MISSIONARY BEHAVIOR AND ETHICS

[J.Dawson]

Greetings everyone,

 

I’m a non-LDS member and was hoping that some of you can give me some education and understanding regarding LDS missionary behavior and ethics.

 

Background

 

LDS missionaries started visiting my elderly father on a regular basis beginning early last year.  He was a childhood member due to his parents’ indoctrination, but left the church once he turned eighteen years old.  In fact, he hasn’t attended the LDS church or any other organized religion since he left the LDS church.  According to himself and his own wishes, he has lived 57 years without a need for religion or spiritual guidance. 

 

However, after experiencing some major life changing events a few years ago, he has shown an interest in returning back to the LDS lifestyle. Although I have no religious affiliation or interest, I am not opposed to my father returning to the LDS church or any other religion if it suits his spiritual needs at this time of his life.  However, I do have some concerns which I hope could be alleviated by any LDS experts out there.

 

Monetary gifts

 

Is part of the missionary mission to obtain money for the church?   Are missionaries instructed to collect money from people they contact or receive money for doing teaching, housework or yard work?

 

My father “slips” $20 bills to LDS sisters who come to see him.  This has not been on only one single occasion.   It is nearly every time they visit.  He has used the word “slips” in conversations with me and has suggested that the sisters aren’t actually allowed to accept money on behalf of the church or themselves and that if they were found out, that they would face disciplinary action of some kind.  Should the LDS sisters be accepting surreptitiously “slipped” cash from my father?  Are they violating any standards of conduct or church rules by allowing my father to give them money?

 

Expensive gifts 

 

Are missionaries allowed to accept expensive gifts from people they contact?

 

In addition to “slipping” cash to the sisters, my father has also given out expensive jewelry to his favorite sisters as well.   Is this ok?  Does missionary training teach them that accepting expensive jewelry with precious stones from potential converts is ok?  Any issues here?  Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

Expensive meals 

 

Are LDS missionaries allowed to or expected to accept lunches and dinners in four star restaurants with people they are trying to convert?

 

On numerous occasions my father has invited LDS sisters out to lunch and dinner at famous 4 star restaurants near his home.  These lunches and dinners consisted of several LDS sisters with my father and came to several hundred dollars on each occasion.   Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

LDS sisters entering the home of a male.

 

Are LDS sisters prohibited from entering the home of a male if there are no other females present?  

 

This was told to my brother once when he was visiting our father.  The doorbell rang at approximately 3:30pm in the afternoon and my brother answered the door.  Standing at the door were two Mormon sisters. My brother invited them in and one of them asked nervously and in pausing speech, “Um……do you have any other….um… women in the house now?”  My brother answered that no in fact not. They then proceeded to say that they could not enter the house because of this and that my father would have to go outside to meet with them.  However, almost one week later my brother came home at 8:30pm and the same two sisters were sitting in my father’s living room and there were no other women present.  They stayed until 9:30pm that night without any issues.

 

So, what is the real deal?   How can this set of circumstances be explained?   Can Mormon sisters come into the house of a male without other females present?  Is daytime taboo and nighttime alright?  Two sisters and one elderly old man ok….but two men and two sisters not?

 

LDS sisters versus LDS brothers

 

Is the missionary service within the US specifically reserved for young LDS sisters only?  It appears to me that LDS missionary work within the US are reserved for LDS sisters and the missionary work outside the US are reserved for the LDS brothers.  Am I correct about this? 

 

Since, the LDS missionaries started contacting my father early last year, there has never once been an LDS brother to visit him.  All of the LDS missionaries who have contacted my father have been sisters.  Some finish their missions and return home, others are transferred to other assignments and areas, however, the one thing that stays the same is that they are always replaced by other very young LDS sisters.  Is there a way to request that the LDS missionary service no longer send LDS sisters to visit my father and instead send LDS brothers?  This would alleviate a lot of the concern myself and other members of my family have regarding my father’s connection to the LDS church.

 

Conclusion/Summary

 

Does everything seem like it is on the up and up regarding my father and his relationships with the LDS missionary sisters?   Does anyone else feel that there is anything for me and my family to be concerned about?

 

Is there an LDS rulebook or standards of conduct book that I could read?  

 

How about an Internet webpage outlining the do’s and don’ts of LDS missionaries? 

 

Could I obtain a copy of the training textbooks that I assume all LDS missionaries receive prior to their duty postings?

 

Is there a manager or director of the LDS missionary program I could contact and get some assistance regarding any issues there might be?

 

Any advice, suggestions or assistance would be greatly appreciated.

 

With utmost respect,

Jenn

 

[Jane_Doe]

Answering the part I know the answer to for 100% sure--

 

 

LDS sisters versus LDS brothers

 

Is the missionary service within the US specifically reserved for young LDS sisters only?  It appears to me that LDS missionary work within the US are reserved for LDS sisters and the missionary work outside the US are reserved for the LDS brothers.  Am I correct about this? 

 

 

Are all US LDS missionaries female?  No, statistically only ~35% of them all.

 

Why your dad keeps getting female ones: missionaries are assigned to a geographic area (we call it a "ward").  The area your dad lives in happens to be handled by a pair of female missionaries.  When missionaries are switched out, majority of the time they replace one of the two and it'll be a female for a female (hence why he keeps getting girls).  They can replace both at the same time (like moving a pair of brothers in) but this is much less common (and logistically much more complicated with apartments and such).  

 

If your father wants to be taught be a pair of men instead, then that can be arranged: simply request it and they'll have an a neighboring area's male missionaries teach instead.

 

But yes, it appears that your father's pair are not consistently obeying the rules.  

[Just_A_Guy]

Hi Jenn -

When I served 15 years ago, we had a pocket-sized rule book called the "Missionary Handbook" (informally called the "white bible", because its cover is white) that we were expected to keep with us at all times. I don't know if it's still used. The primary Mormon missionary training text now in use is a manual entitled "Preach My Gospel", which is online at https://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service?lang=eng.

Re cash, gifts and expensive meals--I'm not aware of any church-wide policy about missionaries' accepting those kinds of things; but (speaking from experience) it is extremely rare to receive such things; though modestly-priced meals or groceries are somewhat common. I can see *one* extravagant meal or reasonably-priced gift as a going-away present, maybe; but on a recurring basis--or, where a male is giving jewelry to a female--it seems more problematic. And IMHO it is totally out of line for a missionary to solicit any pecuniary assistance or gift at all.

The situation could be totally innocent--maybe your dad is just very generous and the missionaries, being young girls, are too inexperienced to see the potential impropriety or don't quite know how to say "no". But it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to touch base with the "mission president" in your region and let him know your concerns. Missionaries are warned ad nauseum that their behavior reflects on the church as a whole, and that they must avoid even the appearance of impropriety. The fact that you even have these concerns indicates that something needs to be fixed.

Edited August 26, 2015 by Just_A_Guy

[David13]

Are you worried that your father is spending your inheritance?

He has that right, you know, that perogative.

We are requested to feed the missionaries.  We have lists to have them over for dinner.  I just take them out to dinner or lunch and let me tell you, they eat like horses.  And the more expensive it is, the more they like it.

And your father, it sounds like, is now in a financial position where he can entertain them, like he recalls the older people doing when he was young, and now he is able to do that.

Which he should be able to do to enjoy the later years of his life.

Which is what I do myself being old and single.  We don't get any girls tho', just guys, but I'm happy to have them 'be my guest'.

dc

[Vort]

Hi, Jenn,

 

I will try to answer your questions. Keep in mind that I am not a spokesman for the Church, just a member trying to give some answers. Nothing official here. Also, my reply is too long for a single post, so I'm going to do it in two parts.

 

Monetary gifts

 

Is part of the missionary mission to obtain money for the church?   Are missionaries instructed to collect money from people they contact or receive money for doing teaching, housework or yard work?

 

No. In general, missionaries do not collect money from anyone for any reason. I could believe there are individual exceptions, for example if the missionary is assigned to act as an agent for collecting tithing in an area of the world where there is no regularly organized stake. But that would be very unusual. Certainly, the missionaries are never paid a dime for teaching or helping people out. On the contrary, the missionaries themselves (or their families) pay the expenses for their missions. In no sense is the mission a for-profit enterprise for the missionary -- quite the opposite.

 

My father “slips” $20 bills to LDS sisters who come to see him.  This has not been on only one single occasion.   It is nearly every time they visit.  He has used the word “slips” in conversations with me and has suggested that the sisters aren’t actually allowed to accept money on behalf of the church or themselves and that if they were found out, that they would face disciplinary action of some kind.  Should the LDS sisters be accepting surreptitiously “slipped” cash from my father?  Are they violating any standards of conduct or church rules by allowing my father to give them money?

 

Uh...this is a bit of a gray area. I can count on the fingers of one hand all the times anyone gave me any money, and I will still have all five fingers left over. But one of my sons who just returned from his mission service was given gifts of money (on the order of $20 or so) a couple of times by generous members who wanted to help him. (We know because my son sent back 10% for us to pay for him as tithing.) So it's not unheard of. I would say it is not a usual thing, but not strictly prohibited, as far as I know.

 

Your father's generous act puts the sister missionaries in an awkward position. In my opinion, if this is a regular thing, they might do better to thank your father but tell him they don't accept gifts. But most missionaries live pretty close to the edge financially, and they may be using the money to help out other people they are teaching. You might do well to privately ask the sisters themselves this question.

 

Expensive gifts 

 

Are missionaries allowed to accept expensive gifts from people they contact?

 

In addition to “slipping” cash to the sisters, my father has also given out expensive jewelry to his favorite sisters as well.   Is this ok?  Does missionary training teach them that accepting expensive jewelry with precious stones from potential converts is ok?  Any issues here?  Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

Wow.

 

I have never heard of this before. In my own opinion -- and it's only my opinion -- this strikes me as inappropriate. I am surprised the missionaries would even accept such a gift.

 

If your dad says to a sister  missionary out of the blue, "I have this pair of earrings that aren't doing me any good, and I thought you might like them," then perhaps the missionary is simply touched by the generosity of this person and gratefully accepts the gift as a token of affection and goodwill. But if this is a regular practice, I find that a bit unsettling. In my opinion, such a thing is inappropriate. I guess I already said that.

 

One minor, off-topic point: Your father is not a "potential convert". Unless he actually had his name removed from the rolls of the Church, he is a member -- not an active member, but still a member. The baptism he had as a child is still in full force. In the eyes of the Church and its members, he is one of us already.

 

Expensive meals 

 

Are LDS missionaries allowed to or expected to accept lunches and dinners in four star restaurants with people they are trying to convert?

 

On numerous occasions my father has invited LDS sisters out to lunch and dinner at famous 4 star restaurants near his home.  These lunches and dinners consisted of several LDS sisters with my father and came to several hundred dollars on each occasion.   Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

Again -- wow. Your father is very generous.

 

It is not unusual for members or even "investigators" (those non-LDS being taught by the missionaries) to make the missionaries a meal. We typically host the missionaries at our house at least monthly, sometimes multiple times per week. It is likewise not unusual for someone to take the missionaries to dinner at a restaurant, though McDonald's or maybe Shari's would be more typical than some superfancy four-star Michelin-rated restaurant.

 

You as if it's "acceptable" behavior. I am not sure how to answer. I don't recall ever having discussed this in missionary training or when I was in the mission field. It just never came up. I think there is a "common sense" point at which you say, "Look, this is so generous of you, but we really can't accept this." Jewelry comes to mind as in this category, and I think meals (especially multiple meals) at an expensive restaurant does, too. But these are 20-year-old young women we're talking about, so they may not have the same perspective.

 

LDS sisters entering the home of a male.

 

Are LDS sisters prohibited from entering the home of a male if there are no other females present?  

 

This was told to my brother once when he was visiting our father.  The doorbell rang at approximately 3:30pm in the afternoon and my brother answered the door.  Standing at the door were two Mormon sisters. My brother invited them in and one of them asked nervously and in pausing speech, “Um……do you have any other….um… women in the house now?”  My brother answered that no in fact not. They then proceeded to say that they could not enter the house because of this and that my father would have to go outside to meet with them.  However, almost one week later my brother came home at 8:30pm and the same two sisters were sitting in my father’s living room and there were no other women present.  They stayed until 9:30pm that night without any issues.

 

So, what is the real deal?   How can this set of circumstances be explained?   Can Mormon sisters come into the house of a male without other females present?  Is daytime taboo and nighttime alright?  Two sisters and one elderly old man ok….but two men and two sisters not?

 

This will vary from mission to mission. By "mission", I mean a certain geographic area administered by a man called a "mission president" and his wife. All missionaries are called to serve in a specific mission, and while they serve in that mission, they are subject to the mission president as their direct leader.

 

Among many other responsibilities, the mission president is tasked with setting the specific rules for his mission, such as by what time missionaries are supposed to be back home. Many mission presidents set rules to prevent too-close interaction of sister missionaries with unmarried men and of "elders" (young male missionaries) with unmarried women. This is primarily for the protection of the missionary, and also to prevent any confusion or misunderstanding with those they teach.

 

In some missions, elders who find an unmarried woman to teach are instructed to hand her off to the sister missionaries to teach. In some circumstances, elders are instructed not to teach a woman or even enter her house or apartment unless there is another adult (sometimes another man) present. Similarly, the sister missionaries are sometimes instructed not to enter the dwelling of a man unless another woman is there. Or they may be told that they can enter the house of an elderly man, but if there is a younger man present, they have to have another woman there or they can't go in. Such rules may sound arbitrary, but they are set by the mission president according to his experience and what he thinks is needed. So it is entirely possible that the sisters were acting according to their specific rules and not just making stuff up as they went along.

 

(Part two to follow.)

[Vort]

LDS sisters versus LDS brothers

 

Is the missionary service within the US specifically reserved for young LDS sisters only?  It appears to me that LDS missionary work within the US are reserved for LDS sisters and the missionary work outside the US are reserved for the LDS brothers.  Am I correct about this?

 

No. Both of my older sons have served missions in the US. You just happen not to have seen any elders yet.

 

Since, the LDS missionaries started contacting my father early last year, there has never once been an LDS brother to visit him.  All of the LDS missionaries who have contacted my father have been sisters.  Some finish their missions and return home, others are transferred to other assignments and areas, however, the one thing that stays the same is that they are always replaced by other very young LDS sisters.  Is there a way to request that the LDS missionary service no longer send LDS sisters to visit my father and instead send LDS brothers?  This would alleviate a lot of the concern myself and other members of my family have regarding my father’s connection to the LDS church.

 

If the sisters have been assigned a certain area, sister missionary companionships will remain there until a different assignment is made. The specific sisters will come and go as the mission president sees fit, but the assignment will remain until the president changes it. Odds are there are male missionaries assigned to adjacent areas. (Note that the male missionaries are typically a year or two younger than the female missionaries.)

 

Can you request men instead of women? Sure. Talk to the missionaries.

 

Look, based on what you have written, I share some of your concerns. But at this point, we aren't talking about Church procedure or anything. Rather, we're talking about you controlling who your father talks to. Is this what you want to do? Is your father so mentally unstable or infirm, in an advanced stage of senility or something, that you need to manage his personal affairs for him? If so, then do what you must. Otherwise, I would encourage you to talk to your dad himself and make your decisions along with him. He's a grown-up and, barring serious dementia, he gets to make his own decisions about who he associates with and how he spends his money, without having to get the approval of his children first.

 

No offense intended. Things just seem to have shifted from concern about inappropriate missionary activities to concern about the choices a father is making. The former concern is appropriate and actionable; the latter is much less so.

 

Conclusion/Summary

 

Does everything seem like it is on the up and up regarding my father and his relationships with the LDS missionary sisters?   Does anyone else feel that there is anything for me and my family to be concerned about?

 

On the whole, this situation sounds a little weird (especially the part about jewelry), but not off-the-charts bizarre. I might try to keep tabs on things in case they really start getting out of hand, but otherwise I would not worry about it. It doesn't sound all that weird to me.

 

Is there an LDS rulebook or standards of conduct book that I could read?

 

Here is a link to the LDS Missionary Handbook: https://www.lds.org/manual/missionary-handbook?lang=eng

 

How about an Internet webpage outlining the do’s and don’ts of LDS missionaries?

 

To a large extent, this is set by the individual mission president. You can ask the missionaries themselves about their rules. The missionary handbook I linked to contains the basic rules of pretty much all missions.

 

Could I obtain a copy of the training textbooks that I assume all LDS missionaries receive prior to their duty postings?

 

That would be the missionary handbook.

 

Is there a manager or director of the LDS missionary program I could contact and get some assistance regarding any issues there might be?

 

If you felt it necessary, you could contact the local mission home, where the mission president lives. Ask the missionaries for contact information.

 

Any advice, suggestions or assistance would be greatly appreciated.

 

Jenn, I guess my advice/suggestion would be not to get too worked up about this. I suspect this situation has less to do with the LDS Church per se and more to do with a daughter watching her aging father grapple with life issues that he has yet to resolve. I sympathize with this; I have a widowed mother, and it's not always easy to watch her make decisions that I don't necessarily agree with. But just as our parents allowed us to grow up and become the people we chose to be, we need to give them the freedom to live their lives as they see fit.

 

All the best to you and your family.

[David13]

We are not spokemen for the church.  Our responses are our own belief.

Missionaries don't get paid.  They serve without financial compensation.  In fact, they pay $400 a month to do their mission.  Some have money they earned.  Some parents pay.

Some with no money, the missionary fund pays for them.

Your father is like the Pied Piper.  Offering free food.  The missionaries salivate like Pavlov dogs when they hear 'free food'. 

They are hungry.

It's like offering a fish to a cat.

dc

[pkstpaul]

One reason your father's ward may have more Sisters assigned than Elders, is that many wards have the members housing the missionaries and many members cannot have, or do not want, Elders living in th home. It is easier to find housing for Sisters. My ward now has two sets of sisters and I haven't seen Elders in years.

 

In my opinion, the Sisters may be too embarrassed to say 'no' to your father, or he makes it difficult for them to say no. He may be perceived as wealthy and that the gifts and meals are not extravagant for him. In either case, most missionaries would turn down the money and would not be comfortable eating a fancy meal. Ask your father to be considerate of the missionaries feelings and offer less or embarrass them less. Going out for meals is an ideal way of tackling what you saw as an issue of sisters not being alone with a single male. They should have discussed the matter with their leader and he may have given permission for them to be alone, due to your father's age. I'm sure every case is different and handling the situation is often done "by the Spirit." 

 

I might suggest you join your father in the discussions. This may curtain some of the behavior you are witnessing and will help you in understanding any decision he makes regarding baptism or activity in the Church.

[David13]

Whoa pkstpaul

I don't know what your ward is like, or where your missionaries come from, but ours here can't find fancy enough restaurants for us to take them out to.

I'm hard pressed to impress them.  Which is fine with me.

Anyway, op, I love the missionaries and love their company.

We only have males, and I wish we did have some females.

They are polite, good manners, no profanity, talk of spiritual and scriptural matters, and are just good company.

They know about the church, or all about the church, and can answer any questions you have, or, if I stump them on a theological question, I'm pleased to be able to educate them.

Because I learn in the process.

And, due to my age, I'm closer to the end than ever, so I need spiritual help for my preparation.

dc

[thoughts]

I suspect that the sisters think that an elderly invalid man is not a "man" in the sense of they shouldn't be in the home alone with him.   I don't know that their Mission President would agree with them.

 

They can freely accept meals from anyone who is willing to feed them.   And they shouldn't be questioning how much it costs (though if they weren't so young, they would absolutely should pick up on whether the extravagance more than they should accept).

 

While there are no rules about accepting money or gifts, the sisters should know better than to accept more than a very occasional $20 (to pay for a meal), or to accept jewelry.   I think you should report this to their Mission President immediately.

 

Missionaries do not collect any funds for any reason from anybody.   (The church may send teen boys to collect fast offerings used in each locality to help the poor, on the first sunday of each month.   Everyone who appears on the rolls of the church, whether they ever attend church are given the opportunity to contribute to this effort.)

 

Yes, you have a right to be concerned about what these sisters are doing.   It is not typical, and although not expressly prohibited by rule, it is at least somewhat unseemly.   (Though, to be fair, we do not know the whole story and if we did, it might not be that way.)

 

If you google latter day saint mission home and the nearest big city, you should get the direct number.  You might even know the official name of the Mission and get the info that way.  

Edited August 27, 2015 by thoughts

[omegaseamaster75]

 

Monetary gifts

 

Is part of the missionary mission to obtain money for the church?   Are missionaries instructed to collect money from people they contact or receive money for doing teaching, housework or yard work?

 

My father “slips” $20 bills to LDS sisters who come to see him.  This has not been on only one single occasion.   It is nearly every time they visit.  He has used the word “slips” in conversations with me and has suggested that the sisters aren’t actually allowed to accept money on behalf of the church or themselves and that if they were found out, that they would face disciplinary action of some kind.  Should the LDS sisters be accepting surreptitiously “slipped” cash from my father?  Are they violating any standards of conduct or church rules by allowing my father to give them money?

 

 

No monetary gifts should be accepted, I suspect that they are in violation of mission rules by accepting money

 

 

Expensive gifts 

 

Are missionaries allowed to accept expensive gifts from people they contact?

 

In addition to “slipping” cash to the sisters, my father has also given out expensive jewelry to his favorite sisters as well.   Is this ok?  Does missionary training teach them that accepting expensive jewelry with precious stones from potential converts is ok?  Any issues here?  Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

Not ok, falls under the same category as money

 

 

 

Expensive meals 

 

Are LDS missionaries allowed to or expected to accept lunches and dinners in four star restaurants with people they are trying to convert?

 

On numerous occasions my father has invited LDS sisters out to lunch and dinner at famous 4 star restaurants near his home.  These lunches and dinners consisted of several LDS sisters with my father and came to several hundred dollars on each occasion.   Is this acceptable behavior for LDS missionaries?

 

No issue with meals if your father asks them out to eat, I am certain that they are not choosing the venue. Your father likes to eat well, and they get to tag along win for them.

 

 

 

 

LDS sisters entering the home of a male.

 

So, what is the real deal?   How can this set of circumstances be explained?   Can Mormon sisters come into the house of a male without other females present?  Is daytime taboo and nighttime alright?  Two sisters and one elderly old man ok….but two men and two sisters not?

 

 

So the basic rule is that there must be another female present, they are making an exception for your father because he is older possibly? This is a mistake on the sister missionaries part and they should not be doing this.

 

Lastly, as mentioned previously your father is a member already his baptism is still valid. I understand the concern as a child looking out for an aging parent, but unless he is engaging in some sort of weird behavior I would probably ignore the whole thing

[Guest]

Are you worried that your father is spending your inheritance?

He has that right, you know, that perogative.

 

dc

 

I just want to interrupt the conversation a little bit... I promise not to hijack the thread.

 

Children of Elderly Parents need to be concerned about the way their parents spend their money in the later years, not to protect their inheritance or some such, but because the Elderly are often easy prey for scam artists.  My dad, for example, was awesome with managing his finances and is pretty finance savvy with many investments.  Yet, he still got scammed by an online scam artist pretending to sell him travel packages.  He was so embarrassed by it that he tried to hide it from us, including my mother.  I found out about it by accident and immediately put a stop to it.  I didn't tell my dad I did it - I can tell from my asking him questions that he was trying to hide it because he couldn't admit he made such a poor decision.  I went ahead and called the "agent" told him he will be dealing with me from now on, I froze my dad's credit card and these guys went slinking into the night never to be heard from again.  I reported them to the Feds.

 

He got scammed again at the Olympics in Atlanta.  He thought he was renting a house for the Olympics.  Come to find out, the guy was just collecting money and he was just posting random houses.  He shows up with his bags at the house the guy gave him on the info and the owner of the house had no clue his house was used for a scam.  Fortunately, the owner of the house was a very nice woman and she let us stay in her posh house for the duration of the Olympics.

 

So yea, it is good that the OP is trying to protect her dad's money.

Edited August 27, 2015 by anatess

[J.Dawson]

Wow!  I am overwhelmed with all of the wonderful, insightful and helpful postings.  I never expected such a quick reaction.  I am very thankful that I have found such a helpful resource.  Much thanks to all of you who have read my thread and taken the time to respond to my queries.

 

I will continue to read all of the postings and will formulate a proper response to your answers after I've had some time to digest it.

 

Peace to all,

 

Jenn

[David13]

Anatess

I am happy to agree with you on that 100% with no question whatsoever, except one glaring obvious mountainous difference. 

 

With which I certainly hope you agree as I do not want to roll around on the ground kicking my feet in the air in indignation.

 

These are LDS missionaries.  Not scarm artists.

Op did not say scam artists had him buying a new time share each week.

Op said 'LDS missionaries.  Our beloved sons and daughters (and grandsons and granddaughters).  The good kids.  And we know for the most part how they operate, don't we.

 

LDS missionaries from our beloved the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. 

 

I think also it's clear that there's no overreaching mentioned here.  And there was no mention of "invalid" as someone else gratuitiously added.

 

So my original question still stands.

dc

[Guest]

Anatess

I am happy to agree with you on that 100% with no question whatsoever, except one glaring obvious mountainous difference. 

 

With which I certainly hope you agree as I do not want to roll around on the ground kicking my feet in the air in indignation.

 

These are LDS missionaries.  Not scarm artists.

Op did not say scam artists had him buying a new time share each week.

Op said 'LDS missionaries.  Our beloved sons and daughters (and grandsons and granddaughters).  The good kids.  And we know for the most part how they operate, don't we.

 

LDS missionaries from our beloved the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. 

 

I think also it's clear that there's no overreaching mentioned here.  And there was no mention of "invalid" as someone else gratuitiously added.

 

So my original question still stands.

dc

 

Yes, I do agree with you.  But that's because I know LDS missionaries.

 

The OP doesn't know LDS missionaries and so she's asking here to make sure these are not scam artists...

[David13]

I know.

And the op didn't describe anything that sounded like a scam. 

So I asked the question.

dc

[bytebear]

If someone is sneaking 20s into their purses, there's not much they can do, but I could easily see them slipping the money back somehow.  But I can see an older gentleman enjoying the company of two young women. I would be more concerned that the missionaries are being taken advantage of.  Perhaps it would be best to have them replaced with male missionaries, or even better with (male) home teachers from the local ward.  I might consider contacting the local bishop and arranging some local fellowship from local members, rather than or in addition to the missionaries.

[David13]

I don't understand why we think Pa can't make his own decisions.  He is of legal age you know, and there is no evidence of any impairment of any kind.

Pa was a member of the church before.  He knows what a Bishop is, he can go to see the Bishop and ask for anything he wants. 

In fact, I suspect the missionaries have already spoken to him about returning to Sacrament meeting and active membership, that is, if he is not already attending Sacrament meeting.

dc

 

You know, I'm in a somewhat similar position, only to a lesser extent and I know I sure wouldn't want anybody complaining about it behind my back, or taking action about it behind my back. 

Edited August 28, 2015 by David13

[LDS0617]

Jenn, I am a lifelong member and very active. I also look our for my elderly/aging parents. I see you are very concerned, but you are also being extremely polite. I appreciate that. I would also be VERY concerned if this was happening to my parents.

I do not think the sisters are necessarily meaning to do anything wrong, but I do think their actions need to be addressed and need to change. I do advise reporting it to the area mission president. You may be able to find that by googling....something like your city then "LDS mission area." Once you get the potential mission home city, it looks like you can find the office here: http://preparetoserve.com/blog/how-to-contact-lds-mission-offices/ . Even if you end up with the wrong office, I assume the person answering can get you to the right place.

I think with your concerns but your polite manner, they would like to know what is going on. Good for you for looking out for him! I wish more kids did. I am sorry about this behavior....I think the girls are naive (as many can be at that age), but they do need to be taught.