How to help when someone is diagnosed with cancer


notquiteperfect
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I haven't had cancer but I worked in hospice.  We found that anything we could do to help them continue to have quality of life was what was most appreciated.  Cancer patients also need a place to talk about their feelings and be heard.  Sometimes this means we hear some really hard things without saying things like "You can hang in there."  "This will get easier."  "You'll beat this."  Sometimes they need to be able to talk about dying without judgement - just listen with love.

 

On a more day-to-day basis.  Finding the foods/dishes they can eat without throwing up and delivering it hot and ready (or something they can microwave when they feel up to eating) is very helpful.  

 

Sometimes its just a good friend to sit on the porch with.

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I had a sister in law die of cancer. She and my brother were not members of the church. One of times we went to visit and my wife and I both knew she wasn't long for this life we taught her the Plan of Salvation. She was laying in bed as we told her about it and the she sat straight up in her bed and said.....yes...yes....I believe that too. She died about two weeks later. I conducted and spoke at her funeral. Recently my wife went took her name to the Temple and did her work.

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My dad went through several rounds of chemo. He spends about 6 hours in the hospital getting his infusions and then back again 3 weeks later. There were several people that he meets every 3 weeks getting their own infusions. Somebody always goes with my dad on his day because my mom goes to all of them. A lot of times, one of us kids stay with my dad too because my mom wouldn't go to the bathroom or get food if nobody will take over. My mom doesn't drive and we refused to have dad drive to his chemo so one of us kids drive him over.

The first day I went with my dad, dad introduced me to his "classmates". Every single one of them were alone, they drove themselves there, get their infusions, take some time to recover then they drive themselves home. They were so excited to meet me because my mom has been talking to them about her children. They told me they are so grateful to my parents for keeping them company and my mom even brings snacks to them. So, while I was there, I got them snacks too. I brought my crochet kit with me to keep me occupied while sitting with my dad and I ended up teaching one of them how to make a beanie hat. Their hair were so thin they were almost bald and the room was very cold. I made a beanie hat for my dad but I ended up giving it away to somebody else. They loved me there - like I was partying!

What I noticed was, most of the chemo patients I met there are hungry for social interaction and family. There are a few who wanted to be left alone though, and they slept through their chemo...

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People, especially people who are facing their mortality, want to know that they are cared for and thought of by others. Too often we back away when someone we know is facing the end of their life, when instead we should be coming closer. You don't need to do anything grand or exciting, just be there for them, and talk to them. Provide needed service, Help take the load and stress off the surviving caregiver(s).

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People, especially people who are facing their mortality, want to know that they are cared for and thought of by others. Too often we back away when someone we know is facing the end of their life, when instead we should be coming closer. You don't need to do anything grand or exciting, just be there for them, and talk to them. Provide needed service, Help take the load and stress off the surviving caregiver(s).

Sometimes we can teach them the Gospel without their knowing it. Help prepare them. (My opinion )

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