Is it okay to marry a foreign man?


Recommended Posts

I spose there might be some wisdom in advising one to marry "what you know".  But I think this advise might be a bit outdated.  The world is becoming a much smaller place.  Cultures are shifting and merging...not that they didn't before...just that I think it's happening in real time.

 

Marry who you want and then love them for who and what they are.   I can't think what makes better marriage than that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My father married a foreigner 54 years ago and they are still married. I married a foreigner more than 25 years ago and we are still going strong, although we both continue to be strongly influenced by the very different cultures in which we grew up. There is a chance that my daughter might end up marrying a foreigner as might my son. It is certainly no sin but it certainly does bring with it a multitude of challenges that need to be dealt with. 

Edited by askandanswer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jacob 5 is all about taking branches (people?) from one part of the vineyard (the world) to another, far distant part of the vineyard, and grafting (marrying?)  those branches into a different tree. When Jacob 5 is read in this way, it seems clear that the Lord is not opposed to foreign marriages.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My mom always disourage me to marry a foreign man.. Is it a commandment not to marry a foreign man? She almost say that it is a commandment :/

You mother didn't just make it up and I think you see validation is some of the posts. 

 

Are familiar with the term "picking a hard row to hoe"?  As if marriage wasn't hard enough, marrying someone with cultural differences can be overwhelming. Just know you picked the row to hoe and when the going get tough, you have to stick with it. In other words, "you've been warned". 

 

I recently returned from visiting my son (USA born) in Peru, where he lives with his new Peruvian family. When talking about an American we met there that day, who was dating a Peruvian woman and thinking about marriage, without skipping a beat my son said, "I wouldn't recommend it".  

 

Having said that, I love the Peruvians. They are great people. But, day to day life is very, very different. Values and customs are very, very different. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Subservient Filipino wives is the biggest oxymoron ever. Lol!!!

 

Ironically, I think some Asian women believe that American men are uber-polite, egalitarian, easy-going, and oh so willing to do the dishes.  Of course, in the case of my marriage, all that proved to be true... ::: cough ::: !!!  :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been married to a foreign woman for 23 years. We have had challenges, but, we worked through them.

 

The commandment you are referring to was given to ancient Israel.  They were told not to marry outside the COVENANT. In their day that meant anyone not of Israel.  Today the General Authorities still counsel us not to marry outside the covenant due to religious differences that may pull us away from the Path of Righteousness.  Ultimately it is your choice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ironically, I think some Asian women believe that American men are uber-polite, egalitarian, easy-going, and oh so willing to do the dishes.  Of course, in the case of my marriage, all that proved to be true... ::: cough ::: !!!  :lol:

 

PC, this isn't your wife is it? :P  Maybe I'm going nutty but I thought you'd mentioned she's Korean?

 

Lucky for me, my husband had a mother that whipped him and his brothers into fine shape, ensuring they knew how to cook and clean up after themselves. It is such a blessing. Even though his mother drives me crazy, I am grateful for the things she taught him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She is Korean...but, in reality, she didn't marry an American, and I didn't marry a Korean.  We married each other!  it is ironic that in the late 80s American men were stereo typed as kind, egalitarian, and helpful around the house, and Asian women were still stereo typed as "traditional."  Even as young kids in our 20s we saw through that nonsense.  :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

you guys are horrible. If you love the man, then do what it feels like in your heart. THere is no perfect marriage.

 

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean you can have a fantastic life with everybody. Just because you don’t have to wait for the one doesn’t mean you should settle for just anyone. President David O. McKay taught, "In choosing a companion, it is necessary to study . . . the one with whom you are contemplating making life's journey."

Factors such as money, life goals, mental health, differences in religion, pre-marital cohabitation, relationships with family, and basic personality should all be accounted for. Braithwaite concluded through his graduate work that studies can predict the likelihood of success or failure in a marriage with up to 94 percent accuracy based on many of these sorts of issues.

But no matter whom you pick to date or marry, there will still be troubled times. Braithwaite showed the thinking of many couples as such: “If things start to go wrong in my marriage, it is a sign I married the wrong person. You start to think, ‘I need to get out of my marriage.’”

Not so. If it’s up to us to choose whom we wish to marry, it’s also up to us to make it work. The one person with whom life will be eternal bliss with nary a conflict does not exist except in tween romance novels. Love can conquer all, but only with a healthy dose of compromise, humility, charity, service, and a whole lot more thrown in. Look back at President Kimball’s quote: “Almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

No matter where you are in life, you can take this into account and apply it. If you’re married, realize that whatever problems you have don’t mean you can’t be happy, that you weren’t actually meant to be together and someone else would have made you happier. And if you’re single, remind yourself you don’t have to have fireworks exploding in the sky to give you confirmation this is the person you should date. If he (or she) makes you happy, go for it! That’s what I’m doing. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2014-08-31 at 3:54 AM, potatofour said:

My mom always disourage me to marry a foreign man.. Is it a commandment not to marry a foreign man? She almost say that it is a commandment :/

There is no commandment against it, but there are things to be cautious of.  First of all, if this was a long distance relationship then you REALLY need to spend a lot of time living in the same city and dating and hanging out like a 'normal' dating couple before you get married.  There is a LOT you don't know about a person when all you've had is a LDR, sometimes because in a LDR it is easy to hide the bad parts of yourself, sometimes just because the lack of real contact prevents you from getting to really know them. 

Second, if they come from a very different culture you need to understand the differences and how that impacts their expectations of you in marriage.  My sister in law married an Arab, who was all kind and charming when dating, but his idea of how a wife is obligated to behave didn't fit well with western culture and the marriage failed.  I've heard similar stories from many who have married men from middle eastern countries and some of those women were really abused, but their husbands didn't see it as abuse even because of the culture they grew up in.  Same thing can happen with other cultures.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share