Lots of questions


Liz_anne4
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So, I've been a member for a little over a week now and I feel great about it all. I'm the happiest I've ever been! But, I do have a few things I could use some advice on. 

 

1) My family doesn't know I've converted yet. 

 

I grew up in a strictly Baptist home. In my high school years, I kinda drifted from the baptist church though because I had a lot of problems with it. Anyways, I'm 20 now, work full time to pay my own bills, the one little problem is that I still live at home with my family who is very much in the dark about all of this. I'm planning on moving out this summer. Probably within the next month or so. Once I'm out of their house I'll tell them I'm LDS but I don't know how. I don't want to cause a big fight or upset them but I know this is something that is going to affect my mom because she seriously believes Mormons are all poor lost confused souls who are part of the occult. I'm just worried that this will cause a lot of tension in our relationship and I don't want that so any advice as to how I should go about 'outing' myself as Mormon is very much appreciated!! 

 

2) I'm not sure when I should get my Patriarchal Blessing

 

I got my Temple Recommend yesterday and the president of my ward brought up my patriarchal blessing. I told him I wanted to hold off on it for now. I don't wanna rush into everything right at the beginning just because I'm super excited (because I am. Super excited.) I want to make sure I'm ready. But, I've also been looking into serving a mission and thought that maybe my Blessing will help clear things up to let me know if its something I should pursue. I know I have to wait a bit before I can be eligible to go on a mission, but I feel like I should start preparing now if I go. So, thoughts on getting my blessing?  

 

Any advice is very much appreciated, thanks in advance! :)

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Liz anne, congratulations! I am very excited for you.

 

Not sure what to tell you about your mom. That's a sensitive area. In the end, I think truth will always win out. But there is an appropriate time and method to tell her such things, and that's not really something I'm very practiced at. (Despite my jokey avatar, I am not a pretty young Icelandic woman. I am an overweight middle-aged American man.)

 

As for your patriarchal blessing, I am of the opinion that the sooner you get it, the better. It is not a magic talisman, but it is personal revelation that can give you insight into yourself and your own life, and perhaps direction to help you make some important decisions.

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For number 1:  We don't know your parents(mom) like you do... any detailed advice would be guess work..  In a more general sense realize that your actions and behaviors with them will be seen as "Mormon" once they know.  Every negative word or action you take will be seen by them as the "Mormon corruption" on you.  So please step up and be your best self.  After all that is really the best way to get them to accept your choice is by seeing the positive impact in has on you.

 

For question 2:   Typically the Order is Limited Use Recommend (for baptisms for the Dead), Patriarchal Blessing, Full Temple Endowment, then Mission.

 

Time wise there is some flexibility.   A Full Temple Endowment is at least a year after baptism, and a Mission only after the Temple Endowment.  Patriarchal Blessings are very flexible time wise.  You could wait months and still be in the typical pattern.

 

That being said your being prepared is the most important thing rather than following a pattern.  Your leaders can help guide you, his mentioning of it was probably to get you to start thinking about it and preparing yourself 

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Guest MormonGator

So, I've been a member for a little over a week now and I feel great about it all. I'm the happiest I've ever been! But, I do have a few things I could use some advice on. 

 

1) My family doesn't know I've converted yet. 

 

 

 

2) I'm not sure when I should get my Patriarchal Blessing

 

 

  1) I grew up in a strict Catholic home. My parents (in particular my mom) were strongly against it. My mother even gave me a copy of several anti-LDS books. They'll eventually get over it because you are still their child and most parents have unconditional love for their children. It could be awkward now and then, but they and you will get over it.

 

2) Get it as soon as possible. Mine was a wonderful experience. 

 

Welcome aboard.  

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  1) I grew up in a strict Catholic home. My parents (in particular my mom) were strongly against it. My mother even gave me a copy of several anti-LDS books. They'll eventually get over it because you are still their child and most parents have unconditional love for their children. It could be awkward now and then, but they and you will get over it.

 

2) Get it as soon as possible. Mine was a wonderful experience. 

 

Welcome aboard.  

 

I have a feeling my mom will also try to un-convert me with books. It's just who she is as a person. And thank you! I'm happy to be aboard! 

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So, I've been a member for a little over a week now and I feel great about it all. I'm the happiest I've ever been! But, I do have a few things I could use some advice on. 

 

1) My family doesn't know I've converted yet. 

 

2) I'm not sure when I should get my Patriarchal Blessing

 

Any advice is very much appreciated, thanks in advance! :)

 

You've been baptized and given the gift of the Holy Ghost, learn to follow positive impressions and the Holy Ghost will guide you. You also know about prayer, go to your Heavenly Father about the things weighing on your heart. Wait after you pray and ponder any impressions you receive. Write them down and ponder and pray about them throughout your day. Prayer is rarely a once and done thing but as you continue to ponder and pray the answer should become clear in your mind. Once you have your answer, do it (walk by faith). Personal revelation from your Heavenly Father is the best advice you can ever be given. Good luck! :) 

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I have a feeling my mom will also try to un-convert me with books. It's just who she is as a person. And thank you! I'm happy to be aboard! 

 You gotta be ready.I have friends who are like "Let me talk to Gator. I'll set him straight." (No my friends don't call me gator)

 

I'm different than most LDS because I seek out anti church material. I view it as a challenge to my intellect, not my testimony. Sort of like a "How can I answer this?" So far it's worked pretty well. Several people who thought they could "snap me out of this" have had books returned to them marked up with my red pen. 

Edited by MormonGator
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 You gotta be ready.I have friends who are like "Let me talk to Gator. I'll set him straight." (No my friends don't call me gator)

 

I'm different than most LDS because I seek out anti church material. I view it as a challenge to my intellect, not my testimony. Sort of like a "How can I answer this?" So far it's worked pretty well. Several people who thought they could "snap me out of this" have had books returned to them marked up with my red pen. 

That's a great idea! I think that's how I'll look at it if my mother gives me any books to read. Read 'em and send 'em back with notes and everything in them. 

 

You've been baptized and given the gift of the Holy Ghost, learn to follow positive impressions and the Holy Ghost will guide you. You also know about prayer, go to your Heavenly Father about the things weighing on your heart. Wait after you pray and ponder any impressions you receive. Write them down and ponder and pray about them throughout your day. Prayer is rarely a once and done thing but as you continue to ponder and pray the answer should become clear in your mind. Once you have your answer, do it (walk by faith). Personal revelation from your Heavenly Father is the best advice you can ever be given. Good luck! :)

I never thought about writing it down, but that's also a great idea! Thank you so much!

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That's a great idea! I think that's how I'll look at it if my mother gives me any books to read. Read 'em and send 'em back with notes and everything in them. 

 

I never thought about writing it down, but that's also a great idea! Thank you so much!

 

things spoke in the quiet of one's home tend to get drowned out by the work day...I've found a written reminder in my pocket helps ;)

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I have a feeling my mom will also try to un-convert me with books. It's just who she is as a person. And thank you! I'm happy to be aboard! 

 

Just a thought from the non-LDS parent on the board--maybe you could agree with your mother to read a book co-authored by an Evangelical professor (with Baptist-like leanings) and one from Brigham Young University (LDS)?  The book is:  How Wide the Divide:  A Mormon and an Evangelical in Conversation, by Blomberg and Robinson.  The book covers major doctrines (salvation, scripture and revelation, the nature of God, etc.) and is pretty straight forward.  The authors are learned, fair-minded, kind, but they do not brush differences under the rug.  It should give you and your mother a better understanding of each other, without either of you having to read stuff that's mean-spirited and harsh. 

 

Amazon has it used for .01 ($4 delivered):  http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0830819916/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1431999165&sr=8-1&keywords=how+wide+the+divide

Edited by prisonchaplain
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Just a thought from the non-LDS parent on the board--maybe you could agree with your mother to read a book co-authored by an Evangelical professor (with Baptist-like leanings) and one from Brigham Young University (LDS)?  The book is:  How Wide the Divide:  A Mormon and an Evangelical in Conversation, by Blomberg and Robinson.  The book covers major doctrines (salvation, scripture and revelation, the nature of God, etc.) and is pretty straight forward.  The authors are learned, fair-minded, kind, but they do not brush differences under the rug.  It should give you and your mother a better understanding of each other, without either of you having to read stuff that's mean-spirited and harsh. 

 

Amazon has it used for .01 ($4 delivered):  http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0830819916/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1_pap_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1431999165&sr=8-1&keywords=how+wide+the+divide

That is a great idea, thank you! I'll definitely read that on my own and then if it becomes an issue, pass it along to my mom. Also, I appreciate the different perspective so thanks a lot for commenting and sharing! 

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I'd go with PC's advice over Gator ' s at this point. You may not be ready for anti LDS books and a nice both - sides - of - the - fence book will be more unifying than material fighting.

 Ironically I agree with you. You need to have a strong testimony, a thick skin, and an ability to counter the anti LDS stuff out there. It's a dirty job but someones gotta to do it. We Gators like living in the swamps anyway  ;)

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I'd go with PC's advice over Gator ' s at this point. You may not be ready for anti LDS books and a nice both - sides - of - the - fence book will be more unifying than material fighting.

I think this is good advice.

 

When you are brand-new in the church, immersing yourself in anti LDS literature can be especially harmful.  You need to give your testimony time to grown and develop strong roots.

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I'm not much in agreement with many of the comments. I think slower is better. A new member will be overwhelmed the first six months. I would wait a year for the Blessing. You want to have a firm testimony in order for the Blessing to be meaningful. Like Leah said, you don't need to immerse yourself in study. It will be enough just to learn the organizaion and working in a calling and dealing with three hours of meetings....the list goes on.

 

Your family is #1 - above the Church. You should give them the utmost respect. That doesn't mean give up your membership, but it does mean to assure it does not hurt your family relationships. Be respectful of their opinions and let differences work out over time. For me, the changes in my life were so positive that there was no argument that joining the Church was the right thing for me to do. I would let things happen naturally and not feel forced to reveal your decision. It isn't something you will be able to hide.

 

You may be living in a Branch and not a Ward and therefore may have a Branch President and not a Bishop.

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And don't stop asking questions. It's one of the best ways to learn. I'm from the school of thought where you should question everything. In fact, that's partially the reason I became LDS!  

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Thank you everyone for all of the advice. I find it really helpful to have lots of different perspectives when facing a problem to find the best solution. The best solution might not always be my original own idea, so asking here was really helpful. I do have an update, however. 

 

My younger sister knows I joined the church. She's 17 and I'm 20 so we've always been really close and she noticed something was up with me. She did some digging, found my twitter (where I was stupidly very open about getting my recommend and other stuff that was going on that totally gave it away) and she confronted me about it last night. We talked it out and she was more upset over anything else that I hid it from her. For now, she's gonna keep it between us because it's not her place to tell our parents. She did say, however, that while she doesn't agree with it and can't 'support it' she's not gonna fight me on it. She said when I'm happy, she's happy. Then we cried and went back to watching TV. I'm super grateful for her at this point. Seeing how she kind of came to terms with it gives me hope that, after a while, my parents will accept it as well. Also I'll now have her to help smooth things over when that time comes. 

 

My best friend and I have found an apartment in town that's perfect for us. It wasn't even listed on any of the rental sites. My friend was originally looking at a one bedroom place but didn't like it. The realtor told her she had a two bedroom and it's perfect for us. Cheap, close to both of our jobs, in a good part of town. Seriously an answer to prayer. (We live in a very small town and there just wasn't a lot available rent-wise.) We're going to begin the paper work to move in with the next few weeks and I'm very thankful that Heavenly Father provided this place.

 

Thanks again for all of the advice! For now, I'm going to continue my Book of Mormon read through (made it to Alma!) keep praying and then as I live by the Gospel, my parents will eventually have to notice the positive change in my life. 

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So, I've been a member for a little over a week now and I feel great about it all. I'm the happiest I've ever been! But, I do have a few things I could use some advice on. 

 

1) My family doesn't know I've converted yet. 

 

I grew up in a strictly Baptist home. In my high school years, I kinda drifted from the baptist church though because I had a lot of problems with it...but I know this is something that is going to affect my mom because she seriously believes Mormons are all poor lost confused souls who are part of the occult. I'm just worried that this will cause a lot of tension in our relationship and I don't want that so any advice as to how I should go about 'outing' myself as Mormon is very much appreciated!! 

 

....Any advice is very much appreciated, thanks in advance! :)

Hi Liz,

 

I once shared a book with a young LDS woman, like you, but who had been raised in a Seventh Day Adventist family. She had noted that there had been years of friction and hurt between her and her family over her LDS conversion. The book I shared with her told about the roots of the Seventh Day Adventist faith, a Bible prophecy movement in the early 19th century, led originally by a Baptist preacher named William Miller, or as Joseph occasionally called him out of respect for his age, "Father Miller." William Miller's writings and preachings sparked a movement which taught that prophetic Bible timelines were going to be fulfilled in 1844. (By way of interest, there was a parallel movement in the Muslim faith half way around the world that taught something similar.) Joseph Smith even invited Millerite preachers to the pulpit in Nauvou. and allowed them to share their message.

 

When 1844 came and passed, and nothing happened that Miller's movement would acknowledge as the fulfillment of the Bible timelines in Daniel and Revelation, much of the 1844 movement disbanded in discouragement. A small remnant consolidated into other movements, like the Seventh Day Adventist church, which still insists to this day that the year 1844 marked the fulfillment of God's promises in the Bible. I, for one, generally believe them - and then some. I believe that Joseph and Hyrum's martyrdom marked the fulfillment of those timelines.

 

The young woman I shared the book with said that reading it healed a lot of hurt for her, when she saw that the chasm separating her and her family amounted to nothing more than, as Joseph Smith had summed up, William Miller lacking a better translation of the Bible. Or, as one leading Bible scholar presciently said prior to the end of the 1844 timeline: "Whoever attacks Mr. Miller on his point of time, attacks him on his strongest point. His time is right; but he is mistaken in the event to occur."

 

I don't know if that book ever helped that other young LDS woman's family, but she said it certainly helped heal her own hurt.

 

If that's of interest as a possible way to bridge an initial discussion with your Baptist family, you can click on my profile and go to the link at the bottom of that profile. Then, after clicking on that link, the first link on the left side of the webpage that comes up will bring you to a free online book that discusses the prophetic timelines in Daniel, that  compares and reconciles Millerite/Adventist teachings with an LDS perspective.

 

(The second link on the left side the above-mentioned webpage, if of additional interest, brings you to the free online memoirs of the Baptist lay preacher William Miller himself. I recommend that as a very edifying read, but it's much longer.)

 

My best wishes to you as you prayerfully ponder the best way to approach your family.

Edited by hagoth
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...

 

Any advice is very much appreciated, thanks in advance! :)

 

I suggest you demonstrate without words, how you are a different person because of what you've discovered.  Let them see how it has helped you to see things from your family's perspective, how much you love them, and how much you want to make their lives as joyful (by how you treat them) as the gospel you've discovered has made you feel.   :)

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