Ward Leadership and HT/VT

[char713]

How are Home Teachers and Visiting Teachers organized and their assignments "enforced" if at all?

 

My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years, and have been mostly inactive for the past 2-3 years. Even when we were attending every week, we were never visited or called by a home teacher. We had one for the first two months of our marriage until that great guy moved away. Since then, we have been visited on only two separate times by the Bishopric for what we assumed was Shepherding Night, and once by a pair of home teachers who we got along well with, but they never called again. So all in all, in seven years, we have had three actual home teaching visits. We have asked leadership who our home teachers are, sometimes they were even less-active than we were, and other times they were men we knew well but who never even slightly attempted to get in touch with us for an appointment. 

 

As for Visiting Teaching, I have asked my Relief Society leaders to be included in the rotations whenever possible and I would happily visit my assigned sisters if I had them. I have only ever been included during the first year or so of our marriage, but then the leadership changed and I never heard from anyone about it again. ..Unless I pursued it myself, and even then, nothing. We have since lived in two different wards here in Utah and I have never been visited, much less called. 

 

I remember hearing as a youth that the Bishop(ric)s first priority is the youth of their ward. You would think that new converts and people otherwise in need would be the next on that ladder. Aren't newlyweds kind of important to be "taken-care of?" And less-actives you would think would also be kind of high on that list. Even during those times that my husband and I have been actively seeking attention, as it were, from ward leadership of various levels, we have always felt pretty much completely ignored. 

 

So I guess my question is, should I try being my own enforcer, and track down our home and visiting teachers myself.. or am I right in assuming that less/inactive members do not have anyone assigned to them at all?

[PolarVortex]

The winners in life don't wait for things to happen to them.  Create whatever change you need... it doesn't create itself. 

 

I am still considered "less active" and I know for a fact that my ward knows about me.  A while back I emailed Salt Lake to confirm that I was still a member (I was) and I only included my name, date of birth, and baptism year and location.  My email address contained no clue about my current address, which was thousands of miles away from my baptism location, and my email didn't mention my current address.  The Church records department immediately shot back an email confirming my membership status and complete information about my local ward, including the bishop's name and telephone number. 

 

I do not know how they got this information.  Curiously, nobody from the ward has made even the slightest attempt to contact me, even though my email to Salt Lake made it clear that I wished to become active again.  Yes, I know, I'm the one responsible here, and I'm owning this and moving forward.

 

And in my experience, HT has always been a wispy, wobbly thing.  Immediately after I converted, a man in my ward called me and asked if he could come over to get to know me better.  I had no context for this and didn't understant HT, and the whole thing seemed very creepy to me.  Out of ignorance, I politely declined, and I never heard back from him or anyone else.  Later I learned he was in fact my assigned HT, and I felt very silly.  And this was a large, robust ward outside Washington DC that pulsed with life and energy.  If anyone could get it right, this ward could.

 

I'll be interested to read others' comments here... best wishes! 

Edited January 11, 2015 by PolarVortex

[Palerider]

As for Hometeaching ....been a member all of my life. Have in the area we are now for almost 29yrs. Have served as Bishop and Branch President in both units in this area and served and still serve on High Council twice during this time. It's been 20 plus years since we have seen a home teacher. Just because someone is active doesn't mean they don't have problems although there are a few that think this way. If it wasn't for the full time missionaries stopping by we would have no visits from church members in our area to our home.

[char713]

Sorry to hear that, Palerider. That is way too long of a time to go without a single visit. My Dad has been working overseas for 11 years, and can only come home once a year, which is usually Christmas time. December is the only month of the year that anyone from the ward ever comes to check on my mom - and mostly because they want to visit with my dad. They have been in that ward for almost 15 years, my mom has served in the RS and YW presidencies, and she is usually quite the "squeaky wheel." But she still isn't being attended to, even though she has been essentially a single mother to five children for most of that time. I suppose there must be other families in the ward who are in dire-er need, that's the only thing that can excuse the Bishop and others from not checking in more often and making sure that people like my mom have access to the support they need. 

 

PolarVortex, short of actually comandeering the list of HT/VT assignments and rearranging them to suit the needs of the ward as I see them, (which would be completely wrong, ridiculous, and inappropriate) I do think I have done everything that I can. Our Bishop knows that I am frustrated with never having been visited. My husband has brought it up with the EQP (he and my husband work together) but that guy is not good at all at following up. And the RS pres. and secretary know I would like to receive a VT route as soon as it may be possible.. in fact that's the only thing they have ever spoken to me about. 

 

I don't need these visits to care about the church. It is simply difficult to feel included when you know that virtually "everyone" else goes to visit one another, and others are checked up on and communicated with, and you are not. I know it's probably just my perception of things.

Edited January 11, 2015 by char713

[Palerider]

Don't know about visiting teaching but with home teaching it just doesn't get done like it should. There are many areas of the globe that have this issue. The church is perfect but the people are not.

[char713]

I was spoiled I guess by living overseas for most of my childhood and teen years. 

Because we didn't have our own families there with us, our wards and branches became like family. We looked out for each other because, well, what other alternative did we have, really? 

 

Living in UT has been a culture shock mainly because of how lackadaisical the members are, in forming relationships within their wards. We have lived in two wards ourselves, and my four siblings have each spent some time here and generally reported the same thing. I think the subconsious assumption is that we are here in the "bubble," with church HQ within short driving distance... so it's like "we don't need to take care of eachother, the church is taking care of everyone." I have never lived anywhere where most RS activities are actually Primary activities in disguise (only making things or teaching things for mothers and children.) Or where every year the biggest activity of the year - the christmas party - is a pancake breakfast which hardly anyone attends. These things have been consistently true of both of the wards we have lived in, here over the past five years. 

[Jane_Doe]

Growing up my mom would bribe our HT with cookies when they came to visit.  Wondering if I should adopt the same idea...

[estradling75]

Its been my experience that Home and Visiting Teaching are programs that are by an large failures in practice (most of the time)

 

So if you have Home and/or Visiting teachers that don't show up you are getting the "normal" Mormon Experience.  You can make a fuss and maybe it assigned ones that do actually do it.  But don't take the failure to have any show up as some kind of commentary on how the ward feels about you.   

[Palerider]

Its been my experience that Home and Visiting Teaching are programs that are by an large failures in practice (most of the time)

 

So if you have Home and/or Visiting teachers that don't show up you are getting the "normal" Mormon Experience.  You can make a fuss and maybe it assigned ones that do actually do it.  But don't take the failure to have any show up as some kind of commentary on how the ward feels about you.

Very true...I was happy when we got 60% has a Ward.

[The Folk Prophet]

I think it a bit unfair to say they are failures. That's like saying the missionary program is a failure based on the number of people who aren't interested, or the fact that a lot of missionaries are immature and not really great workers.

Edited January 11, 2015 by The Folk Prophet

[mdfxdb]

HT is not a massive failure. If you want a home teacher, you should tell your leaders.

The logistics of Home Teaching are staggering in a ward with less active members. Our ward has 330 households, currently only 25 elders and 25 high priests to visit all of those households.

It is / would be a monumental task to visit teach everyone available, assuming they even want to be visited. I know my bishopric and elders quorm pres spend a lot of time trying to allocate their limited resources.

Don't complain if you don't have home teachers. Ask for some.

Also, are you doing your home teaching?????

[char713]

Don't complain if you don't have home teachers. Ask for some.

Also, are you doing your home teaching?????

 

A. I am a woman, so no I do not have a home teaching assignment. 

 

B. I have said, now a few times, that I have asked my leaders repeatedly for any information about whomever is assigned to visit us. There is not much else that I can sensibly do. 

Edited January 12, 2015 by char713

[mdfxdb]

A. Do you do your visiting teaching?

B. Tell your leaders you want a home teacher. Don't inquire about the ones assigned to you. They obviously aren't doing their job.

[estradling75]

You can say it fails due to agency... you can say if fails due to logistical challenges, but either way by so doing you support the point I was making.  Failure of your HT or VT to visit is not an indicator what the church or its members think about a persons worth.  They are just as human as the OP.

 

Christ is the one whom suffered, bled and died for us.  Its his actions we should use to judge our true worth, value and importance..  Not the actions of some flaw humans. (Although the flawed humans stepping up would be awesome)

[NightSG]

Christ is the one whom suffered, bled and died for us.  Its his actions we should use to judge our true worth, value and importance..  Not the actions of some flaw humans. (Although the flawed humans stepping up would be awesome)

 

As I've said before, if more people would act like the Church is true, nobody would ever need a reminder.

[Palerider]

As I've said before, if more people would act like the Church is true, nobody would ever need a reminder.

Yes....but then you get into that agency thing and etc etc etc.

[char713]

A. Do you do your visiting teaching?

B. Tell your leaders you want a home teacher. Don't inquire about the ones assigned to you. They obviously aren't doing their job.

 

Sorry, but it is evident from these questions that you have not read my original post or later responses. I have not been assigned a VT route, therefore I cannot do Visiting Teaching. I want to, and have told this to every RS presidency I have ever been under. They have repeatedly ignored my requests. No offer or assignment has ever been made to me. Also, as I have now said at least a couple of times, I have asked our Bishop, EQP, and the actual home teachers themselves (on the rare occassion that I knew their identities) to do something, whether it is to re-assign the ones we have or just to hear from someone, anyone, outside of Shepherding Night.  Again, these requests have fallen on mostly deaf ears, no matter whom it was that we spoke with. 

[Vort]

I want to, and have told this to every RS presidency I have ever been under. They have repeatedly ignored my requests...Again, these requests have fallen on mostly deaf ears, no matter whom it was that we spoke with. 

 

Be careful in attributing such inaction to deafness or malice or lack of caring. Having been involved in leadership positions where we made such assignments, I can tell you that there is an awful lot of thought that goes into such assignments, and all sorts of variables that must be taken into account that most people have no idea about.

[mdfxdb]

 

As for Visiting Teaching, I have asked my Relief Society leaders to be included in the rotations whenever possible and I would happily visit my assigned sisters if I had them. I have only ever been included during the first year or so of our marriage, but then the leadership changed and I never heard from anyone about it again. ..Unless I pursued it myself, and even then, nothing. We have since lived in two different wards here in Utah and I have never been visited, much less called. 

 

Your leaders are very busy.  If you requested an assignment when you saw them at church, they may have remembered it or they may have not.  Every leader is different and every leader is responsive in different ways.  

 

If you really want a Visiting Teaching assignment then I can't believe they wouldn't have given you one, if you pursued it.  If you haven't actively pursued it, then I propose that you do so now.  Ask your RS president, get with the RS secretary/counselors and get an assignment.  Trust me they are looking for willing people to do the work.  Oh, you have to come to church in order to be considered reliable....

 

If you want a home teacher, and just mentioned it in passing to the EQ pres or Bishop then they may or may not have remembered.  Every leader is different and is responsive in different ways.  If you don't come to church on a regular basis, then they have no way of knowing your temperature.  

 

If you live in Utah then you likely have a huge ward.  It is easy to get lost in the mix unless you say/do something about it.  

[NightSG]

Be careful in attributing such inaction to deafness or malice or lack of caring. Having been involved in leadership positions where we made such assignments, I can tell you that there is an awful lot of thought that goes into such assignments, and all sorts of variables that must be taken into account that most people have no idea about.

 

Either not having a teacher assigned or not being assigned as a teacher I could chalk up to difficulty in matching up assignments or a perceived issue with the individual.  (i.e. something that either needs to be worked out before they can teach, or requires a careful choice of a teacher for them)  Both together, especially on an ongoing basis, sounds like there's a problem in the ward that really needs to be addressed.

[priesthoodpower]

As I've said before, if more people would act like the Church is true, nobody would ever need a reminder.

There are many many many reasons that cause HT visits not to occur...here are some reasons why I have not done my HT in two years.

1. I didnt like my companion and didnt even like to see him at church let alone call him to go out and HT

2. I have 3 grade school kids and a Wife and work two jobs where I barely see my family all week.

3. On top of my other volunteer responsibilities as a soccer parent of 3 ayso kids, HT takes the back seat.

4. you'd be surprised that a few of the familys that I was assigned to over the years dont really like us to invade their privacy so they avoid our calls or visits, or maybe they just dont like me.

5. personal issues in my own life/relationships dont really get me excited about preaching to others. I guess you can call it hypocrisy guilt

-------------------

[Windseeker]

Confession time.

 

I loathe this program. It's just extremely patronizing. It's like assigning friends, it's pathetic and I hate it for the same reasons I hate socialism. The spirit of service and fellowship is lost while those who do get around too it scramble and squeeze to get their numbers in the last month. 

 

Based on all these people whining over not having home teachers, I gladly relinquish the ward of any home teaching responsibilities and offer myself as a willing and eager sacrifice so that other families pining to be part of someones monthly quota can take my place. 

 

I was sick this last week and my best friend in our ward (our new Stake Patriarch) came over and gave me a blessing. His wife then brought by chicken soup. 

 

My problems with the program - 

 

1. We are commanded to visit and care for the poor, sick,naked (I refuse to visit naked people) and the widow . So if hear of someone in the ward being sick, I think, is that me or the home teachers. It should always be me..but I don't want to step on any toes...thanks for messing with my head...home teaching program. 

 

2. I surf occasionally with a buddy, then get called to be his home teacher. Now we don't hang out anymore because for me it brings all these lame questions to mind, do I count that as a visit or was that just a conversation, does he think I'm coming over just to make it count or am I going over to just make it count? 

 

3. Home Teachers coming...arghhhh!...the house is a mess. "Kids home teachers are here!"...is he ever going to get to the lesson...laughing at his jokes to be polite..   ...ok stop encouraging him kids...if I keep looking at my clock...will he get the hint? 

 

Anyway...feel free to call me to Repentance. 

[Vort]

Anyway...feel free to call me to Repentance. 

 

Repent!

 

I actually sympathize with much (or most) of what you wrote. But home teaching is the method through which Jesus Christ's anointed leaders have chosen to fulfill our divine mandate toward our fellow Saints. Whether or not it's ideal or even particularly good is beside the point. Ours is not to pick a nit; ours is but to do our bit.

[mrmarklin]

Reality is that HT is a relic of a bygone era that did not have the advantages of communications we have today. In addition, this program used to be called "block teaching", because the idea was that one could teach the people nearby on one's block. Of course, as the church expanded outside of Utah this terminology became silly, but the program remained, albeit renamed.

Remember, this all began before most people even had telephones, and obviously had a lot of uses.

Now, however it's an increasing burden on church members who increasingly live at some distance from the people they visit and as the majority of the wards in the church have increasing numbers of less active it is becoming impossible to reasonably ask people to do the old block teaching.

Priesthood holders IME have tuned out the harangues over the years, and in the latest iteration in my stake if you visit at least a few on your list in a quarter, you can congratulate yourself on doing a good job.

With the Internet this is now an obsolete model of what should be done.

[Windseeker]

Repent!

 

I actually sympathize with much (or most) of what you wrote. But home teaching is the method through which Jesus Christ's anointed leaders have chosen to fulfill our divine mandate toward our fellow Saints. Whether or not it's ideal or even particularly good is beside the point. Ours is not to pick a nit; ours is but to do our bit.

 

Amen!

 

Will Do. 

 

At the very least I should not allow any program, whether I agree with it or not, to dissuade me from reaching out to those in need, being a good friend, caring for our neighbors and fellow ward members.  Especially one that is trying to encourage me to do just that. 

 

I need to treat it as I do tithing and just say that Home Teaching is time set aside for the Lord, and then use my own time to do what the Savior has commanded.