Where is everyone?


Suzie
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I understand Pam, thanks. Perhaps I am a bit of a extremist. If a member is given warnings numerous times and they choose to ignore it, then some sort of "suspension" should take place, I don't know..a few days without posting or something like that until they rectify their attitude.

 

 

That does happen...  per the rules (which very few people seem to read)  a 2nd infraction is a week ban/suspension.  

 

As for the attacks there are a few very clear cut out of nowhere attacks...  Most of the time it is an escalation of a group of posters with conflicting views.  With each post they get just a little bit more harsh.  Instead of stepping back and calming down they try to outdo 'prove' the other side is completely wrong.  Which leaves the mods with the options to deal with each one individually which could be alot or take a more group related action and close the thread.

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I know I'm guilty of this. When a thread is something that hits a nerve with me or I'm extremely passionate about it's hard to just walk away sometimes and take the time to cool off.

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I know I'm guilty of this. When a thread is something that hits a nerve with me or I'm extremely passionate about it's hard to just walk away sometimes and take the time to cool off.

 

What I started doing is putting the ignore feature to good use. I don't put someone on "ignore" just because...it takes me a while but when I no longer enjoy reading their posts or debate (usually if the discussion has become too contentious/personal or emotional) I do it, for my sanity and theirs.

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My opinion and my rant........

I think some people come here and see the bickering in some of the threads and I think they get tired of it and it drives them away. (I could be wrong). I think other new members come here thinking this is a different type of forum and leave cause they see there are some opinionated people here. Myself, I don't get into some of the discussions cause I have no desire to. Joseph Smith once said something to the effect, teach the people correct principles and let them govern themselves. Myself....I love the church and the teachings. I love serving in my calling and listening to the Leaderrs of the church. I support them and I will stand alone as President Monson taught cause I know how I want to live my life and I am not going to lower my standards.

Steps down from soapbox......Thank you :)

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In many cases, I feel it necessary to defend the church. When someone says something that insults the church, encourages negativity toward it, attacks it or its principles, etc., I often find it obligatory to speak up.  As is obvious, this leads to contention sometimes. I don't like to argue. I like to advance correct principles and defend the gospel.

 

It's a very tough balance to stay contention free and to stand up for the church.

 

I find it a bit funny, actually. I work very, very hard to not ever get personal. You won't seem me (hopefully) telling people they're arrogant, ignorant, self-righteous, etc. (something that others do to me consistently), and yet people do seem to often take offense at me (usually in terms of thinking me arrogant, ignorant, self-righteous, etc...) I figure I have to respond one of two ways -- in balance. 1. Stand up for the gospel and the church in spite of getting scorn for it. 2. Honestly take a look at how I communicate and improve that. The balance between these two things is very interesting. There are many situations where others take offense merely because I don't agree with them, and in those cases, I simply do not feel culpable. There are also many situations where I see that I could have said something better.

 

If I were to take some posters on here at their word, I would have to accept that I'm just a horrible, horrible person.

 

I'm actually a really nice guy (okay...that may be arrogant :)). But if someone attacks the gospel or the church, I'm stepping up.

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I left for a while because I felt like my internet persona was becoming more and more contentious and cynical and it was carrying over into my real life. 

 

I think these forums can shape us both good and bad and sometimes we don't see it. Just felt like a break to regroup was necessary....

 

I try to avoid current events that center on politics....now and try harder to express a more Christ like attitude in my posts and be less judgmental.

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And FunkyTown, SoulSearcher, Jason_J, and AndyPG... and even Anddenex are Ninjas... they come and poof, they're gone again...

 

Didn't notice that my absence was noted. I was inactive on here for a while because I normally access the site on my phone and couldn't for the longest time (Pam, love the new mobile version btw).

 

I'm terrible with keeping up with threads, but now as I try to spread my LDS wings, I'm going to try to post more (and get my theological speculations torn apart!)

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In many cases, I feel it necessary to defend the church. When someone says something that insults the church, encourages negativity toward it, attacks it or its principles, etc., I often find it obligatory to speak up.  As is obvious, this leads to contention sometimes. I don't like to argue. I like to advance correct principles and defend the gospel.

 

It's a very tough balance to stay contention free and to stand up for the church.

 

I find it a bit funny, actually. I work very, very hard to not ever get personal. You won't seem me (hopefully) telling people they're arrogant, ignorant, self-righteous, etc. (something that others do to me consistently), and yet people do seem to often take offense at me (usually in terms of thinking me arrogant, ignorant, self-righteous, etc...) I figure I have to respond one of two ways -- in balance. 1. Stand up for the gospel and the church in spite of getting scorn for it. 2. Honestly take a look at how I communicate and improve that. The balance between these two things is very interesting. There are many situations where others take offense merely because I don't agree with them, and in those cases, I simply do not feel culpable. There are also many situations where I see that I could have said something better.

 

If I were to take some posters on here at their word, I would have to accept that I'm just a horrible, horrible person.

 

I'm actually a really nice guy (okay...that may be arrogant :)). But if someone attacks the gospel or the church, I'm stepping up.

 

However when one tells another poster that their comment is nonsense or baloney there can be a perception of an attack on them.

 

I think many of us (myself included), could find some kinder words to use to disagree.

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However when one tells another poster that their comment is nonsense or baloney there can be a perception of an attack on them.

 

I think many of us (myself included), could find some kinder words to use to disagree.

 

With this, I agree.

 

Though, in many cases, it is an issue of tone. I forget that tone and the wry smile that might accompany a spoken response does not come across in writing. In other cases, I'm trying to be forceful and purposely not friendly. Either way, I agree.

 

Incidentally, I always struggle with spelling it baloney instead of bologna. ;) 

 

Other words/phrases to clean up: Garbage. Rubbish. Ridiculous. Hogwash. Poppycock. Drivel. What did you smoke this morning? Etc.

 

I'll try instead: I disagree. That doesn't make sense to me. The church doesn't teach that. That's incongruent with what I understand to be true. Etc.

 

I've also been working on adding "IMO" or the like into my posts lately. Whereas I have always viewed IMO as obvious (everything said by anyone is their opinion) it seems to soften things.

 

Other people add "respectfully" or the like at the start of a disagreement. This can be effective if not overused. If it's always used it can come across as insincere. This is also true of closing statements that are "God bless you" and the like. This is particularly true if "respectfully" is followed by something akin to "you are ignorant" or something.

 

In the end, I somewhat wonder if removing "nonsense" and the like from posts will make a difference in the amount of brawls that occur. (I suspect it won't). But either way, it is, ultimately, about who I should be, and not about how others are, that matters. Therefore, I choose to commit to take these sorts of phrases out of my posts, and please feel free to call me on it if I forget or fail.

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Awww, bless your heart!

 

 

I don't know if I've posted this on here before, but I have a southern sister-in-law who jokingly points out that you can get away with anything insulting if you add "bless his/her heart" to it.

 

"That boy's a real idiot, bless his heart."

 

and so forth.

 

Of course it doesn't play in writing. You have to have the tone, and, of course, a southern accent helps. :)

 

Maybe that's the solution:

 

"Nonsense, bless your heart."

 

 

 

 

 

 

No?

 

 

 

 

 

:banana:

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And again. We don't announce actions we have taken as a moderating staff.  We do suspensions.  There is just not anything showing that we have done that action.  Unless you are on the site every single day and follow all threads, you may not even notice that it has been a few days since someone posted.

 

As I mentioned earlier, there is a lot that goes on behind the scenes that the general public is not aware of.

 

This is a little OT but, on the old forum, it someone was suspended you could read it under their username. Same if a post got edited, it would mention it in that post. With this forum, if I edit one of my posts, it doesn't say it's been edited. Is that being worked on?

 

M.

Edited by Maureen
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This is a little OT but, on the old forum, it someone was suspended you could read it under their username. Same if a post got edited, it would mention it in that post. With this forum, if I edit one of my posts, it doesn't say it's been edited. Is that being worked on?

 

M.

 

Ignore this post, I found the "edited by" button. :)

 

M.

Edited by Maureen
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