What are the limits of the Lord's Forgiveness?


Mark Sword
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 Before I introduce myself, I want to make clear that I have read the rules to posting certain regards about types of various sins (including sexual immorality), and will make sure to keep those standards with upmost reverence to the members and to God himself. I am in need of advice, not here to dispute any manner of negative behavior towards our faith. I am a Morman.

 

 

 

Good afternoon, my name is Mark Sword, I am currently a Priest of the age of 18. I find myself stuck or rather, terrified at my stance of life having many questions on my standing in the church. When I had turned 18, I soon realized of several mistakes that I have burded for a duration of my early years coming to the important decison of missionary work. I have ultimately come to the decision of counseling with the bishop of my ward in regards to sexual immorality, not to the extent that I'd find myself with temporary pleasure with a partner. All seemed good and well in the plan of my repentance, yet as my mistakes grew as an addiction my perception to stay in a corrcted manner in keeping the commandments easily broke off. Even until now I stand in the three paths; seeking complete and upmost godly sorrowful repentance, decline to purse wordly matters (yet I have learned in the scriptures as mostly anyone in the church that all wordly matters will die/vanish in the second coming), and the hardest decison of ending my own mortality. 

 

 

 Even to this day I look at these three decisons, two as my main goals. I still put repentance on my main objective to correct my willingly sins, though the worldy matters still break my path to repentance. I find myself constantly praying for strenght to lead to sincere repentance, but to the next weekend I find myself in the same spot I was in when I realized that I had broken several points in the law of chasity, if not the whole commandment. To this point, I question myself if God (Jesus Christ) will not forgive me if I relapse and keep kicking against my pricks and eventually beat the sins that I may make that steady and corrected path to repentance (finding myself too late to repent). I do not see if God is still with me, mostly to the fact of me continuing my transgressions with willingness. I still ponder in the back of my mind, if he is mighty to save me.

 

 

 After my counseling with my Bishop, I have remebered two other sins more serious to my fault in sexual immorality. I will not discuss about the start and end of what made me committ to these very serious transgressions, but I will discuss partialy what I have done. Beginning when I was a Freshman in my high school years, I had the negative influences directly at me feeling to the point I was nothing but disabled, I felt ashamed that I had been born with two disabilities that affected me physically and mentally, that I could not live my life to marry and to have the family I wanted in the church. I began to apostatize from the LDS church, and came to the decison of ultimately leaving the once so ever greatness in joy church I had been bapatized into. I had started to fight with god with rebellion in my own anger towads him thinking he personally did this to humiliate me for the rest of my life given. For so long I had not understood why he had given me weaknesses that would literally affect my life's functionality. Then, I began to continually dread that there was no cure unto my main disability. I had looked ahead into my future seeing that I would only become victim to the falls of disadvantage of my weaknesses. I began to become greatly depressed of my weaknesses, starting to live in suicidal intentions. The fact I became overwhelemed that there wasn't a cure to my disability, and the fact I hadn't had any trust at the time that the Lord could help me, I started to plan Suicidal attempts, thinking I could atone my weaknesses and cure them. I attempted three dreadful attempts to end my mortality, but the third attempt, I still remeber a gospel doctrine teaching burst into my thoughts as I was slowly grasping for air; ENDURE TO THE END. I had rembered that teaching in the seminary class I was in currently attending.

 

 

 Even now, I had realized I almost comitted suicide, which is believed to be as serious to Murder, and to be horrified that I may have committed the unpardonable sin. I began to research these very serious transgressions. Finding that not much is known about Suicide itself other than the main commandment; Thou shalt not kill; or anything like unto it, determined that it could have (or would have) ended my chance to be brought into the Celestial and Terrestial kingdoms, but to serve one thousand years of the first Hell in the penalty of that transgression, then be brought into the Telestial Kingdom afterwards. I am shocked that I may have comitted the unpardonable sin, though it is not easy to commit. Correct me under the replys if my answer is incorrect (I am not trying to teach false teachings) but inorder to commited the blasphemy to the Holy Ghost (in which is to God/other sacred things alike) is to, have a perfect witness of God (Jesus Christ) through a vision revealed by the Holy Ghost, see him face to face with a undeniable sight, then with your own agency or even unworthiness, deny that he exists, stating he dosen't live. According to that, that is seen to be the unpardonable sin, have grieved the Lord to the extent that repentance is no longer possible, Murder is forgiveable or is "paid for" after the thousand years of the first Hell (Fisrt spiritial death), unless a person has commited the unpardonable sin as well. I am glad after researching these two serious sins, that I have not been revealed a personal vision of God himself, and very few people do during the years of my rebellion. The Prophet, previous Phrophets, higher authority, and very few people witness a vision of God himself.

 

 

 After I had been brought to hear; ENDURE TO THE END, I searched the scripture during seminary class to find two scriptures containg answers to my rebellion of misunderstanding of my weaknesses. One beginning off as; (Excuse me for not citiing any scriptural references, I cannot relocate them) I gave men weaknesses that they may be humble. The second; (can't remeber the whole scripture) I the Lord make weak things stonger. Both I still remeber in the back of my head whenever I get suicidal intentions. I'm glad I hadn't ended my own morality but I am still horrified about my own personal Apostasy with the church. As Apostasy is looked to be the highest of the sins, I am filled with despair, that even if God taught me by the Holy Ghost the answers of what I needed, there is no hope, that I maybe literally a Son of Perdition. I have not gone back to counsel with my Bishop, in fear of definite Excommunication (Though another scripture clearly defines what happens when we hide ours sins, located somewhere in Doctrine and Covenants, ending at the last part of the scripture; "Amen or Authority of that man"), I have as of not to re-talk to my Bishop. 

 

 

 But with some other respones from chats (Though I should talk with my Bishop, and pray to God for an answer) from Mormon.Org, that I have not certainly committed the unpardonable sin, the fact I am looking for repentance underlines that, I may not be a Son of Perdition. I dreadfully hope that is the case. Somewhere according to the unpardonable sin, a scriptural reference explains that; "it is impossible to bring that man unto repentance", the fact I am looking to God to repent, is the hope I still hang onto repenting and not quit. One of the things my Bishop and and futher counseling form LDS.org described; Do not let Satan teach you that you cannot Repent; Don't look back; and don't give up, the Lord is patient. From those three teachings, I cannot determine whether or not if Satan is tormenting me that repentance is not possible, or the fact God is stating that I cannot. When I choose to sin, I still feel stings and feel ashamed afterwards of my decison, perhaps I still have hope? I still feel the need to repent of all my sins, rather than the attitude of a Son of Perdition that would have no desire to repent, though I keep thinking I may be already a Son of Perdition as I type. I am certain as I type with no regards to lie of this statement, I have not recieved a revealation of God, or his image nor the Father by the Holy Ghost. This is the only underlining piece of hope I hold on to, if that wasn't true, I may have not typed this post. I have random feelings of comfortable warmth in my bosom, perhaps the Holy Ghost, or rather an answer from God? I feel the need to repent yet will it be worth it to my salvation, is the devil tormenting me? I hate to bring these theories up, but I am left to an extent I cannot answer.

 

 

 Sorry for the bulk of my questions, my main need of advice after the bulk of my past is; Is there hope or even mercy for the likes of me? Does God to this point still love me? Does God Hate me? Would anyone have any experience or similar instances and found forgiveness from God?

 

 In dear upmost respect unto God himself and the church, I conclude.

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 Sorry for the bulk of my questions, my main need of advice after the bulk of my past is; Is there hope or even mercy for the likes of me? Does God to this point still love me? Does God Hate me? Would anyone have any experience or similar instances and found forgiveness from God?

 

 In dear upmost respect unto God himself and the church, I conclude.

 

Remember the scriptures when Jesus was hanging on the cross with 2 criminals next to him.  One of them was penitent and Jesus promised he will be with him in paradise.  And as the crowds were mocking Him, as His loved ones abandoned Him, as Roman soldiers were nailing Him to the cross, as people were gambling for His clothes and as He was put out completely in shame….  What did Jesus say?  Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

 

There's nothing so great you can do that God's mercy cannot touch you.  Neither I nor you can judge you - only Jesus can.  And God hating his children?  He ceases to be God.

 

From my armchair quarterbacking position, I see that your problem revolve around your obsession with yourself.  You are so self-focused that you can't see beyond yourself.  You try to kill yourself because your perception of who you are does not match with your perception of who you are supposed to be.  The solution to this problem is to focus OUTWARD.  Stop obsessing on yourself and start looking at finding ways you can serve another.  You can't serve someone when you're dead.  You can't serve someone when you're too busy fighting your own demons.  Cast out your demons and go find the beauty in others.  Love someone - even if it's just a dog or a potted plant.  You will notice that the more you look outward, the more you look forward to a new day so you can live more of it.

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First, I would encourage you to pursue a career in writing.

 

If indeed your expressions are sincere, I believe the Lord will measure your desire and will measure your behaviors (all of our behaviors) in the context of the earthly parameters in which we live (i.e. family and social environment).

 

You seem to be perfectly human in the context in which you paint the picture, and that is the plan for which the Lord prepared for us; including forgiveness.

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I am saying the following to hopefully encourage you.

 

How did you get the idea that you had committed an unpardonable sin?  There is only one unpardonable sin.  And it is not murder or suicide.

 

Additionally, attempted suicide is not the same as suicide.  Thinking about a sin is not the same as the sin itself.

 

If you've asked your bishop these questions, he should have told you this already.  Please talk to him about your concerns.

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Long post, here is my perspective. Like most individuals that I see meeting with the bishop they have problems. Never insurmountable problems but problems. 

 

Most people and I suspect you fall into this category fail to get out of their own way. Let me explain, In the garden of Gethsemane Our savior subjugated himself to the will of the father and suffered for all of your sins. A perfect atonement for all of us. You have already been forgiven!!!  “For behold, I... have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer... even as I.” (Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-17)

 

Have faith, repent, keep the commandments.

 

God loves you and he has already forgiven you, now forgive yourself.

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As long as you even have a shred of desire to repent I don't see how you could possibly be lost forever. Act as much as you can upon that desire! Some repentance processes are a life-long endeavor. Don't let Satan ever talk you out of repentance. He's the only one whispering those things to you. God will never tell you not to repent. Let go of the whole perdition thing.. I believe you're very right when you say that such a person would have no desire to repent.. Not even a fleeting desire.

Because of the world we live in, you will encounter many who will minimize sexual sin and tell you it's no big deal. They will try to convince you that it doesn't matter what impulses you have and that it doesn't usually hurt anyone when you give in to them. They may even say that if you were born that way that means God is trying to tell you it's ok. It's not. Sexual sin is very serious. Please don't continue in it. Finding pleasure in sin can never lead to happiness... It only leads away from it. Do all that you possibly can to avoid sexual sin and pray with all the energy you can muster!

Dear brother, my prayers are with you. Continue to counsel with your bishop. You are at the age when you should be preparing to serve a mission. If that's an option (i.e. If there are no medical impediments) then make that your goal.. to become worthy .. to prepare yourself for what could be one of the greatest experiences of your life! May the Lord bless you.

Edited by theSQUIDSTER
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I second what everyone has already said!  I emphasize, go see your bishop!  Even if you were excommunicated, that's just another step along the path to repentance, not the end of the world (though I know that at 18 all this can seem like the end of the world).

 

The scripture you were citing was Ether 12:27.

 

It isn't enough to stop sinning, especially not when it's a difficult sin to give up - you need to replace it or you'll just keep falling back on it (cuz you've got nothing better to do).  You need to recognize things which make it easier to sin (people, places, solitude, music, videos, emotions - like anger or frustration, etc.) and avoid them as much as possible, and recognize when temptation is starting and get up or get out and do something else.  Your reaction needs to be quick and decisive - serving others would be a great "something else" - open the scriptures, sing a hymn, call your bishop (or someone who can help you even if they don't know they're helping you).  Surround yourself with good influences (pictures, music, reading).  Go to church (even if it's hard).

 

Change of any kind is very difficult and is only accomplished by continued effort.  Never give up on repentance and improvement - they're the whole point of mortality.

 

Finally, your mention of suicide scares me - please seek help, your bishop, a suicide hotline, a trusted friend or family member, all of the above - Satan's grip is strong when suicide starts looking like an alternative to repentance.  Don't let him win!

 

The Savior loves you.  If feel it right now as I type this.  Trust Him!

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Greetings, Mark!

 

Hi, Babe. When reading this please realize that I am a 66 yr old convert to the Church as is my

HUSBAND. (We weren't baptized together but 20 yrs. apart.) My spouse served 2 honorable terms

in the US Coast Guard after he was baptized.  Soooooo, you are getting advice from people who 

have lived a long time and have pretty much seen it all, which is incorporated into their testimonies. 

 

FIRST OF ALL ---- AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, go see a DOCTOR and tell them how YOU ARE FEELING 

REGARDING THE SUICIDE THING!!!! (VERY IMPORTANT.)  We went "this route" with a couple of 

people in our family. A medical doctor may give you a couple of tests to determine what your matter is, and then he/she will prescribe medication to correct your brain's chemistry. (I'm not a doctor and can't give medical advice.) If you have a deficiency in something, you're in NO POSITION  to be thinking about your future or making decisions. 

 

Go to your phone book and get NUMBERS  for crisis hotlines and CALL THEM IMMEDIATELY when you start TO THINK ABOUT HARMING YOURSELF. REALLY.... It may not be a sin, BUT I AM HERE TO TELL YA----- HEAVENLY FATHER : DOESN'T WANT YOU HARMING OR KILLING YOURSELF!!!!!  Even THOSE FEELINGS are FROM THE ENEMY, NOT FROM GOD!!~ 

 

NO... there are NO SINS the LORD does NOT FORGIVE. Some BIBLE VERSES:  (NT) "John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes upon his name shall not perish , but shall have everlasting life."  "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is everlasting life."  " God came not  into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved."   "NO SIN overtaketh man, but not be covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ." "Though our sins are as red as scarlet, He shall wash them whiter than snow."  

 

There is only one sin that is unpardonable and that is the is "The Sin Against the Holy Spirit,"  which MEANS: NOT LETTING THE HOLY SPIRIT INTO YOUR HEART, which ISN"T YOUR PROBLEM. 

 

HEY, FORGET about all YOUR THEOLOGY and GUILT. IN FACT SCREW THE GUILT. (sorry to be blunt.) but you are going THROUGH PUBERTY, for gosh sakes. Your brain and your body are all over the place.  Please STOP WORRYING. YOU HAVE to : TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!~

At 18 yrs, you are JUST STARTING YOUR LIFE.... and you have some DIRE ISSUES you NEED to HAVE TREATED BY A MEDICAL DOCTOR and non-CHURCH THERAPIST. 

 

You can go see your Bishop or not, he's not trained in dispensing the help that you desperately NEED.

BUT YOU DESPERATELY NEED TO GO TO A MEDICAL DOCTOR NOW. He is the ONE who can 

get things STRAIGHTENED OUT THE FASTEST. 

 

God bless and best of luck!!

 

 

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Satan has been encouraging people to think of sex as love for a long time.  As you describe how limited you think of your possiblities, I'm not at all surprised you are seeking meaning in sex.  It is an age old trap.   And, because it is suppse to feel good, getting out of the trap requires a lot of relearning.   The voice you are hearing that encourages you to feel hopless, to see your situation as hopeless, is from Satan.

 

Your Heavenly Parents and your Savior are absolutely NOT viewing you as hopeless.  They are experiencing your pain and rooting for your success.  They are doing everything you invite them to do to help you.   They love you absolutely, without condition.  They believe in your divine potential that you have a hard time seeing right now.

 

1) Please attend to the medical issues first.

2) If you have never read the Holland talk about the doctrines of intimacy, it will help you know its role in God's plan for you, and allow you to distinguish the guilt that comes from sin, from guilt that doesn't work like God intends for guilt to do. http://www.familylifeeducation.org/gilliland/procgroup/Souls.htm

3)  In your efforts to stop, start at the beginning.  David would never have sent Bathesheba's husband to get killed in the war so he could take her to bed, if he had been where he was supposed to be.   Start with planning your life to be where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to be doing.  Stop the unrighteous thoughts, as soon as they flit into your mind, by substituting an uplifting one.  (This means you have to actively seek and memorize uplifting sayings, songs, and be involved in service and good music and inspiring books and movies.)  

4)  When you stumble, start again ASAP.  People who pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get working again on the problem are never failures.

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There are only two sins that cannot be forgiven.  the sin against the Holy Ghost and shedding of innocent blood.  You don't have the necessary knowledge and temple ordinances to commit the first sin and killing yourself isn't shedding innocent blood.  By its very nature, suicide implies that the person is of unsound mind; not always, but most of the time.  When a person is of unsound mind, the Lord takes that into account.  He looks at the totality of the circumstances before passing judgment.

 

As for the seriousness of your sins, well, you aren't the Lone Ranger.  There are plenty of people who commit serious sins and still fully repent.  What you must realize is that to repent, you must be willing to do whatever is necessary to accomplish this.  You will be required to make many sacrifices to make amends with the Lord, but that is part of accepting responsibility.  This means facing all the consequences of your actions; not just now while you are talking to the bishop, but all the future consequences that continue to roll on.  Unfortunately, the consequences don't stop just because you've repented.  That is part of enduring to the end.  What is important is that you start now while you still have the inclination. 

 

Something else: saying you want to leave the church or don't believe in it any more is a cop out.  What you are really saying is that you don't want to face the consequences of your actions.  I can understand being afraid of those consequences, but at least be honest.  You also don't want to face the circumstances of your life.  I can understand that, too.  Some people are born into a set of circumstances that are pure hell on earth.  I know, because that describes me. 

 

However, that doesn't matter one tiny bit.  They are your circumstances and you must deal with them.  You can deal with them by running or facing them head on and overcoming them.  All running accomplishes is putting off the problem because you will still have those problems after you die.  And putting them off only makes the problems worse after you die.  It took me 55 years to face the set of circumstances I was born into.  You're just 18 and you can avoid a lifetime of pain and anguish by facing your problems NOW.

 

Don't put it off.

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 Before I introduce myself, I want to make clear that I have read the rules to posting certain regards about types of various sins (including sexual immorality), and will make sure to keep those standards with upmost reverence to the members and to God himself. I am in need of advice, not here to dispute any manner of negative behavior towards our faith. I am a Morman.

 

 

 

Good afternoon, my name is Mark Sword, I am currently a Priest of the age of 18. I find myself stuck or rather, terrified at my stance of life having many questions on my standing in the church. When I had turned 18, I soon realized of several mistakes that I have burded for a duration of my early years coming to the important decison of missionary work. I have ultimately come to the decision of counseling with the bishop of my ward in regards to sexual immorality, not to the extent that I'd find myself with temporary pleasure with a partner. All seemed good and well in the plan of my repentance, yet as my mistakes grew as an addiction my perception to stay in a corrcted manner in keeping the commandments easily broke off. Even until now I stand in the three paths; seeking complete and upmost godly sorrowful repentance, decline to purse wordly matters (yet I have learned in the scriptures as mostly anyone in the church that all wordly matters will die/vanish in the second coming), and the hardest decison of ending my own mortality. 

 

 

 Even to this day I look at these three decisons, two as my main goals. I still put repentance on my main objective to correct my willingly sins, though the worldy matters still break my path to repentance. I find myself constantly praying for strenght to lead to sincere repentance, but to the next weekend I find myself in the same spot I was in when I realized that I had broken several points in the law of chasity, if not the whole commandment. To this point, I question myself if God (Jesus Christ) will not forgive me if I relapse and keep kicking against my pricks and eventually beat the sins that I may make that steady and corrected path to repentance (finding myself too late to repent). I do not see if God is still with me, mostly to the fact of me continuing my transgressions with willingness. I still ponder in the back of my mind, if he is mighty to save me.

 

 

 After my counseling with my Bishop, I have remebered two other sins more serious to my fault in sexual immorality. I will not discuss about the start and end of what made me committ to these very serious transgressions, but I will discuss partialy what I have done. Beginning when I was a Freshman in my high school years, I had the negative influences directly at me feeling to the point I was nothing but disabled, I felt ashamed that I had been born with two disabilities that affected me physically and mentally, that I could not live my life to marry and to have the family I wanted in the church. I began to apostatize from the LDS church, and came to the decison of ultimately leaving the once so ever greatness in joy church I had been bapatized into. I had started to fight with god with rebellion in my own anger towads him thinking he personally did this to humiliate me for the rest of my life given. For so long I had not understood why he had given me weaknesses that would literally affect my life's functionality. Then, I began to continually dread that there was no cure unto my main disability. I had looked ahead into my future seeing that I would only become victim to the falls of disadvantage of my weaknesses. I began to become greatly depressed of my weaknesses, starting to live in suicidal intentions. The fact I became overwhelemed that there wasn't a cure to my disability, and the fact I hadn't had any trust at the time that the Lord could help me, I started to plan Suicidal attempts, thinking I could atone my weaknesses and cure them. I attempted three dreadful attempts to end my mortality, but the third attempt, I still remeber a gospel doctrine teaching burst into my thoughts as I was slowly grasping for air; ENDURE TO THE END. I had rembered that teaching in the seminary class I was in currently attending.

 

 

 Even now, I had realized I almost comitted suicide, which is believed to be as serious to Murder, and to be horrified that I may have committed the unpardonable sin. I began to research these very serious transgressions. Finding that not much is known about Suicide itself other than the main commandment; Thou shalt not kill; or anything like unto it, determined that it could have (or would have) ended my chance to be brought into the Celestial and Terrestial kingdoms, but to serve one thousand years of the first Hell in the penalty of that transgression, then be brought into the Telestial Kingdom afterwards. I am shocked that I may have comitted the unpardonable sin, though it is not easy to commit. Correct me under the replys if my answer is incorrect (I am not trying to teach false teachings) but inorder to commited the blasphemy to the Holy Ghost (in which is to God/other sacred things alike) is to, have a perfect witness of God (Jesus Christ) through a vision revealed by the Holy Ghost, see him face to face with a undeniable sight, then with your own agency or even unworthiness, deny that he exists, stating he dosen't live. According to that, that is seen to be the unpardonable sin, have grieved the Lord to the extent that repentance is no longer possible, Murder is forgiveable or is "paid for" after the thousand years of the first Hell (Fisrt spiritial death), unless a person has commited the unpardonable sin as well. I am glad after researching these two serious sins, that I have not been revealed a personal vision of God himself, and very few people do during the years of my rebellion. The Prophet, previous Phrophets, higher authority, and very few people witness a vision of God himself.

 

 

 After I had been brought to hear; ENDURE TO THE END, I searched the scripture during seminary class to find two scriptures containg answers to my rebellion of misunderstanding of my weaknesses. One beginning off as; (Excuse me for not citiing any scriptural references, I cannot relocate them) I gave men weaknesses that they may be humble. The second; (can't remeber the whole scripture) I the Lord make weak things stonger. Both I still remeber in the back of my head whenever I get suicidal intentions. I'm glad I hadn't ended my own morality but I am still horrified about my own personal Apostasy with the church. As Apostasy is looked to be the highest of the sins, I am filled with despair, that even if God taught me by the Holy Ghost the answers of what I needed, there is no hope, that I maybe literally a Son of Perdition. I have not gone back to counsel with my Bishop, in fear of definite Excommunication (Though another scripture clearly defines what happens when we hide ours sins, located somewhere in Doctrine and Covenants, ending at the last part of the scripture; "Amen or Authority of that man"), I have as of not to re-talk to my Bishop. 

 

 

 But with some other respones from chats (Though I should talk with my Bishop, and pray to God for an answer) from Mormon.Org, that I have not certainly committed the unpardonable sin, the fact I am looking for repentance underlines that, I may not be a Son of Perdition. I dreadfully hope that is the case. Somewhere according to the unpardonable sin, a scriptural reference explains that; "it is impossible to bring that man unto repentance", the fact I am looking to God to repent, is the hope I still hang onto repenting and not quit. One of the things my Bishop and and futher counseling form LDS.org described; Do not let Satan teach you that you cannot Repent; Don't look back; and don't give up, the Lord is patient. From those three teachings, I cannot determine whether or not if Satan is tormenting me that repentance is not possible, or the fact God is stating that I cannot. When I choose to sin, I still feel stings and feel ashamed afterwards of my decison, perhaps I still have hope? I still feel the need to repent of all my sins, rather than the attitude of a Son of Perdition that would have no desire to repent, though I keep thinking I may be already a Son of Perdition as I type. I am certain as I type with no regards to lie of this statement, I have not recieved a revealation of God, or his image nor the Father by the Holy Ghost. This is the only underlining piece of hope I hold on to, if that wasn't true, I may have not typed this post. I have random feelings of comfortable warmth in my bosom, perhaps the Holy Ghost, or rather an answer from God? I feel the need to repent yet will it be worth it to my salvation, is the devil tormenting me? I hate to bring these theories up, but I am left to an extent I cannot answer.

 

 

 Sorry for the bulk of my questions, my main need of advice after the bulk of my past is; Is there hope or even mercy for the likes of me? Does God to this point still love me? Does God Hate me? Would anyone have any experience or similar instances and found forgiveness from God?

 

 In dear upmost respect unto God himself and the church, I conclude.

when the people of ammon accepted God and buried their weapons, they considered themselves murderers before their conversion. When their brethren who were angered that they had changed and would not take up arms started slaughtering them until about 1000 were killed before their hearts were softened and in shame they gave up their ways and took up the oath of burying their weapons and accepting god. If they could repent then so can you.

pretty much 2 things will keep you from God- hatred of God (or that which is of God), and procrastination.

If you want to repent then there is hope.

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