Please help! I can't stop doubting my talents. Were the teachers wrong?


LDSGirl24
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Hi guys,

I would really appreciate any advice or thoughts you might have on this...

I will preface by saying that I cannot deny that Heavenly Father has given me a talent for reading/writing; I've had too many confirmations that have been answers to prayers.

So...

A while ago I found a paper from Kindergarten identifying me for reading intervention for phonemic awareness (apparently I heard words that rhymed but had trouble naming another) and initial consonants. I've talked to a reading specialist who says this is not uncommon, and that I could've only had this intervention for a little while (which is what I remember).

Regardless, this little yellow piece of paper has totally shot my confidence. I remember always raising my hand in that class and having to force myself to give other kids a chance and my homework from that period is 98% correct. My parents think I'm being ridiculous; they keep telling me God's given me a gift and that this short-term intervention thing means nothing, but I can't stop worrying.

I just have a hard time believing I had this trouble, as I've always been grades ahead in reading and scored at a post-graduate school level (diagnosed as gifted in reading and writing) despite never attending college, and was so sure of myself. I've always felt that reading has come easily to me. I've never had to work at it.

Reading and writing have always been what I've derived my confidence from.

Thing is, I prayed before my "gifted" testing for Heavenly Father to help me know if He'd given me talents for reading and writing, and in the report the psychologist referred to them as "such a talent," and I still to this day feel like this was the answer to my prayer.

I also prayed when I entered some writing contests to make it in and have success if it was His will, and I ended up beating out hundreds of entries.

My Bishop even told me once that I had a way with words and should write a book.

His hand is obvious to me in my life and the more I pray about it, I know I shouldn't worry about this. I know there's no need to worry; all phonemic awareness is is the manipulation of sounds. Not a big deal.

But still...

I feel like this doubt is really affecting my writing career, and I feel really stupid. I know Heavenly Father's probably disappointed in me for doubting these gifts He's given me, but I don't know how to stop.

I can't deny them but I can't calm down.

Please help. Thanks so much! :)

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The purpose of intervention is to reteach a lacking skill. You were probably great in other areas and clearly you learned the skills. And it was kindergarten. You need to tell yourself it was kindergarten.

Also, have you considered what this intervention did for you? It gave you some skills needed to round out your gift.

Edited by Backroads
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Having a gift does not mean that development of the gift is done.  It has only began.  Sometimes developing our gifts comes - not with ease but great difficulty.  If someone has a gift of music they must spend hours in practice before their gift can be recognized as a true gift.  Same with sports - some may have physical gifts but such gifts must be practiced and disciplined to become useful.

 

If you have a gift for writing - you should study, practice, develop and discipline your gift as best you can with the best teacher you can get.  If you do not work at developing your gift - it will become lost to you.  There is a very old saying, "If at first you do not succeed -Try Try again".

 

It appears to me that it is not your gift that has caused you doubts - but your fear of failure.  But it is by failing that the best of talents become the greatest of talents.  So stop doubting and fearing failure and embrace your failures until they become your successes.

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I was a terrible student in high school.  I could never focus on anything, was bored out of my mind, and it was really a waste of time being there.  Early on I was in the top grade bracket of a state-wide mathematics competition, but I just couldn't get into high school.  Later on I studied engineering and completed a five year degree in three years.  It really depends a lot on how things are presented to us as we're developing.

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Malcom Gladwell has a book out called David and Goliath that shows our deficiencies at a young age can become strengths as we use other talents to compensate and overcome those weaknesses. He mentions how many CEO's of major corporations overcame learning disabilities when they were younger. 

 

So if anything learning this little fact about your youth should inspire you and give you the strength to overcome your future challenges. 

 

post-25179-you-can-do-it-gif-Waterboy-Im

Edited by Windseeker
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