NeedleinA Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Lived in a US state (name withheld) and I was bused to a specific high school as part of that state's integration program. There were 5 minorities in the high school, my sister and I were 2 of them. Every day derogatory race names and hate were used towards us, bullying was normal. When students yelled racial slurs across the hall/room, you knew it was directed at you. That was a situation I was "forced" into. No perception of bullying, it was real. There is nothing forced about being on a voluntary forum. The beauty is the computer has an off switch if someone feels "real" bullying. pam 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 According to scripture - G-d chastens those he loves. Is the judgment of G-d a form of bulling? Perhaps Satan and his followers would think so. Does this mean that G-d is a bully? I do not consider name calling and other such things bulling – I consider physical confrontation bulling the other stuff does nothing to a person that such person does not believe to be true or do to themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 I don't remember, or wasn't involved in the initial spat whatever it was. But I was taken a bit aback when I noticed a poster weaving in an insult to this forum in general in nearly every post made.I know some of our discussions can become intense, and some of us have sharper edges than others but lds.net I've felt has been a great forum. I've learned a lot here, and as I became more familiar with each posters style I learned to recognize that in nearly every instance when we choose to ask clarifying questions and seek to understand instead of to take offense we can have some great intense discussions.I've learned so much about other faiths here, and I've learned how to defend and more eloquently express ours. I've never felt personally attacked here and I think I've disagreed with just about everyone at one point or another. Crypto, Backroads and The Folk Prophet 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 I became more familiar with each posters style... Agreed. Variety of posters and their styles adds wonderful flavor for learning and avoids "Attack of the Clones" - G.LucasThe intellectuals, the soft spirited, the goof balls, etc. = a great forum, lds.net jerome1232 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Agreed. Variety of posters and their styles adds wonderful flavor for learning and avoids "Attack of the Clones" - G.LucasThe intellectuals, the soft spirited, the goof balls, etc. = a great forum, lds.net I'm not sure I want to know which category I fall into. Probably the goof ball one. :) jerome1232 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccaKirstyn Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 (edited) We all have different personalities. As mentioned, communication via text is not as easy to pick up on those personality characteristics that affect the way you communicate. I read someone's post with a general idea of what this person sounds like (so yes, I've given you all personal voices in my head when I read your posts---totally not weird...) based on what I've picked up about this person. But I don't truly know what any of you are like (besides what you've stated on this forum). So we have a tendency to misread, misunderstand, and mistranslate communication via text, which is not as prominent in communication in person (but still possible). We also don't trip over our words or say "um, ah, uh" like we do in typical communication. We get time to think out our responses and correct any errors. I feel like I was going to get at some grand point but now I've forgotten and am going to leave it at that. Main point: communication via text has it's downfalls! Edited November 9, 2015 by BeccaKirstyn jerome1232 and AnnieCarvalho 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erog84 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Everyone takes things different, and also reacts differently. What could be me trying to be nice, but blunt and getting to the point might come across as bullying to others. I would say they need to grow a thicker Skin, and they would say I need to not be such a jerk. In the end, I TRY (key word try) to come across as nice as I can with still getting across my points, and those people need to TRY(key word try) to interpret my words as non attacking, and perhaps then we can communicate with eachother regardless of our differences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Godless Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Recent topics on civility, treatment of new posters, and now bullying have me wondering if "ignore" is still an option. I never used it under the old forum format, but I realized just recently that I can't seem to find it anymore. I've found that the best way to shut up someone on the internet is to ignore them. I never needed a button to do that, but I understand that it definitely helps for some people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted November 9, 2015 Report Share Posted November 9, 2015 Recent topics on civility, treatment of new posters, and now bullying have me wondering if "ignore" is still an option. I never used it under the old forum format, but I realized just recently that I can't seem to find it anymore. I've found that the best way to shut up someone on the internet is to ignore them. I never needed a button to do that, but I understand that it definitely helps for some people.I've always wondered what it would be like to be in a thread and there's some ghost making posts you can't see that everyone else can see. It would be too weird for me haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Sorry to be the one to mention this, but what do you think Byron would say if we asked him if LDS.net is a friendly place. I suspect he would say no. How well you fit in here depends on who you disagree with and whether or not you enjoy debating. Some people don't like to debate and find it stressful and contentious. If you find yourself on the "wrong" side of an issue, the heat is on. Even when you try to avoid debates it's not always possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) Recent topics on civility, treatment of new posters, and now bullying have me wondering if "ignore" is still an option. I never used it under the old forum format, but I realized just recently that I can't seem to find it anymore. I've found that the best way to shut up someone on the internet is to ignore them. I never needed a button to do that, but I understand that it definitely helps for some people.It's here. I use it all the time. I never leave anyone on it permanently, but when I need a break I use it. Edited November 10, 2015 by LiterateParakeet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Sorry to be the one to mention this, but what do you think Byron would say if we asked him if LDS.net is a friendly place. I suspect he would say no. How well you fit in here depends on who you disagree with and whether or not you enjoy debating. Some people don't like to debate and find it stressful and contentious. If you find yourself on the "wrong" side of an issue, the heat is on. Even when you try to avoid debates it's not always possible.Then forums probably just aren't their thing. I mean I participate on ubuntu forums and all we do is troubleshoot stuff and we get into debates there. This is religion. Second to none when it comes to personal and passionate. David13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 In general I often view conversations much like a tennis match. If someone slams the ball into my court with a spin on – I believe that I am justified in returning the ball to their court with at least the velocity and spin that they used. The one problem with this approach is that seldom does anyone recognize a response in kind and thinks I am the bully. I also admit that from time to time I will answer things – not because I believe certain things but because I am convinced that someone is not really considering or thinking through the possibilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 And BTW, vim is superior to emacs. Crypto 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crypto Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Then forums probably just aren't their thing. I mean I participate on ubuntu forums and all we do is troubleshoot stuff and we get into debates there. This is religion. Second to none when it comes to personal and passionate.A bit of a tangent, but does Ubuntu still ship with amazon adware? I haven't hung out there pretty much since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jerome1232 Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Well yes though I wouldn't call it that. By default searching in the dash without selecting a lens searches all of the lenses one of which is an amazon shopping one. You are notified of it on first run and shown how to turn it off, I agree with many it should be off and you should be asked if you want to enable it. It's not of particular concern to me like it is with some. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Recent topics on civility, treatment of new posters, and now bullying have me wondering if "ignore" is still an option. I never used it under the old forum format, but I realized just recently that I can't seem to find it anymore. I've found that the best way to shut up someone on the internet is to ignore them. I never needed a button to do that, but I understand that it definitely helps for some people. I love it when people ignore me. That just means they can't see my responses and so don't get offended, argue back, or even realize that I said something that countered their view. Really, it only hurts the person ignoring the others if their interest is to further their point or thinking on a matter. If their interest is civility alone and someone makes them irate...maybe a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David13 Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Then forums probably just aren't their thing. I mean I participate on ubuntu forums and all we do is troubleshoot stuff and we get into debates there. This is religion. Second to none when it comes to personal and passionate. Well, maybe politics. Or gun control.dc jerome1232 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Being on the forums here has taught me a lot. I have learned that I better know how to back up any statements I make. I remember in one of my very early posts I had mentioned something that I believed was church doctrine, and I was immediately asked where I had heard this, and would I please show documentation or references. I was completely at a loss. It was just something I had assumed and had heard somewhere. It's been good for me to research and find answers. And, I have actually learned that Classylady doesn't know everything about the Church, there's a lot out there I can learn, and there are people on these forums that I have learned a lot from. Thank you, all. Vort, Backroads, NeedleinA and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Being on the forums here has taught me a lot. I have learned that I better know how to back up any statements I make. I remember in one of my very early posts I had mentioned something that I believed was church doctrine, and I was immediately asked where I had heard this, and would I please show documentation or references. I was completely at a loss. It was just something I had assumed and had heard somewhere. It's been good for me to research and find answers. And, I have actually learned that Classylady doesn't know everything about the Church, there's a lot out there I can learn, and there are people on these forums that I have learned a lot from. Thank you, all. Yep. Participation on a discussion list is a humbling experience. classylady 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 At work I sometimes get called rude because I tell people things they don't like to hear. My typical response: "just because you don't like what I'm saying doesn't make it rude." Same thing often applies to the accusations of bullying on forums. Just because you don't like what someone said doesn't make it bullying. NeedleinA and Leah 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieCarvalho Posted November 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 At work I sometimes get called rude because I tell people things they don't like to hear. My typical response: "just because you don't like what I'm saying doesn't make it rude." Same thing often applies to the accusations of bullying on forums. Just because you don't like what someone said doesn't make it bullying. Hearing something you don't like to hear can feel "rude" if the person telling you is being rude.It can also simply be different or disappointing, if the person is simply telling you what they believe to be true, but is telling you in a kind, clear manner, such as the manner of voice in which Elder Christofferson explained the Handbook changes. He wasn't rude.He wasn't condescending.He was concise, clear, and polite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) Hearing something you don't like to hear can feel "rude" if the person telling you is being rude.It can also simply be different or disappointing, if the person is simply telling you what they believe to be true, but is telling you in a kind, clear manner, such as the manner of voice in which Elder Christofferson explained the Handbook changes. He wasn't rude.He wasn't condescending.He was concise, clear, and polite Rude is subjective. Elder Christofferson is an apostle. He doesn't dabble in forum discussions. When we do forum discussions, we don't take the time to prepare a Talk appropriate for Sunday Worship, Sunday School, or News Media the same way Elder Christofferson did to respond to the policy changes. We just vomit what's in our head right onto the keyboard. Edited November 10, 2015 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Just for the record, I'm the only one who can "bull"y on this site. I am the resident cow (I have horns, so many mistake me for a bull). AnnieCarvalho, classylady and Backroads 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnieCarvalho Posted November 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 (edited) Rude is subjective. Elder Christofferson is an apostle. He doesn't dabble in forum discussions. When we do forum discussions, we don't take the time to prepare a Talk appropriate for Sunday Worship, Sunday School, or News Media the same way Elder Christofferson did to respond to the policy changes. We just vomit what's in our head right onto the keyboard. Yes.Some do vomit. Others don't vomit replies, but are concise, clear, and polite. Edited November 10, 2015 by AnnieCarvalho Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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