How do I remove my name as a member?

[Jane_Doe]

That was President Eyring's talk: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/continuing-revelation?lang=eng

 

Thank you!

[yjacket]

My faith boils down to 3 basic things. Do I believe in God? Do I believe Christ is His son, and that he atoned for us? Do I believe Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God?

If I find I can answer those, the rest sort of follows naturally, If I cannot, then I know what I need to look at. (For example, If I am not sure Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, Why? How do I find out?)

 

Amen to that.  The first step is to have faith in God, come to know Him, and come to trust Him. If we can do that, the rest will take care of itself because we can have the faith, trust and confidence that as we are seeking to align our lives with His will, He will give us the answers we need, when we need them.  It is given to all mankind that if we are humble, submissive, patient and willing to listen He will manifest Himself to us in His own way and in His own time.

 

It doesn't particularly address Bini, but I absolutely love this video about a desperate man and his search.

[kapikui]

Just a thought, there are numerous ways to "read" something.  The entire thing is available in audio on CD and online.

[Blackmarch]

I've been a bit flighty on here lately, it seems that my days have been busy with too many things to do and keep up with, I haven't found much time to revisit threads that I've started or join in on discussions. But I'm here needing some advice and I'll be responding to whoever takes the time to comment. I'm wanting to remove my name as a member of the Church and I'd like to do this as simply as possible, without having to involve more people than those that are on a need-to-know basis.

T.T Ouch this hit me harder than i thought it would.

If you havent done so i'd recommend the usual fasting and praying and etc.. to get the inspiration you need for something like this. my advice for joining or leaving the church isultimately it's because what God told you to do. This is big juju.

I think that talking to the bishop and having the written letter as expressed in earlier posts is what you'll ultimately want to do. and having a copy of the letter for yourself.

If you have issues with your bishop you can probably get an appointment with the stake president.

[Bini]

Will my resignation letter be received if I send it to Members' Records? Or do they reject that method?

[bytor2112]

I knew the church was all that it claimed to be....before I ever read the Book of Mormon. 

[Anddenex]

Will my resignation letter be received if I send it to Members' Records? Or do they reject that method?

 

Its not rejected; however, it won't result in what you are thinking.  The moment these letters reach the Salt Lake office building they are immediately sent to the stake president who then passes the information to the bishop. 

 

As I am no longer in the bishopric, I am unable to view Handbook 1 anymore; however, there are guidelines within these instructions given to stake presidents and bishops on how to proceed.  Bishop are instructed to meet with members to confirm their desire, express the loss of covenants and blessings they will now forfeit, otherwise how else is the church to know this actually comes from you?

 

If my memory suits me, there is 90 days given to stake presidents/bishops to seek to meet with the party desiring name removal.  After 90 days, they will automatically remove the name -- assuming information runs perfectly.  

Edited December 10, 2014 by Anddenex

[Bini]

I don't intend this to be snide sounding, but I want my name removed as quickly as possible, and without having any further contact from church members. I shouldn't have to attend a meeting with church council, or endure a waiting period. Whatever church procedures need ironing out are concerns of the church and should not delay my wanting to resign. I thought that once my resignation letter has been received, I am no longer affiliated, as I understand legally they cannot bind me any longer than I desire.

I specifically included in my letter that I did not want to be contacted, with the exception, that my letter has been received. I'm hoping someone reads it and respects my wishes.

[Vort]

The Church cannot prevent members from contacting you. If people think you are their friend, they will treat you as a friend, and that includes talking with you, visiting you, and calling you on the phone. You will probably have to tell them individually that you are no longer their friend and that you want them to go away and never contact you again for any reason.

[Anddenex]

I don't intend this to be snide sounding, but I want my name removed as quickly as possible, and without having any further contact from church members. I shouldn't have to attend a meeting with church council, or endure a waiting period. Whatever church procedures need ironing out are concerns of the church and should not delay my wanting to resign. I thought that once my resignation letter has been received, I am no longer affiliated, as I understand legally they cannot bind me any longer than I desire.

I specifically included in my letter that I did not want to be contacted, with the exception, that my letter has been received. I'm hoping someone reads it and respects my wishes.

 

Myth perpetuated on the internet.  While in the bishopric we received one of these letters (off the internet) specifying the Church is not to contact them.

 

We stopped by, let the member know we had received their letter, and had a necessary meeting.  This isn't a church council meeting.  This is simply the bishop contacting the member, either meeting in the bishop's office, or short meeting in the individuals home.  This is to confirm the members decision and to confirm they are actually the individual who sent in the letter.

 

The Church has guidelines as any other organization by which followers follow.  If an individual ignores the bishop's contact, then if memory suits me, the bishop will send a letter letting the member know the letter was received and the blessings they are choosing to forfeit.  

 

Then the letter along with bishops confirmation letter is sent to the Church for official removal.  

Edited December 10, 2014 by Anddenex

[Bini]

I'm a private person and had minimal interaction with church members. I haven't had a visit from anyone in the ward in a long time. I'm more concerned about the bishop trying to persuade me to reconsider. Name removal is confidential, right? If it is, I doubt any of RS will notice. But yes, ultimately, I understand the church doesn't control its members.

[Bini]

I just need confirmation that my letter will be received. I will not be meeting with a bishop.

[rfburn]

I just need confirmation that my letter will be received. I will not be meeting with a bishop.

I received a letter of confirmation from the church (not a bishop) not long (a couple weeks maybe) after I sent my letter requesting my name be removed from membership rolls.

No one ever tried to contact me.

But,I was in a new area where no one knew me.

Finding the letter in the mail that day, brought me no comfort or relief by the way.

Whatever I thought I'd get from it... I did not get.

Edited December 10, 2014 by rfburn

[Anddenex]

Bini, I am providing you with the guidelines a bishop receives from the Handbook of Instructions and what you decide to do is your choice; however, the letter sent will be sent to your stake president and to your bishop.

 

The bishop will seek to contact you.  If you don't want a meeting then you have a couple choices: 1) Ignore the contact 2) Accept contact a have a brief phone or in person discussion.

 

Name removal is not confidential.  All auxiliary leaders will know about the removal especially if any were your home teachers.  Diligent EQPs will recognize names which are no longer on the list and will ask the bishop why and the bishop will inform them of the members decision, and will also inform of a no-contact specification; however, if one member is active expect visits.  

 

If a family member contacts a known bishop and asks about a family member the bishop, nor the Church, are not under any confidentiality agreement to not be honest if a family asks a question about another family member.  The bishop will simply say, they have asked for their name to be removed from the records of the Church.  

 

There isn't any rule also, that the bishop is unable to contact known family members in this decision.  If the bishop is aware, could possibly be a close family friend, he is able to contact family members to confirm or to inquire if they knew of this decision.

 

A lot of myth is on the internet about name removal.  Bini, not seeking to scare or to dissuade your decision; I am letting you know proper guidelines the Church provides to its local leaders.

[Anddenex]

I received a letter of confirmation from the church (not a bishop) not long (a couple weeks maybe) after I sent my letter requesting my name be removed from membership rolls.

 

This was 20 years ago correct rfburn?  Procedures and guidelines have changed since then.  When I was EQP president, around 8 years before being in the bishopric the guidelines were different then also.  

 

The name removal while I was EQP was very different 8 years earlier, then it was while in the bishopric.  I don't know, if this means it was handled different because the bishop wasn't aware of procedure; but I think this was before the new release of the Handbook.  However, I never read Handbook 1 (at that time) which mentioned to bishops on how to proceed with name removal.

Edited December 10, 2014 by Anddenex

[rfburn]

This was 20 years ago correct rfburn? Procedures and guidelines have changed since then.

Yes, 20 years ago.

I'm not claiming my experiance is what Bini can expect.

Just relating it.

[Vort]

Bini, this is an LDS list (pretty obvious, given the name), and almost all of us are active Latter-day Saints. We think of you as a friend, or at least an acquaintance we care about. You publicly announce you're leaving the Church. You can hardly think we're just going to say, "Cool, Bini! That's AWESOME! You go, girl! Good luck outside the Church! See you never!"

 

I'm trying to understand what you're asking for. You can easily find out the information you've asked from any number of sources. You know how to withdraw from the Church. We don't know what your beef is, and you seem not to want to tell us. So, whatever. Your private life is private, and we're not going to pry. You have your reasons plus all the information you need.

 

Honestly, if life outside the LDS Church is what you want, if you think the covenants are meaningless or just something you don't want, then fine. Go the way you think is best. That's your right. I wish you all the best; I'm pretty sure I speak for everyone here in that.

 

So what's with the drama? What's up with the big theatrical exit? What are you looking for from us? How are we supposed to guarantee that no bishop talks to you? What do you expect people here to do or say beyond the extensive help they have already offered you to help you terminate your membership?

 

For that matter, what is so awful about a bishop talking with you to make sure you really did write the letter requesting membership termination? What are you afraid of in talking with some guy about leaving the Church? You think they're going to beat you up? Do a guilt trip? Call your mother? You grew up in the Church. You know how things work. Whether you believe Church doctrine or not, you know full well that you're not going to get strong-armed by anyone. Why the fear? Why the insistence that no one ever contact you evar evar EVAR -- and to a group of people on the internet who can't do anything about it anyway?

 

Seriously, all the best to you. I sincerely hope your life is happy, and I expect I'm joined by everyone else in that wish. But something is very bizarre in this whole situation.

Edited December 10, 2014 by Vort

[Bini]

I'm not a hater in any sense. I'd hope those of you that know me know better than that.

My life (lifestyle) hasn't changed in anyway that contradicts church teachings. I'm not wanting out to be a wild card. Goodness. I need a fresh start, and I need to find out what's truth, on my own. If I get re-baptised, it will be because I understand what I'm getting myself into, but as an 8 year old I just went along with the process - all my other siblings had - it was the next motion to go through.

What am I looking for? I'm looking for quick answers (I welcome experience) regarding topic because just Googling this stuff takes me to angry anti-Mormon sites. That's not me. I have no resentment against the Church. Having been a member on here a good long while, I know there's good people on here, that are capable of answering questions without being biased. That's why I'm here and that's why I posted this. Hope it clears things up a bit.

[Bini]

* I just wanted to emphasise on the personal experience thing. I do appreciate those that have shared. Thanks. I'm not expecting to feel any different once the process is done. I just need an official umbilical cord cut and with minimal interaction. I don't feel that I can remain a member when I don't have enough confirmation on certain things. I need to start over, soul search, etc. I will apologise if my tone is quick, or seemingly so, I think my nerves of telling my parents this holiday (they're staying with us for a week) are starting to get to me. I know my father is going to crack.

[The Folk Prophet]

I suspect it's been said already (haven't read the entire thread), but it does not require abandonment of church membership and re-baptism to learn and re-commit to covenants made.

 

More importantly, giving up the Gift of the Holy Ghost seems a pretty poor way to seek truth. Are you expecting that upon throwing this, one of the greatest of all the gifts of God, back in His face that it will help you feel and learn from the Spirit better?

 

Odd approach to a search for greater truth, imo.

[Blackmarch]

* I just wanted to emphasise on the personal experience thing. I do appreciate those that have shared. Thanks. I'm not expecting to feel any different once the process is done. I just need an official umbilical cord cut and with minimal interaction. I don't feel that I can remain a member when I don't have enough confirmation on certain things. I need to start over, soul search, etc. I will apologise if my tone is quick, or seemingly so, I think my nerves of telling my parents this holiday (they're staying with us for a week) are starting to get to me. I know my father is going to crack.

I've gone through things that are pretty contradictory to church teachings. it is not happiness, nor will it lead to solace, nor can you undo the consequences of it at a moments notice and you will become your own worst enemy... things that i still have to fight and deal with on a daily basis because of it.

I suppose if you want to lose something so that you know the value of it after it's gone may have a certain logic to it but it's a very painful route.

Be very careful, it's very very easy to end up in very dark paths and you will like it, at least until you are so far in it will seem impossible to change or get out, supposing you notice the change at all.

However best of luck to you, whatever you choose remember to pray often... and read the scriptures.

there are times in our when we come to a bridge kind of like the step of faith test in indiana jones and the last crusade.

--------------------------------------

you've mentioned that you don't think you have the experiences that help build the type of testimony you want or would need for being LDS, how interested are you in obtaining those kind of experiences?

Edited December 10, 2014 by Blackmarch

[Bini]

I'm going to sit on it until after the New Year.

[Palerider]

I'm going to sit on it until after the New Year.

I just read your comments above and wondered if you spoke with your Bishop about your feelings and about the possibility of being re-taught. That way you can move at your pace and have time to read and pray and ponder the things they are teaching you.

[Bini]

I just read your comments above and wondered if you spoke with your Bishop about your feelings and about the possibility of being re-taught. That way you can move at your pace and have time to read and pray and ponder the things they are teaching you.

 

I haven't. I haven't wanted to talk to anyone about it. I've only shared my feelings with my husband. I haven't wanted to involve anyone else. I feel that I need to be exposed to and learn about other beliefs before I commit to anything, or, I'm retaught the same thing again. I need inner confirmation and haven't found it yet.

[Magen_Avot]

Bini~

 

Thank you for your post, and I hope that once things calm back down you'll be posting again. LOL, not like I post a lot, but your absence would make a big difference.

 

Journey with Christ.