculty meetings. We must be a polite lot - I hear that faculty meetings in other places can be quite contentious.

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Thanks for all of your participation. I know in my OP I sound like a baby a little bit. It's not like I have never been around it, or even used it as heavily as I hear. It's just different for me now. I have been blessed not to be around it. But it's just not a big deal to a lot of people. I just have to get used to it again.

 

And Mirk, I would imagine that your job isn't all peaches :) 

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EarlJibbs, on 09 Apr 2014 - 9:05 PM, said:

I wish Anatess. I have been in this industry for over 13 years at 4 companies. There are not many but I work with 6 people here that I worked with in Utah and those are some of the only ones that I have heard that are more reserved, at least at work. And they aren't members. I work in the finance industry.

That's wild.  I don't know how I'm going to react.  Cussing just destroys the professional environment.  You know, I know exactly how I am going to react.  "Please abstain from offensive language."  And if that doesn't work I'm going to my boss.  If my boss is the one cursing, I'm going to HR.  If that doesn't work, I'm getting outta there.

 

Kinda reminded me of that time when this old guy that looked like he can be a permanent cast member at Duck Dynasty who has worked in that department for over 20 years pick up my hand when I offered it for a handshake and kissed the back of it when we got introduced on my first day at work!  I was so shocked I turned into a statue.  I was 6 months pregnant then and had very little contol of my temper.  But, I managed to shake myself and continue with the meeting.  He acted like nothing abnormal happened and everybody else in the meeting acted like nothing abnormal happened, so I sat down and pretended nothing abnormal happened...

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EarlJibbs - I disagree that you just need to "get used to it again".  Why not be the change for good?  Also, I remember hearing Maya Angelou say that she doesn't allow certain language in her home because it affects the atmosphere, leaves a nasty residue so to speak (something to that affect) so why not at least attempt what Anatess mentioned?  It never hurts to try and for all you know others may feel the same but just aren't speaking up.

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EarlJibbs - I disagree that you just need to "get used to it again".  Why not be the change for good?  Also, I remember hearing Maya Angelou say that she doesn't allow certain language in her home because it affects the atmosphere, leaves a nasty residue so to speak (something to that affect) so why not at least attempt what Anatess mentioned?  It never hurts to try and for all you know others may feel the same but just aren't speaking up.

 

Nooooooo!!!! Don't do what Anatess mentioned!

 

On the mouth or on the hand,

 

    "kissing a potty-mouth is like drinking from the toilet"!

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I put it in where I can. I am sort of an anomaly around the office. Those in my group and around me know I don't smoke, drink, and all the other things they think is "weird" about Mormons. They know that I don't use offensive language also.

 

I let people know what I think, but I am not even half as brave as Anatess seems to be. The way I am working it seems to be working, although slower than Anatess' way. I let them know, but not as directly as others.

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I grew up LDS in SLC UT, but son of a WWII vet nonreligious Army Sargent.  So I knew all 63 ways to describe hell by the time I was 8.  And when I turned 18, my dad surprised me with all the cussing he had been holding back "because the boy wasn't old enough".  And then he did it again when I turned 21, with a third round of tongue-loosening.

 

I've participated in using such language off and on across my 40+ years, usually in lockstep with my spiritual side.  In other words, I repeated stuff Dad told me until I got baptized, then alternated back and forth until age 18, then ripped out all the stops until I was 26, then cleaned up my act until today.  They've only got three "s-words" out of me since then - once on Lagoon's sky coaster, once a fraction of a second before we got in an auto collision, and once when my wife wondered if it would be funny to wake me up by smacking me and shouting "turn off the tv!".  I will plead my case at the feet of my master, and trust in His mercy.

 

Let me respectfully disagree with those of you who seem to believe that cussing is solely indicative of a limited vocabulary, intelligence, or maturity.   It is true that folks in such situations may only have such language at their disposal.  However, there are many quite smart, highly intellectual people out there who use foul language to convey emotion or weight.  (I'm fine with the maturity level thing, but I'm not all that big on being mature.)

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Jeez people actually respected that? I'd have told anyone who said that I don't wish to be offensive that I indeed do wish to be offensive, or their offence doesn't matter to me.

I am not as... well completely uncaring as that anymore, but I still have my moments.

That's the hardest part of church, not swearing. And not mumbling to myself.

you oughta look up jay golden Kimball ;P

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Let me respectfully disagree with those of you who seem to believe that cussing is solely indicative of a limited vocabulary, intelligence, or maturity.   It is true that folks in such situations may only have such language at their disposal.  However, there are many quite smart, highly intellectual people out there who use foul language to convey emotion or weight.  (I'm fine with the maturity level thing, but I'm not all that big on being mature.)

When a quite smart, highly intellectual person resorts to foul language to convey emotion or weight, s/he has lost my respect and attention pretty much forever. Both of my Mom's brothers were Marines. In their own homes they had incredibly foul mouths. One was a cop, the other a long haul truck driver. In our non-LDS home foul language was NOT allowed. Nor was it allowed around myself and my siblings. Disrespectful talk/comments were not allowed either. example: Uncle Younger commenting about his very pregnant, very miserably uncomfortable wife: "If she doesn't drop that kid soon - I am moving out, can't take any more of her tossing, turning, and pacing through out the house." Dad corrected him. Cows drop calves. Women give birth. Uncle was removed from our house and not allowed back until he apologized to all of us. Mom, us kids, his own mother (who lived with us) AND his wife. 

 

I owned a tavern - my customers were loggers, truck drivers, fishermen, motorcycle riders ( Gypsy Jokers, etc.) Foul language was not tolerated in the tavern either. I didn't like it and the Oregon Liquor Control Commission Rules and Regulations stated that the bartender/ bar owner must maintain control - No foul language. No lewd behavior. Etc. The manual was nearly 2 inches thick. Cutting the offender(s) off and turning them out of the bar for the night, worked. After just once, they kept a clean mouth.

 

Foul language just is not acceptable or appropriate at any time. It chases the Holy Spirit away. 

https://www.lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth/language?lang=eng Ephesians 4:  29 Let no corrupt acommunication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.    Do not use profane, vulgar, or crude language or gestures, and do not tell jokes or stories about immoral actions. These are offensive to God and to others.

 

A highly intellectual person will use words that convey emotion without lowering her/him self to base language. As will a moderately intellectual person. 

 

The loggers, truck drivers and fishermen were mostly high school drop outs - but in my bar they refrained from cursing, cussing, & foul language. 

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