I'm pregnant, not married...need advice please!!!

[Roseslipper]

unfortunaty

 you got yourself into this situation I am sorry 4 you, we  all make mistakes, and I have compassion 4 you. But That little spirit wanted to be born, and deserves to gain a body and experience mortal life , wouldn't aborted it just be another major mistake, something to think about and probably discuss with your spiritual leader your bishop. And pray about 2 Heavenly Father. He will help you.   I hope it all works out for you all, what ever your choice is, its your choice.  It is not an easy situation to be in for sure.  God be with you and bless you always.  P.S. these are just my thoughts and I want you to know that Im not a smart cookie.

[MacDow]

Talk to a bishop. Take optimal care of yourself and seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost as much as it is available to you. I would say taking advice on what to do with the child should be between you and the Lord with council from a bishop. I am sorry you are going through this and please remember the atonement is their to help you through this. Also, I am sorry that some people feel the need the hog pile you because you used the word abortion in your post.

[Guest]

I would say taking advice on what to do with the child should be between you and the Lord with council from a bishop.

 

So, there was this guy... he got shipwrecked and got stranded on an island.  He sought help and advice from the Lord.

A rowboat came by and told him to hop on... and he said, "Oh, it's okay, the Lord will help me."...

A helicopter came by...

 

You know how that story goes, right?

 

It is the advice forum.  You're going to get advice on an advice forum.  Some useless, some useful, some are even rowboats and helicopters.

 

 

Also, I am sorry that some people feel the need the hog pile you because you used the word abortion in your post.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by "hog pile"... but, abortion is quite serious.  It would be like having somebody say on the forum, "I have this problem.  Can you advice me on what to do?  I'm thinking of going out to the soup kitchen, or maybe talk to the Bishop and Stake President, or maybe I'll kill myself... but probably not... I'll probably just talk to my parents... "

 

The I'll kill myself statement is going to get glommed on just to make sure that doesn't enter the equation as it is quite serious...

[MacDow]

So, there was this guy... he got shipwrecked and got stranded on an island.  He sought help and advice from the Lord.

A rowboat came by and told him to hop on... and he said, "Oh, it's okay, the Lord will help me."...

A helicopter came by...

 

You know how that story goes, right?

 

It is the advice forum.  You're going to get advice on an advice forum.  Some useless, some useful, some are even rowboats and helicopters.

 

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean by "hog pile"... but, abortion is quite serious.  It would be like having somebody say on the forum, "I have this problem.  Can you advice me on what to do?  I'm thinking of going out to the soup kitchen, or maybe talk to the Bishop and Stake President, or maybe I'll kill myself... but probably not... I'll probably just talk to my parents... "

 

The I'll kill myself statement is going to get glommed on just to make sure that doesn't enter the equation as it is quite serious...

 

She simply mentioned to word abortion only to say that it was NOT an option for her. It looked like people did not read the OP post and saw a response that was mistaken in thinking she was considering abortion as an option and just piled on top of her. Im sorry but that it not helpful.............at all............in any way.

 

Yes the Lord works through people. People who take time to listen to and understand people's problems. People who don't imediatley brand them with a scarlet letter before they know their situation.

[jerome1232]

She simply mentioned to word abortion only to say that it was NOT an option for her. It looked like people did not read the OP post and saw a response that was mistaken in thinking she was considering abortion as an option and just piled on top of her. Im sorry but that it not helpful.............at all............in any way.

 

Yes the Lord works through people. People who take time to listen to and understand people's problems. People who don't imediatley brand them with a scarlet letter before they know their situation.

You must have read a different OP than I did, because the one I read definitely puts it on the table in a roundabout way. When someone even kinda puts it on the table, I am for one glad of the overwhelming response of warning about an action that cannot be undone, and would have very negative consequences. I haven't seen any scarlet letter branding, just people voicing their concern about an action a sister in the gospel may take.

My mother was 17 when she had me, I sure am glad she decided to keep me.

[MacDow]

So, because she "maybe kinda sort of" may have left abortion on table its good for everyone to tell her how wrong she is without knowing for sure? How about sending her a private message asking what she meant before making acusations?

 

As an aside I do think aborortion is wrong, but I did not get the impression she was "Leaving it on the table".

[jerome1232]

"Whoa! Don't put that on the table" isn't an accusation, it's a voice of warning. You are being overly defensive.

Abortion makes me sick, even though I  read many church talks regarding it and am aware that I could be forgiven.It also makes me sick to think about a broken family in which the child's father would talk very negatively about the LDS church and possibly forbid baptism. He would never allow me to give the child up for adoption. In my state the father has rights the second the baby is born.

Let us break that down shall we?

Abortion, I read I could be forgiven for it, it makes me sick.

Broken family, ie keeping the child, makes me sick.

Adoption is off the table.

Read that, what two options do you come away with as being considered?

[Guest]

 

So, because she "maybe kinda sort of" may have left abortion on table its good for everyone to tell her how wrong she is without knowing for sure? How about sending her a private message asking what she meant before making acusations?

 

As an aside I do think aborortion is wrong, but I did not get the impression she was "Leaving it on the table".

 

 

 

"Whoa! Don't put that on the table" isn't an accusation, it's a voice of warning. You are being overly defensive.
 

 

Let us break that down shall we?

Abortion, I read I could be forgiven for it, it makes me sick.

Broken family, ie keeping the child, makes me sick.

Adoption is off the table.

Read that, what two options do you come away with as being considered?

 

 

Whether abortion is on the table or not is not the problem.  The problem is MacDow thinks people here are accusing her of considering abortion and throwing stones at her for it.

 

MacDow, simply put, you are wrong in your perception.  You can read back on all the posts.  Everyone mentioning abortion did so for one simple reason - to tell the OP abortion is a serious offense - regardless of whether she's considering it or not - and that she may be right that one can be forgiven for a serious offense such as this, but that knowing it is a serious offense and then doing it anyway and then asking for forgiveness afterwards is a terrible thing.  Nobody is accusing her of it - everybody was clarifying the "you can be forgiven" part of it and making sure she doesn't have the wrong understanding of it and might choose that route because of that mistaken understanding.

 

And, let me just repeat this because this makes a difference in the responses on this thread... This is the advice forum... you're going to get advice on an advice forum... including advice against abortion.  It's not an accusation, it's advice.

[Wingnut]

She simply mentioned to word abortion only to say that it was NOT an option for her. It looked like people did not read the OP post and saw a response that was mistaken in thinking she was considering abortion as an option and just piled on top of her. Im sorry but that it not helpful.............at all............in any way.

 

Yes the Lord works through people. People who take time to listen to and understand people's problems. People who don't imediatley brand them with a scarlet letter before they know their situation.

 

I seem to be the only person who read it the way you did (as evidenced by my comments earlier in this thread).  But I agree with you...regardless of the Lord working through people or not, every.single.person.in.the.thread. commenting on the abortion issue (and, in many cases, only the abortion issue), is more than enough.

[Pink-Floyduk]

Ok so I am new here and currently not a member of the church but might help for an outside perspective. I read the post about 5 times and If abortion makes you sick then it isnt an option it sounds to me that if it makes you sick to think about then it will be worse for you afterwards. Also adoption not being open to discussion which I think is sensible as whether you keep the child or the father takes full custody is still the best for the child (but only if he doesnt rubbish your name or beliefs or vice versa). I was 18 when my son was born and we werent together (to much game playing etc) and abortion was never mentioned (probably cos she didnt tell me until she was 5 months pregnant) but to me every life is worth something even an unborn one. you need to sit him down and be blunt with him give him the riot act of what your thinking and work it out together he might surprise you you know. Even split access every week between the 2 of you would work or if you cant keep the child then he and his family would probably welcome the chance.... I know if I had been given that chance I would of. And worst thing you can do is keep a child from his father trust me I know this as I havent seen my boy in 10 years and it kills me daily. the longer your pregnant the more your bond will grow and its harder to give a child up.

[FiveNine]

I will start off by saying that I am a single father. I was raised as a Baptist and then grew to be more of an Agnostic for my high school years and a little later. I was raised in a family that stressed the importance of waiting for marriage but in my late teens I fell for the temptation. I continued my unsafe practices as time went on and eventually with one of my girlfriends on the final night of our relationship my daughter was conceived. The next morning she came clean about being unfaithful, broke up with me and then I ended up with a beautiful daughter who changed my life. 

 

I will also say that I am adopted, I have seven siblings out there. I am the oldest and was adopted with a sister who was a year younger. Let us just say that my biological mother was very... unwise and very busy... I was adopted into a very loving home and a very loving family. My parents were in their 40's when they adopted my sister and I. I was essentially raised by a different generation with better morals and ethics than what you see in todays society.

 

While being a single parent is tough, it is something that I wouldn't change for the world. Everyday I get to see my daughter always brightens even my darkest of days. She truly has been a blessing for me and came to me in a very dark time of my life. I changed for her, the moment I held her in my arms something inside of my just changed and I let go of alot of my old bad ways.

 

I haven't read all of the replies on here, but I am a firm believer in pro life. It may be your body, but that body inside of you does not belong to you. That being said I would urge you to consider raising this life you have brought into the world or putting the child up for adoption once he or she is born. 

 

Just because this guy is anti religion now doesn't mean he will be a month from now, a year from now. He fears what he does not understand. There is a difference between knowing and understanding. Just because he knows something about the LDS faith, such as the fact only members who are worth enough with a temple recommend may enter does not mean he truly understands the significance behind it. 

 

I know a woman who is a single mother and LDS raising her daughter. Life is tough, but she wouldn't change anything for the world.

 

That is my few cents on this subject.