Sign in to follow this  
carlimac

How to discuss the gospel with homosexuals...

Recommended Posts

I think you need to take it to a position of liberty rather than religion. See if they can understand that it's unfair to force people to change their beliefs, no matter how wrong you may think they are.  People should still be free to have freedom of speech, regardless of how offensive it may be to someone else.  And note that this freedom goes both ways.  I would remind them that a law that prohibits Mormons from speaking out against homosexuality also allows the reverse, and that one could make their "hate speech" memes illegal. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you need to take it to a position of liberty rather than religion. See if they can understand that it's unfair to force people to change their beliefs, no matter how wrong you may think they are.  People should still be free to have freedom of speech, regardless of how offensive it may be to someone else.  And note that this freedom goes both ways.  I would remind them that a law that prohibits Mormons from speaking out against homosexuality also allows the reverse, and that one could make their "hate speech" memes illegal. 

 

We've discussed it in those terms. He doesn't get it. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My last communication with this guy this afternoon was so sickening. I really felt the evil behind his words. I couldn't block him fast enough. I also deleted most of what I said to him. but I forgot to delete another conversation with him I had yesterday so that's still out there. Shoot!  Anyway, it made me so sick that I made my whole facebook page private and deleted lots of pictures of my family.  He doesn't live anywhere near me right now so I don't feel threatened. But I have this urge to be as far away and unaccessible to him as possible.  Really creepy. He is one sick dude. He did no favors for his community today. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Carlimac,

 

I'm too in the process of trying to share the Gospel with someone that doesn't want to hear it right now.  My husband (being the wise dude he is), reminded me of something this evening:  that trying to drill a seed through a heart of solid granite is just downright masochistic.

Edited by Jane_Doe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

My beloved more-like-a-brother cousin who is gay got really belligerent about the Church a few years ago. I ignored all his little memes and comments at first. Then he came at me personally. I simply unfriended him. After several months he apologized and asked to be added again. I did, and the same thing happened. Now he's off my friend list for good. When I see him in person there's as much love between us as ever, but adding to what Jane said, I don't have to accept his abuse to be a good disciple. I just love him when I can and avoid him where I need to. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We've discussed it in those terms. He doesn't get it. 

It's futile. People like that, they don't want an understanding. They don't listen to understand. They listen to attack, to find weakness, and to twist wordings to suite their needs and worldview.

If not block him, I'd at least make it so his posts don't show up on your feed (there's an option for that) by posting and arguing with him, facebook will think you like his content and show it on your feed more often.

Edited by jerome1232

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We've discussed it in those terms. He doesn't get it. 

 

Do he not get your argument? Or does he not agree with it? Understanding and agreement are often conflated by people (on both sides of many an argument). That is not to say that lack of understanding is never the case, just that it's an easy and common conflation; particularly if passion is involved.

Edited by Dravin

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My last communication with this guy this afternoon was so sickening. I really felt the evil behind his words. I couldn't block him fast enough. I also deleted most of what I said to him. but I forgot to delete another conversation with him I had yesterday so that's still out there. Shoot!  Anyway, it made me so sick that I made my whole facebook page private and deleted lots of pictures of my family.  He doesn't live anywhere near me right now so I don't feel threatened. But I have this urge to be as far away and unaccessible to him as possible.  Really creepy. He is one sick dude. He did no favors for his community today. 

So....why is this person a "friend"? He and others who would engage in insulting anyone? Most people wouldn't tolerate someone who insults their shoes or hair. Why tolerate someone who insults your faith? Are you afraid you would look intolerant of you deleted someone who is gay? You aren't. You are deleting a jerk. I don't even friend family if I think them to be idiots.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your attitude of superiority and holier than thou-ness reeks in your comment.  I am not surprised you got jumped on. Comments like this (yours) are why people have the ideas about our faith that they do.

 

You clearly don't approve which is fine but FB is not the forum for stating your disapproval.

Mosiah 18:9

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I see nothing wrong with correcting a false and mean-spirited meme, just to get out the proper information, but it's a dangerous place to reply further. Heck, once I corrected someone's misunderstanding of bottle rot and that led to WWIII.

So, I'm petty with my Facebook friends. I try to avoid arguments, but if you're posting mean things, you're gone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it seems that I'm hung up on this topic. Maybe I am. It's one of the most troubling topics related to the church for me and I'm still trying to get my head around all the different messages I'm hearing. 

 

So as I mentioned on a different thread, I've been in an intense discussion with some gay friends. One of them has been posting derogatory memes and posts about the LDS Church, especially right after General Conference. I find them not only offensive but incorrect and I found I couldn't let that just sit out there without attempting to correct the info and defend our viewpoint. I know that many many more than just me and the two or three of them are reading the discussion. I'm trying to be respectful but absolutely truthful in what I say. 

 

Sadly, more of their friends jump on the bandwagon to bash the church and me personally. In this latest discussion, no one came to support me. (Tragically, the friend that usually would help me out passed away from a sudden heart attack at age 51 ten days ago.) 

 

My question is, do we even try to push back on the false messages being put out there by the LGBT people? In bearing my testimony to them of eternal families, mom and dad families, personal agency and all that I almost feel like I'm casting pearls before swine. 

 

I feel like I should boldly bear testimony but the backlash is so ugly. Should I just not go there?

If you are being attacked...pull the plug, they have no right to abuse you or your faith. If they can't be civil, then do not allow them access to you. I say this with a lot of experience with this. Also never retaliate, be loving, but not tolerant to abuse.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The bottom-line issue is NOT whether it's okay with God to be/engage in the LBGT lifestyle.  It's whether there is a God we are accountable to.  My sense is that many who post hate towards religious traditionalists do not believe so.  My suggestion would be to engage them in the big question of whether there really is a God or not.  If there is, are we accountable to him or not?  If they refuse, then your OP question is answered.  :-)

Pretty much this says it for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) Homosexuality is a rather charged topic in general.. so I'm sorry that you have random people jutting into your conversation.. but in a public forum.. it is bound to happen.

2) It is tiring to have to constantly validate your existence to others and LGBT individuals are having to do this a lot, so take special care that you are especially careful with your choice of words and tone such that you communicate genuine interest in how they discuss those sorts of things with their children.
3) Many homosexuals want to create a happy family just like a lot of people do. And while it is not ideal to be a single parent, or single gender parents, they parent the best they can. Also, from their perspective, it is rather unfair to be told that they cannot or should not have children of their own just because they are not attracted to the opposite gender.

4) Please keep in mind that just because some people flame at you, doesn't mean everyone does. There are plenty of level headed gays... like myself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

3) Many homosexuals want to create a happy family just like a lot of people do. And while it is not ideal to be a single parent, or single gender parents, they parent the best they can. Also, from their perspective, it is rather unfair to be told that they cannot or should not have children of their own just because they are not attracted to the opposite gender.

See, the thing with this is - we believe that the human ideal is for a child to be raised by both a male and a female under the marital covenant. So going out of this ideal becomes an anomaly and is a step away from that strait and narrow path.

So yes, children of single parents or divorced parents or orphans, etc., are not ideal but nobody ever goes into these things saying... hey, I wanna be a single parent! Or, hey, I wanna die and leave my kid an orphan! Which is different from two gay guys raising children. Make sense?

So, in the manner of trying to teach - it's relatively easy to teach "Try to organize your life to minimize, if at all possible, the chance that you'll get pregnant in high school" than to figure out how to teach this same gospel principle to homosexuals.

By the way, I don't remember seeing your Introduction... are you new to the forum? If so, Welcome! It's great that you and Soulsearcher are here to provide your perspectives on this thing that I, myself, have a difficult time relating to (even when my husband's best friend is gay).

Edited by anatess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) Homosexuality is a rather charged topic in general.. so I'm sorry that you have random people jutting into your conversation.. but in a public forum.. it is bound to happen.

 

...says the random person jutting into the conversation. :)

 

2) It is tiring to have to constantly validate your existence to others and LGBT individuals are having to do this a lot,

 

Validate your existence? Or validate your homosexuality?

 

3) Many homosexuals want to create a happy family just like a lot of people do. 

 

I don't understand the point here. Does what people want really define what is right and wrong? Really?

 

Also, from their perspective, it is rather unfair to be told that they cannot or should not have children of their own just because they are not attracted to the opposite gender.

 

Ah, yes...perspective. The other definer of right and wrong, fair and unfair, justice and injustice...

 

...NOT.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

See, the thing with this is - we believe that the human ideal is for a child to be raised by both a male and a female under the marital covenant. So going out of this ideal becomes an anomaly and is a step away from that strait and narrow path.

So yes, children of single parents or divorced parents or orphans, etc., are not ideal but nobody ever goes into these things saying... hey, I wanna be a single parent! Or, hey, I wanna die and leave my kid an orphan! Which is different from two gay guys raising children. Make sense?

Um.. sure.. but I'd like to point out that for a vast majority of gays, their attraction is not a choice. Most people do not wake up one morning with thought "Hey, I really want to choose to be un-attracted to the opposite gender from now on". They no more choose to be attracted to men than most heterosexual women choose to be attracted to men. It is just the way things are, and they get to deal with it. But I do understand your point that, unlike widowed or divorced parents, they are going into things with the full knowledge that their children will not have a parent of each gender. But as I already pointed out, to them, it feels unfair to say they can never have children.

 

So, in the manner of trying to teach - it's relatively easy to teach "Try to organize your life to minimize, if at all possible, the chance that you'll get pregnant in high school" than to figure out how to teach this same gospel principle to homosexuals.

I'm really unsure what you are trying to say here. Perhaps you could reword it for me.

 

By the way, I don't remember seeing your Introduction... are you new to the forum? If so, Welcome! It's great that you and Soulsearcher are here to provide your perspectives on this thing that I, myself, have a difficult time relating to (even when my husband's best friend is gay).

Yes I am new. There isn't some sort of random forum rule I missed that says I am obligated to introduce myself is there? If people are interested in a "get to know you" thread then sure I'll make one, otherwise, I'll probably pass haha.

...says the random person jutting into the conversation. :)

Case in point :P

 

Validate your existence? Or validate your homosexuality?

As I just mentioned above, same gender attraction is not a choice, it is a state of being (not everyone agrees with me on this point, but that's okay). If person X is attracted to gender Y, then it is not illogical for person X to desire to pursue a relationship with said gender Y. Thus that course of action is logical, and therefore valid (validity: the quality of being logically or factually sound; soundness or cogency). But let me clarify that just because it is logical, does not make it moral, leading into my next point.

 

I don't understand the point here. Does what people want really define what is right and wrong? Really?

 

 

Ah, yes...perspective. The other definer of right and wrong, fair and unfair, justice and injustice...

 

...NOT.

Woah woah woah... let's not take my words out of context. The topic of this thread is "How to discuss the gospel with homosexuals...". I am not discussing the rightness or wrongness of homosexuality. I am discussing their perspective because a large part of having a civil conversation with someone, is understanding where they are coming from. So whether their actions are right or wrong is not my point at all. My point is, try to see through their eyes, so that you can figure out how to talk to them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Um.. sure.. but I'd like to point out that for a vast majority of gays, their attraction is not a choice. Most people do not wake up one morning with thought "Hey, I really want to choose to be un-attracted to the opposite gender from now on". They no more choose to be attracted to men than most heterosexual women choose to be attracted to men. It is just the way things are, and they get to deal with it. But I do understand your point that, unlike widowed or divorced parents, they are going into things with the full knowledge that their children will not have a parent of each gender. But as I already pointed out, to them, it feels unfair to say they can never have children.

Sure, you don't choose to be attracted to the same gender. But, it's a choice what you do about it. It's no different than somebody who got sterile or has sexual physiological dysfunctions and those who can't have sex with the opposite gender never having children. The gay one is even better off - at least they still have a chance if they decide to marry the opposite gender regardless of their homosexuality and end up having children of their own not just adoption. The sterile one only has adoption in their cards. I don't know how to express to a homosexual that homosexuality is not exempt from the law of chastity just because it's "unfair". Life is unfair. It is no secret.

 

I'm really unsure what you are trying to say here. Perhaps you could reword it for me.

 

The thread is about Teaching Gospel Principles to Homosexuals. It seems like teaching the principle of the Law of Chastity, Eternal Marriage, and Eternal Families to a high school student is a lot easier than teaching the same principles to a homosexual. For the hetero high school student, the teaching coincides with what they want. Whereas, for a homosexual, the teaching conflicts with what they want.

Edited by anatess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) Homosexuality is a rather charged topic in general.. so I'm sorry that you have random people jutting into your conversation.. but in a public forum.. it is bound to happen.

2) It is tiring to have to constantly validate your existence to others and LGBT individuals are having to do this a lot, so take special care that you are especially careful with your choice of words and tone such that you communicate genuine interest in how they discuss those sorts of things with their children.

3) Many homosexuals want to create a happy family just like a lot of people do. And while it is not ideal to be a single parent, or single gender parents, they parent the best they can. Also, from their perspective, it is rather unfair to be told that they cannot or should not have children of their own just because they are not attracted to the opposite gender.

4) Please keep in mind that just because some people flame at you, doesn't mean everyone does. There are plenty of level headed gays... like myself.

 

 

Just caught up on the conversation and responding to this...

 

With all due respect, it sounds like you're trying to justify carlimac as the bad guy when her initial movement was to correct some cruel LDS-mocking memes. I hope you're not saying gays have the right to do that just because they're gays.

 

To carlimac, you did nothing wrong by responding to those memes. But one, has to be careful on public forums, as david said here. It's right to defend the Church's stance, but you need to be careful about what can be taken as name-calling.

 

I find it wise to say one's piece and get out as soon as possible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sure, you don't choose to be attracted to the same gender. But, it's a choice what you do about it. It's no different than somebody who got sterile or has sexual physiological dysfunctions and those who can't have sex with the opposite gender never having children. The gay one is even better off - at least they still have a chance if they decide to marry the opposite gender regardless of their homosexuality and end up having children of their own not just adoption. The sterile one only has adoption in their cards. I don't understand why homosexuality is somehow exempt from the law of chastity because it's "unfair". Life is unfair. It is no secret.

Homosexuality is certainly not exempt from the law of chastity. I'm simply trying to help people see why it is such a pain point for same gender attracted folks.

 

The thread is about Teaching Gospel Principles to Homosexuals. It seems like teaching the principle of the Law of Chastity, Eternal Marriage, and Eternal Families to a high school student is a lot easier than teaching the same principles to a homosexual.

Okay I think I understand. But I think "Try to organize your life to minimize, if at all possible, the chance that you'll get pregnant in high school" is not really a baseline for the law of chastity anyway. Obviously when teaching children.. they are going to understand that concept better than the more ultimate goals of "respect for the procreative powers that God has blessed us with" and "because God says so". But you certainly should cover the topics masturbation and the sacredness of sexual relations in general when discussing things with a homosexual.

 

Also.. again to clarify, I'm not trying to justify the actions of active homosexuals, but I'm trying to help people see the world that a same gender attracted person lives in through their eyes.

So.. along those lines...

It is relatively easy to say "Well, homosexuals can just get married to the opposite gender and make it work". Let's keep in mind that a marriage is a 2 person venture. And the general term for this situation is a mixed orientation marriage.

For the sake of simplicity.. I'm going to talk about this in the first person. Lets suppose that I am attracted to men, and only men. Let us also suppose that I want a family, so I enter into a mixed orientation marriage. I now am married, and live with someone that I have no physical attraction to. Let us also suppose that we just so happen to be emotionally and spiritually compatible. So, in general.. things are good. Same gender attraction is my own issue, and it is terrible that my sexual desires are not being met, and in that way... life is hard, but I read my scriptures and say my prayers and God helps me through it.

Okay.. now.. from the lady's perspective. Suppose they are attracted to their husband in every way. But they will never be desired like they would like to. Their husband will never be attracted to them. As much as he loves her, he will never be able to really show her passion. She will likely tend feel unattractive, and that will constantly play on her psyche. But she trusts in God and says her prayers and read her scriptures and God helps her through it.

Now.. these types of marriages exist. Some of them even turn out great (Josh Weed is a great present day example). Some of them, are not so great. For example, there is an interview with a mixed orientation marriage couple. You can see that they love each other dearly. But you also see, that as they discuss these sorts of things, you can see the pain and the emotional scars they bear because of their situation.

There are real reasons that these sorts of situations really don't turn out. It is in a lot of ways a bit of an emotional nightmare. There are reasons that these sorts of marriages often fail. And not just because either person in the relationship isn't trying hard enough.

(DISCLAIMER: Statistics imply correlation and not causation. Just because something is statistically so, does not make it right or wrong. It just is, and usually for lots of reasons.)

 

Okay now.. lets talk about before that. The part before we are married. Lets think about how much work and effort it takes for a straight person to find their spouse. Now lets think about the potential wife. Why on earth... would she subject herself to that? How many single people woke up this morning thinking "I really wish I could marry someone that is not attracted to me today"? Even if they find someone in that situation that they love, why can they not just find someone else? Plenty of fish in the sea right? They can just go out and find someone that they both love them and are attracted to them and live their life "happily ever after".  So I guess what I'm saying is, it takes an incredibly special person to choose to go through that with someone. And I may never find her. In fact the prospect of me finding her is really, really, bleak. Really abysmal.

And why on earth would I want to subject that wonderful daughter of God to that? How fair is that to either me or her?

Any what about courting? Do you have any idea how hard it is to show that sort of interest in someone when there is none? It would be like asking a straight person to flirt with and court someone of their same gender. Just think about that for a moment. Let the unpleasantness of that thought sink in. 

 

For many people.. this "option" to enter into a mixed-orientation marriage.. is really a non-option. 

 

So let us now suppose.. that I am the kind of person that is absolutely certain that I could never make that work. My righteous hopes and dreams for creating my own family are now dashed to pieces. I must now consign myself to a life of passionless singledom. And unlike straight singles that try very hard to get married and never do, I am unable to even flirt with those that I am attracted to. I can hardly even flirt with the idea of being intimate with someone. Over time I know that my emotions will slowly grow more numb. I am tasked with purposely suppressing many my desires, with my only release being the afterlife, in which my homosexuality will presumably be taken from me.

 

Now... you said life being unfair is nothing new. And you are right. Life is hard, and we have God to help us through it. To guide us, and to comfort us in our times of need. Can God put that very special person into our path despite the statistical improbabilities? Yeah. Will he? Maybe. Is this drastically different from normal single-hood or marriage? With respect to the power of God? No of course not. But when you are talking to someone that does not have a deep abiding faith in God, I want you to realize the sad, sad, existence, and the baggage, and the unfairness that they see when you try to teach them about the law of chastity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With all due respect, it sounds like you're trying to justify carlimac as the bad guy when her initial movement was to correct some cruel LDS-mocking memes. I hope you're not saying gays have the right to do that just because they're gays.

I'm sorry if it came across like this. That was not my intention.

But to address that directly:

While it was probably not intended, the comment to the picture probably was interpreted something like:

"Those children have a sad, sad life, and its the fault of the parents". Which I'm sure anyone could be offended by.

 

Also, I'm not saying they are justified in their jabs at LDS things or retaliation in general. They are most certainly in the wrong for that.

 

And in case there is any confusion, I think carlimac is great and is trying to do the right thing.

Edited by davidstarfall

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For the hetero high school student, the teaching coincides with what they want. Whereas, for a homosexual, the teaching conflicts with what they want.

I read this again and understood even better. You hit the nail on the head here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Outsider perspective...but I would strongly discourage "mixed orientation marriages."  Davidstarfall correctly points out that such a union is unfair to the heterosexual, and probably guilt-inducing to the SSA partner.  While still a difficult path, I am convinced the Apostle Paul would urge celibacy--perhaps with a mindset that, knowing there will be extra time, the LORD can be served with that much more intensity.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Homosexuality is certainly not exempt from the law of chastity. I'm simply trying to help people see why it is such a pain point for same gender attracted folks.

 

Okay I think I understand. But I think "Try to organize your life to minimize, if at all possible, the chance that you'll get pregnant in high school" is not really a baseline for the law of chastity anyway. Obviously when teaching children.. they are going to understand that concept better than the more ultimate goals of "respect for the procreative powers that God has blessed us with" and "because God says so". But you certainly should cover the topics masturbation and the sacredness of sexual relations in general when discussing things with a homosexual.

 

Also.. again to clarify, I'm not trying to justify the actions of active homosexuals, but I'm trying to help people see the world that a same gender attracted person lives in through their eyes.

So.. along those lines...

It is relatively easy to say "Well, homosexuals can just get married to the opposite gender and make it work". Let's keep in mind that a marriage is a 2 person venture. And the general term for this situation is a mixed orientation marriage.

For the sake of simplicity.. I'm going to talk about this in the first person. Lets suppose that I am attracted to men, and only men. Let us also suppose that I want a family, so I enter into a mixed orientation marriage. I now am married, and live with someone that I have no physical attraction to. Let us also suppose that we just so happen to be emotionally and spiritually compatible. So, in general.. things are good. Same gender attraction is my own issue, and it is terrible that my sexual desires are not being met, and in that way... life is hard, but I read my scriptures and say my prayers and God helps me through it.

Okay.. now.. from the lady's perspective. Suppose they are attracted to their husband in every way. But they will never be desired like they would like to. Their husband will never be attracted to them. As much as he loves her, he will never be able to really show her passion. She will likely tend feel unattractive, and that will constantly play on her psyche. But she trusts in God and says her prayers and read her scriptures and God helps her through it.

Now.. these types of marriages exist. Some of them even turn out great (Josh Weed is a great present day example). Some of them, are not so great. For example, there is an interview with a mixed orientation marriage couple. You can see that they love each other dearly. But you also see, that as they discuss these sorts of things, you can see the pain and the emotional scars they bear because of their situation.

There are real reasons that these sorts of situations really don't turn out. It is in a lot of ways a bit of an emotional nightmare. There are reasons that these sorts of marriages often fail. And not just because either person in the relationship isn't trying hard enough.

(DISCLAIMER: Statistics imply correlation and not causation. Just because something is statistically so, does not make it right or wrong. It just is, and usually for lots of reasons.)

 

Okay now.. lets talk about before that. The part before we are married. Lets think about how much work and effort it takes for a straight person to find their spouse. Now lets think about the potential wife. Why on earth... would she subject herself to that? How many single people woke up this morning thinking "I really wish I could marry someone that is not attracted to me today"? Even if they find someone in that situation that they love, why can they not just find someone else? Plenty of fish in the sea right? They can just go out and find someone that they both love them and are attracted to them and live their life "happily ever after".  So I guess what I'm saying is, it takes an incredibly special person to choose to go through that with someone. And I may never find her. In fact the prospect of me finding her is really, really, bleak. Really abysmal.

And why on earth would I want to subject that wonderful daughter of God to that? How fair is that to either me or her?

Any what about courting? Do you have any idea how hard it is to show that sort of interest in someone when there is none? It would be like asking a straight person to flirt with and court someone of their same gender. Just think about that for a moment. Let the unpleasantness of that thought sink in. 

 

For many people.. this "option" to enter into a mixed-orientation marriage.. is really a non-option. 

 

So let us now suppose.. that I am the kind of person that is absolutely certain that I could never make that work. My righteous hopes and dreams for creating my own family are now dashed to pieces. I must now consign myself to a life of passionless singledom. And unlike straight singles that try very hard to get married and never do, I am unable to even flirt with those that I am attracted to. I can hardly even flirt with the idea of being intimate with someone. Over time I know that my emotions will slowly grow more numb. I am tasked with purposely suppressing many my desires, with my only release being the afterlife, in which my homosexuality will presumably be taken from me.

 

Now... you said life being unfair is nothing new. And you are right. Life is hard, and we have God to help us through it. To guide us, and to comfort us in our times of need. Can God put that very special person into our path despite the statistical improbabilities? Yeah. Will he? Maybe. Is this drastically different from normal single-hood or marriage? With respect to the power of God? No of course not. But when you are talking to someone that does not have a deep abiding faith in God, I want you to realize the sad, sad, existence, and the baggage, and the unfairness that they see when you try to teach them about the law of chastity.

I think this is more a "Western" problem because of the hypersexual culture. I'm Filipino. The Philippine culture marry for security and religiosity more than sexual compatibility. Basically, you can be as ugly as ripe gym socks and people would still line up and fight to marry you because you happen to live in a fortress of a mansion with its own chapel. Sex once every leap year is just fine. Separate rooms, no problem... adultery could get your reproductive parts chopped off...

But yes, sexual attraction can be a big factor in the decision-making, of course. But, it is not the end-all be-all of marriages. Filipinos think of sexual attraction is just one of the many expressions of love under the covenant not that love is dependent on sexual attraction. And it is not the sex that makes a marriage, it is the love.

So, not marrying someone because you feel his/her life would be lacking because you are not physically attracted to them doesn't compute. That's only a small part of what you have to offer in a marriage. Anybody can marry an ugly ripe gym sock person and have the possibility of developing that attraction as the inner ETERNAL qualities surface. I mean, blind people's spouses should not feel lacking, right?

But then Filipinos are mostly Catholic - about 85% of them, I think. And homosexuals in the Catholic faith tend to join the Catholic order of priests or nuns. And being a priest/nun is highly revered.

Edited by anatess

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this is more a "Western" problem because of the hypersexual culture. I'm Filipino. The Philippine culture marry for security and religiosity more than sexual compatibility. Basically, you can be as ugly as ripe gym socks and people would still line up and fight to marry you because you happen to live in a fortress of a mansion with its own chapel. Sex once every leap year is just fine. Separate rooms, no problem... adultery could get your reproductive parts chopped off...

But yes, sexual attraction can be a big factor in the decision-making, of course. But, it is not the end-all be-all of marriages. Filipinos think of sexual attraction is just one of the many expressions of love under the covenant not that love is dependent on sexual attraction. And it is not the sex that makes a marriage, it is the love.

So, not marrying someone because you feel his/her life would be lacking because you are not physically attracted to them doesn't compute. That's only a small part of what you have to offer in a marriage. Anybody can marry an ugly ripe gym sock person and have the possibility of developing that attraction as the inner ETERNAL qualities surface. I mean, blind people's spouses should not feel lacking, right?

But then Filipinos are mostly Catholic - about 85% of them, I think. And homosexuals in the Catholic faith tend to join the Catholic order of priests or nuns. And being a priest/nun is highly revered.

Ah yes.. I was going to mention this too but I got sidetracked by the monstrous size of my post.

Basically I want to agree with that sentiment. Church leaders have definitely said that attraction is an important part of finding a spouse, but that as you said, it is not the end all and be all of a relationship, but some people are very driven by their sexual desires, and for some people it may be a much bigger deal. I would also agree that there is a lot of culture at play.

 

I mean, blind people's spouses should not feel lacking, right?

So as long as I gouge my eyes out she'll be fine right? ;p (I kid, I kid).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

So as long as I gouge my eyes out she'll be fine right? ;p (I kid, I kid).

Or wear sunglasses at night. LOL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this