Teen LDS girl "gets saved" while visiting friends church- How will her family respond


Recommended Posts

This morning we had an LDS teen attend church (Baptist) with two of her friends who invited her to come.  After the service the teen came forward and told the pastor she wanted to be "born again."  I was wondering how her parents might respond.  Will she be accepted or in trouble?  Would it help or hurt for us reach out to her parents in love?  We will counsel her to obey her parents and if her parents do not want her to attend we will support- and enforce that. We know God will work in her heart even if she can't attend, but we really would like to see her grow in her new-found faith in Christ.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't really perceive this to be any more of a big deal than it would be if someone from your congregation went to the LDS church. It really depends on the family.

 

However, I suspect based upon your use of this LDS member as having a 'New found' faith in Christ that you don't have very much respect for her families religion. That might make it difficult if you want to speak to them.

 

Really, just think about what you would want if your daughter said she was going to start attending the LDS church instead of yours. Go at it from that perspective and you'll probably know what to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This morning we had an LDS teen attend church (Baptist) with two of her friends who invited her to come.  After the service the teen came forward and told the pastor she wanted to be "born again."  I was wondering how her parents might respond.  Will she be accepted or in trouble?  Would it help or hurt for us reach out to her parents in love?  We will counsel her to obey her parents and if her parents do not want her to attend we will support- and enforce that. We know God will work in her heart even if she can't attend, but we really would like to see her grow in her new-found faith in Christ.

 

The specifics of this situation be greatly determine how it's handled: i.e., the girl's personality/faith,  parents' personality/faith, friends'  the girl's personality/faith, friends' parents' local congregations, etc.  So none of us here can remotely tell you how things will go.    I doubt she'll get grounded, but her folks will probably be concerned (like they failed to teach her).

 

If you want, I'll tell you how I'd handle it (if I was mom)--

 

I grew up attending mostly my Mormon congregation, but visited all my friends for Sunday service & youth groups, etc (including several Baptists ones).  I never found this threatening of my Mormon faith, but rather deepened my faith in Christ and strengthened my relationships with friends (I understood/respected them so much better).  I think that visiting other churches is a great thing and my daughter has already visited many churches (in her diapers ;) ).

 

Now, if several years later my daughter went to a friend's church and came home with "new faith" I would--

1)  Ask her about it.  What has she discovered?  How does she feel about it?  How does she feel about the "old"?

2)  Explore this with her.

3)  Guide / walk-with-her to truth and righteousness.

 

My first guess is that this teen has faith, but she doesn't realize the form/strength of it.  Mormons do talk about being born again and Jesus, but we don't jump up on the podium and shout "have you been born again arms of Christ?!"  I am of course exaggerating here, but there is a culture/vocabulary difference.  If this was the case with my daughter, I would encourage her in discovering the faith she already has / is getting (trying of course to guide along the way).  Like here's a great General Conference talk on being born again https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/born-again?lang=eng

 

If, ultimately it came down to my daughter having zero faith, or having Baptist faith, I of course would take the latter in a heartbeat.  

 

*******

 

 

If the situation were reversed (Baptist teen at a Mormon church), the standard approach is to encourage the teen in their walk with God, while keeping the upmost respect for parents of course.  A couple of scenario's I've seen:

1)  Parents are all for it and allow teen to attend Mormon church and be baptized (no minor can be baptized or meet with missionaries without specific parental permission).

2)  Parents all teen to attend but not be baptized.

3)   Teen does a duel-citizinship type thing.

4)  Parents are not cool with it, and teen doesn't go to Mormon church, but still talks to Mormon friends about Christ and stuff.

5)  Parents are totally against it, and religion/faith is completely dropped.

 

 

**** 

 

In closing, I wish and pray for the best for the girl in question, and everyone involved.   :)

Edited by Jane_Doe
Link to comment
Share on other sites

However, I suspect based upon your use of this LDS member as having a 'New found' faith in Christ that you don't have very much respect for her families religion. That might make it difficult if you want to speak to them.

 

Really, just think about what you would want if your daughter said she was going to start attending the LDS church instead of yours. Go at it from that perspective and you'll probably know what to do.

 

Funkytown, Irish already answered this, but attending another church is one thing, going forwards, in response to a call to salvation, is quite another.  Apparently, the teen experienced something she believed akin to conversion.  It's sensitive because of the teen's age, and her being under the care of parents.  If you want to compare, it would be more like a Protestant teen attending an LDS ward, and deciding she wanted to be baptized there. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IrishColleen,

 

My guess is that her parents would react rather like a Baptist parent would if their children became LDS, Bahai or JW (for example). I'm guessing nominal LDS parents would react differently then more faithful LDS parents. Also given the historic aminosity between LDS and traditional Christians, there may be a part of teenage differentiation as part of the response.

 

There can be conflict caused by choices between traditional Christians groups yet alone for choices outside your own sphere.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’m trying to appreciate the spirit which motivated the original post – a desire to seek advice on a potentially tricky issue that if mishandled, could lead to pain and anguish for several people. That is certainly a commendable motivation. However, I also feel a little uncomfortable with being asked to provide input on an issue which could be used to facilitate the departure of one person away from what I know to be the one and only true church of Christ on this earth. If the desire is to see her grow in her faith in Christ then it’s probably best to leave her where she is. I sincerely believe that membership and active participation in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and living in conformity with its’ teachings is the best way to grow faith in Christ. Ideally, in Sunday School and Young Women’s she will regularly encounter experiences designed to help her grow her faith, designed and delivered by men and women called of God.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand only slightly the significance of the act of going forward and declaring wanting to be "saved" or "born-again". I don't believe it to be on a level of "joining" another faith but it certainly, on LDS terms, a departure from our faith and, to the LDS, a declaration of a separation from what she has been taught.

 

I am certain her action on Sunday wasn't a randon 'caught up on the Spirit' act. I'm sure her friends have had influence in her spiritual experiences for some time. As LDS, we believe there is truth in other faiths and the Spirit is not exclusive to us. There is every possibility that her experiences with her friends, and in your church, have had more influence than perhaps a less-than-ideal setting in her home ward. Something as simple as a bully in her home ward will completely distract from the Spirit during the extremely critical youth years.

 

I don't think there harm in allowing a degree of investigation in the "new found faith", short of being baptised. It is what we ask of other faiths when wanting friends to investigate us. I suspect her family will honor this but still have expectation of activity in LDS functions. They should do all they can to understand what she has learned and what she now believes.

 

I wish our church taught more about other faiths so that we could better understand other's belief sets. It would help us in our missionary work when needing to relate to those who are deeply rooted in their faith. I don't know if we do any of that at our mission training centers, but I think it a great value to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I approach this from the perspective that this is a teenage girl, not a baby, and I think you (speaking in general of those who are not the girl's parents) should stay out of it as much as appropriate. I understand religion is a bit more crucial and sensitive area than other things teens might get into, but still... parents don't need to get involved in everything. If the parents seek you (congregation in general) out, sure, respond, and of course be supportive for the girl, but let's not make this a parental vs congregation fight.

Edited by Backroads
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wish our church taught more about other faiths so that we could better understand other's belief sets. It would help us in our missionary work when needing to relate to those who are deeply rooted in their faith. I don't know if we do any of that at our mission training centers, but I think it a great value to do so.

 

Personally I'm glad we don't teach about other faiths. To be blunt, what makes us experts on "other" faiths? We are encouraged to seek truth and inspiration wherever it may be and so learning to understand other's beliefs is an individual prerogative. It's also an opportunity to step out of our comfort zones and to create relationships with those outside our religion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted · Hidden by Just_A_Guy, June 29, 2015 - Duplicate
Hidden by Just_A_Guy, June 29, 2015 - Duplicate

Pardon the cynicism, but when I read the OP I can't help but think of Langston Hughes' essay, Salvation.  Again--not to impugn the rites and practices of any other church--but who's to say that that isn't what happened here?

 

Maybe the girl's profession of conversion was genuine.  Maybe it was more a factor of peer pressure, like Hughes' was.  For better or for worse, it is the ultimate prerogative of the parents to make that determination, until the child turns eighteen.  Hopefully they'll exercise good wisdom and judgment. 

 

(And, yeah, I'd say the same thing if an Evangelical kid decided she wanted to be baptized as a Mormon.)

Link to comment

Pardon the cynicism, but when I read the OP I can't help but think of Langston Hughes' essay, Salvation.  Again--not to impugn the rites and practices of any other church--but who's to say that that isn't what happened here?  I'm sure IrishColleen would hotly deny the suggestion.  Then again, I'm sure Langston's pastor would have contested Langston's recollection of his own "conversion".

 

Ultimately, what matters is what's really going on inside this girl's head.  Maybe the girl's profession of conversion was genuine.  Maybe it was more a factor of peer pressure, like Hughes' was.  For better or for worse, it is the ultimate prerogative of the parents and the child, acting together to make that determination, until the child turns eighteen.  Hopefully they'll all exercise good wisdom and judgment. 

 

(And, yeah, I'd say the same thing if an Evangelical kid decided she wanted to be baptized as a Mormon.)

Edited by Just_A_Guy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The one thing we, as a church, do not want to do is to alienate her from her family. We firmly believe in the 10 commandments- including honor thy father and mother.  We do want to make sure she is growing.

 

I think you are out of line.

 

This is not your child.  She is a minor. 

 

Your statement "We do want to make sure she is growing".   Seriously?

 

Aside from the fact that the word "growing" is vague and highly subjective, it is none of your business.  Neither you nor anyone else in your church get to make any judgment on a minor child's "growth" that is not your child.   You can apply your definition of "growth" to yourself or anyone in your family, but you do not get to judge the "growth" of someone else's minor child nor do you have any right to "make sure she is growing".

 

We get it.  You think anyone who doesn't believe exactly as you do is "wrong".  But that does not mean that you get to interfere with how another family raises their child in the faith that they practice.  Even if that child visits your church and seems to express an interest.

 

You don't get to "make sure she is growing".  You don't get to sneak around behind her parents' back and express your desire directly to this child, either.

 

And as JAG pointed out, neither you nor anyone in your church is the judge of this child's status with God or whether or not she is "saved".  Surely you know who the true judge is.

 

And as JAG also pointed out, her interest may be genuine or it may be going along with a friend/the crowd, her interest might be different than how you choose to interpret, it may be a momentary fancy, it may be a momentary rebellion.  All normal teenage actions.

 

If you truly believe in the 10 commandments and that this minor child should honor her parents, then you will doing nothing to disrespect that.   You will leave the girl alone. You won't try to make her believe that she is not "saved" or is going to hell or any such nonsense.  You won't try to pressure her parents.  You won't try to paint them as bad parents standing in the way of their child being "saved".  It is up to her parents - not you - whether or not she gets to explore this new-found interest further at this point or not.  If they say no, you must respect that.

 

Yes, I would say all of the above no matter which religions were involved, on either side.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This morning we had an LDS teen attend church (Baptist) with two of her friends who invited her to come.  After the service the teen came forward and told the pastor she wanted to be "born again."  I was wondering how her parents might respond.  Will she be accepted or in trouble?  Would it help or hurt for us reach out to her parents in love?  We will counsel her to obey her parents and if her parents do not want her to attend we will support- and enforce that. We know God will work in her heart even if she can't attend, but we really would like to see her grow in her new-found faith in Christ.

 

As far as I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not baptize underage children without their parent's consent. My biggest concern in this situation would be the fact that the pastor baptized my underage child without my consent.

 

-Finrock

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We've been through this recently.

My kid has a friend who started coming to our Church. His parents drive him to Church but they are not interested in the Church. The missionaries called the parents and asked them permission to teach the kid. The YM president called the parents and asked them permission to include the kid in YM activities, etc. Everything they do they get permission from the parents. After over a year of this, the kid asked to be baptized. The missionaries asked the parents if they are okay with him getting baptized. The parents said No. So, no baptism happened. After a few months of the same thing - kid attending church, YM program, even attending Seminary, the kid has been begging his parents for baptism and the parents finally agreed. The bishop gave him the interview, we got him baptized with his family in attendance. The bishop was pretty clear in the baptism that the Church is secondary to the parents - and that we would not do anything that the parents do not approve of and that the parents can feel safe that the Church will never undermine that parental authority or put a wedge between him and his family.

We have 3 other kids that have started coming to Church with us. Missionaries have not taught them because the parents don't want them to. But, their parents drop them off at Church by 9AM every Sunday... so, they get the full 3 hours of the LDS Sunday experience. This has been going on for about 3 months now.

These 3 kids have started making friends at Church - other than my kid and his other friend that just got baptized. They just hang out like normal kids do in and out of the Church. It's a little funky because they would have a lesson on "your body is a temple" and talk about piercings and tattoos... well, uhm, one of the kids' moms have a full sleeve tattoo plus a dragon on her back and wears gauges in her ears and a few piercings on her face. And so she asked them - do you think my mom is evil? That was an interesting Sunday lesson...

By the way, have you noticed that the YW lessons are taught differently than other classes (not sure if this is just our YW) - the teacher doesn't really teach - she just asks questions and the kids discuss the answers. The teacher is just there to correct when the discussion is not compatible with the teachings of the prophets. So, it was interesting to see the kids try to explain that we discourage tattoos but her mom is not evil for having one. It was very enlightening how the kids handled it.

Edited by anatess
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with helping her build her faith when she is in attendance with your church. Heaven knows any of us LDS folk would do the same as far as we could were the matter reversed.

 

But I wouldn't push the parents beyond asking their permission for what have you activities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Folks, I think it's time we gave Irishcolleen the truth.

 

Irish, we've already contacted the parent's bishop, and he's picked up the entire family (as well as every LDS neighbor in a 2 block radius), and shipped them off to SLC for re-conditioning.  They'll be kept in cells in the secret dungeon underneath the temple, and forced to watch Johnny Lingo until they convince a panel of Strengthening the Members committee personnel that they're not open to outside Christianity.   Then, after they wrestle the giant frog into submission, they're free to leave.

 

The girl has temporarily given us the slip though.  Please return her to us, or else we'll have Mitt Romney get elected president and pass a law against Baptists.

Edited by NeuroTypical
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Folks, I think it's time we gave Irishcolleen the truth.

 

Irish, we've already contacted the parent's bishop, and he's picked up the entire family (as well as every LDS neighbor in a 2 block radius), and shipped them off to SLC for re-conditioning.  They'll be kept in cells in the secret dungeon underneath the temple, and forced to watch Johnny Lingo until they convince a panel of Strengthening the Members committee personnel that they're not open to outside Christianity.   Then, after they wrestle the giant frog into submission, they're free to leave.

 

The girl has temporarily given us the slip though.  Please return her to us, or else we'll have Mitt Romney get elected president and pass a law against Baptists.

You're mistaken, NT. They don't show Johnny Linggo anymore. It's Napoleon Dynamite now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You're mistaken, NT. They don't show Johnny Linggo anymore. It's Napoleon Dynamite now.

I thought they had moved past the Ludovico Technique into direct implantation of mind control hardware.

As for the OP, can you be a bit more specific? There are at least 50 different nationwide governing bodies under the "Baptist" title in the US alone, some congregations affiliated with foreign groups, and countless individual Baptist congregations not affiliated with any regional governing body. Thus, it could be anything from unclaimed/unwanted outliers like Westboro Baptist to SBC, CBA, NAFWB or nearly any other acronym you can get from a puddle of alphabet soup as long as there's a B in it somewhere. (And for extra confusion, several even share the same sets of initials.) Beliefs range from some of the Primitive Baptists who bring a keg to the church dances (Fun people, and some interesting conversations there, just can't see living with one.) to Southern Baptists who only drink and dance where nobody they know will see them. (Their potlucks were never very good.) Pretty much the only consistent threads among the denominations under the title of Baptist are baptism around age 12 and sola fide.

Now, that doesn't make any real difference in needing the parents' consent, but it does mean that in talking to them you might benefit greatly from clarifying what kind of Baptists you are; if they have had a bad experience with other Baptist congregations or individuals who identified themselves only as Baptists, there may be some animosity there that you would want to distance yourselves from. There could also be significant theological differences, such as sola fide that they find unacceptable or simply beliefs specific to other Baptist denominations that don't apply to you.

Edited by NightSG
Link to comment
Share on other sites

FWIW I vaguely remember a high school Bible camp in which an LDS young lady had come (it was a denominational week-long youth event, so apparently she had permission to be there) and gone to the altar for salvation (conversion). She was joyful, emotional, but clear in her understanding that she was accepting Jesus into her heart--something she apparently did not feel she had done to that point. On the one hand, she was underage. On the other, her family let her come to the camp. As IrishColleen said, I'm sure that the youth pastor of the church that brought her would want to see her grow--meaning develop a strong Christian life and practice. I'm also sure he communicated with deference and respect for the girl's parents. I'm not sure what anyone here would say, other than to hope that the church staff, and the girl's friends, will be as sensitive and respectful of the LDS parents as possible. The parents may even tell the girl she can't go to that church or be that child's friend anymore. While that would probably not be wise, given most older teen's feeling of autonomy, I could see many Evangelical parents panicking, if the situation were reversed, and taking that kind of action. The worst possible outcome is that the young convert become so discouraged over how the adults on both sides react, that she decides none of it is true. So, walk carefully, prayerfully, humbly, respectfully, and keep loving the young lady, regardless of how this plays out.

Edited by prisonchaplain
minor word changes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

This morning we had an LDS teen attend church (Baptist) with two of her friends who invited her to come.  After the service the teen came forward and told the pastor she wanted to be "born again."  I was wondering how her parents might respond.  Will she be accepted or in trouble?  Would it help or hurt for us reach out to her parents in love?  We will counsel her to obey her parents and if her parents do not want her to attend we will support- and enforce that. We know God will work in her heart even if she can't attend, but we really would like to see her grow in her new-found faith in Christ.

I'd say the odds are that they won't fly through the roof and do something drastic.. but that does occasionally happen. But I'd treat it the same way as I'd treat someone converting to LDS. (and if they are under the age of independance/accountability, then ya they'd have to be obedient to their parents... which could make for an opportunity to meet them).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you are out of line.

 

This is not your child.  She is a minor. 

 

Your statement "We do want to make sure she is growing".   Seriously?

 

Aside from the fact that the word "growing" is vague and highly subjective, it is none of your business.  Neither you nor anyone else in your church get to make any judgment on a minor child's "growth" that is not your child.   You can apply your definition of "growth" to yourself or anyone in your family, but you do not get to judge the "growth" of someone else's minor child nor do you have any right to "make sure she is growing".

 

We get it.  You think anyone who doesn't believe exactly as you do is "wrong".  But that does not mean that you get to interfere with how another family raises their child in the faith that they practice.  Even if that child visits your church and seems to express an interest.

 

You don't get to "make sure she is growing".  You don't get to sneak around behind her parents' back and express your desire directly to this child, either.

 

And as JAG pointed out, neither you nor anyone in your church is the judge of this child's status with God or whether or not she is "saved".  Surely you know who the true judge is.

 

And as JAG also pointed out, her interest may be genuine or it may be going along with a friend/the crowd, her interest might be different than how you choose to interpret, it may be a momentary fancy, it may be a momentary rebellion.  All normal teenage actions.

 

If you truly believe in the 10 commandments and that this minor child should honor her parents, then you will doing nothing to disrespect that.   You will leave the girl alone. You won't try to make her believe that she is not "saved" or is going to hell or any such nonsense.  You won't try to pressure her parents.  You won't try to paint them as bad parents standing in the way of their child being "saved".  It is up to her parents - not you - whether or not she gets to explore this new-found interest further at this point or not.  If they say no, you must respect that.

 

Yes, I would say all of the above no matter which religions were involved, on either side.

Your response seems rather hostile. The girl went to Colleens church, what do you think would be preached? LDS Doctrine? OP stated asked if they should reach out to the parents since the teen was showing interest, which is the perfect thing to do and one that the LDS church would suggest for minors. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Irishcolleen, I have thought a bit on this, and I think I have got my head around my own hypothetical reactions to such a scenario. Hopefully they can help inform your church's response to this girl.

 

1) In line with 3 John 1:4, I, as a parent, receive great joy knowing that my children share my faith. I also think the inverse is true, there is great sorrow to learn that my child has rejected my faith. I expect that one of my first reactions would be fear that this is the start of my child rejecting my faith. The depth of this would likely depend on the extent to which the child "rejects" my faith. Some will simply choose a different spiritual path, and others may choose to become openly hostile or even "anti-mormon". I expect the latter scenario would be much more painful, and be a greater part of the "fear" the situation would bring out.

 

2) I try not to be overly influenced by my "persecution complex", but a situation like this would likely bring out all of the animosity that I sense between LDS and Evangelicals. I realize that much of this fear and animosity is likely just "the imaginations of my heart" rooted as much or more in hearsay and extreme anecdotes rather than real truth, but it would likely bubble up and require great effort on my part to control and rationalize.

 

I guess my main piece of advice to you and your church might be to find ways to quell these fears in my as a parent. Some of this will depend on just how "anti-mormon" your church's historical rhetoric has been. I would suggest trying to emphasize the "commonalities" between your theology and LDS theology. I don't know exactly what that would look like, but, if you can try to understand that irrational fear of my daughter/son becoming "another one of those ex-mo's who convert to Evangelicalism then make it their lifes work to show how evil Mormonism is" and quell that, it would help me be more accepting of allowing your church to be a part of my daughter's spiritual walk.

 

Some of this next is more what I would like to talk to my daughter about, but it may suggest some other ideas for how you can interact with my child and me.

3) Why did my child feel a need to step forward and make a formal declaration of faith in Christ? As a firm believer in Christ myself, believing that LDS baptism represents a formal acceptance of Christ and our Sacramental/Communion service each week reaffirms that acceptance of Christ as Savior and Redeemer, have I failed to instill an accurate faith in Christ in my child? I realize that I will likely never fully accept the Evangelical concept of salvation by faith alone, but I still hope to be able to instill a solid faith in Christ's redemptive power. I would probably like to talk to my child about what he/she learned in that service that prompted this move.

 

Just some thoughts for you consideration. I'm sure it would be a complex internal process for me to understand my own response to such a situation, and it is almost all hypothetical in my mind, anyway. Hopefully it will give you some way to help understand how this Mormon might respond to such a scenario.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share