My Sister Is Dating A Black Man...


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Guest the_big_picture

My sister is in a serious relationship with a black man, am I a bad person cause I even care?

I dont mind and I dont realy accept it either, its my sister with a black man.

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I dont mind and I dont realy accept it either, its my sister with a black man.

That is inconsistent. Either you do mind and don't accept it and don't mind and accept it. Can't have it both ways. It seems to me that don't accept it and you do mind.

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There can be cultural issues unless they were both raised in the same city or state.

If they're both willing to meet each other half-way, more power to 'em.

When ethnicities mix, it's sometimes regrettable. Hawaiians marrying Japanese (one more laid back than the other, that caused problems for a couple I knew), etc...

The decision making process regarding whether to date someone should never consult include the color of their skin in and of itself. That's just stupid.

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First of all, is she happy? Is she safe? Is she loved like God would want her to be? The color of a persons skin is only as important as the color of his shirt. He is a man, period. If he treats her with love and respect then you should be happy for her. Be there to support her in her decision to be with him. God loves us all reguardless of the color of our skin.

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I totally agree with all that is said. The color of the skin doesn't matter. It would not bother me at all. As long as the man is a good man, displays respect, what does the color of the skin matter? I think sometimes the problem is the social aspect that is placed on interracial relationships. I also agree with CK. Sometimes it's not the color of the skin that causes problems it's the cultural background.

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You are not a bad person, but you do need to work on you in this regard. I am in an interracial marriage. She is hispanic and I am white. Any problems in our marriage have been issues all married couples struggle with. I have a strange take, though. The town I grew up in was a safe haven for interracial couples in the 70's. What was uncommon then was common where I lived and half the kids in school were mixed race. I had an advantage and insight other people did not.

I do not think you are a bad person, but you gotta get past it.

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My sister is in a serious relationship with a black man, am I a bad person cause I even care?

I dont mind and I dont realy accept it either, its my sister with a black man.

I remember you saying something earlier about being an ethnic Iranian, is that correct? Every Iranian I know makes a big deal about being Aryan (of course, for most of the population that means a lot of Turkish, Mongolian and even some Arab mixed in). However, it seems that your family may have major issues with that if this relationship continues. That has to be considered.

Personally, I believe it's kinda strange how Obama who is half white is always referred to as black -- in a way it's as though the children of white-black marriages are just assumed to lose the white ethnic identity they had (as if the heritage of the whites in their background get erased). That would bother me. I also read an article recently where a white woman who married an eastern Indian thought it would not be a problem but when her son was born she was bothered by him not looking anything like her. These are issues to consider as well.

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hispanic and I am white

Hispanic and White are not necessarily interracial. There are only three races. Hispanic falls into the Caucasian race, unless mixed. That's why you often see "Hispanic (non-white) on the census. Inter-ethnic might be a better label for that Tux.
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hispanic and I am white

Hispanic and White are not necessarily interracial. There are only three races. Hispanic falls into the Caucasian race, unless mixed. That's why you often see "Hispanic (non-white) on the census. Inter-ethnic might be a better label for that Tux.

Good point. Very true.

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Guest the_big_picture

Im not a racist, I just dont think tou should mess with Gods planning.

There is no such thing as an Iranian ethnicity, its a lot of diffrent people, all of them looking diffrent.

America had black and white people, that made 2 races, blacks and whites. Other nations didnt have those extreme opposites, so they where even more picky.

In nazi Germany you could be a diffrent race even if you would be considered "white" in America. If you had a round head you where one race, if you had a straight nose you where another e tc. This is pretty much how it is in other nations.

And yes Iranians are pretty extreme about ethnicity, but not as extreme as chinese or Indians.

Even Italians are racialy obsessed, Zlatan was written about in a newspaper, it said. "swedish outfits, slavic blood". Slavic is a term to describe eastern european ethnicities. This would just mean "white people" in America.

In other words I think we are in 2 diffrent pages here, mentally.

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Im not a racist, I just dont think tou should mess with Gods planning.

There is no such thing as an Iranian ethnicity, its a lot of diffrent people, all of them looking diffrent.

America had black and white people, that made 2 races, blacks and whites. Other nations didnt have those extreme opposites, so they where even more picky.

In nazi Germany you could be a diffrent race even if you would be considered "white" in America. If you had a round head you where one race, if you had a straight nose you where another e tc. This is pretty much how it is in other nations.

And yes Iranians are pretty extreme about ethnicity, but not as extreme as chinese or Indians.

Even Italians are racialy obsessed, Zlatan was written about in a newspaper, it said. "swedish outfits, slavic blood". Slavic is a term to describe eastern european ethnicities. This would just mean "white people" in America.

In other words I think we are in 2 diffrent pages here, mentally.

I personally never took it to mean you were a racist. I didn't see that at all. Though I am curious as to how you think this would be "messing with God's plan." Just wanting to understand.

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Im not a racist, I just dont think tou should mess with Gods planning.

How is this messing with God's planning? How do you know that God does not want her to date and/or marry him? We are all equally children of the same Father. He is no less entitled to marry her than is someone of her own race. If he treats her right, if he's a good person, and if they both feel they are supposed to be together then that's all that matters.

You may not consider yourself a "racist", but you are showing a form of racism here. Humble yourself.

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<div class='quotemain'>

Im not a racist, I just dont think tou should mess with Gods planning.

How is this messing with God's planning? How do you know that God does not want her to date and/or marry him? We are all equally children of the same Father. He is no less entitled to marry her than is someone of her own race. If he treats her right, if he's a good person, and if they both feel they are supposed to be together then that's all that matters.

You may not consider yourself a "racist", but you are showing a form of racism here. Humble yourself.

I totally disagree. Racism means placing yourself more important than other peoples due to your race or ethnicity. The_Bib_Picture never said that blacks were inferior to whites -- it just sems he is not into racial mixing. One could say that if everyone just started having offspring with different racial groups that in a few generations we would lose the diversity that seems so reveared in liberal "multi-cultural" settings.

The Bible certainly implies a racist overtone (as does the Book of Mormon) if we get so picky about what racism is.

The_Big_Picture, you did not mention your religion -- is it Muslim or Christian (I know there are tons of Iranians who practice Christianity secretly yet go to mosque in order to hide it from their relatives). I know there have been cases of honor killings in Sweden (one a few years ago involved a father killing his Kurdish daughter because she was dating a Swede). How does religion play into this?

Also, just to mix the pot really good, since this does involve Sweden (I assume his sister also lives there) how would people feel if she were dating a girl -- you know, starting soon you can get a Lutheran wedding (official and everything) in Sweden if you are two women or two men getting married to each other. This might actually relate since if this topic was being discussed 30 years ago the reaction would be far more heated. Wonder if in 30 years society might feel the same way about same-sex marriage?

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Guest the_big_picture

Well im a soon to be mormon, I just havent gone to the tempel yet. Yes islam is dead in Iran wich makes me happy.

And honour killing has nothing to do with religion. Greece has honourkillings to, so does Serbia. If a Serbian gets raped by an albanian they will kill the serbian girl cause she brought shame over the family, and serbs are europeans and christians.

It would be a sad thing if races would dissapear, of course the world would not have less conflict. Didnt american irish people and italian people fight eachother in the early 1900s? And when black people migrated to the citys it became "white" vs "black".

People always find ways to divide themselves, and no I dont think races should mix, God divided people for a reason.

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I know that it is easy to pick at TBP and suspect he is racist, I think that would be too simplistic, however:

I am married to a Japanese girl, I'm "white" (actually a pale pink, but that is besides the point...). I never considered that my marriage was "interracial" until someone pointed it out to me during a meeting, and then I realized that I was.

The problem with interracial marriages almost always has nothing to do with the two people involved. We have raised some wonderful daughters and have been happy. The problems we faced were along the lines of typical marriage problems rather than racial or cultural problems. The people that have had the hardest time with it were our parents (not against, but distance), relatives, etc. Sometimes others, thru their "well meaningness" show more tendencies towards seeing problems than what actually exist. People love people no matter their color or ethnicity, but there are some differences that need to be taken into account. You also need to be concerned about how kids will be treated growing up. Luckily, most people don't have a problem with Asian/Caucasian marriages, so my kids didn't face that, but I have lived in places where Black/White kids would be treated differently, by both groups (IMO, Barack Obamasamabalama is "black" because that is more politically advantageous than being white in the Chicago area...Just like Haly Barry (sp??) is a "black" actress even though her momma was white. Why??)

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hispanic and I am white

Hispanic and White are not necessarily interracial. There are only three races. Hispanic falls into the Caucasian race, unless mixed. That's why you often see "Hispanic (non-white) on the census. Inter-ethnic might be a better label for that Tux.

Still get the same looks from bigots regardless of the myopic technicality there, dude. If she wears hoops and a pony tail and I wear dockers and a polo...Mexicans and Whites of the archie bunker persuasion look funny and whisper. My seven year old gets garbage from people. One one side she is not latino enough and on the other she is not white enough. I will explain to them the census form and see if that clears it up for them, though...thanks. This solves over a dozen years of bigotry. :rolleyes:

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Before the islamic republic evereyone in Iran visited the mousqe, they here all moderate muslims. Today the mosques stand empty, evereyone consumes acohol. And nobody belives in Islam any more.

Wich is good cause islam was created by Satan.

Islam was not created by Satan. :rolleyes:

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Guest the_big_picture

<div class='quotemain'>

Before the islamic republic evereyone in Iran visited the mousqe, they here all moderate muslims. Today the mosques stand empty, evereyone consumes acohol. And nobody belives in Islam any more.

Wich is good cause islam was created by Satan.

Islam was not created by Satan. :rolleyes:

Youre a catholic arent you suppose to belive what youre pope tells you?

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I know that it is easy to pick at TBP and suspect he is racist, I think that would be too simplistic, however:

I am married to a Japanese girl, I'm "white" (actually a pale pink, but that is besides the point...). I never considered that my marriage was "interracial" until someone pointed it out to me during a meeting, and then I realized that I was.

In regard to this, I agree. I would not say TBP is a racist. I do think there comes a time where our prejudices get in the way of our rational though.

Our prejudices and presuppositions come from our culture, our environment, and many other factors.

It is in my opinion that the line between the prejudge and racism is a thin one. I hear jokes all the time based on someone's gender, skin color, faith, etc.

Words have power.

I have been seeing a trend of words, accusations, and titles strewn about in the world from people whom I like to consider friends.

I have some food for thought for them.

The food comes from Dr Maya Angelou. If you do not know who she is, read up on her, go to the library and read her works, and prepare to be changed by words.

Here is what she has to say about words...now she is speaking in regard to racism in these quotes, but they can be extrapolated to all words that carry weight.

"I will not sit in a group of black friends and hear racial pejoratives against whites. I will not hear "honky." I will not hear "Jap." I will not hear "kike." I will not hear "greaser." I will not hear "dago." I will not hear it. As soon as I hear it, I say, "Excuse me, I have to leave. Sorry." Or if it's in my home, I say, "You have to leave. I can't have that. That is poison, and I know it is poison, and you're smearing it on me. I will not have it." Now, it's not an easy thing. And one doesn't all of a sudden sort of blossom into somebody who's courageous enough to say that. But you do start little by little. And you sit in a room, and somebody says -- if you're all white, and somebody says, "Well, the niggers -- " You may not have the courage right then, but you say, "Whooh! My goodness! It's already eight o'clock. I have to go," and leave. Little by little, you develop courage. You sit in a room, and somebody says, "Well, you know what the Japs did then, and what they're doing now." Say, "Mm-hmm! I have to go. My goodness! It's already six o'clock." Leave. Continue to build the courage. Sooner or later, you'll be able to say out loud, "Just a minute. I defend that person. I will not have gay bashing, lesbian bashing. Not in my company. I will not do it.""

And

"When we talk about racism, we have to see that we are not just talking about acts against blacks, we are talking about vulgarities against any human being because of her -- his -- race. This is vulgar. That is what it is, whether it is anti-Asian, whether it is the use of racial prejudices about Jews, about Japanese, about Native Americans, about blacks, about Irish, it is stupid, because what it is really is it is poison. It poisons the spirit, the human spirit. I know there are blacks who say, "I can use the N-word because I mean it endearingly." I don't believe that. I believe it is vulgar and dangerous, given from any mouth to any ear. I know that if poison is in a vial which says P-O-I-S-O-N and has a skull and the cross bones, that it is poison. But if you pour the same thing into Bavarian crystal it is still poison. So I think racism is vulgar any way you cut it."

Unfortunately, even when we are not racist, I think much of what forms our presuppositions are based on the racism and poisonous words of others. Perhaps they do not have ill intent, but the end result is the same.

Get to know this suitor, find common bonds, and perhaps enjoy a new friendship.

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