Ratbag Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 Hi All- I'm having trouble finding people to read a book I've written. It isn't related to any gospel subject, just something I've written based on my experiences as a cop. I need people to read it and email me a no-holds-barred critique of it. Here is the synopsis. Arrested Through Intuition is a combination thriller/paranormal novel centered around the Harrisburg, PA area. The main character, Nate is a police officer with some unusual abilities. He is a telempath with a limited precognitive ability. He has the ability to read the emotions of people around him. His precognitive ability is limited to usually just before incidents happen of a serious nature, but occasionally sees further into the future. Nate and his partner, Sean, a black man with a strong Texas accent, interrupt a drug operation. The offended drug lord ignites a war between the gangs and all the police departments in the area. Nate's wife, Gwyn, an Australian born black belt in Taekwondo is attacked by members of a gang, but she is able to beat off her attackers. His son, also a black belt, is attacked and stabbed. Several officers are attacked at their homes and one rookie cop is killed in an ambush. The son eventually dies and Gwyn goes undercover to the drug lord's HQ to find info necessary to take him out. The police assault the HQ, but the drug lord escapes. The drug lord targets Nate and Gwyn and attacks them at their home using several gang members. Sean and his wife are at Nate's home during the attack and the four of them fight the gang. The drug lord tries to escape but is pursued by Nate and Sean. The story ends in a dark cemetery in a gunfight between Nate and the drug lord. There is a twist to the plot about the drug lord. I don't know if it is good enough and if I need to change it. That is one of the things I need to know about. The book is 266 single spaced pages long. If you want to read the book, please send a request to [email protected]. I can send it to you in Kindle, EPUB or PDF. Thanks, Ratbag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted May 24, 2014 Report Share Posted May 24, 2014 what does HQ mean first I thought it might be headquarters but that only fit in one place instead of abbreviating it I believe you need to write it all out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 HQ fits in both places mentioned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 what does HQ meAn? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Does it contain any of the following:1 - Rogue ________ Agent (CIA, FBI, FSB, etc.) . Head meet drywall. 2 - Espionage Royalty (previously solid character suddenly finds out they're actually extraordinary because of who their parents were, not anything innate in themselves. Plot advances from this point onward in Quest-For-TRUTH). 3 - The "best of the best". Is both boring & overdone. Seriously. Whatever happened to someone who was simply GOOD at what they did in a sea of people who are also good at what they do, okay, so so, lousy, etc. Making someone the "best" has both ceased to make them in any way exceptional, and is ultimately lazy. Because if theyre better than everyone else, they don't have to work. All the other characters being dumb -except for when the character needs XYZ, then magically expertXYZ is in their back pocket, is a trend in publishing akin to all parents being stupid in cartoons. It's interesting a few times, and then only once in a thousand examples. 3.5 - The "worst of the worst". I'm actually talking SuperAngst rather than "most feared gangster ever" (of which there's no such thing, which -as a cop- thankfully you should know. Bad guys try to outdo each other as much as anyone else / I'm including trying to be the best scary guy, fixer, etc. in the "best" category above). SuperAngst is the character who despises themselves for what they do, or are just so incredibly bad at it that in real life they'd either be dead or working a different job, but instead they continue to torture themselves in martyrdom that would make JC look like an egotistical slacker. All while having these hugely long and self flag gelatins interior monologues that. never. resolve. Character stuck in one emotional gear. It's as egotistical as "best of the best", just the other side of the coin. 4 - Inexplicable/ plot forwarding wealth (like 2 waitresses living in a 6k per month condo in Manhatten, or yummy uber rich girlfriend/boyfriend/benefactor whose only existence in the plot is to fund the exploits of the protagonist. I also loop in a person magically knowing everything/everyone with no reason to. Like the 3rd grade teacher who knocks a hacker, a high ranking diplomat in EXACTLY the position they need them to be, a cop who will search databases & pass on info without pause, a car thief, etc. ). Makes good comics, but not good prose. 5- Hollywood &/or story about a writer. It just feels mastubatory (even, or maybe especially, when done well) or star-eyed (like a virgin writing love scenes). Those are my 5 of my 7 non-starters (the other 2 are female protagonist based).If not, I'll do the first 3 chapters no matter what, and the rest if I like it. If so, you've already got my critique. But I hope not! CheersQ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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