How to Raise Boys That Read

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Though I hesitate to suggest that there is a "one-size-fits-all" answer to this question...I do think this article is well-thought out and can help many.

 

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704271804575405511702112290

[pam]

Luckily I am blessed to have two sons that love to read.  My brother...heck no.

 

I don't know if it is because I read to them constantly when they were little.

 

But one thing NOT to do.  I was working at Hobby Lobby some time back.  A mother was in my department with two young boys who let's just say...were total brats.  No other way around describing them.

 

The mother finally threatened them with taking away their trip to the museum and going home to read instead if they didn't behave.  I was shocked.  Here she was teaching her boys that reading was a punishment.

[Jamie123]

Luckily I am blessed to have two sons that love to read.  My brother...heck no.

 

I don't know if it is because I read to them constantly when they were little.

 

But one thing NOT to do.  I was working at Hobby Lobby some time back.  A mother was in my department with two young boys who let's just say...were total brats.  No other way around describing them.

 

The mother finally threatened them with taking away their trip to the museum and going home to read instead if they didn't behave.  I was shocked.  Here she was teaching her boys that reading was a punishment.

 

LOL - I suppose it depends what they were forced to read. You could always take away their "Captain Underpants" and make the read "Origins of Federal Income Tax: 1861-1930".

 

Seriously though, my daughter does love to read - and I think that may be partly because I read to her every night when she was little - and occasionally I still do. We've done The Hobbit, the Wizard of Oz, all the Narnia books, most of Roald Dahl, Little House on the Prairie, Tom's Midnight Garden, all the Beatrix Potter books, The Wind in the Willows, Alice in Wonderland, The Railway Children.... We also love the "Just William" stores by Richmal Crompton - though dating from the 1930s they are certainly very politically incorrect! (I'm sure some of those stories would not even be allowed to be published these days!)

 

Then again, my daughter is not a boy so this is all a bit off-topic.

Edited August 10, 2015 by Jamie123

[char713]

I am reading an excellent book on the subject, "The Read-Aloud Handbook." To me the answer is to read to your child, boy or girl, every day that it is possible to do so from the time they are born. Make it a nurturing activity every time, a reward or even just a positive option of something to do, never ever a punishment. Also model silent reading yourself, and tell the child when you are reading, especially when you're using an electronic device so it could be mistaken for browsing the internet. And always start conversations with children (girls especially) by asking them what their favorite book is, rather than a comment about their appearance. 

[Guest]

I have the opposite problem.  I have 2 boys that accomplishes zero of the task list because they spent the whole day reading.  I have to threaten to ban them from reading to get chores done... which sounds really bad even to my ears... and my kids know it, so if there's a task they don't want to do, they pick up a book.

 

I didn't really make a point of reading to them when they were little.  But their rooms have a whole wall of built-in bookshelves with all kinds of books that I collected through the years and a lot from family gifts, etc.  I read to them when they were little to teach them to read - so Dr. Seuss was what I read.  The Foot Book.  Haha.  There was also this Diego (Dora's cousin) bookset where each book was focused on a certain vowel sound that I used to teach them to read.  Their bookshelves are mostly encyclopedia type books - like the ones some foreign student kid sells door to door in the summers - and dinosaurs and reptiles and dogs and that kind of thing.  So when they were little, they'd climb the bookshelf to grab a book to look at all the pictures.  They would go through all the books over and over.  When they got older, they'd still climb the bookshelf to grab a book but they started reading the text to go with the pictures.

 

But, I'm a reader.  I read a lot.  And I'm a cheapskate so I go to the library a lot and our library has this really cool kids section, so I would go grab a book and sit in the kid's section and read it.  And then my kids would grab a book that their reading teacher reads in school (Magic Tree House) and I'd become interested in it, so I would read it too and we end up fighting over the "next book in the series".  My older kid started reading Magic Tree House when he was in 2nd grade because his teacher read it to them in school.  His younger brother was in Kindergarten and he started reading Magic Tree House at that early age because his brother and I were always negotiating over who gets the next book in the library so he wanted to know what we're talking about.  We jumped to Animorphs because it has interesting covers, and then Bailey's School Kids because my kids were into the monster stage, and then Jedi Apprentice and all the other Jedi series.  Interestingly, my older kid can read very very very fast.  I don't know how he does it, but I actually timed it - and we would read a page at the same time (I'm a fast reader, or so I thought) and he'd flip the page when I'm still halfway down it.  He says he reads a book fast so he can get to the next book before me!  So, I would test him and ask him questions about the page and he'd answer it all... so it's not that he's skimming - he's reading.  Dunno how he does it.  He's 14 now and he's reading all my favorite series.  And he has introduced me to a lot of interesting series too.  He was completely captivated by Lord of the Rings even after I confessed to him that I had a very hard time getting through the first book!

 

And just to address this - my boys have free reign to the video games and computer in the summer, but they still spend a lot of time reading books.  It captures their imagination as much as video games do... with the bonus of me not interrupting them to do chores when they're reading.

Edited August 10, 2015 by anatess

[Connie]

In a sense I have had to “meet them where they are.” I have had to find books that would hold their interest. I worried for a long time about my oldest boy and how uninterested he seemed to be with reading. This was in large part because I was comparing him to his older sister who is an avid reader. I had to stop doing that—step back a bit and give him space to find it on his own. He reads slower, and I think that has frustrated him a bit. But he has become a really good reader in his own way.

 

I’ve worked really hard to find good books that would hold his interest. We have read some books with “gross out” type stuff but on a minimal level—that is never the purpose or focus of the book. We have never read books where gross out is the main purpose. It seems those were the type of book this particular article was speaking of and since we have never read any of them I really couldn’t say whether that is accurate or not. And if that is the case I would agree that that is taking it a bit too far. But the idea of “meet them where they are” as I have used it is to meet them where they are and then take them higher and farther at their own pace.

 

I also agree with the idea that you have to have books in the home—good books available for kids to read. And you have to read to them when they are little. They have to see you reading and you have to talk about what you’re reading. “Wow, I read this cool book. Let me tell you a bit about it.” Or, “You really have to read this book! It is awesome and I know you would love it.” Sometimes, even now, my son will hit a snag in a book. “It’s just soooo boooring.” And I will have to encourage him to continue. “Come on, try another chapter and see if it gets any better.” More often than not he ends up finishing the book and loving it.

 

I enjoyed the articles commentary on education.

[Guest MormonGator]

My mom and dad read to me as a child all the time, and the habit just sort of stuck with me. 

[Palerider]

My mom and dad read to me as a child all the time, and the habit just sort of stuck with me.

This is a principle my wife and I believe in as well.

[Guest]

My mom and dad read to me as a child all the time, and the habit just sort of stuck with me. 

 

 

This is a principle my wife and I believe in as well.

 

My mom read Grimm's and Anderson's Fairy Tales and the adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn to us a few times when we were kids.  But that wasn't what got me reading.  I mean, yes, it introduced me to reading books but I really wasn't into it. 

 

Public libraries in the Philippines are almost non-existent and if they do exist only housed the Encyclopedia Britannica and the newspapers.  Books were expensive so we didn't have much.  We had books at the house - a set of Dr. Seuss including The Foot Book (I have a strange fascination to this book) - and a whole set of hardbound double-features that are all English classics and a an entire shelf full of encyclopedia.  The fairy tales were great and I read all of it as they are all short stories that I can read while pretending to dust the bookshelf (my chore which I absolutely hated).  But Sawyer, Finn, Capt Ahab, the Little Women, the Arabian Knights and all of the others didn't capture my imagination.  As a kid, I couldn't relate to any of it.

 

It wasn't until some rich student in my 6th grade class brought The Mystery of the 99 Steps to school that I got addicted to books.  I begged that boy to let me borrow his book and because I'm such a popular kid, he let me!  I'm the only one that was allowed, not only to touch his book but to take it home!  I was done with the book by the time my dad came to school to pick me up, so I didn't have to take it home.  The next day he brought The Password to Larkspur Lane and I finished that too.  I went through all his Nancy Drews and Hardy Boys and I was reading everything I can get my hands on.  I get a kind of restless, listless feeling when the book series is done and the only way to cure it is to pick up another book.

 

It was difficult to find books in the Philippines.  I had a neighbor that has a dad in America and he sent her a set of Sweet Dreams series books so I read all of those... an aunt had a set of Barbara Cartlands so I read all of those... and some rinky-dink shady second-hand store downtown had a set of Loveswept books that he put in the back of the store with the porn magazines and I read all of those.  My dad finally found a way to get me more books - he joined this Book Circle at his work where people exchange books.  I was reading Robert Ludlum books by the time I was 12.  I had no book filter as my parents have never read any of these books and didn't know what was in them - I read all kinds of books from Tolkien to Sidney Sheldon and went back and read every single one of the double-feature Classics that we had at home.  By this time, Tom Sawyer didn't seem so unrelatable anymore and I was starting to understand more of the world outside of my hometown.  Books can really mess up minds too and there was a time where I couldn't sleep and went to a dark place after reading Damien Omen and The Exorcist and other really disturbing books.

 

Anyway, it's like a runner's high, I guess.  Running is boring.  But you get to the point where it captures your brain and gets you engaged.  This is how it was for me.  The Mystery of the 99 Steps unlocked my imagination.  So, that's how it is with my kids.  They read not because they get a grade and a high-five for it... they read because they fall into that other world like they are living in it.  I don't agree with, "you have to read at least 30-minutes a day" assignments from school.  If your imagination is not engaged, it's a waste of 30 minutes - they're just going to space out.  But, if their imagination is engaged, you'll have to shake them to get them to stop after 30 minutes and they'll be so excited to pick up another book because they'll have that restless, listless feeling after a book is done.  So instead of a 30-minute-a-day reading assignment, it is better to spend the time looking for that book that captures the kid's imagination and unlock that world for them.

 

And that's really the greatest contribution of the Harry Potter series... it captured the imagination of kids worldwide - it's their Mystery of the 99 Steps that unlocked that world for them.  So much so that they were willing to consume the horrid Twilight series and Mortal Instruments after that... they're On.  The restless, listless feeling is happening in-between books.  They just need to be directed to really great books.

Edited August 11, 2015 by anatess

[thoughts]

Have a father who reads to them 15 minutes a day from before birth.  Have both parents who they see reading for pleasure daily.  Have interesting books in the house.   Reserve time to read for the family for 20 minutes per day.

[char713]

I forgot that point but it is very important. At least one man (especially their father) in the boy's life who models the habit of reading. 

[Palerider]

That's why I stated earlier we read to all of our children and it paid off. They are all readers and love to read.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I think the "father reading to them and reading himself" is very important.  I have 4 boys, 2 are avid readers, and 2 are not.

 

I read to them as children, made great books available at home, and took them to the library, limited screen time . . . but what was missing?  My husband isn't a reader either.  He will read if he wants to learn something...and he has set a great example for the kids about life-long learning.  But he doesn't read fiction at all.