Baptism in 13 days and family is freaking out


stringsofchange
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Hello everyone,

 

I investigated the church for almost a full year and now I am ready to be baptised.  I can't wait and I can't believe that it took me so long to find heavenly father and the church.  It has been a very long and strange journey and I have and still do encounter so many road blocks.  I sought out a forum because there is a new block in my path.

 

My family.

 

I was raised as an atheist, a liberal, progessive, and all of that.  My church was the church of identifying oppression and privilege and shaming people into compliance with the progressive agenda.  Though had you asked me two years ago I would have told you that I had no religion and did not believe in any God.  This is how my family operates, though I have been able to slowly get them to see things from my perspective, just a tiny bit.

 

I met with missionaries for a long time.  I read the Book of Mormon and I started to pray.  Then I stopped seeing the missionaries.  I stopped reading the scriptures.  But I still prayed as I found it brought me some mental stability and a calming of my emotions.  Then something happened that I am not prepared to speak about, that I wrote off as some kind of mental break down, possibly a psychotic break, clearly to be treated with medication from a psychiatrist.  Only I now believe that Heavenly Father just straight up told me that the church was true, that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and that I was headed down a path of internal destruction.  And I was.  And what happened brought me where I am today.  Baptism in 13 days.

 

My family is totally against this though.  They keep telling me that I believe in lies  That I am committed to a group of crazy people and that Joseph Smith is a fraud.  That I am going to go to hell if I continue upon this path.  What I hear in my heart and in my soul, though, is that the church is true, that God sends us prophets to teach us the path of salvation, and knowing this I can not not follow the path that God offers me.  I wish my family would follow it with me.  But at this point we disagree about almost everything.

 

I still respect my father and love him very much.  But I do not feel like he respects me and my choices back.  I am a man, fully grown, and fully capable of making my own decisions.  I just wish for my family to either support my choices or to, at the very least, not make a constant stream of negative comments about them.

 

Lately every time anything happens that can be remotely considered "bad" I hear about how it is all the Mormon's fault.  Leaves blew in the wind onto some cars driving on the street near my house and my father launched into a fifteen minute tirade about how he saw one of our neighbors raking leaves and some of those leaves went into the street and then the wind blew those leaves into some oncoming cars and possibly distracted them.  This proves that the Mormon faith and that believers in this faith are objectively bad people because those leaves could have caused a car crash and in that crash a baby that may have been in one of those cars could have died.

 

I am hearing this stuff constantly.  I don't know how to respond. I love my father and I respect him.  He is the closest thing I have to a personal hero.  But how can he blame the faith I believe in for leaves blowing in the wind and an imaginary potential car crash?

 

If anyone has any advice on how to handle a family who does not believe in Jesus Christ, our Heavenly Father, and much less the prophets of the Church, I would very much appreciate any advice.

 

Until then I will make sure to pray for my family that God will grant them strength to better their lives and the wisdom to find the path of salvation.

 

It is good to meet all of you,

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Have faith that your decisions will be met with positive responses once the blessings in your life are evident. If they are truly Atheist or agnostic, you likely will never here the end of your pursuit toward spirituality. Best is you never be "in their face" with what you have learned until such time as they begin to ask. At that time, you become the missionary. Until til, you can best demonstrate your growth by action.

 

I am the only member of my family. My family are devote Catholic and very concerned about my choice to join the Church. However, my parents went to the temple to wait in the lobby when my wife and I were sealed. They may not have liked my choice, by they did support it. In the long term, your family may come around.

 

Generally, people get blasted just before baptism and then a couple of weeks after. It is hard. The after baptism is even harder because it works to sow doubt when you are learning deeper principles. 

 

It sounds like you are really close to your family - I take it you still live at home even. Just be sensitive to their beliefs and don't push yours. Don't you let the decision be a wedge between you. Your family should continue to be paramount in your life.

 

Be happy. You are making a good decision. It may pain you that they are not joining you on that day, but you will have additional family now to support you.  

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Welcome to the site and to the Gospel!

 

Two things come to mind - 

 

First - I think your family is reacting this way partly because they might feel threatened.  They've known you a certain way and they're not sure how this decision and life path will change you.  They may also be concerned about if this will pull you away from them, etc.

 

Second - Maybe point out that one of the 4 missions of the Church is to help the poor and needy then show them articles (both lds and secular) of all that the Church does for people all over the world whether they're members or not.  

 

Hope this helps.  All the best!

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I understand what it’s like to have over-the-top-parents.  My mom once blamed me for ruining her planned vacation to Alaska because my walking the 15 minutes late caused a volcano to go off.  True story.

 

My guess is that your parents are acting this way because they’re worried.  If they’re 100% areligious and don’t believe in any afterlife, then they’re probably not worried about you going to hell.  They’re probably worried about how this decision will affect you in this life.  (This of course is me just taking shots in the dark).

 

If they are worried about how this will affect you in this life, I would assure them that A) joining the Mormon church will not result in you having a second head.  You’ll always be the loving son they raised.  B) Being closer to God could quite possibly make you a better person by encouraging honoring parents, honest living, hope and happiness, and things like that.

 

You described your parents as being areligious, but that doesn’t mean that they’re without morals.  Talk to them using these morals as a common ground.  Talk to them about how you believe in helping those in need.  Talk to them about how you believe in hope for this world.  Talk to them about how you feel about the right to choose and follow your heart.  Talk to them about how you love them.

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Greetings Stringsofchange,

 

I am a 5th generation Momon High Priest as well as a scientist and engineer working as a consultant engineer in the automation, robotics and artificial intelligence industry.  Much of my life I have dealt with atheists and agnostics that pretend to prefer logic and reason to faith and divine revelation.   However, from your posts concerning blowing leaves and the non religious concept of hell convinces me that your atheistic family is far from being able to deal with logic and reason as a means of resolving anything.  In short there is no rational or intelligent way to deal with irrational prejudice and bigotry. 

 

They are family; so I suggest you treat them kindly at every possible opportunity but I see no reason to engage them in serious conversation.   From time to time you may want to challenge them with a simple statement like "are you ready to take a honest look a Mormon theology, society or philosophy?   Since their political view is progressive liberalism I would suggest if you are to have possible intelligent conversation concerning Mormonism that you introduce them to the LDS concept of welfare, (including fast offering) and humanitarian service.  Rather than inviting them to church meetings - you may start instead by inviting them to the local Bishop's Storehouse or some other service oriented activity for some meaningful progressive liberal service of others.

Edited by Traveler
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I understand what it’s like to have over-the-top-parents.  My mom once blamed me for ruining her planned vacation to Alaska because my walking the 15 minutes late caused a volcano to go off.  True story.

 

St. Helens was YOUR fault?! Well, at least now I know who to blame.

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Just thinking out loud.

 

"Dad, you are my personal hero. I love and respect you, and look to you for an example. But when you say things like that because Mormons raked leaves, they might have killed a baby in a car -- well, Dad, that's crazy talk. That's pure bigotry and spite. I am a man, not a boy, and I have found a great deal of value in the LDS Church. If you don't, that's fine. I'm not looking to get you to join up with my cult. But I hope you have enough love and respect for me to honor my choices, even if you don't agree with them."

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Thanks everyone for your advice!

 

I am still learning so much about the church and everything that goes along with it.  Yes I do live at home but I am well over 18.  I had a long talk with my father yesterday and was very frank about my decision.  He tried to shame me so I wished him a good night and went to bed.  I've decided that the best thing for me is to not bring up religion and to just come and go to church and to other religious activities and let my actions do my speaking for me.  Next time someone in my family says something negative about my choices I will simply ignore it and engage them in other conversations.

 

My father is normally very logical as he is also a retired engineer.  I realize that he has extremely strong biases against the Mormon faith.  Though after our talk last night I do not think that he will be making any openly negative statements anymore.  He has not made any today.  But he has made several comments about the changes I have made in my life over the last few months.  I think that he is recognizing that it is my faith that has given me the strength to make these changes.

 

Thank you everyone for your advice!

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Best thing you can do is show your faith through your actions.  They will see a change in you as you grow in the gospel.  They will notice you being happier, more patient, more loving, more joyful.  It will be difficult for you as Satan tempts you and puts up roadblocks, but if you live it, and embrace it, they will see it in you. They may react negatively, as they see you improve, they may be jealous or accuse you of bettering them or showing off your "self rightiousness"  Just remind them that they are welcome to participate whenever they are ready.  You'd be surprised that in time, they just may.

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I understand what it’s like to have over-the-top-parents.  My mom once blamed me for ruining her planned vacation to Alaska because my walking the 15 minutes late caused a volcano to go off.  True story.

 

 

 

And Jane, I'm pretty annoyed about the floods we had in Brisbane, Australia in 2012! Try to be a little more punctual please.  :)

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A Christian, and therefore LDS teaching given by Christ in Matthew 7:20 states that “by their fruits ye shall know them.” I agree with the other posters who have suggested that you introduce to your family the many good works of the LDS church. You can read up on them here. http://ldscharities.org/pages/annual-report-2013?lang=eng I might even go so far as to suggest that the good works of the LDS church are more numerous, and more beneficial to more people than a whole range of good societal outcomes that organisations committed to a socially progressive agenda might have helped to bring about. When it comes to arguing about who has done the most good, I think that the LDS church would come out ahead of many other organisations or philosophies. As also indicated by some of the other posters, YOU are the fruit that they will see the most of, and will therefore have the most influence on their opinions. They will be watching you and what they see will shape their views.

 

And kudos and congratulations to you for having the faith and courage to so completely change your thinking and outlook. That really takes a lot of humility and faith. I respect you for that and for persisting in the face of such strong opposition. I pray that you can continue to do so. 

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Sounds like your father loves you and only wants what he thinks is best for you. As you are discovering, God and the things of God can only be understood by Spiritual experience. Describing how or why we believe because of these experiences is a bit like describing the flavor of salt to others. 

 

I hope your family attend your baptism, the Spirit will be fantastic and hopefully they will begin to understand a bit. Congratulations and welcome to the journey down the straight and narrow path that leadeth to Eternal life...

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Gifts are both a blessing and a burden. Artists easily draw well; those without that talent find stick figures difficult to fathom on paper. Sounds to me like you have been given the gift of faith. It's incomprehensible to the other members of your family. It was always difficult for me to believe my own sister was so different than me; I mean, weren't we brought up the same...you know? Each person has a gift. Some have many, but everyone has at least one. It will be a challenge for you, but if you humbly recognize this gift as a means to an end...a good end for more than just you, you will be strengthened and energized to use it wisely.

Blessings, blessings to you and yours, your sister, Debbie :-)

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