I'M SO SCARED. PLEASE HELP!


LDS24/7
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Hi guys,

Any advice or support you can give is greatly appreciated.

Not going into detail, I've done something I wish I'd never done, have since repented and am fully committed to never doing it again. I feel like I've turned my whole life around since then. I've been reading my scriptures nightly (which I never did before) for quite a while now (not sure how long, but probably more than six months at least) and have been praying morning and night and everywhere in between. I know that I've grown so much and have truly changed. I feel like I'm living the Gospel more than ever before and I see God's hand in my life more than I used to. I know that I'm a very different person from the one I was when I committed this sin. I want so much to do the right things and forsake evil. I want to be good and help people every day.

I know what I did was wrong and I'll never do it again. I've had nothing to do with the sin whatsoever for over a year and in other ways for multiple years.

However, I'm constantly worried that this sin will come back to haunt me, even though I know I've been forgiven and that I'm 100% committed to forsaking the sin. I've cut out everything that could tempt me to do it again and filled my life with wholesome activites.

I just want to put it behind me once and for all and be free from this guilt. I'm just so mentally exhausted!

Please help.

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Yes you didn't mention if you talked to your Bishop about this.  If this is something you should talk to your Bishop about you would still need to do this if you haven't.

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Hi guys,

However, I'm constantly worried that this sin will come back to haunt me, even though I know I've been forgiven and that I'm 100% committed to forsaking the sin. I've cut out everything that could tempt me to do it again and filled my life with wholesome activites.

I just want to put it behind me once and for all and be free from this guilt. I'm just so mentally exhausted!

Please help.

You say that you know that you have been forgiven. If that is so, that part that many people get hung up on is forgiving themselves.

The part where you say you are constantly worried that the sin will comeback to haunt you is scary. Have you ever heard that what you think about expands? In other words if you keep worrying about this you could be creating a self full feeling prophecy. Be careful what you focus on.

Like others above have said, there are certain things that must be cleared up with the help of your bishop.

Hang in there, and be open to answers.

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I would encourage you to speak with your Bishop about this, too. He can provide reassurance, comfort, and solace to your troubled spirit. You have already done everything required to repent of this thing you did, except perhaps confess it. You don't go into detail about what you did, nor do you need to here in this venue. Just be aware that severe sins need to be confessed to the Bishop, so that he may assist you in a loving way. You are a child of God, and He ever awaits with open arms to pour out His blessings upon you.

Please speak with your Bishop so that he can help you, and get this burden lifted from your shoulders so that it will never trouble you further.

Best wishes, and may the living Redeemer calm your troubled heart.

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Repented or not, some sins can return to haunt us because that's life. I interpreted your fear as consequences of the sin popping back into your life.

So, think practically. What scenarios do you fear happening? Now think of ways to handle, prevent, or survive those.

Getting some basic plans will help.

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Hi guys,

Any advice or support you can give is greatly appreciated.

Not going into detail, I've done something I wish I'd never done, have since repented and am fully committed to never doing it again. I feel like I've turned my whole life around since then. I've been reading my scriptures nightly (which I never did before) for quite a while now (not sure how long, but probably more than six months at least) and have been praying morning and night and everywhere in between. I know that I've grown so much and have truly changed. I feel like I'm living the Gospel more than ever before and I see God's hand in my life more than I used to. I know that I'm a very different person from the one I was when I committed this sin. I want so much to do the right things and forsake evil. I want to be good and help people every day.

I know what I did was wrong and I'll never do it again. I've had nothing to do with the sin whatsoever for over a year and in other ways for multiple years.

However, I'm constantly worried that this sin will come back to haunt me, even though I know I've been forgiven and that I'm 100% committed to forsaking the sin. I've cut out everything that could tempt me to do it again and filled my life with wholesome activites.

I just want to put it behind me once and for all and be free from this guilt. I'm just so mentally exhausted!

Please help.

The fear you feel is part of what Satan makes us fill (well motivates) so that we feel that we will never be free of the temptation again...or so that we just give up and no longer try. If this is a very serious sin, have you spoken with Church Leaders?
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi guys,

Any advice or support you can give is greatly appreciated.

Not going into detail, I've done something I wish I'd never done, have since repented and am fully committed to never doing it again. I feel like I've turned my whole life around since then. I've been reading my scriptures nightly (which I never did before) for quite a while now (not sure how long, but probably more than six months at least) and have been praying morning and night and everywhere in between. I know that I've grown so much and have truly changed. I feel like I'm living the Gospel more than ever before and I see God's hand in my life more than I used to. I know that I'm a very different person from the one I was when I committed this sin. I want so much to do the right things and forsake evil. I want to be good and help people every day.

I know what I did was wrong and I'll never do it again. I've had nothing to do with the sin whatsoever for over a year and in other ways for multiple years.

However, I'm constantly worried that this sin will come back to haunt me, even though I know I've been forgiven and that I'm 100% committed to forsaking the sin. I've cut out everything that could tempt me to do it again and filled my life with wholesome activites.

I just want to put it behind me once and for all and be free from this guilt. I'm just so mentally exhausted!

Please help.

 

IMO

Just relax.  Do your best to avoid whatever it is.  Remember, there is something called the Atonement.  Sometimes we forget that we are allowed to repent.  Don't destroy yourself by dwelling on it - just move on.  If you come to a point where you might need help, then seek it. You're ok.  :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Don't let you fool yourself. I probably shouldn't say this cause that would make me a hypocrite, but if your sin was serious, no matter how much better off you are now, you need to tell your bishop, I have no clue what will happen in that office but what is there to lose? I know how you feel though. Well at least I think I do.... But good luck out there kiddo.

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  • 1 month later...

Well, at least you are learning that using fear to manage the natural man doesn't really work so well.  It wears you out!

 

What if you tried a different psychology when evaluating your behavior?  Like love for example.  

 

Working with the natural man is a lot like working with kids.  You can scream at them, punish them, and threaten them.  Then they will hate you and rebel.  Or you can let them walk all over you and watch them become spoiled entitled brats.  Or you can love, support, and guide them with good counsel and proper limits.  And lots of times we just have to trust them.

 

I have no clue whether a confession to the bishop would help you or not.  But don't you think you should stop all this worry and just trust yourself?  Why fear the natural man more than you trust your spirit self?  Half the problem with self mastery is all the fear.  Fear just makes us weak and reactive.  Trust makes us strong and flexible and wise.

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I'm gonna go against the grain here and not give the standard auto-answer of "Go to the Bishop."

 

Now, it is true that Bishops have a way of helping us put things into perspective and give reassurance, and that's very valuable.  Bishops can help with guilt in this way.

 

However:

 

This isn't Catholicism where the clergy gives absolution for sins.  That's between you and the Lord.  The purpose of a Bishop is to provide whatever support and counsel is needed, and if it's a problem you're still having and struggling with, or if it's really severe, to respond according to Church guidelines, such as offering more detailed assistance, disciplinary response, etc.  

 

I go against the grain on this because I see a troubling tendency for people to think litigiously about this stuff and that leads to Pharisaical thinking.  That, in turn leads us to act like robots and not use discernment or critical thinking.  I mean no offense to anybody when I say this, it's just that I've seen how much people stress over this sort of thing and that can be pretty damaging to one's spiritual health.

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  • 4 weeks later...

As someone who has experience guilt from past mistakes even AFTER going to the Bishop, let me tell you something.

The Lord is the only one in existence who can bring you peace and comfort, but without a willing heart and mind, even He cannot force that peace onto you.

 

Whatever sin you've committed, big or small, is just one of your steps to growth. If you have repented, have eliminated that negativity from your life, and strive to continue living wholesomely, then all that remains is for you to forgive yourself. Sometimes a Bishop can help with this, sometimes (such as in my case) it takes a bit more. Sin is very very tricky, because all the evil powers that be don't want to let us forget them. But we all make mistakes, and you sound so sincere.

My advice? And this is tricky... don't give those thoughts any sway. Don't let them keep you up at night. Think instead of the spirit, the joys you experience daily, and the good you are able to do. Think of your friends and good family members, of the service you preform (and if you ain't doing service, start, it really does make a difference!).

You don't have to think of the past to keep it from happening again. The memory will always be in you somewhere. You can handle anything with your will and the power of the Lord.

 

Keep fighting, fight it off

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Not to mention the fact that I believe every situation happens for a reason. You've learned a lesson, and that can make a huge difference for you or someone else in the future. Turn that weakness into a strength! Who knows what you can accomplish!

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I'm don't know the details of the sin you're agonizing over, or probably what their implications are in the context in the LDS faith. What I do know, however, is that the purpose of Christ's coming, and by extension the Church, is to save us from sin and death. Whatever your transgressions, be they great or small, there is forgiveness to be found and the hope of salvation.

 

For what its worth, I definitely recommend going back to Church, and if your past sins weigh so heavily upon your mind, talking about them with your bishop may be of some comfort. I know that LDS bishops don't give absolution in the same way that our Catholic priests do, but never-the-less hearing a representative of the Church tell you that there is hope for forgiveness and helping you to work towards it may be of great comfort.

 

Know that you're in my prayers, and I'd imagine in the prayers of everybody else here.

 

-Claire

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  • 5 weeks later...

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