melissaclee Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Okay so we have this really sweet family in our neighborhood. Every time they come to pick their kids up if we are doing a babysitting swap or we have them over for dinner or they are just visiting they ask if they can leave with a prayer. I am just wondering what other's thoughts are on this? Do you think their request is undermining my husband's priesthood authority in his own home? Is it a nice gesture or is it rude? I can understand this request coming from missionaries who are visiting or home teachers/visiting teachers but neighbors and friends, I am not too sure what to think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztodd Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 hehe, that's kinda tricky. I don't know if it's undermining your husband's priesthood, or rude, or whatnot... do you feel like you're being un-rightly judged or anything like that? I think there wouldn't be anything wrong with you telling them that you'd prefer to leave it to your husband to make the call for a "closing prayer". Maybe ask them if there's some reason they feel like they need a prayer whenever you see them, hahaha... keep it light-hearted I say. Don't let it cause any bad feelings. melissaclee and Anddenex 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Okay so we have this really sweet family in our neighborhood. Every time they come to pick their kids up if we are doing a babysitting swap or we have them over for dinner or they are just visiting they ask if they can leave with a prayer. I am just wondering what other's thoughts are on this? Do you think their request is undermining my husband's priesthood authority in his own home? Is it a nice gesture or is it rude? I can understand this request coming from missionaries who are visiting or home teachers/visiting teachers but neighbors and friends, I am not too sure what to think. Go a head and say a prayer and include something like "And please bless our neighbors with a stronger spriit so they will not fell it necessary to have a prayer so many times." The Folk Prophet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 I don't think it undermines your husband's priesthood authority, but it's really weird. StallionMcBeastly 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Yeah, I think this family just a weird quirk. Don't let it bother you. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notquiteperfect Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 I'd be tempted to respond with "No, thanks. We've done enough praying today." (followed with a hearty laugh of course). :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegaseamaster75 Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Okay so we have this really sweet family in our neighborhood. Every time they come to pick their kids up if we are doing a babysitting swap or we have them over for dinner or they are just visiting they ask if they can leave with a prayer. I am just wondering what other's thoughts are on this? Do you think their request is undermining my husband's priesthood authority in his own home? Is it a nice gesture or is it rude? I can understand this request coming from missionaries who are visiting or home teachers/visiting teachers but neighbors and friends, I am not too sure what to think.I think it undermines his priesthood authority, I wouldn't tolerate it mdfxdb 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdfxdb Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 I would have a problem with it. A one off.... OK, but every time? I would ask, and then I would not permit it. They can pray in their car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaclee Posted October 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 hehe, that's kinda tricky. I don't know if it's undermining your husband's priesthood, or rude, or whatnot... do you feel like you're being un-rightly judged or anything like that? I think there wouldn't be anything wrong with you telling them that you'd prefer to leave it to your husband to make the call for a "closing prayer". Maybe ask them if there's some reason they feel like they need a prayer whenever you see them, hahaha... keep it light-hearted I say. Don't let it cause any bad feelings. I don't really feel like I am being judged but it just feels really weird and kind of distracts from the spirit of our home. It kind of feels like they are acting like they have some type of spiritual authority over us. They are in their early 20's and about 8 years younger than we are which makes it feel even weirder. We love our neighbors and enjoy our association with them but them asking to leave with prayer does kind of make me second guess inviting them over. Maybe I should have my husband talk to the husband of the other family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 One can never pray enough. It's not undermining anyone's authority - you don't need an ok from priesthood authority to pray. I'd welcome the prayer... anything that brings us closer to God is a good thing. Next time, I'd offer the prayer before she gets the opportunity to ask, then I can assign who gets to lead it. Anyway, I find it disturbing that people would feel uncomfortable when somebody wants to pray. But, that's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted October 17, 2014 Report Share Posted October 17, 2014 Do you consider these neighbours of yours as friends? If you do, then just ask them why they feel the need to always close with a prayer ever time they visit you in your home. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolarVortex Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 I'm reluctant to pass judgement on a situation that was summed up in three very short paragraphs, and I wonder if there is more to the story. I think you need more data. The next time they're over, maybe you could casually steer the conversation to the topic of prayer and ask them what they think about the best times to pray. Maybe they're trying to set good examples for the kids. Maybe they come from families that pray about everything. Maybe they think you need all the prayer you can get. Just sit and chat about prayer. You'd probably learn from them as much as they learn from you, and you'll be in a much better position to decide whether your daily farewell protocols need any changes. When I was an investigator, the missionaries would come to my house and park in my driveway directly under my kitchen window. One cold night I heard them drive up a few minutes early, but they stayed in the car. I was curious... I had no idea what they were doing and figured they were playing cards or something until it was time for our meeting. So I turned out the kitchen lights and peered through the curtains. They were praying, and it's a safe bet that they were praying for me. I'll never forget the warm spirit of gratitude that flooded into me. Prayers can be a gift, and refusing a gift without a good reason generally isn't good etiquette. Anddenex, ztodd and Sunday21 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 That is unusual, but I agree with the others who said that it isn't undermining your husband, and as Anatess said we really can't pray too much. :) I also agree with PolarVortex, that you should simply talk to them about it. I don't really feel like I am being judged but it just feels really weird and kind of distracts from the spirit of our home. It kind of feels like they are acting like they have some type of spiritual authority over us. They are in their early 20's and about 8 years younger than we are which makes it feel even weirder. We love our neighbors and enjoy our association with them but them asking to leave with prayer does kind of make me second guess inviting them over. Maybe I should have my husband talk to the husband of the other family? I totally understand what you are saying here and I would likely feel the same way. I have to add though...then I would stop myself and say, "There I go being prideful again. Why am I feeling like spirituality is some sort of competition? Or am I worrying what they think of me. Only One opinion matters." I give myself this pride pep talk ALL the time. I must be a slow learner, LOL. But seriously, I do think it is our pride that makes us respond this way, and being more humble will make us a lot happier. Just food for thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaclee Posted October 18, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 One can never pray enough. It's not undermining anyone's authority - you don't need an ok from priesthood authority to pray. I'd welcome the prayer... anything that brings us closer to God is a good thing. Next time, I'd offer the prayer before she gets the opportunity to ask, then I can assign who gets to lead it. Anyway, I find it disturbing that people would feel uncomfortable when somebody wants to pray. But, that's just me. I am obviously not against praying, I think it is great. I think it would be wonderful to ask everyone to pray before leaving your own home, however in someone else's home, I feel like it is kind of stepping on toes and you giving an impression that you have some type of spiritual authority over that person. My Parents hardly ever have blessings on food or family prayer but I would never take it upon myself to lead everyone in prayer at my parents house. Because I would not want to undermine my dad's authority. I would just take my own kids aside and pray with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 Anyway, I find it disturbing that people would feel uncomfortable when somebody wants to pray. But, that's just me. I don't think anyone in this thread is suggesting that they're uncomfortable that someone wants to pray. I know I'm not. It is quite bizarre behavior, however, that this family is displaying. If I invite my neighbors over for dinner, we pray before we eat, and then we socialize and have fun. If they suggested "leaving us with a prayer" before walking back across the street, I'd probably laugh and think they were joking. Picking up kids from a babysitting evening does not warrant leaving a prayer on one's home. The behavior is strange, presumptive, and overreaching. Frankly, I'd be quite uncomfortable with such repeated actions, and certainly not because of the praying itself. melissaclee and Leah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted October 18, 2014 Report Share Posted October 18, 2014 This sounds like a LDS equivalent to a "First World Problem" You have a friend who seems like a good friend who wants to pray with you a lot... I wish that was the kind of problems my friends had. Sunday21, jerome1232, ztodd and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaclee Posted October 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 I agree with all of you who have said that I should simply talk to my neighbors. I just wanted some feedback to whether this was normal behaviour within LDS culture that I was not aware of. I do not think my concern is out of pride and it is certainly not something that I let eat away at me. It does however make me want to second guess having my neighbors over in the evenings, hopefully a little chat with them will go well. I certainly do not want to hurt their feelings but I am sure that a chat will be better than avoiding inviting them over. Maureen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztodd Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 Wouldn't hurt to pray about this thing yourself and follow the Spirit. Ya never know when things will be taken differently than you intend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 Missionaries, visiting teachers, and home teachers always want to "leave us with a word of prayer" (is that Mormon terminology, or do others say the same thing?). It's not undermining my husband's authority at all. I always see it as a way to end our time together with an act of love, asking for safety and blessings on my household until we're together again. But those are formal settings that call for it. Your neighbors are a little weird. Well-intentioned, but weird. It kind of reminds me of the guy who carries his mission books around all the time for a long time after his mission. Sweet, but definitely off-center. I'd probably just let it go with gratitude that they care about my home and family, and laugh at them a little when I close the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 (edited) How is is usurping authority to ask? I could see that if they demanded, or simply went ahead and did it. If they're asking the head of the household that is present at the time though, the fact they are asking is an acknowledgement that it isn't their home and they don't have the authority to simple say, "We're all going to have a prayer know." The only way I can see an authority/priesthood issue is if they're asking the someone other than the head of household present. Don't get me wrong, I get it feeling weird as it is unusual behavior, but complaints about it being an authority issue come across like someone complaining, "Every time they're over they offer me a mint and a stick of gum before they leave. How dare they usurp my authority to determine the freshness of my breath!" Edited October 19, 2014 by Dravin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted October 19, 2014 Report Share Posted October 19, 2014 I'm going to guess and say it just might be a habit with these neighbours and they don't think it's weird but quite normal. To each their own. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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