Is it okay to marry a foreign man?


Recommended Posts

A former Prohet while alive always said two people who are or were complete strangers could be sealed in the Temple and if they stay true to their covenants and stay active in church they could have a Happy Marriage. In his book he never stated whether you should be from the same country. I would go for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A former Prohet while alive always said two people who are or were complete strangers could be sealed in the Temple and if they stay true to their covenants and stay active in church they could have a Happy Marriage. In his book he never stated whether you should be from the same country. I would go for it.

 

I couldn't imagine any scenario where I could sleep in the same room as someone I didn't know really well and trust them not to murder me in my sleep :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A former Prohet while alive always said two people who are or were complete strangers could be sealed in the Temple and if they stay true to their covenants and stay active in church they could have a Happy Marriage. In his book he never stated whether you should be from the same country. I would go for it.

 

I'm trying to remember who said this. Was it Spencer W. Kimball?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm trying to remember who said this. Was it Spencer W. Kimball?

Yes it was him......I believe it was in his book titled Marriage.......I have a few copies of the book and anytime a couple came to me and said they were going to be married I asked the. To read that book together and come back to me a two weeks and we will talk again.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes it was him......I believe it was in his book titled Marriage.......I have a few copies of the book and anytime a couple came to me and said they were going to be married I asked the. To read that book together and come back to me a two weeks and we will talk again.

 

reading?! why start it off on the most boring foot lol

 

I kid, though I do wonder if I would do any reading...I mean the people who write these books certainly don't envision people like me existing, or getting married.

The crazy such as myself are seldom successful at it, but I'd read President Kimball's book anyway, wouldn't hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

reading?! why start it off on the most boring foot lol

 

I kid, though I do wonder if I would do any reading...I mean the people who write these books certainly don't envision people like me existing, or getting married.

The crazy such as myself are seldom successful at it, but I'd read President Kimball's book anyway, wouldn't hurt.

 

But then this isn't about you.  It's about the person who asked the question in the OP.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What Kimball said is very true; however I would be extremely cautious.  I would get to know his culture extremely well and I would be prepared to make some sacrifices.  For example, what if he wanted to move back to his home country?  Would you be okay with this.  Other cultures have very different views of male/female relationships.  Without knowing your background it is impossible to guess, but latinos for example have a very macho culture.

 

In general get to know his family extremely well, get to know how he was raised.  If there are things that make you uncomfortable now, be prepared b/c in general if it makes you a little uncomfortable prior to marriage when the love bugs are flying it will be very difficult after the infatuation wears off and the real work of marriage begins.

 

If he is of a different religion then you've got several strikes that will make marriage very hard.  Is it doable? Sure, but in general the closer your husband's culture matches yours the better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like there's a lot more to this story: Potatofour, who are you interested in?

 

Are you interested in a specific person or is this more a generic 'Just in case I fall in love with a foreigner'.

 

I happened to be the foreigner who got married to a wonderful girl. I can say that, even between England and Canada, there are enough cultural differences that we still laugh at things.

 

Like, I can't walk up and talk about buying pants in a talk here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like there's a lot more to this story: Potatofour, who are you interested in?

 

Are you interested in a specific person or is this more a generic 'Just in case I fall in love with a foreigner'.

 

I happened to be the foreigner who got married to a wonderful girl. I can say that, even between England and Canada, there are enough cultural differences that we still laugh at things.

 

Like, I can't walk up and talk about buying pants in a talk here.

That would be embarrassing.......Lol
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like there's a lot more to this story: Potatofour, who are you interested in?

 

Are you interested in a specific person or is this more a generic 'Just in case I fall in love with a foreigner'.

 

I happened to be the foreigner who got married to a wonderful girl. I can say that, even between England and Canada, there are enough cultural differences that we still laugh at things.

 

Like, I can't walk up and talk about buying pants in a talk here.

 

But yet people are okay with talking about garments.  haha  Pants in the UK and garments. What's the dif?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
Posted · Hidden by estradling75, November 24, 2014 - Not a good match for this site
Hidden by estradling75, November 24, 2014 - Not a good match for this site

Hey I'm Evan "The Bergster" Bergo (I spent three years studying foreign marriages so you can trust my input). (Trust me). During my travels in the Appalachians, I met a wise young scholar with a smoking hot bod. We made sweet passionate love, and got married that same day. She was Asian, and I'm white. We have been married happily since, so don't let nobody tell you 'bout your feels, girlllll.

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

I had to reply based on my experiences. CAUTION: your sense of having been offended may not tolerate my sense of humor!

 

After two failed marriages to American women, I met and married a European lady who is the ultimate match for me: Our sense of humor leaves us in stitches when we joke, we talk far too late into the night about everything, we love each other's family, and one another's children. I could not imagine being married to another selfish, spoiled, lazy, boring American princess who thinks she is the gold plated version of Woman. My lady is the perfect mix of independence, career driven, homemaker, she possesses beauty, brains, personality, fun, confidence, intuition, and intelligence. 

 

The real funny part of this is, the most bigoted man on the planet (my father) asked me during our engagement "does it have to be a foreign woman?"  We laugh about his comment to this day, and he thinks she placed the moon in the sky. 

 

Pray, study, date, observe, and then make the plunge. Your life will never be the same. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All this talk about using filters to find a wife is very amusing, because I know a fair number of single men who have very modest requirements for a spouse: two X chromosomes and a pulse.

 

But your discussion of your European wife was joyous.  Wishing you many years of happiness. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's doabl but be prepared to face extra challenges that otherwise you wouldn't face coming from the same cultural background. One thing not mentioned that I wanted to bring up is not to get infatuated by fanciful stereotypes. I can't tell you how many times I've heard women (mostly of my own race, which is Filipino) talk about how wonderful it would be to marry an American man and how all their problems would just go away. I've seen a similar, though reversed mindset, from men who think that marrying an Asian (or third world woman) will guarantee him a subservient wife. Don't allow yourself to fall into this fantasy world. People are people. Doesn't matter what country or race you are, we all have wants and needs, dreams and aspirations - opinions (believe it or not). If you do find yourself relating to someone from another country, move forwards by learning about their culture, and what their family does as tradition. Also, be open about how YOU were raised and the things you will continue to do as tradition. Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too am the foreign man in this scenario!

Our case is much like that of funkytown, and the differences between English US and English UK has caused some amusement and annoyance at times, such as a slight mishap at our wedding, where I requested a specific food product to be available for guests, only to find out after it had been purchased that the product name I asked for means something very different in the states, which is where our wedding was held. I admit that I may have muttered a few four letter words that day.

Cultural and language differences aside, another issue to be aware of, that I certainly wasnt expecting at the time, is reactions of family members and friends on both sides. Marrying a foreigner seems to come with its own unique set of accusations and criticisms that can be difficult to handle unless you have a very thick skin. I can't tell you hown many times I was shamelessly accused of being a fraud by people very close to my wife, and marrying my wife only to get a US green card.

Certain close members of my family caused a lot of pain for my wife as well, which wouldn't have happened had she been British and not American. They are a big part of the reason that we moved to the states after living for the first almost three years of our marriage in the UK.

Edited by Mahone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest LiterateParakeet

I'm trying to remember who said this. Was it Spencer W. Kimball?

 

An older friend of mine told me she was once dating a man from Iran (or Iraq) they fell in love and were planning to get married.  He was planning a visit home and they were trying to decide if she should go with him, move the wedding up etc.  They had an opportunity to meet with Pres. Kimball.  He counseled the young man to go home to visit, and my friend to stay here and wait for him.  

The young man decided not to return to the US.  So they never married.  My friend says every time she sees the movie, Not Without My Daughter, she thinks of that guy, and is grateful things didn't work out.  :)  I

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Subservient Filipino wives is the biggest oxymoron ever. Lol!!!

This is true, ha.

 

A coworker, though I consider her more as a friend, is also from the Philippines - born and raised through and through. She met her husband online, who is American, and at the time she lived in Japan. They met and were shortly married. The husband jokes about how seemingly naive she was during their courtship and first bit of marriage, but now, she totally runs the house! She is a wonderful, kind, but opinionated woman. Anyone that thinks Asian women are shy and subservient will quickly change their minds after meeting her :) She is a firecracker.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share