Why don't I feel the Spirit at all?


Revan
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I am an active LDS member. About a month ago, I revealed to my wife that I was struggling with an addiction and needed help. She was very supportive and has been working through it with me. I am meeting with my bishop, have starting seeing a counselor, and am attending the 12-step addiction recovery program.

 

I have been clean/sober for about a month now (ever since I revealed it to my wife).

 

While I was addicted I had trouble feeling the Spirit (for obvious reasons). In fact, I really never felt the Spirit at all. I expected that by now (a month of being clean, taking the right steps to get this out of my life forever) I would feel some sort of change. I understand that since I probably haven't fully repented, I am likely not entitled to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I just expected to feel the Spirit in some capacity, even if it was just occasional encouragement or even simply a confirmation that the steps I'm taking are correct and good. 

 

However, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't remember the last time I felt the Spirit. 

 

To be honest, it's kind of hurting my testimony. I have trouble feeling like God is there when I can't feel him at all. I feel like the Church has been the least helpful part of my recovery so far, and that I can't even honestly say that I feel like I've been receiving Heavenly Father's help. 

 

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel nothing? Has anyone else ever experienced this before?

 

Thank you for your help.

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There is nothing wrong with you per se. Obviously, I don’t know why you are not feeling anything, but it is completely normal. Probably everyone on this forum has had the experience of not being able to feel the Spirit. I know I have.

 

The older I get, the faster time seems to go. One month is very short. Please don’t give up.

 

“…that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once. If at first you stumble, do not give up. Overcoming discouragement is part of the test. Do not give up. And as I have counseled before, once you have confessed and forsaken your sins, do not look back.”  -Pres. Boyd K. Packer (link: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/04/the-saviors-selfless-and-sacred-sacrifice?lang=eng)

 

Some links from current General Conference:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/latter-day-saints-keep-on-trying?lang=eng

 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/04/stay-by-the-tree?lang=eng

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I am an active LDS member. About a month ago, I revealed to my wife that I was struggling with an addiction and needed help. She was very supportive and has been working through it with me. I am meeting with my bishop, have starting seeing a counselor, and am attending the 12-step addiction recovery program.

 

I have been clean/sober for about a month now (ever since I revealed it to my wife).

 

While I was addicted I had trouble feeling the Spirit (for obvious reasons). In fact, I really never felt the Spirit at all. I expected that by now (a month of being clean, taking the right steps to get this out of my life forever) I would feel some sort of change. I understand that since I probably haven't fully repented, I am likely not entitled to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I just expected to feel the Spirit in some capacity, even if it was just occasional encouragement or even simply a confirmation that the steps I'm taking are correct and good. 

 

However, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't remember the last time I felt the Spirit. 

 

To be honest, it's kind of hurting my testimony. I have trouble feeling like God is there when I can't feel him at all. I feel like the Church has been the least helpful part of my recovery so far, and that I can't even honestly say that I feel like I've been receiving Heavenly Father's help. 

 

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel nothing? Has anyone else ever experienced this before?

 

Thank you for your help.

 

Do you remember what the Spirit feels like?  

 

I don't mean that in any rude way, but oftentimes when we've been away from something for a long time, we often to remember what that thing feels like when we do encounter it.  For example, someone who's been depressed and self-destructive for a long time may not realize it when someone else is showing them love.

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There is nothing wrong with you per se. Obviously, I don’t know why you are not feeling anything, but it is completely normal. Probably everyone on this forum has had the experience of not being able to feel the Spirit. I know I have.

 

The older I get, the faster time seems to go. One month is very short. Please don’t give up.

 

“…that great morning of forgiveness may not come all at once. If at first you stumble, do not give up. Overcoming discouragement is part of the test. Do not give up. And as I have counseled before, once you have confessed and forsaken your sins, do not look back.”  -Pres. Boyd K. Packer (link: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/04/the-saviors-selfless-and-sacred-sacrifice?lang=eng)

 

Thank you. I'm certainly not saying that I'm frustrated and so I'm thinking of going back to my old ways.....my recovery is actually going very well. I finally feel like I'm on a path to freedom, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. My main concern was rather that I feel as though I'm having a crisis of faith...the feeling of, if God is really there, why isn't he with me now when I need him most? Although I suppose even the Savior felt alone in his time of greatest need. I guess I just think I should feel something if He's really there.

 

 

Do you remember what the Spirit feels like?  

 

I don't mean that in any rude way, but oftentimes when we've been away from something for a long time, we often to remember what that thing feels like when we do encounter it.  For example, someone who's been depressed and self-destructive for a long time may not realize it when someone else is showing them love.

 

Well, I feel I would probably recognize it if I felt it. However, I admit that it's entirely possible that I might not.

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Thank you. I'm certainly not saying that I'm frustrated and so I'm thinking of going back to my old ways.....my recovery is actually going very well. I finally feel like I'm on a path to freedom, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. My main concern was rather that I feel as though I'm having a crisis of faith...the feeling of, if God is really there, why isn't he with me now when I need him most? Although I suppose even the Savior felt alone in his time of greatest need. I guess I just think I should feel something if He's really there.

 

Have you considered that this feeling of "like I'm on a path to freedom" is from God? (rhetorical question)

 

It sounds to me like you are feeling something; that He is there and that you are right where you need to be. Keep up the good work. Things will only continue to get better.

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I remember a friend telling me once that when she was depressed (it was an extended time), she couldn't feel the Spirit. One thing she did was "remember that I have a testimony."  She said that although she didn't feel the Spirit, she reminded herself that she had felt the Spirit and that she has a testimony.  I was always struck by that.  And then I went through a time that I couldn't feel the Spirit. I reflected on her words and then would spend time remembering past spiritual experiences to remind myself that I indeed felt the Spirit.  I felt so alone during that time, but I treated it as my valley, my journey to Zion, etc.  

 

Perhaps, you should spend time in your journal or other ways to remember those times you had spiritual experiences.  Ask your wife to share her testimony with you and share times she felt the Spirit to just remind you of when you did feel the Spirit.  And just endure....make this your Gethsame....vow to not give up and keep doing the right thing.

 

Good luck.

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 I finally feel like I'm on a path to freedom, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. 

 

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 

 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

-Jesus

 

I think you may be feeling the Spirit more than you give yourself credit for.

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I think it more like a "footsteps in ths sand" kind of thing. Maybe ALL you feel is the Spirit?

 

I have to say, I can't really relate. I know there are times when I feel the Spirit strongly, kind of like a flashback to the moments I gained a testamony, but I don't have an expectation that that feeling should be delivered on demand.

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I am an active LDS member. About a month ago, I revealed to my wife that I was struggling with an addiction and needed help. She was very supportive and has been working through it with me. I am meeting with my bishop, have starting seeing a counselor, and am attending the 12-step addiction recovery program.

 

I have been clean/sober for about a month now (ever since I revealed it to my wife).

 

While I was addicted I had trouble feeling the Spirit (for obvious reasons). In fact, I really never felt the Spirit at all. I expected that by now (a month of being clean, taking the right steps to get this out of my life forever) I would feel some sort of change. I understand that since I probably haven't fully repented, I am likely not entitled to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I just expected to feel the Spirit in some capacity, even if it was just occasional encouragement or even simply a confirmation that the steps I'm taking are correct and good. 

 

However, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't remember the last time I felt the Spirit. 

 

To be honest, it's kind of hurting my testimony. I have trouble feeling like God is there when I can't feel him at all. I feel like the Church has been the least helpful part of my recovery so far, and that I can't even honestly say that I feel like I've been receiving Heavenly Father's help. 

 

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel nothing? Has anyone else ever experienced this before?

 

Thank you for your help.

It does and will take time...don't give up, the reward is too great. You'll be in my prayers and certainly in your wife's prayers. In fact in all who love you...don't give up.
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I am an active LDS member. About a month ago, I revealed to my wife that I was struggling with an addiction and needed help. She was very supportive and has been working through it with me. I am meeting with my bishop, have starting seeing a counselor, and am attending the 12-step addiction recovery program.

 

I have been clean/sober for about a month now (ever since I revealed it to my wife).

 

While I was addicted I had trouble feeling the Spirit (for obvious reasons). In fact, I really never felt the Spirit at all. I expected that by now (a month of being clean, taking the right steps to get this out of my life forever) I would feel some sort of change. I understand that since I probably haven't fully repented, I am likely not entitled to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I just expected to feel the Spirit in some capacity, even if it was just occasional encouragement or even simply a confirmation that the steps I'm taking are correct and good. 

 

However, I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't remember the last time I felt the Spirit. 

 

To be honest, it's kind of hurting my testimony. I have trouble feeling like God is there when I can't feel him at all. I feel like the Church has been the least helpful part of my recovery so far, and that I can't even honestly say that I feel like I've been receiving Heavenly Father's help. 

 

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel nothing? Has anyone else ever experienced this before?

 

Thank you for your help.

 

You said your wife has been there with you and supporting you. If she is encouraging you, please don't take that for granted. She is your angel and she is providing those encouraging words and support that you desire. When she is doing good to you it is as if God were doing good to you because God would do the same thing. Whatever good we have in us, God also possess that same good and so a part of us is in Him and a part of Him is in us. So, God very often uses others to bless our lives and to fulfill His promises.

 

On the other hand, don't give up on learning how to hear and obey the Spirit. I am learning to do this myself and some things that I have learned so far are that you must give yourself time to be quiet, to ponder, but more importantly, to meditate. What you need to know and the encouragement you need is inside of you. You have a spirit that is clean and pure and it has a direct link to God. We just needed to realize that and believe it. Take time each day to meditate and be patient. As I was taught and now know, it is not time wasted!

 

-Finrock

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Revan, without going into a lengthy discourse, I will simply say that there have been periods in my life (trials) where I have felt nothing but emptiness (feeling dead inside). There have also been times when I have felt the Spirit so strongly as if to consume me with fire and to make my bones quake. Your circumstances are not unique. We all go through painful periods. As you try to overcome your weaknesses, which cause you to sin, realize that you cannot do it alone. We are not meant to carry our burden alone. We were given weaknesses as a great iron ball on purpose by our Creator as a gift. You may fight against it for a long time. But your trial is not so much to fight against it day in and day out to carry it with you as it is to know that only Jesus Christ can lift it for you, if you plead with Him to do so. This is a period of humbling yourself and crying out to God and putting all your sins and desires and weaknesses and everything you are on the alter. Then He makes you into a new creature. When you experience that mighty change of heart, you will know it. Keep pushing forward and know that only Christ lifts our burdens. Only Christ baptizes with fire. 

 

 

 

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Edited by skalenfehl
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Revan

It takes time.  Give it time.  You are barely at your first baby step.

Also, look at those 12 steps.

Work with a sponsor thru' them.  Each one.  From one to twelve.  You cannot do it alone.  You must have a sponsor.

And you will find that both you and your sponsor will need help on the way thru'.  You will see it there when you get there.

A twelve step program is not a magic wand.  It is a long term process that requires a great deal of work on your part.

dc

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Speaking from a "been there, done that" position, I suffered from an addiction as well.  I also went through the twelve step program.  My experience was that the adversary knew I wanted to repent and in my struggles, and he was constantly after me.  The more effort I made, the more effort he made to tell me I will never be worthy.  I was constantly racked by guilt and sometimes I still feel a degree of guilt.  My sins are so many, I told myself; I don't see how God could ever forgive me.  This lack of faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ kept me from feeling the spirit. 

 

But I kept working at it.  One of counselors running the twelve step program took a special interest in me and we had one on one meetings apart from the regular twelve step meetings.  This helped me to open up more.  His love was the Holy Spirit manifesting Himself.  My father was also a big help.  We had daily devotionals together.  We sang a hymn, we prayed together, we read chapters from several of the scriptures and other good books like biographies of the prophets.  These devotionals would often take a couple of hours because we would also discuss what we read.  Then we had a closing prayer.  These devotionals helped me to learn that God did love me and that the Holy Ghost was there. 

 

More than this however, I came to understand that just quitting my addiction wasn't enough.  I had to do something good to take its place, so I got involved in doing family home indexing.  It is still not over for me.  I still feel some resentments which means that I'm lacking in charity.  I know I need to get over this in order to become one with Christ.  Forgiveness and confidence in being saved only come if one is one with Christ.  Oneness only comes if one has charity.  As a character from "Night Court" said: I'm feeling much better now".  The key to it all has been for me, to follow the recommendation in one of our hymns which is to "wake up and do something more than dream of your mansions above".  Addiction has to be replaced with something in the way of service to others.  Deliberate acts of love are the key to feeling the Spirit.  I'm feeling love right now as I write this.  I know the church is true and it only has the keys that will allow me to return to my Father in Heaven; but the keys only unlock the door, I have to actively walk through. 

 

Persevere my fiend.  What you desire, feeling the Holy Spirit, will come.  If something you did for someone else (even if that person is dead) makes you smile to yourself... That is the Holy Ghost telling you that you did good.

Edited by ether-ore
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  • 5 weeks later...

Hello Revan...................

 

It takes TIME for the damage/wounds to your spirit and body to heal.

Part of repentance is to 'wait upon the Lord' as He plans and carries

out what you need.  Perhaps even brain cells must be changed??

Just as in planting a garden............you don't see the little seedling for

a time but you KNOW you planted the good seeds.

 

I can guarantee you that the Spirit is there and that Father in Heaven is

aware of your mighty progress.  I say believe......let your faith point you

to believing the positive side of your challenges and repentance process,

the ups n' downs that will entail.

Why do I guarantee???  Because you are repenting and that brings the

Spirit and the Help from God.  

Another area I have found in my times of repenting is to seek a LOT of

humility.........ask for Help to humble self and to be more thankful/grateful.

If your challenges were major, the entire process of repentance and being

on closer terms with God is going to most likely be a long stretch.  A major

repentance in my life has taken years to unravel me from satan's grasp, 

and the pride connected with sinning.

Also..........what would satan want you to think???  Exactly........that you 

can't feel the Spirit so why keep trying?  I say.........when satan knocks on

your door, ask Jesus to please answer....and keep this up over and over

and over and over.

Also.............do indexing..........it's a great way to serve and get away from

satan.

Edited by jana7
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Either/Or

I am quite familiar with these 12 step programs.

You (OP) must have a sponsor.  Your counselor may have been your sponsor. 

A sponsor is a person who has successfully gone thru' the 12 step program and basically walks you thru' it.

There is a requirement that you confess your sins to God, and to one other person.  Your sponsor.  It's sort of like the Bishop, but in the program.

And then make restitution. 

But if it works long term, you can adapt the program as you see ft.  But be careful with that.

Most people do not make it. 

Long term is not measured in months or a few years, long term is for the rest of your worldly life.

dc

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Revan,

 

I want to help you. I wish I knew better what words to offer you or what answers to extend that would make the difference. What I do know is that I have been where you are and know of what you speak. Yet even if I were to tell you my answers, would you accept them that they would aid you?

 

What I can offer you is empathy and a sincere prayer on your behalf.

 

Sincerely

Martain

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  • 2 years later...

Revan, 

It has been a couple years since you posted. Have you felt the Spirit since your post? If so, what did you do that made the difference? 

I have a son that has had similar concerns for months. He is working to recover from addiction but feels like it doesn't matter how hard he tries he can't feel the Spirit. 

Typical Primary, Sunday School answers didn't apply to me in a similar situation. I have been in a Spiritual abyss due to depression and it didn't matter how many scriptures I read, hymns I sang,  prayers I said, conference talks I read, etc. I  still didn't feel anything but numb. Mine was cleared up through the help of an awesome psychologist and some inspired reading (by lds authors). 

There are things that need more patience and time put in than others. Sometimes like Enos we must pray for 24 or 48 hours. Sometimes fasting must be combined with prayer and sometimes it takes fasting and prayer from loved ones and ourselves as well as a multitude of patience.

I like the idea to replace bad habits with good ones that include service. I think service can help, for me and my depression it didn't help, I was serving for the wrong reasons. I thought through self sacrifice I could buy my own salvation and be my own savior. I couldn't let go and let God. I think learning to let go is a key ingredient. But, it's terriying to turn over control.

 

Edited by Mommaof6
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I wonder if when we don't feel the spirit for a while, it takes some time to retrain ourselves to feel his presence.  Maybe you just aren't in tune yet.  I also find that when I am helping others and not thinking of myself, I get that spirit more than when I am trying to just get it for self benefit.  Maybe do some volunteer work, and focus on helping others, and you can get your groove back.

Edited by bytebear
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