beefche Posted September 4, 2015 Report Share Posted September 4, 2015 Let me take a shot on this: Marriages fail because people are self-focused. When a husband views sexual images the wife goes, "He hurt me!" instead of "He's hurting himself!". So, the wife goes on full defense mode and becomes useless in helping the husband fight that problem... because, the husband becomes the enemy... so the husband is left to deal with it on his own - which, as he already showed he fails at it is not a promising prospect - while the wife goes and deals with it on her own - and goes to her friends to get her comfort. What should have happened is that the husband and wife works together to fight this problem and provide each other comfort along the way. For the most part, I agree with you on this, Anatess. Your views of marriage are unique, though, because of your Catholic upbringing as well as your own weakness. I can't remember which GA said that divorce should be done only after an extended time of abuse of spirit or virtue (or something like that). When one spouse has hurt the other spouse, repeatedly and without remorse, I just don't see how the hurt spouse can turn to the unrepentant spouse for comfort. It's one thing if the spouse is trying to change the behavior, he/she can then offer comfort. But, in the situation where the spouse refuses to change or even delights in the behavior, turning to that spouse for comfort seems illogical and destructive. As we study the words of the prophets, it is clear that selfishness is the basis for almost all marriage issues. I believe the real problem lies when one spouse doesn't recognize or refuses to acknowledge his/her part of the issue. That is when it is difficult to know what to do to preserve or enrich the marriage. Backroads 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 · Hidden by estradling75, September 5, 2015 - hide the responses Hidden by estradling75, September 5, 2015 - hide the responses Let me spell this out for you, because I know I'm not the only one who thinks so: you wear this weakness like some kind of badge. You talk about it with no remorse or shame. I bring it up in public only because you have on several occasions and because, yes, I find it a big enough issue that it discredits to me anything else you might have to say about a healthy marriage. Do mods get some sort of free pass to insult members? Vort...Anatess....you're certainly not shy about showing your contempt for other people. How does it feel to be so righteous and perfect and superior to others? You seem to be enjoying it a lot. I am sure I will get some "infraction point" or banning or whatever in response from you...but...damn...these kinds of personal attacks on people who disagree with you shouldn't happen on a LDS forum. But...again...I guess you mods give yourselves some kind of free pass that allows for any kind of conduct. Maybe that's why people become mods. I don't think Anatess "wears her weakness like a badge" but I guess you hold your opinion as the "right" one, especially as you appear to have taken the time to gossip about her with other members here. And silly me thought that members of the church were against that kind of behavior. Anatess has been honest and open about her struggles. But to you that means she feels "no remorse or shame". And you know this...how? You can read her mind? See her heart? Would you be happier if Anatess felt worthless and hopeless and not "good enough"? Would that make you feel better? Do you want to be counted amongst those church members who drive other members away because you never miss an opportunity to let them know they are somehow "less" than you? That they will never be perfect like you are? Should flawed people not be allowed to marry? Should Anatess' husband have been prevented from entering into marriage with her with his eyes wide open? I guess his ability to see not just a flawed person, but a daughter of our Heavenly Father is some terrible trait we don't want to see in any of the brethren. I may not always agree with Anatess, but the longer I "know" her, the more I think she and her husband have a better handle on marriage than a lot of people. So...yeah...go ahead and give me infractions or "warning points" or ban me or whatever such nonsense you perfect, unflawed, living in a perfect marriage moderator wants to inflict with your super moderator powers. I mean, I'm just a lowly member so I don't get the free pass you do to insult and belittle people. Link to comment
Guest Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 · Hidden by estradling75, September 5, 2015 - hide the responses Hidden by estradling75, September 5, 2015 - hide the responses That's rich. Link to comment
estradling75 Posted September 5, 2015 Report Share Posted September 5, 2015 Thread closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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