Tea Party as a Relief Society activity


pam

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What do you think of the Relief Society having a "tea party" using herbal teas?

 

I have mixed feelings on this.  I realize that there are many herbal teas that don't break the Word of Wisdom but for many people who live the "Spirit of the Law" this would be an activity that might alienate some.

 

Your thoughts?

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Rather than just herbals teas and an emphasis on teas you could provide a variety of drinks and the name merely becomes the descriptor of a Victorian era social activity. (well maybe not Just a Victorian era social party, but the name would be quiet quaint)

You could try cross cultural drinks as well, like saft (a scandinavian drink made by mixing fruit juice with water)

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Rather than just herbals teas and an emphasis on teas you could provide a variety of drinks and the name merely becomes the descriptor of a Victorian era social activity. (well maybe not Just a Victorian era social party, but the name would be quiet quaint)

You could try cross cultural drinks as well, like saft (a scandinavian drink made by mixing fruit juice with water)

 

I'm not planning this.  I happened to see a friend of mine post about it on facebook.  So I'm just wanting to know specifically what people think about having a "tea party" with teas at a RS event.

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Well, when I heard tea party two things popped into my mind, 1 the political party, 2 the Boston tea party. (Also Alice's Adventures in Wonder Land)

I personally wouldn't have a problem with it, but i'm not the most strict person either.

 

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Edited by Crypto
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Interestingly, my kids don't like it when I refer to the table infront of the sofa as a coffee table even if we've never had coffee on it. I didn't teach them that, but we've been teaching them to avoid coffee.

I think this might be in that same arena - even if everybody knows it's herbal tea and cakes, it just kinda makes people uncomfortable.

Not sure really what to think of it, I personally wouldn't be bothered by it.

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I think it's also perception. I don't think some of the members will be bothered by it. I am more concerned about the perception of it from those outside the church. We always told our kids while out with friends that sometimes you don't mean to do things etc....but perception of how others see things may cause issues. Not going into detail on what I mean in regards to them...it's just a perception thing.

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My wife just did a Tea Party with our granddaughter, her friend and friend's mother. They had a blast. It was held at a victorian home. They were dressed in their finest when they left the house but when they got there they went into a dress up room and tried on a dozen different hats, gloves, costume jewelry. The hostess held a lesson on proper manner and custom of when to wear the hat and when to wear the gloves, and how to use the napkin and how to wash one's hands with a cloth at the table. I was lucky enough to see this part because my wife forgot her camera and I ran it over and took some pictures. I missed the rest of the party, which I understand was fantastic. Lots of finger sandwiches and little cakes.

 

It was a valuable lesson on the customs of a golden era. The word "Tea" should not offensive to us. Anyone offended by such simply doesn't understand and frankly would be the one most needing the lesson.

Edited by sxfritz
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What do you think of the Relief Society having a "tea party" using herbal teas?

 

I have mixed feelings on this.  I realize that there are many herbal teas that don't break the Word of Wisdom but for many people who live the "Spirit of the Law" this would be an activity that might alienate some.

 

Your thoughts?

 

Growing up, my mom put an emphasis on "avoiding even the appearance" so I abstained from all teas and the like.  But then as an adult I started learning how healthy *herbal infusions* are and decided to loosen up a bit (though I don't patronize coffee spots if at all possible).  My friend calls them herbal drinks so her young kids don't get confused about the Word of Wisdom.

 

Anyway, as far as 'alienating some' - we do it all the time.  We have crafts even though not everyone is crafty, sports activities even though some aren't athletic, Mother's/Father's Day even though some aren't parents, etc.  

 

Seeing how much I enjoyed 'Tea Time' on the cruises I've been on, if our RS had this as an activity, I'd go and probably have a great time!

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The idea of a "tea party" as a general matter doesn't offend me or anything; but it frankly smacks of Babylon-envy.  Can the Young Women do a "wine tasting" with various grape juices?  Can the Young Men do a "kegger", as Pale asks?  Can the Elders' Quorum have a "bachelor party", so long as the "stripper" ends her show with a one-piece swimming suit firmly in place?

 

People will do what people will do, and I try not to judge too harshly.  But from the standpoint of planning an official, Church-sponsored activity; it strikes me that we should recognize that certain customs are so inextricably tied up with activities that are beyond the scope of our covenants that--at least on a community wide basis--we simply have no business trying to adapt those customs into our own Zion culture.

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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What do you think of the Relief Society having a "tea party" using herbal teas?

 

I have mixed feelings on this.  I realize that there are many herbal teas that don't break the Word of Wisdom but for many people who live the "Spirit of the Law" this would be an activity that might alienate some.

 

Your thoughts?

I would vote against it. We are warned to avoid the appearance of evil, and right now a majority of popular tea that is sold and is seen do violate the WoW.

Secondly herbal teas are supposed to be somewhat medicinal in nature. I don't think i would be entirely comfortable using that in an entertainment environment.

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I have never found a tea that I enjoyed the taste of, usually just use them when I have to. But tea parties are not really about the tea, are they? They're about pretty dishes and tiny desserts, dressing up a bit, and genteel conversation. That seems very "Relief Society" to me. 

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In many European countries, having tea is very much a customary part of the culture, and members of the Church do not give up all tea when they join, only the types of tea that actually have the tea leaf in it, as required by the modern interpretation of the WoW. On my mission in Russia, every time we went to anyone's house, it was basically a tea party, as we were always served herbal tea and some sort of snack. We missionaries also regularly drank it back at our apartments, as well, and were really quite partial to certain brands or flavors. It was a big thing. Missionaries not into herbal tea before their mission came home very into it.

 

Herbal tea is great and very good for you. There really shouldn't be a problem, imo.

 

I do wish that black or green tea wouldn't be part of the WoW, there are so many other things we do that are worse for you. Coffee too, for that matter. But whatever, I get it and I can go along with it. And I get that that point of view is where your concern is...you don't want the temptation to arise to start drinking actual tea. But I feel like that's sort of like saying, let's not drink Root Beer because then we'll want to drink caffienated drinks, and then if we drink caffienated drinks, we'll be tempted to drink coffee. People can make their own decisions, but meanwhile, I don't think we need to shun a good thing just because someone, on their own, might make an association and might find a personal temptation there. Temptations are everywhere, every day, and we all will deal with them. Tea parties with herbal tea are okay, in my opinion. The more one makes a big deal about the concern, the more of a conscious thing it becomes anyway. And that's what you'd actually want to avoid. So my feeling is just don't make a big deal about it. That, and I'm personally against over-sensitivity. If people like the idea and want to do it, go with it, have fun, and if anyone is offended, that's their own personal problem. At some point, zealotry stops having a net benefit.

 

The other question that needs to be asked is, not IF people will be offended/tempted, but SHOULD they be offended/tempted? And follow-up question: What kind of culture do we want to nourish within the Church? What kind of member do we want to build? One that only feels safe in a super-Mormon culture that shuns anything that is too similar to aspects of the world we don't participate in, or one that can be comfortable and (within reason) fit in with the world around them and be able to participate in it, still keeping the commandments, but also still feeling perfectly at home? Without making non-members uncomfortable because "oh, you're Mormon..." - because they can sense that.  I think this is a perfect case where the boundaries should be pushed and people exposed to what is, all in all, a wholesome cultural activity.

Edited by Magus
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I do wish that black or green tea wouldn't be part of the WoW, there are so many other things we do that are worse for you. Coffee too, for that matter.

I might agree on the tea argument, but not on coffee. Coffee is addictive and caustic. We're going to be facing a huge health crisis in the US when stomachs start to rot out. I for one will not bemoan the death of the coffee industry and the "loss" of tens of thousands of low wage jobs.

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There are cases, I'm sure, where coffee has negatively affected a person's stomach - but people have been drinking coffee a long time, and the vast majority of them don't have their stomachs rot out. And yeah, it's addictive, but so are a lot of other things not in the WoW. And yes, I agree about the spirit of the law in not becoming addicted to things. But strictly speaking, the WoW doesn't prohibit all things that are addictive. Anyway. I try not to whine about it too much because there's no point, and then I really will become tempted. And then I'll want to start drinking wine or smoking a pipe, as well. So no black/green tea, no coffee, none of that other stuff - oh well. Nothing I or anyone can do about it. I just try to remind myself that it's for my ultimate good that there's a barrier on certain things, because the flesh is weak, after all.

Edited by Magus
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Woohoo! This time the dance around words (being politically correct) isn't from my Left Wing self :P

 

I don't think it's a big deal, as a tea party or tea time, is just another term for sitting down in a social setting and eating. Whenever we're visiting family in England, the phrase is typically used in this sense, and they are active LDS. So it could just be a cultural thing. On the same thought, my daughter has played "tea party" with friends and cousins who come from active LDS households, and their parents have never made a fuss about it - in fact - their mums also use the wording.

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There are cases, I'm sure, where coffee has negatively affected a person's stomach - but people have been drinking coffee a long time, and the vast majority of them don't have their stomachs rot out.

I understand you are not looking for a debate here. My premise is that we haven't seen the impact yet. The difference today is that in past generations, MOST people had a "cup" (8oz) of coffee in the morning, usually two. That was it. Now, people have large size cups and drink them throughout the day. I recently sat at the table next to the Safeway Starbucks because I needed to use the wi-fi to update my iPhone. The stream of people at 2:00 in the afternoon was astounding. There is a difference today. We, as a society, will pay the price. That and the movement to accept marijuana. A heavy price to pay for the next generation or two, until we re-learn what was known back in the 1800's when JS had the revelation.

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I'd say some elements of our society has evolved around coffee. Back when, the morning cup or two might give you a boost. These days, you need a greater boost. Not necessarily because it all starts with more work, but because of the assumption "If you would just drink more coffee, you could do more!" People do more with more coffee, so the workload rises a little beyond the current coffee level. Drink more coffee to catch up. Rinse and repeat.

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I understand you are not looking for a debate here. My premise is that we haven't seen the impact yet. The difference today is that in past generations, MOST people had a "cup" (8oz) of coffee in the morning, usually two. That was it. Now, people have large size cups and drink them throughout the day. I recently sat at the table next to the Safeway Starbucks because I needed to use the wi-fi to update my iPhone. The stream of people at 2:00 in the afternoon was astounding. There is a difference today. We, as a society, will pay the price. That and the movement to accept marijuana. A heavy price to pay for the next generation or two, until we re-learn what was known back in the 1800's when JS had the revelation.

 

I concede you may be right. People who drink coffee these days probably do tend to drink more of it than in previous times, due to ease and accesibility, and there may be some consequence to that.

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